Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a product of Mutant Enemy. I am in no way affiliated with it, the show, or any of the characters.

"So I'll go out every night and capture the demons on lists that you and your superiors make? What if I kill them or something? Is my pay docked?" She asked him in the SUV as they drove out to the facility.

"Not the first three times, but after that, you'll only get paid half of what you normally would."

"Oh. That's...discouraging. Do I go out alone?"

"For some jobs you'll go out alone. For tougher ones, we'll send out a team."

"Do I work every night?"

"At least four nights a week. At least."

"I'm sorry I'm asking so many questions. It's just...I want to be sure of everything, you know?"

"It's ok. I understand. So how'd that vampire gang thing go?"

"The what thing?" She looked at him with confusion written all over her face.

"Vampire gang? When you were at Spike's. You were strategizing," he answered.

"Oh. Yeah. No, that hasn't gone down yet. But I really don't want to be around Spike. He's been kinda moody lately."

"Tell me about it. I want to know about you and Spike."

"There's not really a me and Spike to talk about." She looked down at her hands. "He's in love with me."

"Do you love him?" It was a risky question to answer but she was talking about him a lot lately. Maybe she did love him.

"No. I don't even like him," she said coolly. He looked over at her. "Hey, eyes on the road. Even I know common sense for driving and I don't even have a license."

"What, still?" he asked incredulously. "Cars don't seem to work correctly when I'm at the wheel." She smiled slightly. "Hey, Riley?" He glanced at her. "I told you. Do not look away from that street."

"Okay. Sorry, I know," he responded apologetically. "So 'hey, Riley' what?"

She paused. Buffy was brave, she knew her friends would understand...eventually. "Hypothetically speaking here, but um, say I maybe did like Spike. As an individual. What would you think?"

"Do you?"

"Hypothetically speaking."

"Oh, well, hypothetically speaking, Buffy, it's your life and you are entitled to like as an individual whoever you want. I'd of course hear you out about it, but it's not my place to make judgments."

"And if it was more than like? In a romantic way?"

"Same answer. Now, truthfully speaking, do you love Spike?"

She inhaled deeply and prepared to tell him the truth about her and Spike.

~*~*~

He'd been walking around in his crypt for what felt like hours now. He didn't really have a purpose to, but he felt like if he stood still too long he might combust. His nerves were jolting him upright and kept him moving. He had to keep busy. Even through heavy pacing, he kept his thoughts on the door.

He kept hoping that it would burst open and Buffy would come in. She'd punch him, he'd punch her back, they'd fight some more, and then they'd fuck without ever having to discuss last night's issue when she tried to take care of him and he pushed her away. She was just trying to help him.

Not to mention he was beginning to have a nervous breakdown without any smokes. It could be a good thing because in all honesty, if Spike had some cigarettes, he'd chain-smoke them. That was just the way he was. He couldn't change that. He couldn't change Buffy either. Some part of him tried to bring her to his world in the dark, but ultimately she'd always crawl back out into the sun.

Sometimes he wished he still had that Gem of Amara. Then he could go out into the sun, and play like a real boy instead of lurking around like a stalker. Spike wasn't about lurking. Well, at least he wasn't ideally. He loved being a vampire. That was the stark naked truth. But every once in a while, he got that craving, that reminiscent craving of being in the sun for all to see. He wanted to be warmed by the sun's rays, he wanted to be lit all over by that gorgeous glow that the sun gave out. He wanted to see Buffy in a bikini on a hot summer day on the beach. It always came back to Buffy, didn't it?

Deep down somewhere, there was a hidden agenda. Buffy loved being out there with the living. She loved the sun and the heat and the beauty of it all. She loved what that world had to offer her. Spike wanted to be out there because she was there. He wanted to be part of the beauty she saw.

No, enough Buffy. There would always be Buffy. He didn't want to think about her. Thinking about her...hurt too much. What didn't hurt was when he hit that woman. He punched her. He punched her so hard, she fell unconscious. So maybe he did run away and that vamp would probably kill her, but he played his part in nature's balance. He protected her for a while...hit her yes, but ran away. Bloody hell. He ran away. He really was a joke.

Something was wrong with Spike. He knew it now for sure. First he traveled back in time, then Buffy said she loved him, which is weird all in itself. He knew it. He wasn't going to deny it. On Wednesday he felt like his brains exploded, and he remembered thinking about the chip, how it felt like it was the chip doing this. And then just now he hit that woman, and it didn't hurt.

