Title: Devastating Past
Author: Valerie
E-mail: funbreath@msn.com
Disclaimer: they don't belong to me
Summary: AU Angel is new at Sunnydale High. He meets Buffy and the gang. They think he's just a regular kid. Not likely.
Timeline: during season 2 of BTVS...sorta. Let's just say that Buffy and the gang are in their Junior year in Sunnydale High.
Spoilers: as far as alternate universe goes...almost nothing. References on demons from BTVS and Angel from time to time, but that's about it
Rating: R
Distribution: You can take it but ask me first please.
Feedback: That's a big big big yes!!!!! It's my first fic, so please?
The song is "The Space Between" by Dave Matthews Band
*********
19.
"Hey, Mr..." *Shit! What's his name again?* "Mr. Gives?" *Or maybe it's Geels...whatever!* "Sir?" Angel called again as he walked further inside the library. There was no one, though.*Must be doing the nasty with his girlfriend.* Angel spotted quickly Buffy's bag on the floor next to the table and picked it up. He looked around a moment, thinking how strange this school library was. It had a very dense and powerful atmosphere. Which made him a little uneasy. Subconsciously, he felt drawn to this place. Well, not exactly himself, more his vampire part. If there was one place where he would easily slip into game face without doing it and noticing it, it was this room. *Well, Skip did say that I'd find this town interesting. Looks like he's right again.* When he looked over the cage where students had to return the books, where stood a closet *probably full of books and stuff*, Angel spotted something laying on the desk. Frowning, he walked over the cage and frown even more when he realized he had guessed right. *What the fuck is my favorite stake doing on the desk of Sunnydale High's librarian??* Confused, he picked his birthday present and tucked it in the waistband of his pants. *Looks like there's more to good old Geeves than he lets people see. Gonna have to keep an eye on him.*
*****
"Why on earth would you date someone like him?" Giles asked Buffy, shaking his head.
"Because he's sweet, gentle, trustable, good looking, good kisser! Do I need to tell more?" Buffy snapped at him, starting to get angry.
"Buffy, this boy is older than you, he has a horrible school record,"
"So have I" She reminded him.
"He is undisciplined, disrespectful, older"
"You already said older." She retorted as she crossed her arms in front of her chest defensively.
"Fine. That's not the point. He's not good for you."
"Why the hell not?"
"First of all, you're the slayer, he's a normal boy, and you're not supposed to be dating. Although I won't say anything more about the dating part, because I know you too well. Second of all, he'll have a bad influence on you. You can't take the liberty of getting into troubles at school and in your life. Both as a slayer and as student."
"You don't know what you're talking about, Giles. You're only saying that stuff to me because you're mad that Angel teased you like that this afternoon. He was just having fun." She told her watcher calmly, hoping he'd just leave it there.
After a moment of thinking, Giles shook his head and sighed. "Alright, you can date him. But make sure he doesn't know about your secret identity. And...try to keep him from teasing again." He added that last part in a murmur, but Buffy heard him perfectly and grinned.
"So my dear watcher, did you find anything about the names written on the guy's stake?"
"Erm...no, I believe there is no group of people in Sunnydale with those names, but I can be wrong...those can be nicknames. But I think it can be useful to you during patrol. It has been made with extreme care, you have a very good grip of it due to its form, and" He stopped his sentence when he realized the stake wasn't where he had put it. He looked around the desk, the closet with all the weapons, but he couldn't find it. *Maybe I brought it home...* "Anyway Buffy, I think that" He turned around and stopped his sentence again when he saw that his slayer was no longer paying attention to what he was saying. Maybe it was because of the tall dark handsome boy who had his lips glued to hers. Giles had lost her for the night.
*****
"Give me your jacket." Angel told Buffy when he closed the door of his apartment behind them. She took off the black jacket she had been wearing for their date and handed it to him. He put it on a coat hanger with his and joined her in the living room. He walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder after placing a kiss behind her ear. "Thank you." He murmured softly.
"What for?"
"For the date."
