A/N: Yeah, all right, I know what you're all thinking, or at least what you will be thinking very soon... "Man, this girl reads way too many trashy romance novels." Well, fine, guilty as charged. But don't you like the idea of a romance with Remus Lupin as the tortured hero? I do. Hence this saga of a fic, which was only supposed to be 20 chapters at the longest. Remus is more stubborn than I realised. Elena and I are doing our best, but we can't seem to convince him of what's good for him! Silly man. Well, hope you enjoy.

From the last chapter...

Elena could not meet his eyes as he lifted his right hand and curled his strong, blunt-nailed fingers into the semblance of a claw, as if to see if the pattern of slashes matched.

They did.

The worst silence Elena had ever endured ensued.

Finally, Remus spoke, injecting a world of accusation, disbelief and horror into one short word: "You ! "

Chapter 24.

Elena nodded miserably. She saw no point in denying it.

He seemed stunned. For a few moments his words came jerkily, his sentences disjointed. "I thought I dreamed... Another wolf... Didn't think it could have been real... Never thought that... My God, Elena! Do you know what you've done? I could have killed you, or even worse I might have - I might have - "

"Bitten me," she supplied quietly. An image of slavering jaws snapping viviously at her face hovered for a moment in her mind. Only she knew how close she had come to sharing his curse. And that, she knew with grim certainty, would have killed them both.

"I'm sorry," she added lamely, after another moment's pause.

Remus took a deep breath, but said nothing. In three long strides he crossed the room and seated himself in a chair, as though he hadn't had the strength to remain standing. His head dropped into his hands.

"You know, then," he said at last, lifting his head with a conscious effort. "You finally know the truth about me."

"Yes."

"I would not have had you find out in such a way. But that is my fault, of course. If I'd told you earlier, from the start, as an honourable man would have, you would not have followed me, and you would be spared your present pain. None of this would have happened at all."

To her surprise, Elena found herself battling a sudden surge of anger with him. She fought to keep her voice steady as she said icily, "If you think that my shoulder is my greatest source of pain at this moment, Remus, I can assure you that you are mistaken. As for this being your fault... Yes, I wish you had told me earlier the truth of what you suffer from. But I know why you didn't. So how is it any fault of yours that I allowed reckless curiosity to override common sense and common decency when I spied on you and tracked you out into the night?"

Remus's face registered disbelief. "Elena, I nearly killed you!"

"But you didn't."

"I hurt you."

That gave Elena pause. "Yes, you have hurt me," she agreed quietly, "I don't deny that. You've hurt me every day. And watching you sit there and try to take yet more undeserved blame upon yourself hurts me again. But I don't give a damn about my shoulder, that doesn't hurt at all. Not by comparison."

Remus blanched. "Elena, no." His voice was raw. "Please don't do this. You know what I am now, surely you understand at last why I can't... why I could never..."

"Love me?" Elena supplied coolly, her outer calm belying her terror and confusion at the risk she was taking with her own feelings.

There was a long, awkward pause. It took more courage than Elena knew she possessed to keep her gaze level with his.

Then finally, incredibly, he spoke. "Yes."

Elena took a deep, shuddering breath. But before she could respond, he was continuing.

"But you have got to understand, Elena. I have to make you understand. Lycanthropy is not a barrier that can be overcome. It's not some disability you can overlook or accept. I'm a monster, Elena. At regular intervals I lose my mind and start craving human blood. I scarcely deserve to live. I certainly can't be trusted. I can't even trust myself when I'm tranformed! Do you know what that's like? You don't, and if I have anything to so with it, you never will!"

"I don't fear you, Remus." Her voice was firm and determined.

"Then you are the fool. You shouldn't even be here now. You know what I am, you must know what it means. There is no point in prolonging this conversation any further."

"I don't care what you say to me. I will not leave you. I will not turn from you."

"You will leave! You have to. I am good at being alone, Elena; I want to be alone. Don't you understand? I must be alone!"

"Why?"

Why did she keep asking questions?

"Because, damn it," Remus fought very hard to maintain control of his raging emotions, "If I have to spend much more time in your company I'm going to snap under this pressure and do something I'll most certainly regret!"

For a brief moment, Elena was confused. Then awareness flowed through her, and she blushed warmly.

