Title: Devastating Past
Author: Valerie
E-mail: funbreath@msn.com
Disclaimer: they don't belong to me
Summary: AU Angel is new at Sunnydale High. He meets Buffy and the gang. They think he's just a regular kid. Not likely.
Timeline: during season 2 of BTVS...sorta. Let's just say that Buffy and the gang are in their Junior year in Sunnydale High.
Spoilers: as far as alternate universe goes...almost nothing. References on demons from BTVS and Angel from time to time, but that's about it
Rating: R
Distribution: You can take it but ask me first please.
Feedback: That's a big big big yes!!!!! It's my first fic, so please?
*********
17.
~FLASHBACK~ Last June...
"Angel dude, we were all waiting for this day with impatience. Especially the ladies." Penn told his friend as he took a sip of his beer.
"You know, we were all stunned you stayed with that chick for so long." Gunn added with a smirk.
"What can I say...she's great in bed for one thing." Angel admitted, taking the bottle of beer Penn handled him. Everyone around the table whistled and laughed. "And well, at first it was fun. It was a challenge. Most popular girl at school, head cheerleader. And...you all know I like diversity. She was different."
Steven smacked him on the head lightly. "Oh cut it off bro! You fell for that slut, so what? Everybody makes mistakes." Angel was about to reply, but he met his best friend's gaze and rolled his eyes. Steven was a year younger than him, but he had always been the one who understood Angel the best.
"Fine! You won. I had it bad for that fucking chick. That doesn't mean I'm not back to my former self!" He stated seriously. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna enjoy the night. Where's Rachel?"
"Nope, Rachel is done with one-night stands ever since she started dating Pete." Carrie, Penn's girlfriend, informed her friend.
"Fuck. It had been great last time with her. How about Vanessa?" Angel asked Carrie.
She smirked at him. "She's out of town for a couple of days."
Angel sighed deeply and sat back. "Man, I'm too tired to find a new girl tonight."
"Angel, you do realize that you screwed half the goddamn chicks in the neighborhood and that the other half is begging you to get into your fucking bed, don't you?" Penn pointed out.
"Yeah, but I just wanna have fun with a friend tonight. By the way, why is it so empty here tonight? Where are the others?"
"You told Jeremy to take a group with him and check the cemeteries for you since you were at the game." Gunn reminded his friend.
"And Jeremy is kinda paranoid these days. He took a lot of back-up. Kris went with them, too." Steven added.
"Oh yeah. Shoot, am I actually gonna have to hit on girls tonight? So not in the mood..." Angel mumbled as he looked around. There were many girls dancing, and he had slept with quite a lot of them, but he wasn't close friend with any of them. Sighing deeply, he leaned on the table. That's when he realized who was sitting next to him, acting as if she had not heard the conversation. "Am I gonna have to seduce you Jess?" He asked his friend Jessica, who grinned at him.
"Maybe" She replied, tracing the lines of Angel's lips with her pointing finger. "Maybe not. Who would say no to a full night of mind numbing sex with the boss?"
"Wanna dance?" Angel asked with a grin, and she nodded, planting a kiss on his lips.
The whole gang of Los Angeles was reunited in the club where they went all the time. It was inside their neighborhood, so they knew everyone around that came here and everyone knew they were the leaders of the city. And they also knew Angel was the boss around here. Tonight, they were celebrating Angel and Steven's last basketball game of the season. Thanks to the 2 of them, the Hemery High basketball team had won the most important game of the year. Since the basketball game and the football game had been scheduled by some moron on the same evening, the cheerleading team had been split in two. Angel had expected to see his girlfriend among the ones who would cheer his team, and when he asked her why she had decided to join the other team, she simply said his team sucked and that they would lose. She'd rather cheer the football players who would of course win. Angel had been hurt by her words and had dumped her, understanding for the first time what all of his friends meant when they wouldn't say her name, and would only say the 'cold-hearted bitch". The basketball players had won, the football players had lamely lost. It was indeed a good reason to celebrate.
A few hours of dancing/mating with Jessica later, Angel came back to his friends' table. He found his best friend missing. "Where's Steven?"
"He wanted to call his girlfriend." Gunn informed him.
Angel was confused "Wasn't she supposed to be here tonight?"
"She was, but her parents grounded her when they found out her boyfriend's best friend was the infamous Angel Connelly." Penn explained with a grin. Steven had been dating Tess for 2 months now, and she had joined their group, becoming close friend with all of them. Her mother was one of Angel's teacher at Hemery, and to say she loathed the boy would be an understatement. She wasn't supposed to find out that her daughter was one of his best friends.
"How long has he been gone?" Angel asked finally.
"He was already gone when I came back to take a drink." Jessica pointed out. "And that was 20 minutes ago."
"I'll go check on him." Angel informed the others and took off, just as a slow song started.
