Title: Devastating Past
Author: Valerie
E-mail: funbreath@msn.com
Disclaimer: they don't belong to me
Summary: AU Angel is new at Sunnydale High. He meets Buffy and the gang. They think he's just a regular kid. Not likely.
Timeline: during season 2 of BTVS...sorta. Let's just say that Buffy and the gang are in their Junior year in Sunnydale High.
Spoilers: as far as alternate universe goes...almost nothing. References on demons from BTVS and Angel from time to time, but that's about it
Rating: R
Distribution: You can take it but ask me first please.
Feedback: That's a big big big yes!!!!! It's my first fic, so please?
*********
15.
"Hmm. Mmmm." Buffy moaned loudly, making Angel chuckle. They had been making out for more than 30 minutes now, laying on his couch, after they had finished emptying Angel's stuff, hanging posters on the wall, moving around furniture...She finally broke the kiss, panting heavily. "Wow. You're an amazingly good kisser." The slayer commented, caressing Angel's back through his shirt.
"I try." They smiled at each other, and then Angel started kissing Buffy on her cheek, along her jaw line, tracing a path with his lips to her neck and on her shoulder to finally find his way back to her lips.
"I gotta" kiss "go at" kiss "Willow's. She" Angel cut her off by crushing his lips on hers in a demanding kiss. His tongue caressing and massaging, his hands exploring, Buffy was overwhelmed by Angel's touch.
"We have time" He whispered as he nibbled at her bottom lip and slipped his hands under her tank top to caress her back.
"Wait, Angel stop." She pressed her fingers against his mouth and forced him to move his head back a little, making him whimper slightly. "What time is it?"
"I don't know." He said, kissing her fingers and making her giggle. She tried to grab his wrist to check the time on his watch, but he grabbed her first by the waist and pulled her to him as he sat on the couch, forcing her to straddle his thighs. He kept her quiet with passion-filled kisses for another 5 minutes. When they broke the kiss, they looked into each other's eyes and sighed happily.
"That was good."
"Yeah, it was." He agreed, still holding her to him by the waist. She rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes to enjoy the moment fully, as she was gently caressing the nape of his neck.
"I'm really gonna have to go though. Willow said her parents wouldn't be home before 12.30 'cause they had a dinner with friends or whatever, but she said I'd better come over before they come back." Buffy told him, her voice slightly muffled by his shoulder.
"Why?" He was fingering the hem of her tank top, trying not to forget about his sister's warning not to do anything more than kissing. He had promised her not to go too far with Buffy, but now he realized just how much it was hard to respect his word. She was sitting on his lap, straddling him and nuzzling his neck, and he couldn't stop himself from wanting to rip off her clothes and make love to her right here, right now.
"Cause if they see me coming over in the middle of the night, they'll ask questions, and tell my mom."
He was still perplexed. "And you're not allowed to go to your friend's in the middle of the night after a date?"
She was surprised by his disbelief and looked at him. "Duh! I can't even imagine how long I'd be grounded! How would your mother react if she found out her child was out in the middle of the night?" She asked, raising her eyebrows, forgetting for a moment about his situation.
"Well, it's not like I've got a way to find out." He replied calmly, not showing the hurt her question had caused him.
And now, she remembered. "Oh my god, Angel, I'm so sorry. I forgot...God, I'm so stupid. Sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up." She smiled apologetically at him and stroke his cheek sweetly.
"It's ok, it's not your fault." He whispered, casting his eyes on the floor.
"I'm really sorry, I'll never bring that up ever again."
He looked up at her, tracing the outlines of her lips with his thumb. "Don't worry about it."
"But you're upset."
He sighed and kissed her sweetly. "It's just hard here. In Sunnydale. Back in New York and Los Angeles everybody knew who I was...I had friends."
"You have friends here." She disagreed, kissing his temple. He gave her that half-smile that made her knees weak.
"I guess, but it's really not the same. Your friends are nice, and everything, but they're not the kind of persons I used to hang with."
"Why?"
"If you meet my friends, you'll understand." He replied as he was caressing her hair soothingly. She caught his wrist and looked at his watch.
