Title: Devastating Past

Author: Valerie

E-mail: funbreath@msn.com

Disclaimer: they don't belong to me

Summary: AU Angel is new at Sunnydale High. He meets Buffy and the gang. They think he's just a regular kid. Not likely.

Timeline: during season 2 of BTVS...sorta. Let's just say that Buffy and the gang are in their Junior year in Sunnydale High.

Spoilers: as far as alternate universe goes...almost nothing. References on demons from BTVS and Angel from time to time, but that's about it

Rating: R

Distribution: You can take it but ask me first please.

Feedback: That's a big big big yes!!!!! It's my first fic, so please?

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26.

"God, you feel so good baby!" Angel murmured against Buffy's neck as he opened the door to his apartment. It had taken them twice as long as usual to get there because neither of them had found enough courage to pull away from the other. Angel dragged Buffy inside quickly, closing the door behind them before returning to her swollen lips. His hands rested on her hips and pressed her body against his as he walked into the apartment. Buffy had been moaning into his mouth for the past 15 minutes, and it was driving him completely out of his mind. His cock was hurting like hell and he made the decision to talk to her at one point that night about sex. He wouldn't push the issue if she told him she wasn't ready yet, but he'd be damned if he didn't at least let her know that he wanted to fuck her senseless until she passed out. Well, ok, he probably wasn't gonna say it that way, but that didn't make it any less true. Just thinking that there was even a tiny possibility she wasn't a goddamn virgin and only waited for him to make his move was killing him inside. *What does Kristin know about Buffy anyway? It's totally possible she already had sex, damn it!!* "Wrap your legs around my waist" Angel instructed her breathlessly. She did what he asked, bending her head to nibble at his bottom lip.

Resting his hands on his girlfriend's butt so that she wouldn't fall, Angel walked over the couch, where they usually ended up for their usual make-out sessions in his apartment. However that night, Angel got a better idea half way towards the living room and suddenly turned around, heading towards his bedroom instead.

"Where are you going?" Buffy asked, pulling away.

Yeah, as if he would let her do that! He caught her bottom lip and started to suck on it, then entered her mouth with his tongue to massage hers. "Bed" He answered simply into her mouth.

*Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! Oh god!* Now, Buffy was getting nervous. She wasn't ready! She wanted him like crazy...she was damn sure of that, the uncomfortable ache between her legs wasn't about to let her forget it...but she knew she wasn't ready to cross that line yet. *I'm only 16! Well, 17 in a few months, but still! I'm too young! I'm still irresponsible, I'm one of many teenagers driven by hormones only! I can't have sex with my boyfriend yet!* As they reached the bed, Angel made her lay on her back on his bed, crawling on top of her without even letting her lips go. Shifting slightly to get more comfortable, one of her legs slipped between his legs, making him groan in pleasure/discomfort as she unconsciously rubbed up her leg against the big bulge in front of his pants. She hadn't noticed that before. NOW she noticed it. How could she not? *Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!* Her whole body tensed suddenly, and Angel felt it from his position on top of her.

He could ask 'What's wrong?'...he could, but he wasn't gonna. Why? 'Cause he knew exactly what was wrong. After all, less than 3 minutes ago he had been debating that matter in his head. He rolled off of Buffy and laid on his back next to her, sighing heavily. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push."

She was confused for a moment, she hadn't expected him to just KNOW what she was thinking about. But apparently he did. And he was sorry. *God he's so cute when he says that...* "It's ok." She murmured softly as she rested her head on his chest, wrapping an arm around his waist. "It's not that I don't want to...but I'm...I'm still...you know, I never did it before."

"Yeah, I know." He replied, somehow sounding a little bitter. She noticed the tone in his voice and looked into his eyes and he could see that he had hurt her. *Fuck, can you BE more moronic??* "I didn't mean it that way." He looked at her with guilt in his eyes, and she melted under his gaze.

"How did you know that I'm still a virgin?" She asked him as an afterthought.

"Well, I didn't for sure."

"oh..." She bit her bottom lip and rested her head back on his chest, deep in thought, as she listened to his heartbeat.

"Buffy, I'm not gonna lie to you. I want to make love to you. Sometimes I want it so much I can't think straight. But I would never make you do something you don't really want as well. I swear to God."

