Title: Devastating Past
Author: Valerie
E-mail: funbreath@msn.com
Disclaimer: they don't belong to me
Summary: AU Angel is new at Sunnydale High. He meets Buffy and the gang. They think he's just a regular kid. Not likely.
Timeline: during season 2 of BTVS...sorta. Let's just say that Buffy and the gang are in their Junior year in Sunnydale High.
Spoilers: as far as alternate universe goes...almost nothing. References on demons from BTVS and Angel from time to time, but that's about it
Rating: R
Distribution: You can take it but ask me first please.
Feedback: That's a big big big yes!!!!! It's my first fic, so please?
Hey, I decided to bring some French culture in here! Don't ask me how the hell a French song could ever be heard in the States, just...try and understand the lyrics. I you don't...erm...that's too bad =) (I can translate them for ya if you ask nicely...). Anyway, the song is "Que vous Dire" by Willy Denzey...who's French, even though his name doesn't sound like it! (oh, and if you're wondering why the hell I put a French song in here, that's cos I'm French and well...I like that song, it's way pretty!)
*********
33.
Angel quickly got out of the bed, grabbed the cordless phone and left the bedroom to let Buffy sleep. "What?" He growled at whoever was calling.
"Hey mate" The familiar British accent greeted him.
"Spike" Angel sighed, sitting down on the couch "What the fuck do you want?"
"What's wrong Peaches? Did I interrupt something?" He asked with a teasing note in his voice.
"Nothing important" He glanced down at himself, rolling his eyes. *nothing important, yeah right...I was only dreaming of the best fuck I could ever have and got interrupted just before the end.*
"Who's the girl? She a good lay?"
"I wasn't having sex Spike. Now why are you calling in the middle of the night?"
"While you were busy jumping the next small blonde you could see, we found a way to stop the bloody ritual"
"I wasn't jum...you did? What is it?" Angel raised an eyebrow, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen.
"A spell. It's supposed to bind the influence of soddin Vigious or somethin'. Problem is you won't find the bloody thing in books, it's engraved on the back of an amulet. Name's amulet of Kishfar."
"Ok" The young warrior murmured while writing down the information. "Any idea where to find the amulet?"
"Nope, sorry mate."
"I'll go check at the magic shop in the morning. When are you and Faith coming over?"
"Soon. We're on the road."
"Yeah, well, see you later." They said their goodbyes and hung up. Angel rubbed his temples in circular motions, trying to get his mind away from the half naked blonde girl that was sleeping in his bed and about whom he just had to most passionate erotic dream ever. She was slowly driving him crazy with need, and he hated feeling that way, but it felt so good at the same time to be with her...
After a minute he headed to the bathroom to take one long cold shower. With a big sigh he closed his eyes, letting the water run all over his body in an attempt to cool himself off, which was one tricky business because of his hybrid metabolism. When he didn't have sex for a long time, his testosterone rate was a lot higher than the average human, and it made him feel like a cat in heat or something. Quite disturbing image. Leaning on the wall of his shower, Angel grabbed his cock with one hand and stroke it softly, trying to picture Buffy doing it instead. He knew he was driving himself insane, but he couldn't help it, there was no way he'd be able to go back to sleep with a hard on like that. *Fuck, I can see her little fingers...with that cute pink nail polish...grabbing me, pumping...so not helping my case here* He sighed heavily...he seemed to do that a lot lately. Hell, here he was in his shower, picturing the image of his girlfriend while she was sleeping in the next room, to masturbate in his shower...how pathetic for the guy who has the reputation of having screwed every available girl in Manhattan. New York's not that big a city, but still.
Rolling his eyes, he quickly got rid of his problem...and slumped down the shower wall in defeat. Then he thought about his dream and what she had told him..."I want you to make love to me, I love you" He remembered vividly her breathless, sweet, pleading voice and closed his eyes. He had MADE her say the three words...it was his own twisted mind that made Buffy say them to him. What was that all about? Was it because he so desperately want her to say them? No, he didn't. He didn't give a shit about what she was feeling. *And that's the biggest lie of the century, but whatever...* It's not like he loved her, because he didn't. He cared about her, a lot, but he didn't love her. He couldn't love anyone in any other way than a brotherly sense. And even that wasn't true, he didn't love Kristin. He didn't love Faith, he didn't love Elizabeth, Spike, Gunn, Penn, Jessica, Carrie, Vanessa, Drusilla and any of the others. *Right, keep telling yourself all that, maybe in 2 or 3 thousand years you'll start to believe it. UGH!!! I'm so whipped! Like a fucking whining horny hormonal... ...whipped guy.* Thing is, in the last 7 years he kept telling himself that love wasn't something he'd ever find...but now he realized how wrong he had been. He might not be IN LOVE with anyone *and there is absolutely NO little voice in the back of my head whispering 'Buffy..., Buffy..., GODDAMNIT LISTEN TO ME YOU JACKASS YOU LOVE HER!!!!!!!'...no, I don't hear that voice*, but he certainly felt a lot more for any of his friends than a mere friendship. *Oh for fuck's sake I love them all!!! And I love Buffy the most, I can't talk about anyone else, I can't sleep without having her in my dreams, I can't breathe without thinking about her! I FUCKING LOVE HER!!!* Angel froze, as if his own inner debate had slapped him in the face. *All right, I'm scared and insane. Scared because I'm starting to realize that I'm in love with Buffy. Insane because I'm yelling at myself in my mind and I've been sitting for god knows how long in that shower and I think I used all the hot water. And now I'm cold.* He shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts and stood up, turning off the water.
