Title: It Was Always You
Author: Angeleyez
Summary: Future Fic: Rory left for college on bad terms with Jess. Now six years later Rory is happy and successful working as an advice columnist at a newspaper in New York City. Her best friend's sister just got engaged and Rory can't believe who the groom to be is.
Rating: PG: 13
Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah. You want the long version? See prologue. Here's the reader's digest version: Me poor. Don't own Gilmore Girls. Don't sue.
Woohoo! Over thirty reviews! Wow I can't believe it! Thank you all so much! Reviews make me happy. Me being happy can sometimes result in me doing the snoopy dance. My dancing always results in people laughing. Their laughing makes them happy. Them being happy makes other people happy and so on and so on. It's like a chain reaction. So you see, giving me reviews is making people everywhere happy. Yes, that did make sense to me and no my logic does not resemble your normal logic.
"Rory, are you okay? You look…" Christine trailed off.
"Flustered," Angela supplied.
"Yeah, flustered," Chris agreed.
Rory continued to stare at Jess but managed to get out a weak, "I'm fine."
"If you say so. Uh, this is Jess Mariano." Christine gestured towards him.
Now what? Should she tell them she knew him? Then there would be questions. Too many questions. What would she say?
"Me and Jess? Yeah, we're old friends! I cheated on my boyfriend with him a couple of times. And this one time I almost told him I loved him. Isn't that hilarious? Oh, oh, get this! I think I still love him! Small world, huh?" Oh yeah, that would go over great. Rory could imagine the looks on Angela's and Chris's faces.
Pretending was easier. It always was. She was great at it.
But she missed the days where playing pretend meant being a fairy princess and not hiding your true feelings.
Rory stuck out her hand. "It's nice to meet you Jess. I'm Rory Gilmore."
Jess looked at her carefully. It was as if he was asking, Is that what you want? He then took her hand and shook it.
And that was all it took. She felt electricity shoot up her arm and herself blushing. She needed to get out of there now.
"Ror, sit down. I'm hungry and I already ate the silverware," Chris said.
Rory looked longingly at the exit before replying, "Alright." She then sat down at the only available seat, the one next to Jess. Her leg brushed his as she sat down. She felt the electricity again. "But I can't stay too long," she said quickly. "I have a lot of work to do."
"But its Saturday," Chris said
"I have a lot to catch up on."
"Uh, okay." Chris knew there was something up. She gave Rory a 'We'll talk about this later' look. Rory just gave her a half smile.
An awkward silence fell over the table.
What now?
Rory wanted to run away. She had wanted this, dreamt of this. To see Jess again.
Oh god. She wanted to hug him. Or kiss him. Whatever, it didn't matter. She just wanted him.
But she knew she couldn't have him.
He was sitting right next to her and she couldn't touch him. He somehow seemed farther away now than he had yesterday. Before she hadn't known where he was or if he was with someone. Maybe, she felt hopeful. Maybe she was waiting for him.
Waiting for him?
Oh, she really needed to stop thinking.
"You have coffee all over your shirt," Angela broke the silence.
Rory looked down at her shirt. Very nice. Thanks for pointing that one out Angela.
Rory suddenly felt very self-conscious. Angela looked absolutely gorgeous, perfectly put together. Very similar to how Rory had looked that morning pre-clumsy woman incident.
And Jess. He looked better than he had when she had last seen him; if that was even possible. His hair still stuck up everywhere (in that very cute way) and he had a little stubble on his chin. He looked more grown up.
And here was Rory looking like a train wreck.
"Coffee is the new pink," Rory replied simply.
Angela gave her a weird look.
The waitress came over then. "Ready to order?"
"Yeah. I'll have a cheeseburger and french fries with a side of, well, french fries," Chris replied at top speed.
The waitress actually seemed to understand her. "How do you want the burger cooked?"
"Well done."
"Yeah, I'll have the same," Jess said.
"I'll have a salad. No dressing," Angela said sweetly. Okay, Rory thought. She was one of those women.
"And for you?" The waitress asked Rory.
"A bowl of coffee."
"I'm sorry?" The waitress looked confused.