"11.45! Damn! Ugh, I have to go." She told him with a deep sigh of disappointment.
"Well, you don't have to. Why don't you just stay with me for the night? Sleep here." He suggested hopefully.
*Okay...Now I'm scared. What the HELL did he mean by that? Sleep here, sleep sleep or sleep here as in sleep with me as in sex? Oh god, it was going so great, and I just screwed up everything when I mentioned his mom and now he's hurt and he'll think I want to stay away from him and...Oh my god! What if he expects me to have sex with him because it would make him feel better and I would...Oh look at that, I'm babbling in my own head, I'm going insane!*
As Buffy had been silent for quite a long time and was just staring at him with wide eyes, Angel realized what she might have thought. "Stay with me as in sleep, as in you in the bed and me on the couch." He clarified, although he would have preferred the other meaning of sleeping.
She smiled at him sheepishly. "Sorry, I was just...whatever." she started blushing from the embarrassment, and he couldn't help but grin at that.
*She's so cute.* "What do you say?"
"Sorry, I'd like to stay, but I should go to Willow's. I don't wanna...you know...go too fast."
"Too fast? Buffy, I was just asking you to stay over for the night to...talk. I wasn't implying we'd have sex. I never thought you'd even want on the first date." He explained, a little annoyed. After Julie, his first and almost only serious girlfriend, Angel had never frequented innocent sweet girls like Buffy, the girls he had been with had been all in it for sex, not that he complained. He was truly making efforts with Buffy, not giving in to his desires, listening to her. He really cared a lot for her feelings, even more than he had for Julie...and that meant something. So he was a little upset that she could think he wanted her to stay only to sleep with her.
She smiled inwardly. *He's been thinking about sleeping with me. I can't believe he thought about being with me that way...well, I guess it's normal for a guy, but he's so sweet to admit it and assure me he didn't expect it to happen.* "I know, and I didn't mean to say that you did anything wrong. I'm so glad about tonight, it was the best date ever. I care so much about you and...I can't help being scared."
"I don't understand, what scares you? Me?" He asked anxiously. She smiled reassuringly at him and kissed him sweetly.
"YOU don't scare me, but you're older, you have a totally different life... I don't really know you." She admitted, biting her bottom lip.
"We'll go slow." He promised her, and they sealed their decision with a sweet long kiss.
*****
"Will you be there tomorrow? You know...come over at your sister's?" Buffy whispered so that she wouldn't wake up the neighbors. Angel was holding her tightly against his body, and she had her arms encircled around his waist. They were standing in front of the door of Willow's bedroom balcony, saying their good-byes for the night.
"I don't know. I don't wanna intrude." He whispered back, pressing his forehead against hers.
"Angel, you're not going to intrude on your own sister, your friends and your girlfriend." She assured him.
He was surprised by the way she mentioned herself, as his girlfriend. He should be upset about it, because he did swore he'd never commit himself to a girl that way ever again, but it somehow excited him that Buffy was his girlfriend. Key word: HIS. "girlfriend." He repeated after a moment.
Buffy looked lost. "huh?"
"Y-You said...that you were my girlfriend." He clarified, enjoying the way it sounded.
"Oh." She blushed suddenly and cast her gaze on her feet. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...well I just...figured that since we were on kissing terms...we were...you know...but if you don't want to"
"Buffy" He interrupted her babbling, raising her chin with his fingers. "I'm glad I'm your boyfriend." That made her smile. They kissed for a long time, until they heard a shriek behind Buffy. They pulled apart and Buffy turned around to see Willow standing at her bedroom door, grinning like an idiot.
"Sorry guys, I didn't mean to stop you. Please, go ahead, finish. I'll just wait in my bedroom." She told them excitedly before going back in.
After a beat, Buffy turned back in Angel's arms to face him with a smile. "I guess that's my cue to go."
Angel sighed heavily. "Yeah."
"See you tomorrow...maybe?" She looked at him hopefully.
"Maybe. I've got stuff to do, but if I don't finish too late I'll pass by."