Angel stepped out of the shower, half hoping to see Buffy there...naked and waiting to get him back in bed to have sex...*jeez, get your head out of the gutter...* He quickly dried off and put on his boxers. He stepped out of the bathroom and opened his bedroom door, and stopped there. Buffy had moved a little, subconsciously using the vacant space where he had been sleeping. She was on her stomach, her hand resting where his chest should be. The sheets were twisted around her body but she had one leg poking out of the whole mess, one long, slim, tanned leg, with nothing to hide it from his hungry eyes and...
*Down boy!* he thought as he rolled his eyes when he felt an all too familiar stirring in his groin. The dark-haired warrior tilted his head a little so that he could see more of his sleeping goddess and had to bite his bottom lip when he saw her shifting a little, letting him see her black thong. With all the willpower he could find, he tore his eyes from his girlfriend's exposed ass and got a look at the clock by his bed. It was already 9 in the morning. His friends would surely arrive soon, and it'd be best if they started the research on the amulet as soon as possible.
Angel walked slowly to the bed and sat next to Buffy, lightly stroking her hair. "Baby?" All he got was a barely audible hmmm. "Baby, I'm gonna go out and get some food at the store for breakfast, ok?"
"Sleeping" She mumbled into the pillow, and Angel had serious doubts that she had even heard him.
"Buffy, sweetie?" He whispered in her ear, resting his weight on his arms as he bent over her.
"Angel" She whispered back, turning around so they were face to face, but still she didn't open her eyes.
"Morning" He murmured as he kissed her softly on the lips. "I'll be gone for half an hour. Gotta go get us something to eat." He repeated softly, lovingly, his face close to hers. She made some kind of noise that sounded like a moan and he took that as an answer. "You can stay in here, I'll bring you breakfast in bed, ok?" A smile crept on her face and he responded instantly with one of his own. "Get some more rest, you'll need it." He kissed her on the forehead and stood up, seeing that she obviously had understood the part where she could get to stay in bed and sleep longer...since she only snuggled deeper in the sheets. Angel reached out and grabbed the hem of the sheets, straightening them and pulling them over his girlfriend so that she'd be more comfortable. He gazed dreamily at Buffy before walking over his closet and getting pants, a shirt and boxers out. He took off the ones he had been wearing at night, just as Buffy finally decided to open her eyes.
She was greeted by the sight of a very naked Angel who was, to her relief, his back at her. She couldn't help but gasp as her eyes rested on his ass, and she licked her suddenly very dry lips. The noise made Angel realize that she was awake and when he turned around, Buffy's eyes widened in surprise. "Like what you see?" He teased her, with a raised eyebrow and a half smile.
She relaxed considerably when she saw he was holding his boxers in front of him. "Ok, I'm embarrassed." *But...hmmm...firm.* She blushed at her own thoughts, which made Angel grin wider.
"Jeez Buff, as much as I enjoy you checking out my ass, I need to dress up. Wanna close your eyes?" He suggested in a teasing tone, but he knew she knew he only did that so that she'd be less embarrassed. He wasn't the kind of guy to be ashamed of his manhood. Far from it.
Knowing she was blushing like crazy, Buffy closed her eyes tight, just when she saw him turning his attention to his clothes. After about 10 seconds, she couldn't resist the temptation anymore. *Just a little glimpse...can't hurt anyone...* She opened one eye carefully, only to see Angel, still clutching the material in front of himself, with an expression that screamed 'I knew you were gonna do that' Buffy smiled sheepishly and turned around, burying her face in the pillow to hide her ever redder cheeks. A minute later, she felt the bed moving and turned her head around. Angel was crawling on top of her, wearing his pants and a shirt. "You're so cute when you're embarrassed." He whispered in her ear when she buried her face in the pillow, making her shiver.
"Not embarrassed" Buffy groaned, trying to keep some dignity.
"Right." Her boyfriend replied, not convinced. "But just so you know, you don't have to feel shy around me." He told her, stressing his point by raining kisses on her shoulder. "If you want to see me naked, just ask me, I won't mind." She remained silent, which made him chuckle. "I know what's going on in that naughty little mind of yours, but baby, I just got dressed, you sure you want me to take my clothes off RIGHT NOW?"
"I wasn't thinking about that!" She protested and turned around, facing him with a mock-pout.
"Of course baby, of course." He bent over and kissed her full on the lips. She responded eagerly, bending her knees to straddle his hips through the sheets. Her arms went around his neck, pressing him into the kiss. After a few minutes of intense making out, they pulled away just enough to be able to see each other's eyes. "I gotta go baby."
"Why?" She pouted, for real this time.
"Because I, for one, am hungry, and there's nothing to eat here."
"Fine, but get back soon." She relented, mostly because she was hungry too.
"I promise." He stood up and put on his shoes as Buffy made herself more comfortable, sitting against the headboard to watch him.
"I'll miss you." She stated, grinning shyly.