"Thank you." They exchanged a sweet kiss and Buffy climbed on top of Angel, straddling his stomach. When they finally pulled apart, the slayer grinned at her boyfriend. Then, under his curious gaze, she started unbuttoning his shirt.

"What are you doing?" He asked with a hint of amusement and surprise in his voice.

"Taking off your shirt."

"Yeah, I see that" He frowned, running his hands on Buffy's thighs and hips.

"Turn around." She commanded, grinning devilishly. Angel eyed her suspiciously and when she urged him to do it once more, he relented and turned around to lay on his stomach, as she lifted herself from his body so that he could actually move. He rested his head on a pillow, waiting for Buffy to do whatever she had planned. She was sitting on the small of his back, not bothering to spare him of her weight. But she was so light that he didn't even care, she could lie down on him he wouldn't mind. He could feel her gaze burning into his flesh as she looked at his body. He couldn't actually see what she was doing, he couldn't see her face, but damn he was turned on!

Buffy was looking at his tattoo. After a little moment, she traced its outlines with her pointing finger thoughtfully. "Why do have that tattoo?"

"You don't like it?"

"Oh no, I like it, I was just wondering."

"A game of Truth or dare. I picked dare."

He could hear the smile in her voice. "You're kidding me!"

"It was 2 years ago in New York, we were bored out of our minds and someone suggested a high level game of truth or dare. Very stupid dares and utterly embarrassing questions. Spike dared me to have a tattoo, Faith dared Kristin to get her belly button pierced." Angel explained, smiling at the memory. He also had to sleep with one of Faith's friends and to share with everyone what was the most stupid thing that ever crossed his mind during sex, among other stupid dares and questions about sex, but...he wouldn't tell that to Buffy.

Buffy ran her hands up and down his back for a minute, and then she started rubbing Angel's shoulders with her talented fingers, kneading his tense muscles, caressing his smooth skin.

"Holy shit!" His voice was muffled into the pillow.

"Do you like that?" Buffy asked, as if it wasn't obvious. He could only moan his answer. She kept massaging his shoulder blades, and all the way up and down his spine. "You know, you kinda scared me tonight at the Bronze." She stated while she was working on his shoulders again. *Damn he's tense!* Gently, she rubbed and pinched in circular motions with both her hands on his shoulder blades until the knots gave way.

"Buffy, I told you already. I knew those guys, they would never have shot me." Angel repeated for the thousandth time, his eyes closed and starting to relax under his girlfriend's touch.

"No, I mean YOU scared me."

He was confused. "What?"

"Well...you were kinda scary."

He was silent for a moment. "I-I don't know what to say Buffy."

"Oh don't worry, I'm fine. I just never...saw that side of you before. You've always been so sweet and caring with me. You see what I mean?" She placed a kiss on his shoulder, showing him that there was no real problem.

"Yeah." He sighed, trying to put into words what he wanted her to understand. "I lived for years in the streets, I told you that. And I DO mean in the streets. In the bad neighborhoods of New York and Los Angeles. You won't gain respect by being all nice and polite. You can be yourself when you're with people you trust completely, but when you're facing an enemy, you have no choice. Either you win or you lose. You need to have power over people and to show it."

Buffy didn't say anything for a minute. She kept caressing his back soothingly. "I guess I never realized how hard your life had been."

Angel turned around, staring into her eyes and she shivered from the intensity of his gaze. His right hand made its way into her hair as his left hand slipped inside her shirt. He paused when he reached the outlines of her breast, giving her time to stop him. She didn't do anything, she was completely lost in his eyes. Slowly, Angel slipped his other hand inside her shirt and unclasped her bra. She helped him remove it, without taking off her shirt, and he threw it carelessly on the floor. As she felt Angel's hands brush against her naked breasts, Buffy closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She had never been so far with a boy before, but with Angel she knew she wouldn't regret it. He cupped her breasts with both hands, caressing her soft skin with his thumbs before squeezing them gently, causing her to moan. He ran his thumbs over her hardened nipples, eliciting an other small moan from Buffy. Angel continued his ministrations on her breasts for a long time, his girlfriend whimpering in pleasure from his expert touch. He couldn't see her chest, but the feeling of his hands on her soft breasts was intoxicating, and he had to fight back the urge to rip off her shirt and pants and take her as hard as possible. He looked at her face and clenched his teeth to keep himself from groaning in pain. God, his fucking cock was hurting him. He loved to pleasure her and all, but hell at that moment, he would give anything for her not to be a virgin.