She chuckled a little "YOU're the one who paid for the restaurant" She pointed out, intertwining her fingers with his on her stomach.
"I meant thank you for being there. I haven't had fun like that for a long time." He clarified with a smile.
"So...what can we do now?" She asked, relaxing against his chest.
"I want to make love to you."... ...*Oh yeah, I'm sure she wouldn't have freaked if I had actually told her that!* "Whatever you want" He answered, a pang in his heart as he said it. *God, I wish I had told her the first one...I want her so much, I'm not gotta make it through the rest of the evening.*
Suddenly, she turned over and grinned devilishly at him. "I know what we can talk about. Come on."
As Buffy was going over the couch, Angel turned towards his stereo and started it, as he remembered Buffy had asked him for music in the background the last time she was in his apartment.
// You cannot quit me so quickly
Is no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love//
She made him sit, and she sat on his lap, resting her back on the arm of the couch.
// The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep us safe from the pain But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?'
Waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted game we play//
"What do you wanna talk about?"
"I've got a question for you." He nodded, showing her that he would listen to whatever she wanted to say. "Why Angel?"
He looked confused for a moment. "Why what?"
//We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep us safe from the pain//
"I mean, why are you called Angel? No offense, I love it, but it's a weird name...you know...for a guy and all." She asked, slightly blushing. He groaned, and that made her blush even more.
"It's kinda complicated. It's not my real name."
// Will I hold you again?
Will I hold... Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down//
"What is your real name?"
"William."
She raised her eyebrows, surprised. "Wow...I can't see you as a William. But maybe it's because I'm used to call you Angel."
//The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get tickled
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain//
"The thing is, my great-parents had an argument about my name. My mom's parents are British, and they wanted me to be called William. But my dad's parents are Irish, and they didn't care about the name as long as it was Irish, which is why they wanted me to be called Liam. Which is the Gaelic for William."
// Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here
Love is all we need here
The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The Space Between...//
"I guess the English won the argument, huh?"
"Yeah."
"And why are you Angel, now?"
"It's a nickname my mom gave me when I was a baby. From what they told me when I was older, it used to annoy to death dad because he thought it wasn't manly enough for his son. But mom used it so often that I never answered to William, only to Angel." He smiled at the memory of his parents telling him the story when he was 8 years old after he came back from school crying because a boy had said his name was girly so he was a girl.
"It's cute."
"Gave me lots of problems though. When I was 11 I asked my parents if I could be called William now, because I was sick of people thinking I was a girl."
"And what made you go back to Angel?"
"I used William for about a year, but then I met one of my best friends Spike. His real name is William, and at that time everyone called him William, too. We decided to change our names. I came back to Angel since my sister never wanted to use anything else, and Spike...well chose Spike."
"Why that name? Spike is weird."
Angel made a face. "I don't know. I guess it was because of his hair...at the time he had it in spikes...I'm not sure. There are a lot of other gory possibilities we imagined, but I'm not going to tell you." They smiled at each other and kissed sweetly. The passion they had both tried to keep inside was let free, and they both laid down on the couch, with Angel on top, as their tongues dueled in each other's mouth.
*****
Later that evening, Buffy and Angel had been fooling around in the kitchen, and Buffy ended up spilling coffee all over Angel's shirt and pants. After lots of apologies from Buffy, Angel had gone to his bedroom to change, so Buffy had gone back to the living room. She looked around for a moment, then her eyes rested on Angel's desk. Curiosity took the better of her and she opened the drawers. In one of them, she found a sketch pad. She remembered that Angel had told her he could draw and he did it from time to time, when he was bored. She opened the sketch pad and was surprised to see a drawing of Cordelia's face. She went through the pages and saw a few more drawings of Cordelia, some of Willow with Kristin, but most of them were drawings of girls she didn't know, and some of them were very very much nude. Not one of them was of her. Not one. Confused, she looked again in the drawer, but the other sketch pad hadn't been used yet.