"I'll miss you too my slayer." He answered with a quick kiss on her lips. Then, with a last smile at Buffy, Angel grabbed his wallet and left.
*My slayer. He called me HIS SLAYER.* Buffy thought, a dreamy grin on her face. *That must be the most beautiful thing he ever told me, and he did it so naturally.* She was extremely relieved that Angel knew about her secret. And took it so well. Ok, so with him being a 'warrior' and all, the possibilities he would freak were way smaller, but...it felt really good that he took it well. *I'm his slayer. His. Key word: his. His his his his his his his..........HIS!!!!!* At that moment, she feared she would have a silly grin on her face the whole day. *Whatever, I'm his slayer.* Giggling like a little girl, Buffy got out of bed and out of the bedroom, wandering around the apartment. "There's nothing interesting in here...I'm gonna have to bully him into letting me hang stuff around." She told herself, entering the living room. She turned on the radio and looked around the shelves, thinking that Angel wouldn't mind.
//Incertain, je m'avance à grand pas, la vie m'ouvre ses bras
que ma fraicheur embrasse
que jeunesse se passe
il me faudra du temps et déjà je le prends
tant qu'il m'en est donné
il ne peut y avoir dans votre mémoire
qu'une image dépassée
Que vous dire si ce n'est que j'aime
et que tout ce que vous pensez
ne fera que mener les miennes
à ne jamais vous les dévoiler
que vous dire surtout pas le pire
elles ne sont que du même au pire
and I like it, I like it, oh yeah//
Buffy went through Angel's CD collection, seeing that he mostly had only depressing songs. *typical...* She then spotted an open drawer and bent down to check what was in it. Recognizing Angel's sketch pads. The slayer picked them up, all three of them. Then she felt something in the drawer and kneeled down to reach inside. She managed to get a hold on whatever it was. It was an older looking pad, all wrinkled and full of dust. *Tsk tsk tsk...he JUST moved in and didn't even bother dusting off his stuff during the move. Typical male...* She thought as she walked to the couch. She sat down on it, pulling a blanket over her body and taking a deep breath...the blanket smelled like Angel, the pillows smelled like Angel...everything here smelled like him...*his slayer* and here was the big grin again.
//Je connais le regard sur nos vies
mais l'on connait aussi
la chaleur qu'il inflige
à donner le vertige
à nos actes manqués
envers ceux qu'on aimait
puis-je enfin vous donner
plus que jamais je veux
me voir dans vos yeux
pour que vous puissiez savoir
Que vous dire si ce n'est que j'aime
et que tout ce que vous pensez
ne fera que mener les miennes
à ne jamais vous les dévoiler
que vous dire surtout pas le pire
elles ne sont que du même au pire
and I like it, I like it oh yeah//
Buffy went through the sketch pads, admiring his boyfriend's skills. He was truly gifted. He could represent so perfectly the emotions of whoever he was drawing. She smiled brightly, recognizing the drawing he had made of her while they were on the phone that night. She took the older looking pad, and noticed the date that he had written next to his signature on the corners. This one was about 6 years old. The lines were a lot more uncertain than on his newest sketches, and Buffy could tell that he had improved a lot since those days, but he had still kept the same style. She recognized a few of a 10 or so year old Kristin, where she had obviously modeled for her brother. Then, as she turned the pages, a photo fell on her lap. She picked it up and looked at it with a frown.
*What the hell?* It was an old picture of Angel and a blonde girl in bed, suspiciously naked, and they were about to kiss, with a big smile on both their faces. Then Buffy took a look at the page where the photo had been and saw a drawing of that picture. *Ugh...ex-girlfriend...how creepy is that? They can't be older than 14 in here...and here I am, a nearly 17 year old...to afraid to make love with him...jeez he must be so frustrated with me...* She flipped through the pages, seeing a lot of drawings of that same girl, until she froze and nearly dropped the pad in surprise. The drawing reflected so much anger, that it made her shiver slightly. It was that blonde girl again...but there was nothing sweet and cute about THIS drawing. Her eyes were so cold and empty, completely lifeless. She was lying in a strange position, her neck twisted...with 2 little holes on that neck. *Oh my god...that's the girl he told me about when he learnt about vampires...* The slayer realized, feeling the tears forming in her eyes, just thinking at the pain her boyfriend had felt. The drawings after that were really dark, a lot of them representing dead or injured people, children crying, eyes so devoid of emotions that she didn't resist the urge to close the book and put it right back where she had found it. At that point she started to understand just how much Angel had suffered and how many dark desperate periods in his past made him the man he was today. *I wish he was there so that I could hold him tight...and never ever let him go.*
She jumped in surprise when she heard a knocking on the door. Grinning, she went to open the door. "I thought you said I could stay in bed until" She trailed off...it wasn't Angel.
*****
Faith raised her eyebrows seeing the girl before her. *Let's see what we've got here...Girl? Check. Blonde? Check. Petite? Check. Half-nude? Check. Yeah, I'm definitely at Angel's.* The brunette thought, not even trying to hide her grin, as she looked the girl up and down. *She's a cute one, at least Angel's standards didn't change.*
Buffy had troubles finding her voice in front of that girl. She was a stunning brunette about her age, taller than her. She was wearing black leather pants that were dangerously low, and a leather jacket. She had dark make up on that made her look dangerous, with her long dark hair falling wildly around her face. Eventually, the slayer managed to find her voice. "Hum...Can I help you?"