"I want your biggest mug. No, two of your biggest mugs. Wait, on second thought, just bring over a pot of coffee."
The waitress looked at Rory strangely. "Uh, alright."
"Don't you want anything to eat?" Jess asked her.
Damn, he was looking at her. Rory had been trying to avoid his gaze. Didn't want to look into his eyes.
She looked directly over his head when she answered, "Nope. Not hungry."
Jess looked at her strangely. When was a Gilmore not hungry? "Are you sure?"
"Positive."
"Uh, okay. That's it then I guess," Jess said to the waitress.
She nodded then walked away to fill their order.
Weird silence fell upon them again.
"So, when's the wedding?" Chris asked hoping to start a conversation.
"About two months. There is this beautiful Church over on Third Street," Angela began.
"Wow, short engagement," Rory interjected.
Angela ignored her. "I have my wedding dressed all planned out! Right down to the thread count. I have been designing it since I was a kid. And now I am going to have it specially made!"
Oh no. She was going to describe every detail of the dress. The dress she would be marrying Jess in. Rory was already seeing visions of Angela and Jess walking down the aisle. She didn't need the exact details of the dress to add to it. She didn't want to hear this. Rory needed to get out of there.
As Angela opened her mouth again to begin the description, Rory jumped up nearly sending her chair to the ground.
"Are you okay?" Chris asked.
"Bathroom. Need to freshen up," Rory said quickly as she headed toward the restroom.
"Ror, hun, are you sure?" Chris called after her. Rory just continued on to the bathroom.
She pushed the door open and ran to a stall. She locked herself in and leaned back against the door.
Jess. He was back and engaged. So what? It's not like Rory thought they would ever get together. Not after the last time she saw him. She began to think about that night in June. It had been a week before her graduation.
Rory was at the bridge. Her feet had brought her there automatically. Old habit. The rain was very light so she sat down. Her feet dangled only a few inches above the lake and she could see her reflection broken up by the raindrops hitting the surface. The rain began to come down harder but it didn't faze her. She needed time to think.
She had just come from Dean's. They were celebrating his graduation from high school. Stars Hollow High was already out. Chilton had a week left.
She was supposed to break up with him. Tell him that long-distance relationships never worked out, even if she was only going to Boston. But to tell you the truth, she did want a long-distance relationship.
Just not with Dean.
Jess and her had grown so close over the past few months. She knew she wanted to be with him. No one could make her laugh like he did. And no one could make her feel as happy as he could.
She had told Jess she was breaking up with Dean. Had promised him. Told him that that was what she wanted.
But when she had seen Dean, the words just caught in her throat. He was still in love with her after almost three years. He was so hopeful for the future, so good to her. She had never gotten the words out.
Now she was at the bridge. What would she say to Jess?
How long she sat there she wasn't sure. The bridge felt hard and uncomfortable underneath her. Her body became like ice.
Suddenly, there was a hand on her shoulder.
From one touch she knew who it was. He lowered himself beside her. He took her frozen hand is his and slowly she felt her fingers warm.
Dean and the non break-up floated from her mind as he looked at her. Brown eyes met blue. The cold and the rain faded away and her thoughts about Dean and college and her future just disappeared. They both leaned forward at the same time. Their lips touched and she was gone. Disappearing into him.
She wasn't sure how long the kiss lasted or who pulled away first.
"I guess I'm allowed to do that now, huh?" Jess asked her with his trademark smirk.
Rory just stared. She didn't know what to say.
"You know. Because you broke up with Dean?" It was more of a question.
"Are you still with him?" He couldn't believe it. She had said it was over. She swore she was going to break up with him. And that kiss they just shared… there was something there. There had always been something there.
"Jess, I'm so sor-"
"No. I don't wanna hear it. More of your stupid excuses of how you don't want to hurt Dean. No, just hurt me." Rory began crying at this. That had never been her intention. She didn't want to hurt him, just the opposite.
"Jess, please, just listen."
Jess just held up his hands. "I'm done listening. Done putting up with this. You obviously don't want this." He looked down at the bridge. "You don't want me." He sighed. "No more. I'll see you around."