"Okay." Angel bent his head down, pressing his lips softly against hers, and Buffy returned immediately the kiss. She moved even closer to him and placed her hand on the back of his head, slipping her tongue into his mouth and massaging his tongue sensually.
"Good night." She whispered when they pulled away.
"Night baby" He murmured back. After a couple of last kisses, they pulled apart and Angel walked away, climbed on his bike and drove home as Buffy entered Willow's bedroom, preparing herself to tell the whole story of the date over and over again to her best friend. She smiled broadly at the thought.
*****
~~ Angel was walking out of the club, in search of Steven. It had been a while since his best friend had gone out to call his girlfriend, and Angel couldn't help but wonder what in the world took him so long. As he walked from the entrance of the club to the other side of the parking lot where the public phones where, he felt a human presence. Two actually. He turned around, scanning the area, his sight not being too much restrained by the thick darkness of the night, thanks to his vampire senses. That's when he spotted them. They were facing each other, obviously arguing violently, about 200 meters away from where he was standing. He walked towards them, being able to distinguish more and more details of their appearance with each step he took. Angel was feeling somehow anxious, and the knot in his stomach was becoming more and more important as he approached the two persons. Eventually he saw it. In her hand. Fear gripped his heart and he started running like crazy, as fast as he could. He ran...and screamed. FLASH. Blood everywhere. He couldn't see anything. Blood had stained his shirt, his pants, his hands where soaked with blood and blood dripped on the floor. Soon the siren of the ambulance was piercing the silence of night, but Angel didn't hear it. His mind had gone blank. He couldn't have formed a coherent sentence right now even if he had been able to make a sound. His entire body was trembling, and he was clinging at his brother's hand like a lifeline. Suddenly he heard Steven's abnormally angry voice. "It's your fault! You did it! It's all your fault you! I'll never forgive you, you fucking bastard!!" ~~
Angel's eyes shot open, his body sweaty and shaking violently from the still fresh memories of his dream. Tears rolling freely on his cheeks, he curled up in his bed and cried for the rest of the night, begging for forgiveness between sobs.
*********
Author: Valerie
E-mail: funbreath@msn.com
Disclaimer: they don't belong to me
Summary: AU Angel is new at Sunnydale High. He meets Buffy and the gang. They think he's just a regular kid. Not likely.
Timeline: during season 2 of BTVS...sorta. Let's just say that Buffy and the gang are in their Junior year in Sunnydale High.
Spoilers: as far as alternate universe goes...almost nothing. References on demons from BTVS and Angel from time to time, but that's about it
Rating: R
Distribution: You can take it but ask me first please.
Feedback: That's a big big big yes!!!!! It's my first fic, so please?
*********
15.
"Hmm. Mmmm." Buffy moaned loudly, making Angel chuckle. They had been making out for more than 30 minutes now, laying on his couch, after they had finished emptying Angel's stuff, hanging posters on the wall, moving around furniture...She finally broke the kiss, panting heavily. "Wow. You're an amazingly good kisser." The slayer commented, caressing Angel's back through his shirt.
"I try." They smiled at each other, and then Angel started kissing Buffy on her cheek, along her jaw line, tracing a path with his lips to her neck and on her shoulder to finally find his way back to her lips.
"I gotta" kiss "go at" kiss "Willow's. She" Angel cut her off by crushing his lips on hers in a demanding kiss. His tongue caressing and massaging, his hands exploring, Buffy was overwhelmed by Angel's touch.
"We have time" He whispered as he nibbled at her bottom lip and slipped his hands under her tank top to caress her back.
"Wait, Angel stop." She pressed her fingers against his mouth and forced him to move his head back a little, making him whimper slightly. "What time is it?"
"I don't know." He said, kissing her fingers and making her giggle. She tried to grab his wrist to check the time on his watch, but he grabbed her first by the waist and pulled her to him as he sat on the couch, forcing her to straddle his thighs. He kept her quiet with passion-filled kisses for another 5 minutes. When they broke the kiss, they looked into each other's eyes and sighed happily.
"That was good."