//And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest thing to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now//
Angel walked out of the club, noticing how loud the music actually was, he could still hear clearly the song.
//And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight//
Suddenly, he stopped walking, as he felt two presences. He looked around and recognized his ex girlfriend and his best friend. Frowning, he walked towards them. *What the hell can they be talking about?* He realized they were arguing, Darla yelling at Steven while he remained calm. Angel walked faster, and his eyes widened when he spotted the gun Darla was holding. And she was pointing it towards Steven's chest. "Darla, no!" He shouted to make her look at him, and stop threatening the guy he saw as his brother. Angel ran as fast as he could...and his heart skipped a beat when he heard the shot. He screamed Steven's name as he threw himself on his knees next to his body, as Darla ran away. His hands shaking madly, he reached out for Steven's cell phone and dialed 911. When the call was over, he threw the phone away and pressed his hands on the bullet wound, which was between Steven's heart and his stomach. "It's ok. I-It's gonna b-be ok."
"A-Angel" Steven gasped out, clutching to his friend's hand to resist to the pain.
"Don't talk...just hold on for a few minutes, the ambulance's coming." Angel murmured, trying to stop the bleeding with his hands. There was blood everywhere. Steven's shirt and his own were soaked with Steven's blood.
"I can't breathe...I'm not gonna make it"
"Don't say that!" Angel half-shouted, tears in his eyes. "You're NOT going to die, I'm not gonna let that happen, I swear!"
"It's too painful. I can't" He coughed blood, which leaked on his cheeks. "A-A-Angel!" His entire body was shaking, as was Angel's, and he looked into Angel's panicking eyes.
"Steven, stay with me! Stay with me!" Angel pleaded his dying friend. "Please, the ambulance's gonna be here in a minute, please, please, hang on."
Steven shook his head no slowly, not breaking eye contact. "Angel...you're more than my best friend. You're my brother. Always remember that, please."
"I don't wanna hear that crap! You're not gonna die!" Angel snapped, trying to change position so that he could stop the bleeding more easily.
"Please stop it." Steven coughed again, his throat burning. "Listen to me." Reluctantly, Angel raised his eyes and looked at his friend. "Promise me something." Angel nodded. "Tell Tess she was the best...that I loved her. And also Lizzie and my parents...and Kristin and..." He suddenly coughed harshly. "Oh god!" He realized that he didn't have time left, he couldn't say all he wanted to say. Tears rolled on his cheeks, and he gripped Angel's hand. "Tell them all I love them...I'll miss them."
"Steven what am I gonna do without you? I can't...you can't die. It's not fair." Angel whispered.
"I-I-I...I love you Angel." Steven gasped out. His breathing was harsh and painful.
"I love you" Angel whispered back, as his friend kept his eyes shut tightly. All of a sudden, Steven's body stopped shaking, and his grip on Angel's hand loosened. "No. No. No, no, no, no...Steven! No!" Angel put his hands on his shoulders and shook him a little, trying to make him move or make a sound, anything that would prove what he knew was true...wasn't true. As he realized his brother was gone, Angel burst into tears, holding Steven's body close. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
In the dead silence of the night, in the middle of the parking lot, Angel could hear clearly the lyrics of the song coming from the club. Someone must have been particularly fond of that song to repeat it all over again.
//And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest thing to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am//
Soon the siren of the ambulance could be heard louder and louder, covering Angel's desperate sobs.
*****
Buffy had been watching Angel's restless body for about 10 minutes that night. After Angel had calmed down, they had gotten back to the others and watched an other movie before they went to sleep. Kristin and Buffy had insisted that Angel slept here, seeing that he was wounded. Kristin had also insisted that she would sleep in Diane and Frank's room, so that Angel wouldn't have to sleep on the floor. So Angel took his sister's bed and Buffy the other one. Somewhere in the middle of the night, Buffy had been woken up by Angel's whimpers. She didn't know if it would be a good thing to wake him up. Maybe he was simply restless in his sleep, and it wasn't a big deal. But when he started calling out for Steven, she got out of bed and sat next to him, caressing his forehead in an attempt to calm him down. It didn't work, he was more and more agitated. Then tears started rolling on his cheeks, and Buffy decided to wake him up. She shook softly his shoulders, whispering his name. "Angel, wake up. Come on, wake up." After a moment, his eyes shot open, and he sat up quickly, his breathing harsh and his head spinning.
"Steven?" He murmured softly, not sure where he was. A minute ago he had been reliving the events in his sleep, as he had so many other nights. He looked around, confused, and his gaze fell on Buffy, who was sitting next to him, her face full of worry. Then reality hit him and he led his head on Buffy's lap, as her arms came around him. He cried himself to sleep as she gently caressed his arms, and his face, whispering soothing words in his ear.
