Title: It Was Always You
Author: Angeleyez
Summary: Future Fic: Rory left for college on bad terms with Jess. Now six years later Rory is happy and successful working as an advice columnist at a newspaper in New York City. Her best friend's sister just got engaged and Rory can't believe who the groom to be is.
Rating: PG: 13
Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah. You want the long version? See chapter one. Here's the reader's digest version: Me poor. Don't own Gilmore Girls. Don't sue.
Wow! Current number of reviews…89. Thank you guys so much! You like me, you really like me! Seriously guys, your reviews are great. They rock my socks! Heh. You know what I found out? Writing a story may be fun but it's also hard. Especially in my case when you get five chapters out in six days (my god were my fingers tired!) and then you try to write the next chapter and you draw a complete blank. I mean don't get me wrong, I have this entire story planned out (well for the most part…) and I knew exactly what I wanted to happen at the engagement party. But every time I tried to write out the conversation I didn't like what I wrote. Ugh, well I hope you like the chapter. I promise the next one will be better. Now, on with the story!
"I hate parties," Rory whined.
"No, you like parties. You just don't like this one," Lane said turning to her friend.
"Parties are stupid."
"You need to get a better attitude. Hank is going to be back over here in a minute and if you keep us this way he may run away screaming. We wouldn't want that now would we?" Lane asked.
"I may run away screaming if they play one more love song."
"You are not running away. You are going to stay here and smile and make Jess think that you're not jealous of-"
"I'm not jealous!"
"Oh, sweetie, of course your not," Lane said patting Rory on the shoulder.
"I'm warning you, I am in a very violent mood."
"Maybe we should keep the sharp objects away from you," Lane said pulling Rory away from their table.
"Hey Lane!" Dave said walking into the room. "Sorry I'm late."
"Don't worry about it. You didn't miss much," Lane said before kissing him.
Rory looked at them. Why must she be subjected to this? When they were done, Dave said hello to Rory before heading off to the dance floor with Lane.
Rory was left alone. She looked over to the exit. Now was her chance…
"I'm back," Hank said.
"So you are," Rory said forcing a smile. It's not that she didn't like Hank. It was just that there was someone else she would rather be with.
"Do you wanna dance?" Hank asked grinning.
Well, a dance wouldn't be so bad. It would be better than just standing around. "With a smile like that how can I resist?" Rory took his open hand and then went out to the floor. Another slow song was starting up and they began to dance.
Rory felt content dancing with him. She could close her eyes and just concentrate on their movement instead of someone else. Instead of Jess.
"You having a good time tonight?" Hank asked.
"Uh-huh." Rory said.
"Are you enjoying my company?"
"Very much so. And I am amazed. We have been dancing for a couple of minutes now and you have yet to try to touch my butt."
"Me, touch your butt? Why I would never do such a thing without your permission."
"Sure you wouldn't."
"You don't sound like you believe me."
"That's because I don't."
"I am much more honorable than you think I am."
"Whatever you say." Rory smiled. Then a few second later, "Hank!"
"My hand slipped!"
Rory laughed. "That's an awful excuse."
"If you give me another minute I can come up with a better one."
"Okay, I'll wait."
Hank was silent. Then, "Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?"
"Couldn't come up with an excuse, huh?"
"I'm not that quick on my feet."
"I see. And yes you have told me. About four times."
"You're keeping track?"
"I'm keeping a tally. But hey, a girl can never hear she is beautiful enough times."
"You sound like Angela."
"Really?" Not exactly who Rory was going for.
The song came to an end and Hank pulled away. "Would you mind if I danced with Angela for the next song? I promised her one."
Rory actually wanted to keep dancing with him. He kept her mind off of things. But she wasn't going to say no. "Of course not. Go on ahead." Maybe now she could make her getaway. Lane was busy dancing with Dave. She wouldn't stop her.
"Thanks, Ror." Hank headed over to where Angela and Jess were dancing to cut in. Rory began to walk off the dance floor.
"Rory." She felt a zap of electricity. Just the sound of his voice could do that to her.
She turned around. "Yeah?"
"Would you like to dance?"
Talk about the worst idea ever. "Uh, no thanks. I'm just going to go sit down." And then run out of here when you're not looking.
"Please. Hank wanted me to."
"What, does he think I can't survive one song alone?"
"Ror, come on. It's just a dance," Jess said.
She sighed. She was definitely going to regret this. She followed him out onto the dance floor and put her arms around his neck. He put his hands on her lower back and they began to dance.
This was nice. Very nice. The two of them dancing… together. As it should be.
The smell of his cologne combined with the feel of touch was making her feel lightheaded. And all of her old feelings for him were overwhelming her. She really needed to get out of there. But her body wouldn't listen. This was just too perfect. He was perfect.
"I didn't know you could dance," Rory said.
"You never asked."
"You have any other hidden talents?"
"I'm great at ballet."
Rory smiled. "Well that was a disturbing mental image. I'm going to hope you're joking and not mention the subject again"
"I look really great in tights."
"Please, stop."
"Stopping."
This is nice, Rory thought. While they weren't exactly having a normal conversation they weren't fighting for once. And the way she felt in his arms… Okay, she really had to stop. Just keep the conversation light and concentrate on something else.