"You know baby, the next time someone spills coffee on the other, it'll be me on you, cos guys get to see a lot of more interesting stuff when a girl's shirt is soaked wet." She heard Angel comment with a chuckle from the bathroom. Then he closed the door and came back into the living room, just as Buffy put the pad back in the drawer and closed it. He saw her crouched next to the desk and panicked. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing." She replied a little too quickly.
"Did you look through the drawers?" He asked her. Not that he wanted to accuse her or make her feel guilty...but still.
"No. I didn't." She forced herself to calm down, so that he wouldn't notice that she was lying. Apparently it worked, because he relaxed a little.
"Ok. Sorry baby, it's just...this stuff is really private." *Duh! Stakes and knifes and holy water are so private!!*
"Er...I should go." She told him in a small voice.
"Now? Why?"
"I-I'm tired...and my mom will be home soon from that dinner and...I should go."
"Ok...if that's what you want." He relented, disappointment obvious in his voice. However Buffy didn't do anything to reassure him. She took her jacket and went for the door, just turning...to see Angel with his leather jacket on.
"I'm driving you home."
"No, it's ok, thanks." She murmured, shaking her head.
"That wasn't a question Buffy. There is no way I'm letting you walk back home at 11 at night. Come on." He made it clear that there wasn't place for any argument, so she merely nodded and got out of the apartment, with Angel following close.
Ten minutes later, Angel parked the bike in front of Buffy's house. "Thank you for the ride. I'll see you tomorrow at school." She told him quickly as she climbed out of the bike. She smiled a little at him and started walking to her front door.
"Hey!" He called at her, raising his eyebrows, surprised. "Don't I get a kiss or something?"
"I'm tired." She turned over for a second and then walked again towards her house.
"Baby, what's wrong?" He spoke louder as she walked away.
"Nothing, I'm just tired, ok?" She snapped at him, not even turning over. Angel was completely stunned, he couldn't make a sound. When he got his voice back a second later, Buffy was already opening her front door.
"What's with the brush off?" He asked incredulously.
"Just leave me alone!" She half shouted angrily.
"What did I do?" She didn't answer. "Baby?" She was inside her house and without looking back at him she closed the door.
*********
Author: Valerie
E-mail: funbreath@msn.com
Disclaimer: they don't belong to me
Summary: AU Angel is new at Sunnydale High. He meets Buffy and the gang. They think he's just a regular kid. Not likely.
Timeline: during season 2 of BTVS...sorta. Let's just say that Buffy and the gang are in their Junior year in Sunnydale High.
Spoilers: as far as alternate universe goes...almost nothing. References on demons from BTVS and Angel from time to time, but that's about it
Rating: R
Distribution: You can take it but ask me first please.
Feedback: That's a big big big yes!!!!! It's my first fic, so please?
The song is "The Space Between" by Dave Matthews Band
*********
19.
"Hey, Mr..." *Shit! What's his name again?* "Mr. Gives?" *Or maybe it's Geels...whatever!* "Sir?" Angel called again as he walked further inside the library. There was no one, though.*Must be doing the nasty with his girlfriend.* Angel spotted quickly Buffy's bag on the floor next to the table and picked it up. He looked around a moment, thinking how strange this school library was. It had a very dense and powerful atmosphere. Which made him a little uneasy. Subconsciously, he felt drawn to this place. Well, not exactly himself, more his vampire part. If there was one place where he would easily slip into game face without doing it and noticing it, it was this room. *Well, Skip did say that I'd find this town interesting. Looks like he's right again.* When he looked over the cage where students had to return the books, where stood a closet *probably full of books and stuff*, Angel spotted something laying on the desk. Frowning, he walked over the cage and frown even more when he realized he had guessed right. *What the fuck is my favorite stake doing on the desk of Sunnydale High's librarian??* Confused, he picked his birthday present and tucked it in the waistband of his pants. *Looks like there's more to good old Geeves than he lets people see. Gonna have to keep an eye on him.*
*****
"Why on earth would you date someone like him?" Giles asked Buffy, shaking his head.
"Because he's sweet, gentle, trustable, good looking, good kisser! Do I need to tell more?" Buffy snapped at him, starting to get angry.
