A/N: Five points: Don't own CB, No offense to southerners, don't own
Chicago (city, band, musical, and movie), all non-Bebop characters are
mine, and cashews are deadly.
/////////////////////////////////////////
Chapter Four: Cashews VS. Fish and All That Jazz
"Wuzz yer name?," asked Jet Bob.
The guy sitting at the bar in the non-chigger section stared at the misfit gang sans Spike and muttered.
" George Francis Montgomery III," the stranger responded.
"Aw shucks! Ed thought he was 'im but he ain't," Ed said to Ein.
" But my friends call me Big Bubba," the stranger added.
"YER BIG BUBBA?!" the gang even Ein yelled out.
Upon hearing this Spike ran back in and unknowingly dragging Vicious with him. He then daringly strutted right up to Big Bubba and sneezed like a bunny but then Spike stared at him directly in the eye.
"Liten up ya. I gunna take ya'lls in and git my bounty. So r ya goin peace- a-fully?" Spike spat at Big Bubba while shaking the fist which held Vicious at him.
"First, you have a pale man in your grip and second-" Big Bubba said then took out his trusty weapon, yes that's right, a 15-pound North Atlantic salmon, and whacked Spike with it.
Both Spike and Vicious went flying. Jet Bob, Miz Faye Jean, Ed, and Ein ran out of the Krusty Bucket because back when Spike was in the Syndicate of Chicken Farmers (SOCF) attacking someone with a North Atlantic salmon meant certain death. Since both Spike and Vicious were in SOCF a coalition would be formed. The only way to defeat a salmon packing bounty is to use Francis De Valera's ( Bruce Lee's Irish-Japanese 3rd cousin once removed) Prancing Cashew Attack. As Spike and Vicious prepare for the attack we now go outside.
///////////////
" Wha' we do now?" asked Miz Faye Jean as she wrote her name in the dirt.
"I dun know. Wha' 'bout ya, Ed? Wha' do ya have to say?" asked Jet Bob.
"Pop. Six. Squish. Uh uh. Cicero. Lipschitz," Ed replied in a smoky way and repeated it getting louder and more angry with each word.
Jet Bob and Miz Faye Jean stared at her then joined in. (Note: to make it easier for me this part will be written in dialog format.)
All singing and jazz dancing: They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it.
Ed: I betcha you would have done the same!
Jet Bob and Miz Faye Jean: Pop Six Squish Uh uh Cicero Lipschitz
Miz Faye Jean (spoken): Ya'll know 'bout how some people have these lil' habits tha' git to ya. Like Jimmy. Jimmy liked to play with balloons. Nah, not play. POP. Well, Is came home one day an' I've a bad hangover, an' I'm lookin' fer some ice and there Jimmy sitting on the kitchen table, wearin' my white bathrobe, and playin'. Nah, not playin'. POPPIN'. Sos, I said to him. "Ya'll pop that balloon one more time.." and he did. Sos I took the scissors from the drawers and went after him. And gave 'im a . really . bad . haircut.
All: They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same! They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same! They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same!
Jet Bob: Michael Frackus was my partner down at the police station for 2 years. And he seemed very normal. And we were good friends right away. Sos, we worked well together. We'd patrol, come back, he payed me to clip his toenails on his left foot and we patrol again. It was okay except for clipin' toenails but I got money. Then he asked me to clip his toenails on his right foot. "Normal" I thought. Normal, my ass. Not only he wanted me to clip more toenails. oh, no. his right foot had six toes. A genetic thing er somethin'. So when we came back and I started to clip his right foot. You know, I didn't clip the sixth toe.
All: They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same! They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same! Hah! They had it coming. They had it coming. They took advantage of us. erm. YEAH! And then they used us. And some other stuff. It was revenge but the kind that's in a PG rated movie!
Jet Bob and Miz Faye Jean: Pop Six Squish Uh uh Cicero Lipschitz
Ed (spoken): Ed was sittin' in Ed's room playin' with Ed's hammer mindin' Ed's business when a funky bug came crawlin' in. "Sprig. Scratch. Scratch. Boop!" it said. It was nasty and kept sayin', " Sprig. Scratch. Scratch. Boop!" An' then it ran underneath Ed's hammer. It ran underneath Ed's hammer ten times.
All: Pop Six Squish Uh uh Cicero Lipschitz Pop Six Squish Uh uh Cicero Lipschitz If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same.
Ein (spoken):Woof woof, bark arf? Arf growl, bark bark grr yip yap bark bark woof pant yip bark woof. Grr arf yap, pant arf woof. Bark bark arf bark Spike arf bark bark woof. Pant arf grr yip yip bark wof woof bark.
Jet Bob (spoken): Yeah but did you do it?
Ein: Uh uh. Not Guilty!
While that was happening outside back in the Krusty Bucket, Spike and Vicious were still preparing for the attack. During all that time Big Bubba hit the 27 times so they had to start over with each hit.
"Aw. Let's just do it, Spike!" Vicious mumbled.