"Sure." The brunette replied, crossing her arms in front of her chest and leaned against the door frame.
"If you're looking for Angel, he's not here right now, but"
"I'm sure he'll be back soon, don't worry girlfriend." Faith entered the apartment, and Buffy hesitantly closed the door behind her. She watched as the brunette shrugged off of her jacket, throwing it carelessly on the couch, revealing a black skimpy halter top that would make any guy drool. She looked around the apartment, touching Angel's stuff, and finally plopped down on the couch with her feet resting on the coffee table in front of her. "Faith." She suddenly exclaimed, as she turned the pages of one of Angel's books.
"Excuse me?"
Faith turned around and smiled friendlily at Buffy. "I'm Faith."
"Nice to meet you." Buffy replied politely, joining her in the living room. "I'm Buffy. You're one of Angel's friends who're supposed to come over today, right?"
"Yeah" Faith nodded. An awkward silence surrounded the room...well, at least for Buffy, Faith didn't seem too preoccupied by anything. "Was it your first time together?"
"Angel and I? First time what?" Buffy frowned.
"Yeah, and sex" Finally Faith raised her head, smirking at Buffy. "He's good, isn't he?"
"You mean for sex?" Buffy asked incredulously.
"No, I meant his drawing skills." Faith snapped sarcastically. "Of course I meant sex!"
"Well, I don't know, it could have been the drawing since he's good at that!" Buffy exclaimed defensively.
Faith looked surprise for a moment, then she stared at Buffy suspiciously. "How long have you known him?"
"Few months."
Angel never talked about his personal life or hobbies or anything with his one night stands. Which meant that he had found a replacement for Jess, Vanessa and the others. "So, you're the new fuck buddy. Interesting."
"What? What? I'm not his fuck buddy!"
"Whatever you say, B." Faith chuckled, thinking of the trouble Angel certainly came across to find his new gal. Maybe he had a couple others...he always was the cautious kind when it came to having sex.
Buffy was about to reply but the sound of the door interrupted her. She turned around and saw Angel coming in with a bag in his hands, laughing. That was one sexy sight...*Angel laughing...yum* He was followed by a tall bleached blond guy that was laughing as well. She was startled by Faith, who was looking at them too and whistled appreciably. "Check out the stud" She exclaimed, looking at Angel up and down.
"Gotta agree with you my love." Angel teased with a smirk as he put down the bag on the kitchen counter.
"Don't feel too self-conscious lover" She added as Angel crossed the room.
"Yeah, you wish." Faith scoffed, rolling her eyes.
"I missed you Faith." Angel stated with a sweet smile.
"I missed you too" She jumped off the couch and hugged him tight for a few minutes.
"At least we know we're at Angel's." Spike commented as he noticed the little blonde who was standing with her arms crossed against her chest, waiting for Angel to notice her as well.
"My thoughts exactly" Faith agreed, throwing a mock-offended look at Angel.
"Shut up you two" Angel mumbled as he let go of Faith and walked over Buffy. He placed a kiss on her forehead and slipped his arm around her waist, trying not to be distracted by her clothes...He felt strangely aroused when he saw her in his clothes. "Buffy, this is Spike, one of my best friends. And I guess you've met Faith."
"We've...met, yeah." She nodded with a nervous smile. "Maybe I should go get dressed" She suggested to Angel.
"I kinda like ya like that you know." He told her with a teasing smile.
"I don't doubt it, but it won't stop me from putting actual clothes on when your friends are here."
"Any way I can change your mind?" He asked, his bottom lip forming the cutest pout Buffy had ever seen.
"No"
"Fine, go. May I make a suggestion first?"
"Yeah" She frowned at him playfully.
"Well..." He started making lazy circles on her hands and pulled her tighter to him. "I was thinking that since I'm tired and it's always really exhausting to have to think a lot...you could wear something that doesn't require for me a great deal of thinking...you know, maybe something that leaves little to the imagination."
"You'd like that, huh? But I'm gonna see the others today. You'd be ok if Xander saw that much of me?"
"I'm not afraid of Xander."
"How about any guy in the street? Wouldn't you mind if they saw something and then they would be able to fantasize about it whenever they want?" Angel thought about it for a moment, then looked at her innocently.
"I could lock you up in my bedroom." Buffy rolled her eyes and Angel lowered his head, capturing her lips in a sweet long kiss.
"In your dreams" Buffy winked and walked away, leaving Angel staring at her with a silly grin.
"What the bloody fuck was that, Peaches?" Spike and Faith were sitting on the couch, Faith on her boyfriend's lap, and they were both watching Angel with a bewildered look.
"You know, we're used to see ya fool around with all your fuck buddies, but what's with all the fluffiness?" Faith explained when Angel frowned in confusion.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He replied innocently and walked to the kitchen, putting on the counter what he had bought for breakfast.
"What's wrong with him? He looks happy." Faith whispered in her boyfriend's ear, knowing fully well that Angel could hear her with his vampire hearing.
"Dunno pet, but with Blondie here, we're gonna find out soon enough."