"Buffy, this boy is older than you, he has a horrible school record,"
"So have I" She reminded him.
"He is undisciplined, disrespectful, older"
"You already said older." She retorted as she crossed her arms in front of her chest defensively.
"Fine. That's not the point. He's not good for you."
"Why the hell not?"
"First of all, you're the slayer, he's a normal boy, and you're not supposed to be dating. Although I won't say anything more about the dating part, because I know you too well. Second of all, he'll have a bad influence on you. You can't take the liberty of getting into troubles at school and in your life. Both as a slayer and as student."
"You don't know what you're talking about, Giles. You're only saying that stuff to me because you're mad that Angel teased you like that this afternoon. He was just having fun." She told her watcher calmly, hoping he'd just leave it there.
After a moment of thinking, Giles shook his head and sighed. "Alright, you can date him. But make sure he doesn't know about your secret identity. And...try to keep him from teasing again." He added that last part in a murmur, but Buffy heard him perfectly and grinned.
"So my dear watcher, did you find anything about the names written on the guy's stake?"
"Erm...no, I believe there is no group of people in Sunnydale with those names, but I can be wrong...those can be nicknames. But I think it can be useful to you during patrol. It has been made with extreme care, you have a very good grip of it due to its form, and" He stopped his sentence when he realized the stake wasn't where he had put it. He looked around the desk, the closet with all the weapons, but he couldn't find it. *Maybe I brought it home...* "Anyway Buffy, I think that" He turned around and stopped his sentence again when he saw that his slayer was no longer paying attention to what he was saying. Maybe it was because of the tall dark handsome boy who had his lips glued to hers. Giles had lost her for the night.
*****
"Give me your jacket." Angel told Buffy when he closed the door of his apartment behind them. She took off the black jacket she had been wearing for their date and handed it to him. He put it on a coat hanger with his and joined her in the living room. He walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder after placing a kiss behind her ear. "Thank you." He murmured softly.
"What for?"
"For the date."
She chuckled a little "YOU're the one who paid for the restaurant" She pointed out, intertwining her fingers with his on her stomach.
"I meant thank you for being there. I haven't had fun like that for a long time." He clarified with a smile.
"So...what can we do now?" She asked, relaxing against his chest.
"I want to make love to you."... ...*Oh yeah, I'm sure she wouldn't have freaked if I had actually told her that!* "Whatever you want" He answered, a pang in his heart as he said it. *God, I wish I had told her the first one...I want her so much, I'm not gotta make it through the rest of the evening.*
Suddenly, she turned over and grinned devilishly at him. "I know what we can talk about. Come on."
As Buffy was going over the couch, Angel turned towards his stereo and started it, as he remembered Buffy had asked him for music in the background the last time she was in his apartment.
// You cannot quit me so quickly
Is no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love//
She made him sit, and she sat on his lap, resting her back on the arm of the couch.
// The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep us safe from the pain But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?'
Waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted game we play//
"What do you wanna talk about?"
"I've got a question for you." He nodded, showing her that he would listen to whatever she wanted to say. "Why Angel?"
He looked confused for a moment. "Why what?"
//We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep us safe from the pain//
"I mean, why are you called Angel? No offense, I love it, but it's a weird name...you know...for a guy and all." She asked, slightly blushing. He groaned, and that made her blush even more.
"It's kinda complicated. It's not my real name."
// Will I hold you again?
Will I hold... Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down//
"What is your real name?"
"William."
She raised her eyebrows, surprised. "Wow...I can't see you as a William. But maybe it's because I'm used to call you Angel."
//The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get tickled
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain//
"The thing is, my great-parents had an argument about my name. My mom's parents are British, and they wanted me to be called William. But my dad's parents are Irish, and they didn't care about the name as long as it was Irish, which is why they wanted me to be called Liam. Which is the Gaelic for William."
// Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here
Love is all we need here
The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The Space Between...//
"I guess the English won the argument, huh?"
"Yeah."
"And why are you Angel, now?"