"Fine," Spike responded.
Suddenly all the cashews in the Krusty Bucket were in their possession and then Spike and Vicious started to throw them at Big Bubba with such vigor that it immediately brought him down. So Big Bubba was handcuffed and was being carried out when all three saw Jet Bob, Miz Faye Jean, Ed, and Ein singing and dancing. They left Big Bubba on the porch and joined in.
Spike (spoken): My best friend, Vicious and I were members of SOCF and Julia May used to attend the meetings with us. Now for the closing of each meeting, each member brought something for the pot luck afterwards. Chutney, grits, johnny cakes, stew, pot pie, spreadable fish, back ribs, fajitas, one dish after the other. Well, this one night we were at the banquet hall of the hotel Cicero, the three of us were boozin' and havin' a few laughs when we ran out of cherries. So I went out to get some. I came back to where we were staying and there's Vicious and Julia May talkin' 'bout my secret recipe, spreadable fish.
All: They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same! They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same!
Spike (spoken) : Well, I was in such a state of shock. I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the cherry stains off my hand. I even knew I started a food fight.
Spike: they had it coming
All: they had it coming
Spike: they had it coming
All: they had it coming
Spike: they had it coming
All: they took advantage of us
Spike: all along
All: . erm. yeah!
Spike: I didn't do it.
All: and then they used us.
Spike: But if I done it.
All: and some other stuff
Spike: How could you tell me
All: it was revenge
Spike: that I was wrong?
All: but the kind that's in a PG rated movie
Vicious (spoken): I loved my bird, Lipschitz, more than I can possibly say. He was a real artsy bird. sensitive. a would be painter if he had opposable thumbs. But he was troubled. He was always trying to find himself and on the way he found Julia May, Ruthie June, Eddie, and the he went back to Julia May. I guess ya can say I got rid of him because of artistic differences. He saw himself living in my house and I saw him out on the street.
All: The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same! They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same!
Miz Faye Jean (Spoken): Ya'll pop that balloon one more time
Jet Bob(spoken): Normal, my ass
Ed (spoken): ten times
Ein (spoken): Bark Bark arf bark Spike arf bark bark woof.
Spike (spoken): My secret recipe, speadable fish
Vicious (spoken): Artistic differences
All: Pop. Six. Squish. Uh uh. Cicero. Lipschitz
" Hey what happened to Big Bubba?" Miz Faye Jean asked.
Spike and Vicious looked around but Big Bubba was nowhere to be found.
What happened to Big Bubba? Why did everyone break out into song and dance? Find out in chapter 5.
Chapter Four: Cashews VS. Fish and All That Jazz
"Wuzz yer name?," asked Jet Bob.
The guy sitting at the bar in the non-chigger section stared at the misfit gang sans Spike and muttered.
" George Francis Montgomery III," the stranger responded.
"Aw shucks! Ed thought he was 'im but he ain't," Ed said to Ein.
" But my friends call me Big Bubba," the stranger added.
"YER BIG BUBBA?!" the gang even Ein yelled out.
Upon hearing this Spike ran back in and unknowingly dragging Vicious with him. He then daringly strutted right up to Big Bubba and sneezed like a bunny but then Spike stared at him directly in the eye.
"Liten up ya. I gunna take ya'lls in and git my bounty. So r ya goin peace- a-fully?" Spike spat at Big Bubba while shaking the fist which held Vicious at him.
"First, you have a pale man in your grip and second-" Big Bubba said then took out his trusty weapon, yes that's right, a 15-pound North Atlantic salmon, and whacked Spike with it.
Both Spike and Vicious went flying. Jet Bob, Miz Faye Jean, Ed, and Ein ran out of the Krusty Bucket because back when Spike was in the Syndicate of Chicken Farmers (SOCF) attacking someone with a North Atlantic salmon meant certain death. Since both Spike and Vicious were in SOCF a coalition would be formed. The only way to defeat a salmon packing bounty is to use Francis De Valera's ( Bruce Lee's Irish-Japanese 3rd cousin once removed) Prancing Cashew Attack. As Spike and Vicious prepare for the attack we now go outside.
///////////////
" Wha' we do now?" asked Miz Faye Jean as she wrote her name in the dirt.
"I dun know. Wha' 'bout ya, Ed? Wha' do ya have to say?" asked Jet Bob.
"Pop. Six. Squish. Uh uh. Cicero. Lipschitz," Ed replied in a smoky way and repeated it getting louder and more angry with each word.
Jet Bob and Miz Faye Jean stared at her then joined in. (Note: to make it easier for me this part will be written in dialog format.)
All singing and jazz dancing: They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it.
Ed: I betcha you would have done the same!
