Author's Note: There will be an epilogue, then that's it. This is the last true chapter. ~sniffles~ I will be sad to see it go. It has been a good story and brought me many more reviews than I expected. There were times I hated it and resented the energy it drew from me, there were times I became insecure as I wrote, sure that I had messed it all up beyond repair. My reviewers have always come through for me though and let me know it was worth it.

This is for the Touya fans who all let me know I didn't mess up his character too bad. If you like this chapter as much as I do, consider it a gift.

Shades of Discovery

Sakura, Yue

"Onii-chan?"

Sakura had tapped on my door softly, as if afraid to disturb me if I was sleeping already. Her green eyes were wide and a little tearful when I opened my door. I realized that now was not the time to tease her, so I invited her into the sanctuary of my room without a word. I shut the door behind us, wondering what she was going to say.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was almost a whisper and she covered her eyes with her hands as tears began to trail down her cheeks.

Oh no, I didn't need yet another person feeling guilty over a decision I had made. "What for this time, kaijuu? Did you eat my dessert?"

She wouldn't be distracted. "It's all my fault you've been so tired, and I know it. I haven't been able to talk to you in over a week because you're always asleep and I need to say I'm sorry. I heard you talking to Yue that day, and I--"

"Sakura." I frowned. She should be over this by now, shouldn't she? It had been ten days. That was enough time that she shouldn't be crying about it now. "You've been wanting to say something to me since that day, haven't you?"

She nodded solemnly. "When I found out that you know all about it I wanted to say I was sorry, but you're always sleeping now, and I know it's all my fault because I wasn't strong enough and Yukito-san almost died because of me and that's probably why he doesn't like me--"

She broke off with a sob, then gave me a horrified look when she realized what she had just said.

I just ruffled her hair. "Of course he likes you. He told me just the other night that you're like a little sister to him. In fact, he is scared that you won't like him anymore right now."

"He told you about that?" Her words were soft, shy, and a blush began to highlight her cheeks with a touch of pink.

"He told me he let you down gently, and just wants you to be happy, but he feels rotten about breaking your heart." The rest of the conversation was none of her business, even if she had guessed I had my own feelings for him that went beyond just best friends.

She just nodded. "I'm still sorry that you had to--"

"Sakura, what I did was something I wanted to do. I'd do it all over again if I had to, and if I could--not just for Yuki, but for you also. You're my one and only little sister. Got it?"

Before I could stop her, she tackled me in a bear hug that made me wince. She wouldn't stop saying "Thank you!"

"Okay, enough! I got the picture, okay? Leave it to a monster like you to go overboard about it."