"Yeah, it was." He agreed, still holding her to him by the waist. She rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes to enjoy the moment fully, as she was gently caressing the nape of his neck.
"I'm really gonna have to go though. Willow said her parents wouldn't be home before 12.30 'cause they had a dinner with friends or whatever, but she said I'd better come over before they come back." Buffy told him, her voice slightly muffled by his shoulder.
"Why?" He was fingering the hem of her tank top, trying not to forget about his sister's warning not to do anything more than kissing. He had promised her not to go too far with Buffy, but now he realized just how much it was hard to respect his word. She was sitting on his lap, straddling him and nuzzling his neck, and he couldn't stop himself from wanting to rip off her clothes and make love to her right here, right now.
"Cause if they see me coming over in the middle of the night, they'll ask questions, and tell my mom."
He was still perplexed. "And you're not allowed to go to your friend's in the middle of the night after a date?"
She was surprised by his disbelief and looked at him. "Duh! I can't even imagine how long I'd be grounded! How would your mother react if she found out her child was out in the middle of the night?" She asked, raising her eyebrows, forgetting for a moment about his situation.
"Well, it's not like I've got a way to find out." He replied calmly, not showing the hurt her question had caused him.
And now, she remembered. "Oh my god, Angel, I'm so sorry. I forgot...God, I'm so stupid. Sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up." She smiled apologetically at him and stroke his cheek sweetly.
"It's ok, it's not your fault." He whispered, casting his eyes on the floor.
"I'm really sorry, I'll never bring that up ever again."
He looked up at her, tracing the outlines of her lips with his thumb. "Don't worry about it."
"But you're upset."
He sighed and kissed her sweetly. "It's just hard here. In Sunnydale. Back in New York and Los Angeles everybody knew who I was...I had friends."
"You have friends here." She disagreed, kissing his temple. He gave her that half-smile that made her knees weak.
"I guess, but it's really not the same. Your friends are nice, and everything, but they're not the kind of persons I used to hang with."
"Why?"
"If you meet my friends, you'll understand." He replied as he was caressing her hair soothingly. She caught his wrist and looked at his watch.
"11.45! Damn! Ugh, I have to go." She told him with a deep sigh of disappointment.
"Well, you don't have to. Why don't you just stay with me for the night? Sleep here." He suggested hopefully.
*Okay...Now I'm scared. What the HELL did he mean by that? Sleep here, sleep sleep or sleep here as in sleep with me as in sex? Oh god, it was going so great, and I just screwed up everything when I mentioned his mom and now he's hurt and he'll think I want to stay away from him and...Oh my god! What if he expects me to have sex with him because it would make him feel better and I would...Oh look at that, I'm babbling in my own head, I'm going insane!*
As Buffy had been silent for quite a long time and was just staring at him with wide eyes, Angel realized what she might have thought. "Stay with me as in sleep, as in you in the bed and me on the couch." He clarified, although he would have preferred the other meaning of sleeping.
She smiled at him sheepishly. "Sorry, I was just...whatever." she started blushing from the embarrassment, and he couldn't help but grin at that.
*She's so cute.* "What do you say?"
"Sorry, I'd like to stay, but I should go to Willow's. I don't wanna...you know...go too fast."
"Too fast? Buffy, I was just asking you to stay over for the night to...talk. I wasn't implying we'd have sex. I never thought you'd even want on the first date." He explained, a little annoyed. After Julie, his first and almost only serious girlfriend, Angel had never frequented innocent sweet girls like Buffy, the girls he had been with had been all in it for sex, not that he complained. He was truly making efforts with Buffy, not giving in to his desires, listening to her. He really cared a lot for her feelings, even more than he had for Julie...and that meant something. So he was a little upset that she could think he wanted her to stay only to sleep with her.
She smiled inwardly. *He's been thinking about sleeping with me. I can't believe he thought about being with me that way...well, I guess it's normal for a guy, but he's so sweet to admit it and assure me he didn't expect it to happen.* "I know, and I didn't mean to say that you did anything wrong. I'm so glad about tonight, it was the best date ever. I care so much about you and...I can't help being scared."
