Title: Michael's Regret
Author: Ice
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Author's Note: The aliens never left and Michael and Maria never had that moment in Departure. And yes, unfortunately Alex is dead. :*-(
Was written before season 3.
'What am I doing? She's getting married. Why am I doing this?" Michael Gurien asked himself as he drove down 285 south on his way back to Roswell, New Mexico. 'It's been 6 years. Why am I doing this?' He couldn't answer himself; his high school love had found someone new and was getting married. He still loved her but did she love him? He wouldn't if he were her. Michael thought back to that night, the night he had left Roswell eight years ago. It seemed like such a long time ago. Maria had just fallen asleep when he realized. If he were with her she was in danger. As long as she was involved with him in any way. Her argument was that Max and Liz had each other, but he always shot back he loved her too much. Than she'd get all teary-eyed about losing him and they shared a passionate kiss. But that night eight years ago. Maria had just fallen asleep when Michael realized it was now or never. He wrote her a note, left it on his pillow, kissed his beloved goodbye and left. Michael had never forgiven himself for leaving the apartment they had shared since graduation. But as he always told her, he loved her too much to let her get hurt.
Michael pulled into the parking lot of the Crashdown, knowing from keeping in touch with Max, without him telling Maria, that he and Liz owned and lived above it. He walked inside smiling because nothing had really changed. Well, except for the fact there was eight years worth of new alien movie memorabilia on the walls. He walked to the back and straight towards the break/staff room door.
"Excuse me you can't go in there." A girl, about 7 or 8 was standing behind him. He turned and smiled as he saw the dark brown straight hair, and the chocolate brown eyes.
"Are you Bella Marie?" Michael asked the girl stooping down to her eye level. And pulling off his sunglasses. The girl nodded confused. Michael had known, from contact with Max, that he and Liz had had a daughter about a year after he left. Michael hadn't seen any pictures, but what other girl this young would tell him he can't go back there with those features?
"Bella, go get your dad for me?" She went into the back room and up the stairs leading to her home, as Michael went to the booth that the group always used as teens.
"Daddy! There's some guy downstairs asking for you!" Bella called into the apartment.
"Bella don't yell!" Liz yelled back. Max rolled his eyes and handed a 5 month old baby back to Isabel who was visiting with her husband. Then followed his daughter downstairs, stopping first to get the baby spit off his hands. Max walked into the diner, rubbing his hands on a towel, not looking at the, as he thought, disgruntled customer.
"Yes, can I…" Max trailed off as he lifted to head to see who he was talking to. Michael stood up and put his arms around his surrogate brother. "Michael what are we doing here? I'm glad you're here but…"
"I just felt it was time to come back. After all that time trying to get out of Roswell and go home, I realized this was my home." Max smiled at an obviously changed Michael.
"Daddy?" a voice came from behind Max.
"Oh, sorry sweetie. Bella, this is your Uncle Michael. He left before you were born."
"The one Aunt Maria always yells about?" Max winced.
"Uh. Yeah. Michael this is Bella Marie."
"So you're the one your Daddy's always bragging about." Bella blushed.
"Hi."
"Michael you should come upstairs, Liz and Izzy are up there. Actually it's the one night a week we all get together and have dinner."
"And don't forget about Alex!"
"Alex? Max?" Michael got a very confused and worried look on his face.
"The new baby."
"Wow. Why didn't you tell me about the baby?"
"I dunno." Max smiled and started towards the back and up the stairs. The three walked into the apartment, hearing laughter coming from the kitchen. Michael had missed that. The six of them laughing together, trying to forget they were hunted by the government. Max walked into the kitchen followed by Bella and then Michael. The laughter fell silent. Liz, Isabel, and Kyle looked at him in shock. Isabel was the first to recover from it.
"Michael!" She jumped out of her chair and tried to give Michael a big hug, but she was still holding the baby.
"Good to see you Michael." Kyle hugged him quickly.
"You too Kyle." Liz was still silent. She was the one that had to comfort Maria through everything and was the one that knew what he had truly done.
"Hi Liz." Liz put a fake smile on her face.
"Michael." He looked at Max, who shook his head slightly as if to say, don't press it.
"And who is this?" Michael asked looking at the baby.
"This is Alex." Bella said. Isabel face contorted into hurt than was all smiles again.
"Alexa Michelle Valenti," she corrected.
"Valenti? You guys got married?" Isabel and Kyle prepared for a meltdown, or yelling, or something. Michael had never really liked Kyle.