*********
Author: Valerie
E-mail: funbreath@msn.com
Disclaimer: they don't belong to me
Summary: AU Angel is new at Sunnydale High. He meets Buffy and the gang. They think he's just a regular kid. Not likely.
Timeline: during season 2 of BTVS...sorta. Let's just say that Buffy and the gang are in their Junior year in Sunnydale High.
Spoilers: as far as alternate universe goes...almost nothing. References on demons from BTVS and Angel from time to time, but that's about it
Rating: R
Distribution: You can take it but ask me first please.
Feedback: That's a big big big yes!!!!! It's my first fic, so please?
*********
17.
~FLASHBACK~ Last June...
"Angel dude, we were all waiting for this day with impatience. Especially the ladies." Penn told his friend as he took a sip of his beer.
"You know, we were all stunned you stayed with that chick for so long." Gunn added with a smirk.
"What can I say...she's great in bed for one thing." Angel admitted, taking the bottle of beer Penn handled him. Everyone around the table whistled and laughed. "And well, at first it was fun. It was a challenge. Most popular girl at school, head cheerleader. And...you all know I like diversity. She was different."
Steven smacked him on the head lightly. "Oh cut it off bro! You fell for that slut, so what? Everybody makes mistakes." Angel was about to reply, but he met his best friend's gaze and rolled his eyes. Steven was a year younger than him, but he had always been the one who understood Angel the best.
"Fine! You won. I had it bad for that fucking chick. That doesn't mean I'm not back to my former self!" He stated seriously. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna enjoy the night. Where's Rachel?"
"Nope, Rachel is done with one-night stands ever since she started dating Pete." Carrie, Penn's girlfriend, informed her friend.
"Fuck. It had been great last time with her. How about Vanessa?" Angel asked Carrie.
She smirked at him. "She's out of town for a couple of days."
Angel sighed deeply and sat back. "Man, I'm too tired to find a new girl tonight."
"Angel, you do realize that you screwed half the goddamn chicks in the neighborhood and that the other half is begging you to get into your fucking bed, don't you?" Penn pointed out.
"Yeah, but I just wanna have fun with a friend tonight. By the way, why is it so empty here tonight? Where are the others?"
"You told Jeremy to take a group with him and check the cemeteries for you since you were at the game." Gunn reminded his friend.
"And Jeremy is kinda paranoid these days. He took a lot of back-up. Kris went with them, too." Steven added.
"Oh yeah. Shoot, am I actually gonna have to hit on girls tonight? So not in the mood..." Angel mumbled as he looked around. There were many girls dancing, and he had slept with quite a lot of them, but he wasn't close friend with any of them. Sighing deeply, he leaned on the table. That's when he realized who was sitting next to him, acting as if she had not heard the conversation. "Am I gonna have to seduce you Jess?" He asked his friend Jessica, who grinned at him.
"Maybe" She replied, tracing the lines of Angel's lips with her pointing finger. "Maybe not. Who would say no to a full night of mind numbing sex with the boss?"
"Wanna dance?" Angel asked with a grin, and she nodded, planting a kiss on his lips.
The whole gang of Los Angeles was reunited in the club where they went all the time. It was inside their neighborhood, so they knew everyone around that came here and everyone knew they were the leaders of the city. And they also knew Angel was the boss around here. Tonight, they were celebrating Angel and Steven's last basketball game of the season. Thanks to the 2 of them, the Hemery High basketball team had won the most important game of the year. Since the basketball game and the football game had been scheduled by some moron on the same evening, the cheerleading team had been split in two. Angel had expected to see his girlfriend among the ones who would cheer his team, and when he asked her why she had decided to join the other team, she simply said his team sucked and that they would lose. She'd rather cheer the football players who would of course win. Angel had been hurt by her words and had dumped her, understanding for the first time what all of his friends meant when they wouldn't say her name, and would only say the 'cold-hearted bitch". The basketball players had won, the football players had lamely lost. It was indeed a good reason to celebrate.
A few hours of dancing/mating with Jessica later, Angel came back to his friends' table. He found his best friend missing. "Where's Steven?"
"He wanted to call his girlfriend." Gunn informed him.
Angel was confused "Wasn't she supposed to be here tonight?"
"She was, but her parents grounded her when they found out her boyfriend's best friend was the infamous Angel Connelly." Penn explained with a grin. Steven had been dating Tess for 2 months now, and she had joined their group, becoming close friend with all of them. Her mother was one of Angel's teacher at Hemery, and to say she loathed the boy would be an understatement. She wasn't supposed to find out that her daughter was one of his best friends.
"How long has he been gone?" Angel asked finally.
"He was already gone when I came back to take a drink." Jessica pointed out. "And that was 20 minutes ago."
"I'll go check on him." Angel informed the others and took off, just as a slow song started.