"I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye," Jess whispered into her ear.
Things were going great. Why did he have to bring this up? "This isn't the time."
"I think it is the time. I don't want there to be tension between us. I'm going to run into you from time to time. I don't want things to be awkward."
Rory sighed. Fine. He wanted to talk about the past then they would. "Why did you just up and leave like that? One day you were there and the next…"
"I was upset about what happened between us. Or should I say what didn't happen."
"So you just left?"
"Nothing was keeping me there."
"Oh… right." Rory felt disappointed.
"So, does Dean know about Hank?"
"What?"
"Well, I just figured that you two never broke up. You couldn't manage to do it even after you promised me, so…"
"Jess, don't start. I don't want to get in another fight."
"Fine." He was silent for a second. "But really, what happened between you two?"
"You really want to know?"
"That's why I asked."
"He broke up with me at graduation."
"You're kidding."
"Nope. He told me that it was obvious that I didn't love him as much as he loved me and that he didn't want to pretend anymore."
"Wow."
"He said the long-distance relationship thing would never work. He was right."
"Boston isn't that far from Stars Hollow."
"It was far enough. I didn't love him enough to make it work."
"So, this all happened at graduation?"
"Yeah, after it happened I actually…" Rory stopped for a second. Should she go on? Might as well. "I went looking for you. I thought maybe you had come with Luke. Then Luke told me that you had left town."
"What would have happened if I hadn't gone?"
"What do you mean?"
"If you had found me what would have happened?"
Rory didn't know what to say. Was she just supposed to tell him the truth? That she was planning on throwing her arms around him and kissing him? That she wanted to tell him that she was in love with him?
"I would have told you how I really felt."
At that point Jess moved his head back to look at her. She couldn't read the expression on his face. Then the song began to end. He opened his mouth to speak. "I'm going to spin you."
Well of all the things he could have said, she was not expecting that. Didn't he hear what she said? Didn't he care?
Jess spun Rory out and then back in and brought her into a dip. Rory looked up into his face and for a second she actually thought he was going to kiss her. There was a look in his eyes…
But then suddenly she was standing upright and Jess was walking away from her.
"What was that?" Rory muttered.
"I'm going to spin you?" Lane asked.
Rory sighed. "That's what he said."
It had been about an hour since Rory and Lane had gotten home. After her dance with Jess, Rory had talked with Hank for a couple of minutes and then faked a headache and taken a taxi home. Lane had left not too long after that. Now they were both hanging out on the couch and Rory had told Lane about her dance with Jess.
"Hmm. I wonder if maybe that had a double meaning," Lane said.
"Double meaning? He actually did spin me."
Lane thought for a second. "Maybe you surprised him. Maybe he didn't expect you to actually answer him."
"You think?"
"Well let me give you a theory. Here's Jess walking around, la la la la-"
Rory interrupted, "La la la?"
"Just listen."
"Sorry."
"Okay where was I? Oh right. So here is Jess all la la la la la with his fiancée. And then suddenly, BAM! You enter his life again and everything gets complicated. He doesn't know what to think and he obviously still has feelings for you."
"No he does not-"
"Yes, he does. When you said that you wanted to tell him how you really felt you probably scared him. He didn't know what to think or say."
"But I meant how I really felt six years ago."
"Okay so you felt for him six years ago. How do you feel today? Right now?" Lane asked.
"I don't feel…anything toward him." Lane stared at her. "And even if I did, they're just leftover feelings. Doesn't mean anything."
"Ror, I think you have had these feelings ever since Jess left. You just covered them up. Forgot that they were there and Jess wasn't around to remind you that they were."
"No, you're wrong. I mean, I have dated. I have dated a lot."
"Yeah, a lot. But these relationships never lasted that long."
"So…?"
"So maybe you never committed because you were waiting for somebody else."
"Waiting?"
"For Jess."
"No. No, you don't know what you're talking about. You are so totally wrong." Rory got off the couch. "Completely wrong."
"Then why did you feel so weird at the party?"
Rory didn't answer her. Instead she began walking to her room. "Goodnight, Lane."
She closed her door and climbed into bed. Now in the darkness of her room, without Lane there giving her wild theories, Rory could think for herself.
Sure her relationships had never lasted that long, but she was only twenty-four. She was not ready to settle down and get married. Or move in with anyone. Or say those three little words. Wow, her relationships really hadn't been very meaningful.
Had she been waiting for Jess? The thought had crossed her mind once before. Ugh, how pathetic was she? She needed to get over him, move on with her life.
How long was she going to wait for him? He was getting married soon.
She needed to stop dwelling on this. She needed sleep. Yawning she turned onto her side and closed her eyes. Slowly she drifted off and began to dream of brown eyes and slow dances. And of almost kisses.
A/N: This chapter took me forever to write! But it is now done thanks in part to the weather. It is snowing outside and school was cancelled *squeals with delight* And great news…I think my writing ability is back. Heh. I had trouble with writing and what I wanted to do next but now it's all better. I have part of the next chapter written and the rest of the story planned out. Hooray! Anyways, I hope you liked the chapter. I swear the next one will be better! Review, review and tell me what you think. *grin*