"I don't understand, what scares you? Me?" He asked anxiously. She smiled reassuringly at him and kissed him sweetly.
"YOU don't scare me, but you're older, you have a totally different life... I don't really know you." She admitted, biting her bottom lip.
"We'll go slow." He promised her, and they sealed their decision with a sweet long kiss.
*****
"Will you be there tomorrow? You know...come over at your sister's?" Buffy whispered so that she wouldn't wake up the neighbors. Angel was holding her tightly against his body, and she had her arms encircled around his waist. They were standing in front of the door of Willow's bedroom balcony, saying their good-byes for the night.
"I don't know. I don't wanna intrude." He whispered back, pressing his forehead against hers.
"Angel, you're not going to intrude on your own sister, your friends and your girlfriend." She assured him.
He was surprised by the way she mentioned herself, as his girlfriend. He should be upset about it, because he did swore he'd never commit himself to a girl that way ever again, but it somehow excited him that Buffy was his girlfriend. Key word: HIS. "girlfriend." He repeated after a moment.
Buffy looked lost. "huh?"
"Y-You said...that you were my girlfriend." He clarified, enjoying the way it sounded.
"Oh." She blushed suddenly and cast her gaze on her feet. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...well I just...figured that since we were on kissing terms...we were...you know...but if you don't want to"
"Buffy" He interrupted her babbling, raising her chin with his fingers. "I'm glad I'm your boyfriend." That made her smile. They kissed for a long time, until they heard a shriek behind Buffy. They pulled apart and Buffy turned around to see Willow standing at her bedroom door, grinning like an idiot.
"Sorry guys, I didn't mean to stop you. Please, go ahead, finish. I'll just wait in my bedroom." She told them excitedly before going back in.
After a beat, Buffy turned back in Angel's arms to face him with a smile. "I guess that's my cue to go."
Angel sighed heavily. "Yeah."
"See you tomorrow...maybe?" She looked at him hopefully.
"Maybe. I've got stuff to do, but if I don't finish too late I'll pass by."
"Okay." Angel bent his head down, pressing his lips softly against hers, and Buffy returned immediately the kiss. She moved even closer to him and placed her hand on the back of his head, slipping her tongue into his mouth and massaging his tongue sensually.
"Good night." She whispered when they pulled away.
"Night baby" He murmured back. After a couple of last kisses, they pulled apart and Angel walked away, climbed on his bike and drove home as Buffy entered Willow's bedroom, preparing herself to tell the whole story of the date over and over again to her best friend. She smiled broadly at the thought.
*****
~~ Angel was walking out of the club, in search of Steven. It had been a while since his best friend had gone out to call his girlfriend, and Angel couldn't help but wonder what in the world took him so long. As he walked from the entrance of the club to the other side of the parking lot where the public phones where, he felt a human presence. Two actually. He turned around, scanning the area, his sight not being too much restrained by the thick darkness of the night, thanks to his vampire senses. That's when he spotted them. They were facing each other, obviously arguing violently, about 200 meters away from where he was standing. He walked towards them, being able to distinguish more and more details of their appearance with each step he took. Angel was feeling somehow anxious, and the knot in his stomach was becoming more and more important as he approached the two persons. Eventually he saw it. In her hand. Fear gripped his heart and he started running like crazy, as fast as he could. He ran...and screamed. FLASH. Blood everywhere. He couldn't see anything. Blood had stained his shirt, his pants, his hands where soaked with blood and blood dripped on the floor. Soon the siren of the ambulance was piercing the silence of night, but Angel didn't hear it. His mind had gone blank. He couldn't have formed a coherent sentence right now even if he had been able to make a sound. His entire body was trembling, and he was clinging at his brother's hand like a lifeline. Suddenly he heard Steven's abnormally angry voice. "It's your fault! You did it! It's all your fault you! I'll never forgive you, you fucking bastard!!" ~~
Angel's eyes shot open, his body sweaty and shaking violently from the still fresh memories of his dream. Tears rolling freely on his cheeks, he curled up in his bed and cried for the rest of the night, begging for forgiveness between sobs.
*********