I held her close for a moment longer, then chased her out of my room. That's all it took for things to get back to normal between us.

~~~~~@~~~~~

That Sunday there was a festival at Tsukimine Jinja. Yuki and I had planned on making a day of it, starting as early as possible with just talking, and then meeting Sakura for the festival that evening. I overslept and ended up rushing there just in time for a huge lunch. I was famished by the time I arrived, and he was happy to let me eat my fill, even when I picked the last rice ball with a grin. The meal was filled with our usual banter, but with an underlying awareness of the flirting going on.

I couldn't stop thinking of our invisible observer though as I watched him smile at me and say some of the sweetest things. What did Yue think of this? I wished I could look at Yuki and not see his other half, but even without my magic I could feel that cold and distant gaze rake my skin. A nervous flutter started within me, and I realized that I couldn't feel right about our relationship until I knew how Yue felt about it as well.

We finished lunch soon enough, then went to his living room and sat on his couch, facing each other. He reached a hand out to me, twining his slender fingers through mine. Even his hands reminded me of Yue because of how pale they were next to my tan skin. I wanted this so badly, but I had no idea where or how to begin.

"So, where do we go from here?" He smiled at me, unaware of how his question was an echo of my own. I lost myself in that smile a while, but the thought wouldn't be dismissed--what would Yue look like if he smiled like that?

I finally shook my head, trying to rid myself of this new obsession. "I don't know. Shouldn't I be the one asking you that question?"

His smile shifted to something more wicked, suggestive, and teasing. "Well, if it's up to me, I have a few ideas--"

He was doing it again. He was ignoring the feelings of the other being within him. Was it because they agreed on this, or was it because he was trying to deny what he was? He just laughed at the shocked expression on my face. I looked away, wishing for answers and unsure how to get them.

"I had hoped you would talk to Yue somehow. I don't know how this works though. Can you--?"

He withdrew from me, frowning. He shut himself off from me, no longer sharing his emotions on that usually expressive face. "Yes, he and I can talk to each other. I'm not sure what you've wanted me to talk to him about. Maybe you should talk to him yourself, ask him the questions you need."

How could he not know what questions needed asking? I didn't want to face Yue alone, I'd feel embarrassed talking to him about all of this, and I had hoped that Yuki could just clear it all up for me. "That's not what I meant. I just wanted to know a few things. Get things straightened out."

"Touya, I don't want to be spoken through. Please."

He didn't give me a choice, or a chance to argue. The change had already started by the time I realized he hadn't shortened my name that little bit he usually did. It wasn't my nickname from him, but that tiny change that made it my real name.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, even though it was Yue that stood before me now.

Yue simply waited with his arms crossed over his chest, looking for all the world as if that pose was the only one he felt comfortable in. His gaze was as distant as I remembered, but his perfection of form struck me anew. What was I playing at? I didn't deserve someone as wonderful as Yuki, let alone someone as beautiful as Yue.

"When you are in Yuki's form, how much are you aware of?" It was all I could think of to ask.

"Everything."

My heart skipped a beat. It was just as I feared. "How do you feel about that?"

He stared off into space after that, his expression completely unreadable. He was silent for a very long time and I almost thought he wouldn't answer me when the corner of his lips turned up in a wry grin. "Conflicted."

It was an answer I could understand, even if it didn't help me figure out what to do next. I stood up so I could face him and talk to him on a more even level. "I want you to know, the last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable. If I can help you with that conflict, I'll do anything I can."

He moved back from me slightly, looking troubled as he looked me in the eye. "Why?"

If he wasn't going to make this easier, if he insisted on one word replies.... "What?"

"You need me to elaborate? Fine. Why are you doing all of this? You've done so much for me already, more than I could repay in a hundred years, so why are you so willing?"

I laughed. "That's an easy question. It's because I love Yuki. Now, ask me a hard question."

He did. "How do you feel about me?"

I just wasn't used to being caught off guard like this. I stood there, doing what must have been an impressive fish impression as my mouth opened and closed for a while. I could think of a few things I wanted to say. I couldn't think of one safe thing to say though. What did he want from me with that question?

He shook his head, disappointment showing for a moment only to be replaced by his usual calm neutrality. "I shouldn't have asked that."

"Yue, I don't know how to answer that. I've only met you once before now, but you've seen me through Yuki's eyes the entire time." He blinked, but that was the only hint of emotion that crossed his face. "What do you want me to feel about you?"

His eyes slipped closed and I was afraid he would leave, withdrawing back into Yuki with nothing resolved.

"We need to resolve this! I can't do a thing about how I feel and how Yuki feels until I know how you feel also!"

His eyes flew open and he frowned at my outburst. "You think I don't know that? Didn't you believe me when I said I was aware of everything while in Yukito's form?"