Then he turned around and was about to walk away when her voice stopped him.
"Jess, I," She knew what she wanted to say. Those three little words. With Dean she was unsure of saying it. Hadn't been ready. But now with Jess, she knew. She felt it. She was in love with him. But she choked on the words. What if he didn't love her back? What if he just threw it in her face? What if he really was done with her?
When she didn't say anything else he began to walk away. Rory was really crying at this point. This was not how it was supposed to turn out.
Soon he was out of sight. "I love you," she whispered. But it was too late. He was gone.
It was the last time she had seen him. Well, until now.
Rory felt tears. "Damn it. Damn him." She sighed. She walked out of the stall and over to the mirror. She looked horrible. She splashed some water on her face and dried it. Then she finger combed her hair. Better, except for the shirt. There was nothing she could do about that.
This is stupid, she thought to herself. It doesn't matter that he's getting married. It's over between you too. Hell, it never even began. He's engaged now. You have to stop thinking about him. But he's not married yet. Maybe you could tell him that-
"No," Rory said out loud. She was going to forget about him. She would congratulate him on his wedding and shake his hand and smile while doing it. After lunch, she would never have to see him again. It had been six years and besides, he had walked away from her.
Rory felt calmer. One more deep breath and she was walking toward the bathroom door. When she opened it she saw none other than Jess.
"Hi," he said.
"Hi."
Jess walked forward causing Rory to walk backwards back into the restroom.
"Men's room full?" She asked sarcastically.
He ignored her comment. "Nice to meet you? What was that?"
"It was English," Rory explained.
"No Rory. I'm the sarcastic one, remember? Oh wait. Sorry. You don't know me."
"Look, what was I supposed to say to them? If we said we knew each other it would just be question after question."
"Oh come on. We were friends during high school. Big deal."
What the hell? Obviously Rory had felt more for him than he had for her. She was just a silly high school friend. A thing from the past. "Yeah, just friends." Damn. She wasn't supposed to sound so sad.
"Rory." He reached out for her. She took a step back. "I thought that's all we were. You know, seeing as how you were oh so in love with Dean."
"You don't know how I felt about Dean! God, I was so confused then. He was my boyfriend and you were-"
"Not. Yeah I get it. He was your boyfriend and I wasn't. There wasn't anything between us."
"Oh not fair!" Rory was starting to get angry. "I remember kissing you on the bridge. That was something."
"You were still with Dean! Or did you forget that along with knowing me?"
"Stop it! I told you why I pretended not to know you."
"Pretty weak reason."
"Jess…"
"Fine. I don't know you and you don't know me. We have never met. We have never kissed. And you never pushed me away."
"Pushed you away? Excuse me but I remember you leaving on your own. You didn't even say goodbye or anything. You simply packed up your stuff and told Luke you were going."
"Oh yes. I left even though you wanted me here so much."
"I did not push you away."
"No, staying with Dean was clearly bringing us closer."
Rory sighed. This was getting them nowhere. "I'm going back to the table."
"Fine. After you stranger."
Rory stormed past him and out of the bathroom. She sat down in front of Chris.
"You look a little better," Chris said.
"That's because I am," Rory replied.
Jess sat down at the table about a minute later.
"What took you so long?" Angela asked.
"There was a line in the men's room. Only one toilet working."
"Oh." Angela took a sip of her drink.
"So, Lori. What do you do for a living?" Jess asked turning to face her.
"Rory. It's Rory," she said irritably.
"Very unusual name. Is it short for something?"
Fine. If he wanted to play it this way she could too.
"Well, as a matter of fact, Jesse, it-"
"Jess," he interrupted.
"What?"
"The name is Jess."
"Oh, so sorry," Rory replied sweetly.
He gave her a dirty look but she simply smiled.
It was going to be a long lunch.
A/N: Chapter Three is all done! Wow this one took me a while to write. I think this was and will remain to be one of the hardest chapters to write. I so wanted the Rory and Jess meeting to be perfect and believable and in character. So let me know what you think. Review, review. Remember my funny logic and silly snoopy dance!