*********
Author: Valerie
E-mail: funbreath@msn.com
Disclaimer: they don't belong to me
Summary: AU Angel is new at Sunnydale High. He meets Buffy and the gang. They think he's just a regular kid. Not likely.
Timeline: during season 2 of BTVS...sorta. Let's just say that Buffy and the gang are in their Junior year in Sunnydale High.
Spoilers: as far as alternate universe goes...almost nothing. References on demons from BTVS and Angel from time to time, but that's about it
Rating: R
Distribution: You can take it but ask me first please.
Feedback: That's a big big big yes!!!!! It's my first fic, so please?
Hey, I decided to bring some French culture in here! Don't ask me how the hell a French song could ever be heard in the States, just...try and understand the lyrics. I you don't...erm...that's too bad =) (I can translate them for ya if you ask nicely...). Anyway, the song is "Que vous Dire" by Willy Denzey...who's French, even though his name doesn't sound like it! (oh, and if you're wondering why the hell I put a French song in here, that's cos I'm French and well...I like that song, it's way pretty!)
*********
33.
Angel quickly got out of the bed, grabbed the cordless phone and left the bedroom to let Buffy sleep. "What?" He growled at whoever was calling.
"Hey mate" The familiar British accent greeted him.
"Spike" Angel sighed, sitting down on the couch "What the fuck do you want?"
"What's wrong Peaches? Did I interrupt something?" He asked with a teasing note in his voice.
"Nothing important" He glanced down at himself, rolling his eyes. *nothing important, yeah right...I was only dreaming of the best fuck I could ever have and got interrupted just before the end.*
"Who's the girl? She a good lay?"
"I wasn't having sex Spike. Now why are you calling in the middle of the night?"
"While you were busy jumping the next small blonde you could see, we found a way to stop the bloody ritual"
"I wasn't jum...you did? What is it?" Angel raised an eyebrow, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen.
"A spell. It's supposed to bind the influence of soddin Vigious or somethin'. Problem is you won't find the bloody thing in books, it's engraved on the back of an amulet. Name's amulet of Kishfar."
"Ok" The young warrior murmured while writing down the information. "Any idea where to find the amulet?"
"Nope, sorry mate."
"I'll go check at the magic shop in the morning. When are you and Faith coming over?"
"Soon. We're on the road."
"Yeah, well, see you later." They said their goodbyes and hung up. Angel rubbed his temples in circular motions, trying to get his mind away from the half naked blonde girl that was sleeping in his bed and about whom he just had to most passionate erotic dream ever. She was slowly driving him crazy with need, and he hated feeling that way, but it felt so good at the same time to be with her...
After a minute he headed to the bathroom to take one long cold shower. With a big sigh he closed his eyes, letting the water run all over his body in an attempt to cool himself off, which was one tricky business because of his hybrid metabolism. When he didn't have sex for a long time, his testosterone rate was a lot higher than the average human, and it made him feel like a cat in heat or something. Quite disturbing image. Leaning on the wall of his shower, Angel grabbed his cock with one hand and stroke it softly, trying to picture Buffy doing it instead. He knew he was driving himself insane, but he couldn't help it, there was no way he'd be able to go back to sleep with a hard on like that. *Fuck, I can see her little fingers...with that cute pink nail polish...grabbing me, pumping...so not helping my case here* He sighed heavily...he seemed to do that a lot lately. Hell, here he was in his shower, picturing the image of his girlfriend while she was sleeping in the next room, to masturbate in his shower...how pathetic for the guy who has the reputation of having screwed every available girl in Manhattan. New York's not that big a city, but still.
Rolling his eyes, he quickly got rid of his problem...and slumped down the shower wall in defeat. Then he thought about his dream and what she had told him..."I want you to make love to me, I love you" He remembered vividly her breathless, sweet, pleading voice and closed his eyes. He had MADE her say the three words...it was his own twisted mind that made Buffy say them to him. What was that all about? Was it because he so desperately want her to say them? No, he didn't. He didn't give a shit about what she was feeling. *And that's the biggest lie of the century, but whatever...* It's not like he loved her, because he didn't. He cared about her, a lot, but he didn't love her. He couldn't love anyone in any other way than a brotherly sense. And even that wasn't true, he didn't love Kristin. He didn't love Faith, he didn't love Elizabeth, Spike, Gunn, Penn, Jessica, Carrie, Vanessa, Drusilla and any of the others. *Right, keep telling yourself all that, maybe in 2 or 3 thousand years you'll start to believe it. UGH!!! I'm so whipped! Like a fucking whining horny hormonal... ...whipped guy.* Thing is, in the last 7 years he kept telling himself that love wasn't something he'd ever find...but now he realized how wrong he had been. He might not be IN LOVE with anyone *and there is absolutely NO little voice in the back of my head whispering 'Buffy..., Buffy..., GODDAMNIT LISTEN TO ME YOU JACKASS YOU LOVE HER!!!!!!!'...no, I don't hear that voice*, but he certainly felt a lot more for any of his friends than a mere friendship. *Oh for fuck's sake I love them all!!! And I love Buffy the most, I can't talk about anyone else, I can't sleep without having her in my dreams, I can't breathe without thinking about her! I FUCKING LOVE HER!!!* Angel froze, as if his own inner debate had slapped him in the face. *All right, I'm scared and insane. Scared because I'm starting to realize that I'm in love with Buffy. Insane because I'm yelling at myself in my mind and I've been sitting for god knows how long in that shower and I think I used all the hot water. And now I'm cold.* He shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts and stood up, turning off the water.
