.Chapter 9.
For a long
moment, Remus was silent. Finally Elena
raised her eyes to meet his, her face set in a defensive mask that dared him to
ask her any more questions. But the
stricken guilt in his expression and the infinite sadness and compassion in his
beautiful grey eyes stole away her resentment, effectively stripping her of
defences and leaving her carefully concealed pain raw and exposed before his
unblinking, all seeing gaze.
"I'm sorry,
Elena, I - "
She shook her
head and held up her hand, begging him to stop. "Don't apologise," she whispered, "It wasn't your fault. You weren't to know. Can we please … not talk about it any more?"
For a moment
Remus looked as though there was something else he would have liked to
say. But what ever it was, he
restrained himself, and his face relaxed into a crooked half smile. She smiled back out of sheer relief that he
was not going to press the subject, or continue his assault on her hard-won
composure with that soul-searing gaze of his.
"Very well," he
said softly, then his voice changed and took on a more conversational
tone. "Perhaps you can satisfy my
curiosity on this score. What is it
that a Charmer actually does? I'm aware
of the basic concept of course, but your type of magic is rare, and I confess I
know almost nothing about the practicalities of it."
Elena was
overwhelmingly grateful for the distraction he had provided her with. She threw herself behind the topic with
enthusiasm born of sheer relief, but at the same time she was rather pleased to
have the chance to explain her Gift, because very few people did understand
Charming. She said as much, and added
that in some wizarding circles the practice of Charming was actually regarded
with a kind of wary mistrust, and compared with the Unforgivable curse, Imperius.
"It's not a
fair comparison, though," she said emphatically, determined to make her point,
"Charming is not about control, it's about … harmonising. Trust. That's why Charming is so difficult to perform with a human subject. Humans don't trust one another enough to
enable the magic. So usually a Charmer
works with animals. She harnesses
natural magic to link with the creature's mind, and then the animal decides
whether or not it will allow further … melding. If the Charmer is not accepted, there is nothing she can do but
break the link. But if she is accepted,
then the two minds become … combined. They complement one another. The
subject is therefore aware of … influences … from the mind of the Charmer. Not co-ersion. But because the two minds are melded, they are completely aware of
one another, so whatever the Charmer would like the animal to do, the animal
understands it, and complies if it feels inclined. But the subject can break off the link at any time, so it's
impossible to force anyone, human or animal, to do something they don't want to
do, no matter how Gifted a Charmer you are. Human subjects usually break off the link instantly, often without even
being consciously aware that it was ever made at all. It's instinctive. Our
minds are so much more complex and private than an animal's. We have too much to hide to let anyone
inside our heads. Animals are …
simper. More pure. Less suspicious."
Elena broke
off, realising suddenly that she had just spoken more words in five minutes
than she had in all of the twelve months preceding. But Remus was still looking at her, still listening attentively.
"You love
animals, then," he observed seriously. It was not a question, but she shrugged and nodded.
"Yes. More than people sometimes … most of the
time. Most Charmers are the same. I know my mother was…" But she had not meant to speak of her
mother. She did not want to
remember. Not again. Not tonight.
Remus sensed
her withdrawal, and gently turned the conversation.
"Do you have a
favourite? Animal, that is?"
Elena seemed to
consider the question, then her mouth quirked slightly. She turned her head and looked him dead in
the eye.
"Yes," she
replied firmly, "My favourite animals are wolves."
Only by a
supreme exertion of will did Remus manage to conceal his shock at her
words. Did she know?
His gaze
flickered sharply to where Dumbledore was sitting. The old Headmaster was the only one he could think of who might
have dispensed such a piece of information to a woman whom Remus scarcely
knew. But as he turned his head he
found Dumbledore already looking back at him. Their gazes locked, and he saw the older man give a slight shake of his
head.
No. She does not know.
Relieved, but
still bemused, Remus turned his attention back to Elena. He consciously tried to keep his tone casual
as he asked, "Really? Why wolves?"
Again, some
strange, secretive expression seemed to flit across her features as she
considered her answer. "I'm not sure,
exactly," she spoke slowly, her dark blue eyes focusing somewhere in empty
space, "I suppose I've always felt some kind of … affinity with them. The lone wolf, especially. The wolf that can survive alone, without a
pack, is the strongest of them all. It
needs no one, has nothing to loose... And that kind of animal is … dangerous."
Remus watched
her face carefully as she spoke, his sharp gaze taking in every tiny shift in
expression. He knew for certain now
that she was not thinking of him when she spoke of wolves. When he spoke, his voice was soft. "And that is that how you see yourself,
then? Alone? Needing no one? Dangerous…?"
Her eyes flew
to meet his, and she looked startled. "I - Yes," she replied cautiously, after a moment's hesitation, "Yes, I
suppose I do."
He was too good
at this game. Elena felt a little
dizzy, wondering what carefully concealed remnant of her tattered psyche he was
going to expose next.
Desperate to
forestall his next round of incisive observations, she forced a wry smile. "Wait now, Professor Lupin, why are we still
talking about me? If we carry on in
this way, you will know all there is to know about me before dessert is on the
table, and then we will have nothing left to say to each other for the rest of
year."
Remus
acknowledged her withdrawal with a slow smile, and leaned back in his
chair. His steady grey eyes remained
fixed upon her, and something warm flickered in their depths. Elena began to feel warm herself, and looked
down only to find that she was twisting her napkin in her lap like some
ridiculous schoolgirl. She forced her
hands to stillness, but could not look at him.
"Miss
Greenstone," he replied quietly, after a brief moment of silence, "Something
tells me that it would take a lot more than one dinnertime conversation to
learn all there is to know about you. A
lot more."
He spoke with a
smile behind his words, but Elena's expression remained serious. There was something in his tone that
frightened her. "Remus – " she began urgently,
then stopped, faintly shocked by her instinctive use of his first name - an
unintended intimacy. Shrugging it off,
she pressed on. "Remus, there's
something you have to – "
But at that
moment, a small explosion at the Gryffindor sixth years' table sent a billowing
cloud of violet smoke into the air. Professor McGonagall leapt instantly to her feet, muttering about 'those
Cursed twins', and girls began to squeal as they realised their skin and hair
were rapidly turning purple. The Great
Hall erupted into confusion which was swiftly subdued as the charm was
reversed, and the twin boys responsible for the prank were chastised by
Professor McGonagall.
But the moment
was lost, and Elena never did complete her sentence.