Jet Bob and Miz Faye Jean: Pop Six Squish Uh uh Cicero Lipschitz
Miz Faye Jean (spoken): Ya'll know 'bout how some people have these lil' habits tha' git to ya. Like Jimmy. Jimmy liked to play with balloons. Nah, not play. POP. Well, Is came home one day an' I've a bad hangover, an' I'm lookin' fer some ice and there Jimmy sitting on the kitchen table, wearin' my white bathrobe, and playin'. Nah, not playin'. POPPIN'. Sos, I said to him. "Ya'll pop that balloon one more time.." and he did. Sos I took the scissors from the drawers and went after him. And gave 'im a . really . bad . haircut.
All: They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same! They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same! They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same!
Jet Bob: Michael Frackus was my partner down at the police station for 2 years. And he seemed very normal. And we were good friends right away. Sos, we worked well together. We'd patrol, come back, he payed me to clip his toenails on his left foot and we patrol again. It was okay except for clipin' toenails but I got money. Then he asked me to clip his toenails on his right foot. "Normal" I thought. Normal, my ass. Not only he wanted me to clip more toenails. oh, no. his right foot had six toes. A genetic thing er somethin'. So when we came back and I started to clip his right foot. You know, I didn't clip the sixth toe.
All: They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same! They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same! Hah! They had it coming. They had it coming. They took advantage of us. erm. YEAH! And then they used us. And some other stuff. It was revenge but the kind that's in a PG rated movie!
Jet Bob and Miz Faye Jean: Pop Six Squish Uh uh Cicero Lipschitz
Ed (spoken): Ed was sittin' in Ed's room playin' with Ed's hammer mindin' Ed's business when a funky bug came crawlin' in. "Sprig. Scratch. Scratch. Boop!" it said. It was nasty and kept sayin', " Sprig. Scratch. Scratch. Boop!" An' then it ran underneath Ed's hammer. It ran underneath Ed's hammer ten times.
All: Pop Six Squish Uh uh Cicero Lipschitz Pop Six Squish Uh uh Cicero Lipschitz If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same.
Ein (spoken):Woof woof, bark arf? Arf growl, bark bark grr yip yap bark bark woof pant yip bark woof. Grr arf yap, pant arf woof. Bark bark arf bark Spike arf bark bark woof. Pant arf grr yip yip bark wof woof bark.
Jet Bob (spoken): Yeah but did you do it?
Ein: Uh uh. Not Guilty!
While that was happening outside back in the Krusty Bucket, Spike and Vicious were still preparing for the attack. During all that time Big Bubba hit the 27 times so they had to start over with each hit.
"Aw. Let's just do it, Spike!" Vicious mumbled.
"Fine," Spike responded.
Suddenly all the cashews in the Krusty Bucket were in their possession and then Spike and Vicious started to throw them at Big Bubba with such vigor that it immediately brought him down. So Big Bubba was handcuffed and was being carried out when all three saw Jet Bob, Miz Faye Jean, Ed, and Ein singing and dancing. They left Big Bubba on the porch and joined in.
Spike (spoken): My best friend, Vicious and I were members of SOCF and Julia May used to attend the meetings with us. Now for the closing of each meeting, each member brought something for the pot luck afterwards. Chutney, grits, johnny cakes, stew, pot pie, spreadable fish, back ribs, fajitas, one dish after the other. Well, this one night we were at the banquet hall of the hotel Cicero, the three of us were boozin' and havin' a few laughs when we ran out of cherries. So I went out to get some. I came back to where we were staying and there's Vicious and Julia May talkin' 'bout my secret recipe, spreadable fish.
All: They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same! They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same!
Spike (spoken) : Well, I was in such a state of shock. I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the cherry stains off my hand. I even knew I started a food fight.
Spike: they had it coming
All: they had it coming
Spike: they had it coming
All: they had it coming
Spike: they had it coming
All: they took advantage of us
Spike: all along
All: . erm. yeah!
Spike: I didn't do it.
All: and then they used us.
Spike: But if I done it.
All: and some other stuff
Spike: How could you tell me
All: it was revenge
Spike: that I was wrong?
All: but the kind that's in a PG rated movie
Vicious (spoken): I loved my bird, Lipschitz, more than I can possibly say. He was a real artsy bird. sensitive. a would be painter if he had opposable thumbs. But he was troubled. He was always trying to find himself and on the way he found Julia May, Ruthie June, Eddie, and the he went back to Julia May. I guess ya can say I got rid of him because of artistic differences. He saw himself living in my house and I saw him out on the street.
All: The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same! They had it coming. They had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same!
Miz Faye Jean (Spoken): Ya'll pop that balloon one more time
Jet Bob(spoken): Normal, my ass
Ed (spoken): ten times
Ein (spoken): Bark Bark arf bark Spike arf bark bark woof.
Spike (spoken): My secret recipe, speadable fish
Vicious (spoken): Artistic differences
All: Pop. Six. Squish. Uh uh. Cicero. Lipschitz
" Hey what happened to Big Bubba?" Miz Faye Jean asked.
Spike and Vicious looked around but Big Bubba was nowhere to be found.
What happened to Big Bubba? Why did everyone break out into song and dance? Find out in chapter 5.