Eventually Angel released Buffy's breasts, his hands sliding down her sides and resting on her hips. She opened her eyes and smiled down at her boyfriend, catching her breath. Then she bent down, capturing Angel's lips in a passionate kiss. Her hands roamed all over his chest, his arms, as they kissed, until he pulled apart, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. "What's wrong Angel?"

"I-I...I can't...Buffy..." He opened his eyes in shock as she started to move a little on top of him, her butt resting so fucking damn close to his groin he thought he was going to grip her hips and press her into his raging erection. *No, no, no, no, no, I can't do that, I can't!* "It's getting late, I should drive you home baby." He managed to exclaimed.

"But I...it's fine, I don't have to be home until 11." She protested, and then took a look at his watch. *Damn! 10:50* "Well...alright." She climbed off him and walked out of the room to get her stuff, leaving Angel in the bedroom. He slowly sat on the edge of his bed, placing his hands carefully on his crotch to somehow magically ease the extreme discomfort in his pants and wincing as he did it. *Fucking vampire senses! My fucking cock is fucking oversensitive now! Shit, it fucking hurts! God, it has never been so damn painful with any other girl!! Why is SHE so fucking hot and irresistible?? Argh! How in the world am I gonna live through another day with a hard on like that?*

*****

Just a few minutes before 11, Angel stopped his bike in front of Buffy's house. She climbed off her seat behind Angel, letting go of his waist reluctantly. The slayer looked at Angel silently, and the poor boy was staring helplessly at her bottom lip, which jutted out in a pout just before him. *Oh god she's so cute! Oh god I'm gonna die! God I can even feel the wind blowing on my dick! God even that is killing me! Oh shit I hate my fucking vampire side! Oh no, she's touching my arm! Fuck I gotta think about something besides her hot body...oh fuck she's got the perfect body! No, sooo not going there! Dinosaurs! Chairs! Books! Yeah, books! A good old book. The Karma Sutra's an old book. Buffy reading the Karma Sutra and...Argh!! Er...XANDER!!!! Oh yes! Xander's a good one. I can't think of Xander in a sexual way, it's Xander! Xander is Buffy's friend. Buffy's my girlfriend. My girlfriend's standing right in front of me, looking sexy and hot as hell, and I could put my fingers on... ... ...HEEEELP!!!!!*

"I'll see you tomorrow." She whispered sweetly, running a finger along his neck and using her other hand to unbutton his shirt.

*This is how I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die tonight, right here with my fucking rock-hard cock and they'll write on my tombstone: Angel Connelly, killed by physical frustration.*

While Buffy was kissing Angel on the neck, her fingers traced a path down his chest.

*STOP!! Stop now! Don't touch the belly button, don't touch the...oooooooh she touched it... ...still alive but damn, I wish I was dead!!*

Unaware of Angel's near catatonic state, Buffy played for a moment with his belly button, nibbling at his ear. Eventually, as she pressed her hands against his chest and his shoulders, she noticed how tense he was. Erm...understatement of the year. "My, you're so tense! I thought I had managed to relax your body with that massage" She whispered sexily in his ear.

*Sure, bring THAT back, THAT will ease my pain! That's great baby, now I can picture you straddling my waist and my hands on your breasts and those moans you were making...and it's TOTALLY helping me!...note to self: sarcasm about your hot girlfriend's body is NOT helpful in that case.*

Eventually, Angel managed to find his voice. "You should go home. It's late."

"Yeah. You're right. I guess I'll see you tomorrow at school." She pressed her lips against his, surprised when he didn't fully return the kiss the way he always did. *Jeez, what's wrong with him? God, I hope he's not angry that I wouldn't have sex with him!*

"Good night." He smiled nervously at her and took off as she entered her house, wondering about his behavior.

*****

Angel drove home as fast as he could, trying to get his mind off of Buffy. He parked his bike quickly in front of his building and ran to his apartment. He closed the door behind him with his foot as he threw his shirt on the floor. He got rid of his shoes and socks in the hallway, fought with the fly of his pants that kept rubbing against his erection as he entered the bathroom, took off pants and boxers in one quick gesture...and at least he was in the shower, freezing water cooling off his extremely overheated body.

*shit, I forgot my books and notes at Jenny's!*

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