Angel stepped out of the shower, half hoping to see Buffy there...naked and waiting to get him back in bed to have sex...*jeez, get your head out of the gutter...* He quickly dried off and put on his boxers. He stepped out of the bathroom and opened his bedroom door, and stopped there. Buffy had moved a little, subconsciously using the vacant space where he had been sleeping. She was on her stomach, her hand resting where his chest should be. The sheets were twisted around her body but she had one leg poking out of the whole mess, one long, slim, tanned leg, with nothing to hide it from his hungry eyes and...
*Down boy!* he thought as he rolled his eyes when he felt an all too familiar stirring in his groin. The dark-haired warrior tilted his head a little so that he could see more of his sleeping goddess and had to bite his bottom lip when he saw her shifting a little, letting him see her black thong. With all the willpower he could find, he tore his eyes from his girlfriend's exposed ass and got a look at the clock by his bed. It was already 9 in the morning. His friends would surely arrive soon, and it'd be best if they started the research on the amulet as soon as possible.
Angel walked slowly to the bed and sat next to Buffy, lightly stroking her hair. "Baby?" All he got was a barely audible hmmm. "Baby, I'm gonna go out and get some food at the store for breakfast, ok?"
"Sleeping" She mumbled into the pillow, and Angel had serious doubts that she had even heard him.
"Buffy, sweetie?" He whispered in her ear, resting his weight on his arms as he bent over her.
"Angel" She whispered back, turning around so they were face to face, but still she didn't open her eyes.
"Morning" He murmured as he kissed her softly on the lips. "I'll be gone for half an hour. Gotta go get us something to eat." He repeated softly, lovingly, his face close to hers. She made some kind of noise that sounded like a moan and he took that as an answer. "You can stay in here, I'll bring you breakfast in bed, ok?" A smile crept on her face and he responded instantly with one of his own. "Get some more rest, you'll need it." He kissed her on the forehead and stood up, seeing that she obviously had understood the part where she could get to stay in bed and sleep longer...since she only snuggled deeper in the sheets. Angel reached out and grabbed the hem of the sheets, straightening them and pulling them over his girlfriend so that she'd be more comfortable. He gazed dreamily at Buffy before walking over his closet and getting pants, a shirt and boxers out. He took off the ones he had been wearing at night, just as Buffy finally decided to open her eyes.
She was greeted by the sight of a very naked Angel who was, to her relief, his back at her. She couldn't help but gasp as her eyes rested on his ass, and she licked her suddenly very dry lips. The noise made Angel realize that she was awake and when he turned around, Buffy's eyes widened in surprise. "Like what you see?" He teased her, with a raised eyebrow and a half smile.
She relaxed considerably when she saw he was holding his boxers in front of him. "Ok, I'm embarrassed." *But...hmmm...firm.* She blushed at her own thoughts, which made Angel grin wider.
"Jeez Buff, as much as I enjoy you checking out my ass, I need to dress up. Wanna close your eyes?" He suggested in a teasing tone, but he knew she knew he only did that so that she'd be less embarrassed. He wasn't the kind of guy to be ashamed of his manhood. Far from it.
Knowing she was blushing like crazy, Buffy closed her eyes tight, just when she saw him turning his attention to his clothes. After about 10 seconds, she couldn't resist the temptation anymore. *Just a little glimpse...can't hurt anyone...* She opened one eye carefully, only to see Angel, still clutching the material in front of himself, with an expression that screamed 'I knew you were gonna do that' Buffy smiled sheepishly and turned around, burying her face in the pillow to hide her ever redder cheeks. A minute later, she felt the bed moving and turned her head around. Angel was crawling on top of her, wearing his pants and a shirt. "You're so cute when you're embarrassed." He whispered in her ear when she buried her face in the pillow, making her shiver.
"Not embarrassed" Buffy groaned, trying to keep some dignity.
"Right." Her boyfriend replied, not convinced. "But just so you know, you don't have to feel shy around me." He told her, stressing his point by raining kisses on her shoulder. "If you want to see me naked, just ask me, I won't mind." She remained silent, which made him chuckle. "I know what's going on in that naughty little mind of yours, but baby, I just got dressed, you sure you want me to take my clothes off RIGHT NOW?"
"I wasn't thinking about that!" She protested and turned around, facing him with a mock-pout.
"Of course baby, of course." He bent over and kissed her full on the lips. She responded eagerly, bending her knees to straddle his hips through the sheets. Her arms went around his neck, pressing him into the kiss. After a few minutes of intense making out, they pulled away just enough to be able to see each other's eyes. "I gotta go baby."
"Why?" She pouted, for real this time.
"Because I, for one, am hungry, and there's nothing to eat here."
"Fine, but get back soon." She relented, mostly because she was hungry too.
"I promise." He stood up and put on his shoes as Buffy made herself more comfortable, sitting against the headboard to watch him.
"I'll miss you." She stated, grinning shyly.