"I'm sorry, I--"

He held up a hand to stop me, then turned away. He started walking and I followed. We had made it to the back yard before he turned to me again. "Yue?"

"What do I want you to feel? Do you want me to answer that still?"

I winced. It sounded like such a rude and presumptuous question the way he said it and I hated myself for uttering it in the first place. "I don't know what we're supposed to say to each other. You know I'm in love with Yuki. I guess I just want to know how you feel about that. Is it okay with you?"

"I'm in love with someone else."

I felt shattered by his words. The blood drained from my head, leaving me pale and a touch dizzy. "Who?"

He smiled a bit sadly and my heart broke to look at his eyes. He gazed up at the blue sky as if that held the key to his heart. "His name was Clow Reed. He's the one who created the cards, Keroberus, and me."

"He's dead?"

A tear actually slid down his cheek, and that was all the answer I thought I needed. If I had known him better then, I might have realized that it would take more than that to make him cry. I found out later that he kept feeling Clow's presence and wasn't sure if his love was alive or not. If Clow was a live it would be the most painful rejection conceivable.

I put my hand on his shoulder, hoping that he was used to me enough from Yuki's perspective that he wouldn't mind the gesture. He wiped the tear away with an impatient gesture and turned his back on me. "I wasn't seeking sympathy. I know what it means to love, and I would not stand in your way."

I wanted to just thank him, but I couldn't leave it at that. "Then you don't mind if Yuki and I--?"

He shook his head, still facing away.

"But you said yourself you are aware of everything." I was fearful and hopeful at the same time, but I felt compelled to press on. "Is that what you want?"

His spine stiffened, and he didn't move at all for a very long time. I waited as long as I could, but eventually turned to walk back inside. My thoughts raced through my mind at such a speed that I couldn't grasp any of it. Too much static. I couldn't make out a word.

I had barely stepped inside when I heard his voice behind me. "Would it be so bad if that is what I want?"

I was stunned speechless. I turned to look at him, but I couldn't make myself say a word or show a single emotion. It was the last thing I had expected and I had no idea how to deal with it. I wanted to simply reach out to him and hold him until he could forget all of his pain. I couldn't even blink.

He stood in the doorway, right behind me, backlit by the afternoon sun sinking in the sky. I could almost make out the expression on his face, but it was too hard to see to be sure. Was he really as afraid as he seemed to be? I couldn't tell. He couldn't be half as scared as I was though, right?

He turned away from me again, and as his face turned and was in the light again, I could see his expression clearly. Fear and pain. Then he was disappearing, becoming Yuki again.

I started breathing again, forcing myself to let go of the shock. I had chased Yue away by being unable to react, when that was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to be there for him also. If he had to be there, watching Yuki and I love each other, I wanted that to be his desire as well. He was a part of this, no matter how he tried to hide. He was a part of my love. I wanted to love him as well.

I had seen past the mask years ago, I had known the truth without knowing what I was seeing. I could never have loved Yuki without that depth added, so I realized that I loved Yue as well. I loved the mask, and I loved the reality. They were whole together, and I couldn't love one above the other. Actually, I could not love one without also loving the other.

Yuki swayed a little, grasping the door frame to maintain his balance despite his disorientation.

"Are you okay?"

"A little confused," he said softly, then he turned to me with a smile. "I am okay though, so don't worry."

I wrapped him up in a hug, trying to hold him as close as I could, but it just wasn't close enough for me. I wanted to reassure Yue, as well as him, that it would all be okay. I loved him.

Why didn't I just say that already?

"Before we talk, try to figure things out, do anything else at all, I just want to hold you and tell you one thing. I love you."

I could see wonder in his eyes. I had made him happy. "I love you too, Touya." This time when he said my name I understood. It wasn't because he was mad at me that he said it this way, but that Yue was so close to the surface. I could feel that the love came from them both somehow, no matter how terrified that made the angel within. His expression changed subtly though, from simply enjoying the moment, to accepting the inevitable with as much grace as he could. "Now, what do we need to talk about?"

Where to begin? After all that had been said and even more that had been unsaid between Yue and me, I needed to sort it all out or go insane. "I still don't know where to begin."

"What about telling me what the two of you talked about for so long?"

"What about I just hold you some more?"

"To-ya, I--"

I wouldn't let him protest. I needed him in my arms so the insecurity would fade, even just a little bit. Could I hold on to him? Did I deserve him? Would he be happy with me?

"When I said I loved you, I meant every bit of you. Everything about you. Is that okay?"

Everything.

"Yes To-ya, it's perfectly fine with me."

In his eyes was that hint of something I recognized as being Yue. He understood. Yuki's face nearly exploded with the happiness within him, the happiness that Yue was too scared to show himself. I knew though, he was happy too.

Like a fairy tale, we could work on that happily ever after.