Remus watched the colour rise and fall in her cheeks. "You take my meaning, then," he said tightly.

Elena nodded mutely, an unreadable expression forming behind her extraordinary eyes.

"Then you see why I - "

But the rest of his sentence was lost when, without warning, the unthinkable happened. Elena stepped swiftly forward, and in one smooth unhesitating movement she reached up, linked her hands behind his head and kissed him. Really kissed him, deeply, sweetly, and hungrily.

For a moment he was too stunned to respond. He'd never been so close to a woman in his life. Never experienced anything like the sensations her feel of her mouth on his was invoking. Never known it would be like this...

Without consulting his brain, his body responded. His hands clenched around her waist and pulled her roughly against him as he returned her kiss like a man starved. Warnings wailed somewhere in the back of his head, drowned out by the swirling fire storms that had taken over his body.

Elena's condition was little better. She may have initiated the kiss, but she had not been prepared for such frigthening, ungovernable passion. Not his, not her own. She gasped against his mouth as his hands wandered desperately over her body, her fingers tangling in his hair. Her head dropped back as the heat of his kisses moved over her neck, and a low cry of desire escaped her.

The sound burned through Remus's brain, and awareness suddenly flooded him. All the vows he'd made, and scrupulously kept, every day of his life echoed in his thoughts. Never get too close. Never take a risk. Never fall in love.

A groan of despair tore from him as he fixed his hands on her waist and pushed her forcefully back. As soon as the heat of her body against his was gone, he felt brutally bereft, and it took every ounce of self-control he possessed not to drag her straight back into his arms again.

Elena stared at him for a moment, her expression dazed and her lips swollen and moist from his kisses. Remus searched for words, but they stuck painfully in his throat. All he could do was stare back, his breath coming unevenly, his eyes pleading with her to understand.

She did not. The glaze of passion faded from her eyes, and was replaced with slow comprehension, then pained coldness. Without a sound, she turned away from him, and strode toward the door.

"Elena!" He called her name in desperation, but had no idea of what more he could say.

She paused at the sound of her name, but did not turn around. She seemed to be waiting for something. An explanation? An apology? Another rejection? He didn't know, and could not find it in his heart to give them anyway.

"Elena please," he said at last, his voice a raw half-whisper, "It could never be, you must see that. Even if I could forget the risk of you being bitten, and you know I never could, you have to remember that lycanthropy might be otherwise transmissible, or hereditary, or - "

"Have you even tried to find out?"

Remus blinked. "What?"

Elena still did not turn around. "Have you tried to find out," she repeated, "About the 'other ways' it might be transmissible."

"But that's just it, no one knows." Remus managed a very faint, bitter smile as he added wryly, "Generally speaking, a werewolf's would-be lover doesn't stay around long enough once the truth has been revealed to ask such questions. You're a strange exception."

At that, Elena turned to face him at last, but Remus could see she wasn't smiling.

"So you are pushing me away without even knowing for certain if you have reason to?" She demanded hotly.

Remus's expression hardened. "It's not a risk I'm willing to take," he replied tersely.

"But love is risk, Remus!" Elena shot back, taking a step forward, her eyes flashing furiously.

"Love is a risk, and I love you. Don't you understand? I love you. I love you so much that I would risk anything for you. I would rather become a werewolf with you than live a normal life without you. There is only one thing I know that I could not bear, and that would be to stay here with you and be kept forever at an arm's length, knowing that it's because you have not the courage or the strength of feeling to take a chance on this!"

All the colour had drained from Remus's face. "Elena, no," he whispered painfully, "You don't know what you're saying..."

And suddenly, without warning, the fires dimmed in Elena's eyes. Her anger slipped away, and her shoulders slumped.

"You're wrong, Remus," she replied, her voice only just audible, "I knew exactly what I was saying. But you have just spoken much louder, without even finding the words. Goodbye, then. Perhaps I'll see you before I leave, but if not, I wish you well. With all my heart, I wish you well."

She turned, and slipped away through the open doorway before he could even fully register the import of what she had said. One solitary word rang over and over in his head, final and damning, like a death knell.

"Goodbye..."

A/N: Would hope that by now you don't need to be reminded of this, but what the hell.... "Please review!" : )