"I'll miss you too my slayer." He answered with a quick kiss on her lips. Then, with a last smile at Buffy, Angel grabbed his wallet and left.
*My slayer. He called me HIS SLAYER.* Buffy thought, a dreamy grin on her face. *That must be the most beautiful thing he ever told me, and he did it so naturally.* She was extremely relieved that Angel knew about her secret. And took it so well. Ok, so with him being a 'warrior' and all, the possibilities he would freak were way smaller, but...it felt really good that he took it well. *I'm his slayer. His. Key word: his. His his his his his his his..........HIS!!!!!* At that moment, she feared she would have a silly grin on her face the whole day. *Whatever, I'm his slayer.* Giggling like a little girl, Buffy got out of bed and out of the bedroom, wandering around the apartment. "There's nothing interesting in here...I'm gonna have to bully him into letting me hang stuff around." She told herself, entering the living room. She turned on the radio and looked around the shelves, thinking that Angel wouldn't mind.
//Incertain, je m'avance à grand pas, la vie m'ouvre ses bras
que ma fraicheur embrasse
que jeunesse se passe
il me faudra du temps et déjà je le prends
tant qu'il m'en est donné
il ne peut y avoir dans votre mémoire
qu'une image dépassée
Que vous dire si ce n'est que j'aime
et que tout ce que vous pensez
ne fera que mener les miennes
à ne jamais vous les dévoiler
que vous dire surtout pas le pire
elles ne sont que du même au pire
and I like it, I like it, oh yeah//
Buffy went through Angel's CD collection, seeing that he mostly had only depressing songs. *typical...* She then spotted an open drawer and bent down to check what was in it. Recognizing Angel's sketch pads. The slayer picked them up, all three of them. Then she felt something in the drawer and kneeled down to reach inside. She managed to get a hold on whatever it was. It was an older looking pad, all wrinkled and full of dust. *Tsk tsk tsk...he JUST moved in and didn't even bother dusting off his stuff during the move. Typical male...* She thought as she walked to the couch. She sat down on it, pulling a blanket over her body and taking a deep breath...the blanket smelled like Angel, the pillows smelled like Angel...everything here smelled like him...*his slayer* and here was the big grin again.
//Je connais le regard sur nos vies
mais l'on connait aussi
la chaleur qu'il inflige
à donner le vertige
à nos actes manqués
envers ceux qu'on aimait
puis-je enfin vous donner
plus que jamais je veux
me voir dans vos yeux
pour que vous puissiez savoir
Que vous dire si ce n'est que j'aime
et que tout ce que vous pensez
ne fera que mener les miennes
à ne jamais vous les dévoiler
que vous dire surtout pas le pire
elles ne sont que du même au pire
and I like it, I like it oh yeah//
Buffy went through the sketch pads, admiring his boyfriend's skills. He was truly gifted. He could represent so perfectly the emotions of whoever he was drawing. She smiled brightly, recognizing the drawing he had made of her while they were on the phone that night. She took the older looking pad, and noticed the date that he had written next to his signature on the corners. This one was about 6 years old. The lines were a lot more uncertain than on his newest sketches, and Buffy could tell that he had improved a lot since those days, but he had still kept the same style. She recognized a few of a 10 or so year old Kristin, where she had obviously modeled for her brother. Then, as she turned the pages, a photo fell on her lap. She picked it up and looked at it with a frown.
*What the hell?* It was an old picture of Angel and a blonde girl in bed, suspiciously naked, and they were about to kiss, with a big smile on both their faces. Then Buffy took a look at the page where the photo had been and saw a drawing of that picture. *Ugh...ex-girlfriend...how creepy is that? They can't be older than 14 in here...and here I am, a nearly 17 year old...to afraid to make love with him...jeez he must be so frustrated with me...* She flipped through the pages, seeing a lot of drawings of that same girl, until she froze and nearly dropped the pad in surprise. The drawing reflected so much anger, that it made her shiver slightly. It was that blonde girl again...but there was nothing sweet and cute about THIS drawing. Her eyes were so cold and empty, completely lifeless. She was lying in a strange position, her neck twisted...with 2 little holes on that neck. *Oh my god...that's the girl he told me about when he learnt about vampires...* The slayer realized, feeling the tears forming in her eyes, just thinking at the pain her boyfriend had felt. The drawings after that were really dark, a lot of them representing dead or injured people, children crying, eyes so devoid of emotions that she didn't resist the urge to close the book and put it right back where she had found it. At that point she started to understand just how much Angel had suffered and how many dark desperate periods in his past made him the man he was today. *I wish he was there so that I could hold him tight...and never ever let him go.*
She jumped in surprise when she heard a knocking on the door. Grinning, she went to open the door. "I thought you said I could stay in bed until" She trailed off...it wasn't Angel.
*****
Faith raised her eyebrows seeing the girl before her. *Let's see what we've got here...Girl? Check. Blonde? Check. Petite? Check. Half-nude? Check. Yeah, I'm definitely at Angel's.* The brunette thought, not even trying to hide her grin, as she looked the girl up and down. *She's a cute one, at least Angel's standards didn't change.*
Buffy had troubles finding her voice in front of that girl. She was a stunning brunette about her age, taller than her. She was wearing black leather pants that were dangerously low, and a leather jacket. She had dark make up on that made her look dangerous, with her long dark hair falling wildly around her face. Eventually, the slayer managed to find her voice. "Hum...Can I help you?"