Was it possible that the chip wasn't working? Or maybe...Buffy accepted the job only if they shut down his chip. There were a number of possibilities, as there always were. Maybe though, his chip still worked and it was the woman. Or maybe it really was Spike and it was all some sort of distorted reality.

His stomach rumbled. Maybe it was time he went out to get some blood and cigarettes, only he couldn't bring himself to do it. He sat down on the coffin, trying to ignore hunger, cravings, and the hurt and confusion he felt because of Buffy. Shush, Spike, don't say that name.

~*~*~

"Buffy."

"What?"

"Are you joking?" Riley asked her.

She looked out her window longingly. They'd been outside in the parking lot of a building she'd never seen before. "Only in the completely serious way. I do love Spike, even if he is an asshole. He loves me and he takes care of me."

"Is that what it is? You feel obligated to love him?"

She sighed. "Can we not talk about this now?" She glanced at the building. "Let's go. Show me the ropes."

When they got inside the building, Buffy was in awe. From the outside it looked shabby and run down. On the inside, it was high-tech all the way. There were computers and cameras, people in lab coats and in army gear, demons inside cells. "This is...uh, sterile. Everything is so...industrialized."

He led her to a room that appeared to be for training. Riley reached into a box and lifted one black bundle. "This is the standard black ops uniform. You can keep it here in your locker, and if you need anymore, just tell me and I'll get you some. This way you can leave your home in your uniform from DoubleMeat, change when you get here and when you leave you'll wear the old uniform home."

"Wow. Did you work out everything?"

"Not just yet. Did you quit?"

"Fired. I didn't go to work yesterday, and plus that fiasco on Monday when you were there and I didn't attend to any customers." She smiled to herself. "No more stink, DoubleMeat medleys, and fisherman's nuggets. No grease traps, special sauce, or gum under the tables. Free at last."

"We should get going. There's a Larox demon in the Restfield Cemetery that's been nesting for a few days in a cave," he said.

"Restfield?"

"That a problem?"

"No, it's just that...Spike. No, I'm being a baby. I can handle Spike. I always have. So let's go. I'm looking to get paid."

~*~*~

He walked through the cemetery carrying a large brown paper grocery bag. He'd tried to sit still and keep his mind blank, but it always went back to his chip or Buffy or how hungry he was. He bought three jars of pig's blood. Spike hated that stuff but it wasn't like he could hunt—or could he?—and it was something to eat. He also bought a carton of cigarettes, which probably wouldn't last all that long. When you don't have to worry about cancer or diseases, it's so easy to chain smoke.

The bottom of his bag fell through and out came the jars and cigarettes. Bullocks. Nothing spilled out of its own individual container but you'd think that since there are so many taxpayers that bags would be stronger and more durable. No such luck. Cheap piece of shit. Spike bent down and started to gather them, when he heard voices. Stupid. Why would anyone be taking a stroll in a cemetery at night in a town with such a high death rate?

They weren't civilians though. They were talking about demons and fighting. Of course. Buffy and that wanker Finn. Probably going to beat something up. 'Oh hell, it better not be me,' he thought. He peered in through the bushes. Yes, it was definitely Buffy and Riley.

She was smiling. Well, fine. If Buffy wants to lie and smile and very possibly cheat on her boyfriend, then there was nothing that he could do, right? He couldn't confront her because it would show that he was following her. He couldn't stand there and watch her make googly eyes at her ex-boyfriend. Spike was stuck somewhere in the middle.

He picked up his things and walked away, which was the right thing to do. If there was competition now with Riley, Spike had to stay on Buffy's good side. He was near his crypt when he started to feel small, cold raindrops. He stopped walking.

Ugh, not rain. Usually he liked the rain. Today it was like tears of ragged desperation wrapping around him in a slow unsteady pace. Horribly slow at the moment. For some reason, he stayed in his same spot. Spike let the rain fall down on him. He even counted the drops that he could feel land on him until it started to get heavier and faster. He looked up at the sky, watching the water drop from unknown heights. With a last look behind him to see if anyone was around, he left the now muddy site. He trudged through the remaining distance to his home solemnly.

~*~*~

The pair tied up the unconscious Larox demon and put it in the van. Buffy's shift was over and she just raked in $1500 dollars.

"I get to fight the bad guys and make money for it. Yay me," she said.

"Tomorrow night I'll come get you early so you can fill out some forms for work."

"Okay, neat." She wiped away the rain that was falling on her face. It'd been raining for a long time and it was starting to seem like it was never going to stop. Not only was it falling fast and heavy, it was cold. "Hey, Riley, do you know what time it is?"

"No, my watch is broken. The damn thing goes through a battery within days. Sorry."