//And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest thing to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now//
Angel walked out of the club, noticing how loud the music actually was, he could still hear clearly the song.
//And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight//
Suddenly, he stopped walking, as he felt two presences. He looked around and recognized his ex girlfriend and his best friend. Frowning, he walked towards them. *What the hell can they be talking about?* He realized they were arguing, Darla yelling at Steven while he remained calm. Angel walked faster, and his eyes widened when he spotted the gun Darla was holding. And she was pointing it towards Steven's chest. "Darla, no!" He shouted to make her look at him, and stop threatening the guy he saw as his brother. Angel ran as fast as he could...and his heart skipped a beat when he heard the shot. He screamed Steven's name as he threw himself on his knees next to his body, as Darla ran away. His hands shaking madly, he reached out for Steven's cell phone and dialed 911. When the call was over, he threw the phone away and pressed his hands on the bullet wound, which was between Steven's heart and his stomach. "It's ok. I-It's gonna b-be ok."
"A-Angel" Steven gasped out, clutching to his friend's hand to resist to the pain.
"Don't talk...just hold on for a few minutes, the ambulance's coming." Angel murmured, trying to stop the bleeding with his hands. There was blood everywhere. Steven's shirt and his own were soaked with Steven's blood.
"I can't breathe...I'm not gonna make it"
"Don't say that!" Angel half-shouted, tears in his eyes. "You're NOT going to die, I'm not gonna let that happen, I swear!"
"It's too painful. I can't" He coughed blood, which leaked on his cheeks. "A-A-Angel!" His entire body was shaking, as was Angel's, and he looked into Angel's panicking eyes.
"Steven, stay with me! Stay with me!" Angel pleaded his dying friend. "Please, the ambulance's gonna be here in a minute, please, please, hang on."
Steven shook his head no slowly, not breaking eye contact. "Angel...you're more than my best friend. You're my brother. Always remember that, please."
"I don't wanna hear that crap! You're not gonna die!" Angel snapped, trying to change position so that he could stop the bleeding more easily.
"Please stop it." Steven coughed again, his throat burning. "Listen to me." Reluctantly, Angel raised his eyes and looked at his friend. "Promise me something." Angel nodded. "Tell Tess she was the best...that I loved her. And also Lizzie and my parents...and Kristin and..." He suddenly coughed harshly. "Oh god!" He realized that he didn't have time left, he couldn't say all he wanted to say. Tears rolled on his cheeks, and he gripped Angel's hand. "Tell them all I love them...I'll miss them."
"Steven what am I gonna do without you? I can't...you can't die. It's not fair." Angel whispered.
"I-I-I...I love you Angel." Steven gasped out. His breathing was harsh and painful.
"I love you" Angel whispered back, as his friend kept his eyes shut tightly. All of a sudden, Steven's body stopped shaking, and his grip on Angel's hand loosened. "No. No. No, no, no, no...Steven! No!" Angel put his hands on his shoulders and shook him a little, trying to make him move or make a sound, anything that would prove what he knew was true...wasn't true. As he realized his brother was gone, Angel burst into tears, holding Steven's body close. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
In the dead silence of the night, in the middle of the parking lot, Angel could hear clearly the lyrics of the song coming from the club. Someone must have been particularly fond of that song to repeat it all over again.
//And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest thing to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am//
Soon the siren of the ambulance could be heard louder and louder, covering Angel's desperate sobs.
*****
Buffy had been watching Angel's restless body for about 10 minutes that night. After Angel had calmed down, they had gotten back to the others and watched an other movie before they went to sleep. Kristin and Buffy had insisted that Angel slept here, seeing that he was wounded. Kristin had also insisted that she would sleep in Diane and Frank's room, so that Angel wouldn't have to sleep on the floor. So Angel took his sister's bed and Buffy the other one. Somewhere in the middle of the night, Buffy had been woken up by Angel's whimpers. She didn't know if it would be a good thing to wake him up. Maybe he was simply restless in his sleep, and it wasn't a big deal. But when he started calling out for Steven, she got out of bed and sat next to him, caressing his forehead in an attempt to calm him down. It didn't work, he was more and more agitated. Then tears started rolling on his cheeks, and Buffy decided to wake him up. She shook softly his shoulders, whispering his name. "Angel, wake up. Come on, wake up." After a moment, his eyes shot open, and he sat up quickly, his breathing harsh and his head spinning.
"Steven?" He murmured softly, not sure where he was. A minute ago he had been reliving the events in his sleep, as he had so many other nights. He looked around, confused, and his gaze fell on Buffy, who was sitting next to him, her face full of worry. Then reality hit him and he led his head on Buffy's lap, as her arms came around him. He cried himself to sleep as she gently caressed his arms, and his face, whispering soothing words in his ear.
*********