"Sure." The brunette replied, crossing her arms in front of her chest and leaned against the door frame.
"If you're looking for Angel, he's not here right now, but"
"I'm sure he'll be back soon, don't worry girlfriend." Faith entered the apartment, and Buffy hesitantly closed the door behind her. She watched as the brunette shrugged off of her jacket, throwing it carelessly on the couch, revealing a black skimpy halter top that would make any guy drool. She looked around the apartment, touching Angel's stuff, and finally plopped down on the couch with her feet resting on the coffee table in front of her. "Faith." She suddenly exclaimed, as she turned the pages of one of Angel's books.
"Excuse me?"
Faith turned around and smiled friendlily at Buffy. "I'm Faith."
"Nice to meet you." Buffy replied politely, joining her in the living room. "I'm Buffy. You're one of Angel's friends who're supposed to come over today, right?"
"Yeah" Faith nodded. An awkward silence surrounded the room...well, at least for Buffy, Faith didn't seem too preoccupied by anything. "Was it your first time together?"
"Angel and I? First time what?" Buffy frowned.
"Yeah, and sex" Finally Faith raised her head, smirking at Buffy. "He's good, isn't he?"
"You mean for sex?" Buffy asked incredulously.
"No, I meant his drawing skills." Faith snapped sarcastically. "Of course I meant sex!"
"Well, I don't know, it could have been the drawing since he's good at that!" Buffy exclaimed defensively.
Faith looked surprise for a moment, then she stared at Buffy suspiciously. "How long have you known him?"
"Few months."
Angel never talked about his personal life or hobbies or anything with his one night stands. Which meant that he had found a replacement for Jess, Vanessa and the others. "So, you're the new fuck buddy. Interesting."
"What? What? I'm not his fuck buddy!"
"Whatever you say, B." Faith chuckled, thinking of the trouble Angel certainly came across to find his new gal. Maybe he had a couple others...he always was the cautious kind when it came to having sex.
Buffy was about to reply but the sound of the door interrupted her. She turned around and saw Angel coming in with a bag in his hands, laughing. That was one sexy sight...*Angel laughing...yum* He was followed by a tall bleached blond guy that was laughing as well. She was startled by Faith, who was looking at them too and whistled appreciably. "Check out the stud" She exclaimed, looking at Angel up and down.
"Gotta agree with you my love." Angel teased with a smirk as he put down the bag on the kitchen counter.
"Don't feel too self-conscious lover" She added as Angel crossed the room.
"Yeah, you wish." Faith scoffed, rolling her eyes.
"I missed you Faith." Angel stated with a sweet smile.
"I missed you too" She jumped off the couch and hugged him tight for a few minutes.
"At least we know we're at Angel's." Spike commented as he noticed the little blonde who was standing with her arms crossed against her chest, waiting for Angel to notice her as well.
"My thoughts exactly" Faith agreed, throwing a mock-offended look at Angel.
"Shut up you two" Angel mumbled as he let go of Faith and walked over Buffy. He placed a kiss on her forehead and slipped his arm around her waist, trying not to be distracted by her clothes...He felt strangely aroused when he saw her in his clothes. "Buffy, this is Spike, one of my best friends. And I guess you've met Faith."
"We've...met, yeah." She nodded with a nervous smile. "Maybe I should go get dressed" She suggested to Angel.
"I kinda like ya like that you know." He told her with a teasing smile.
"I don't doubt it, but it won't stop me from putting actual clothes on when your friends are here."
"Any way I can change your mind?" He asked, his bottom lip forming the cutest pout Buffy had ever seen.
"No"
"Fine, go. May I make a suggestion first?"
"Yeah" She frowned at him playfully.
"Well..." He started making lazy circles on her hands and pulled her tighter to him. "I was thinking that since I'm tired and it's always really exhausting to have to think a lot...you could wear something that doesn't require for me a great deal of thinking...you know, maybe something that leaves little to the imagination."
"You'd like that, huh? But I'm gonna see the others today. You'd be ok if Xander saw that much of me?"
"I'm not afraid of Xander."
"How about any guy in the street? Wouldn't you mind if they saw something and then they would be able to fantasize about it whenever they want?" Angel thought about it for a moment, then looked at her innocently.
"I could lock you up in my bedroom." Buffy rolled her eyes and Angel lowered his head, capturing her lips in a sweet long kiss.
"In your dreams" Buffy winked and walked away, leaving Angel staring at her with a silly grin.
"What the bloody fuck was that, Peaches?" Spike and Faith were sitting on the couch, Faith on her boyfriend's lap, and they were both watching Angel with a bewildered look.
"You know, we're used to see ya fool around with all your fuck buddies, but what's with all the fluffiness?" Faith explained when Angel frowned in confusion.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He replied innocently and walked to the kitchen, putting on the counter what he had bought for breakfast.
"What's wrong with him? He looks happy." Faith whispered in her boyfriend's ear, knowing fully well that Angel could hear her with his vampire hearing.
"Dunno pet, but with Blondie here, we're gonna find out soon enough."
*********