"It's a nickname my mom gave me when I was a baby. From what they told me when I was older, it used to annoy to death dad because he thought it wasn't manly enough for his son. But mom used it so often that I never answered to William, only to Angel." He smiled at the memory of his parents telling him the story when he was 8 years old after he came back from school crying because a boy had said his name was girly so he was a girl.
"It's cute."
"Gave me lots of problems though. When I was 11 I asked my parents if I could be called William now, because I was sick of people thinking I was a girl."
"And what made you go back to Angel?"
"I used William for about a year, but then I met one of my best friends Spike. His real name is William, and at that time everyone called him William, too. We decided to change our names. I came back to Angel since my sister never wanted to use anything else, and Spike...well chose Spike."
"Why that name? Spike is weird."
Angel made a face. "I don't know. I guess it was because of his hair...at the time he had it in spikes...I'm not sure. There are a lot of other gory possibilities we imagined, but I'm not going to tell you." They smiled at each other and kissed sweetly. The passion they had both tried to keep inside was let free, and they both laid down on the couch, with Angel on top, as their tongues dueled in each other's mouth.
*****
Later that evening, Buffy and Angel had been fooling around in the kitchen, and Buffy ended up spilling coffee all over Angel's shirt and pants. After lots of apologies from Buffy, Angel had gone to his bedroom to change, so Buffy had gone back to the living room. She looked around for a moment, then her eyes rested on Angel's desk. Curiosity took the better of her and she opened the drawers. In one of them, she found a sketch pad. She remembered that Angel had told her he could draw and he did it from time to time, when he was bored. She opened the sketch pad and was surprised to see a drawing of Cordelia's face. She went through the pages and saw a few more drawings of Cordelia, some of Willow with Kristin, but most of them were drawings of girls she didn't know, and some of them were very very much nude. Not one of them was of her. Not one. Confused, she looked again in the drawer, but the other sketch pad hadn't been used yet.
"You know baby, the next time someone spills coffee on the other, it'll be me on you, cos guys get to see a lot of more interesting stuff when a girl's shirt is soaked wet." She heard Angel comment with a chuckle from the bathroom. Then he closed the door and came back into the living room, just as Buffy put the pad back in the drawer and closed it. He saw her crouched next to the desk and panicked. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing." She replied a little too quickly.
"Did you look through the drawers?" He asked her. Not that he wanted to accuse her or make her feel guilty...but still.
"No. I didn't." She forced herself to calm down, so that he wouldn't notice that she was lying. Apparently it worked, because he relaxed a little.
"Ok. Sorry baby, it's just...this stuff is really private." *Duh! Stakes and knifes and holy water are so private!!*
"Er...I should go." She told him in a small voice.
"Now? Why?"
"I-I'm tired...and my mom will be home soon from that dinner and...I should go."
"Ok...if that's what you want." He relented, disappointment obvious in his voice. However Buffy didn't do anything to reassure him. She took her jacket and went for the door, just turning...to see Angel with his leather jacket on.
"I'm driving you home."
"No, it's ok, thanks." She murmured, shaking her head.
"That wasn't a question Buffy. There is no way I'm letting you walk back home at 11 at night. Come on." He made it clear that there wasn't place for any argument, so she merely nodded and got out of the apartment, with Angel following close.
Ten minutes later, Angel parked the bike in front of Buffy's house. "Thank you for the ride. I'll see you tomorrow at school." She told him quickly as she climbed out of the bike. She smiled a little at him and started walking to her front door.
"Hey!" He called at her, raising his eyebrows, surprised. "Don't I get a kiss or something?"
"I'm tired." She turned over for a second and then walked again towards her house.
"Baby, what's wrong?" He spoke louder as she walked away.
"Nothing, I'm just tired, ok?" She snapped at him, not even turning over. Angel was completely stunned, he couldn't make a sound. When he got his voice back a second later, Buffy was already opening her front door.
"What's with the brush off?" He asked incredulously.
"Just leave me alone!" She half shouted angrily.
"What did I do?" She didn't answer. "Baby?" She was inside her house and without looking back at him she closed the door.
*********