"Uh. Yeah, a few years ago." Kyle slowly said.
"Well congrats you two!" Michael hugged Isabel again and gave Kyle a hearty handshake. The rest looked at each other. This was not the Michael they knew.
"So Michael what are you doing here?" Liz asked. Everybody stared at her. "What?" Michael laughed.
"Truly? No clue. I was sitting in my apartment in L.A. and thinking about my life, something in me realized I've been to paranoid all my life. I know I've mellowed. Anyway, I had the urge to come back here. I'd never met Bella. I didn't even know that you guys got married or about Alexa," emphasizing the a for Isabel's sake, "I know that Maria is getting married. You don't have to hide it from me. But I needed to see her one last time." The group looked at him. This guy was actually happy that Isabel had married Kyle? Seemed okay with Maria, the love of his life marrying someone else?
"Actually Michael, tonight's our family dinner so Maria should be here soon." Liz said.
"And Tyler! Don't forget Tyler!" The adults looked at each other. 'Tyler must be her fiancée.' Michael thought. He cringed at the thought of another man being her fiancée. Then the group heard a knock on the door and the creek of it opening.
"Hello? Anyone home?" The voice was like a angles singing to Michael's ears. Like he hadn't heard anything for eight years. Clearing her voice, Liz called out,
"In here Maria!" The answer was a pair of thundering feet running towards the kitchen.
"Uncle Max! Uncle Max!" A little boy with brownish-blonde hair cried out running as fast as his little legs could carry him into the kitchen. Max picked him up and hugged the boy. Maria came in a few minutes later, followed by a tall man. She smiled saying hi to everyone and hugged Bella. Then she saw Michael. An expression of hate, anger, and love crossed over her face.
"Tyler come here." Max put him down and Tyler walked over to Maria, who still hadn't taken her eyes off the face from her past. "Go with Mark and put your jacket away. Ok?"
"Sure Mommy." 'Mommy?' Michael thought.
"Ria?" Mark had noticed the look on Maria's face and was now worried about who the dark haired stranger was.
"Everything's fine Mark. This is just an old friend." Maria kissed himly lightly, knowing she'd make Michael cringe. Mark left.
"You know Izzy? Let's go help Tyler and Mark."
"That's a good idea Kyle. Let's all go help Tyler and Mark." Max said, and ushered the clan out of the kitchen, pulling closed the folding door.
"Michael."
"Maria. You don't know how long I've wanted to see you again."
"Why. Did. You. Leave?" Maria answered calmly, too calmly for her.
"Didn't you get my note?" She reached into her purse and pulled out her wallet which, along with pictures of Tyler, Bella, Liz, Max, and Isabel and Kyle was the note.
"You mean this note?" He nodded stupidly.
"Yeah I got it. Michael you have no idea how hurt I was! I woke up and expected to see you and you weren't there. But this note was, supposedly explaining where you were! How the hell could you do this Michael?!" Maria was raising her voice now.
~~~Out in the Living Room~~~
Everyone was sitting stiffly in the living room. Though the four that knew Maria and Michael were doing what they do best. Fighting.
"Mommy I'm thirsty." Bella complained.
"Actually I am too. Why don't I…" Mark trailed off when Maria started yelling.
"Why don't we got down to the Crashdown to get everyone out early? If Michael's staying for dinner than we're gonna need more room." Max said, always the voice of reason. Everyone agreed and Liz, Kyle, and Isabel took Mark and Bella and Alexa downstairs, Tyler stayed with Max. Max looked at Tyler. This was not good.
~~In the Kitchen~~
"Maria, I was just trying to keep you safe! How could you not see that? I was trying to keep you safe! I love you and I didn't want to hurt you!" The anger was building up and he could feel old Michael shining through a little bit.
"You love me? You didn't want to hurt me? Then why'd you leave me when I was pregnant with your child?!?" Maria screamed at him. Michael looked at him shocked.
"My child? You mean Tyler?" Michael asked softly.
"His name…" Maria sat down on a kitchen chair, "Is Michael Tyler DeLuca. We stopped using Michael because, basically I gave up that you were every coming home. I was gonna tell you when I was sure. Which happened to be the day you left." Michael looked at her indisbelief.
"Oh Maria, if I had known…"he leaned against a kitchen counter.
"You know what grief I had to get from my mom? She knew this was gonna happen. The only reason we still have a semi-good relationship is that she had Jim to calm her down." She pointed a figure at him. "Besides you probably would have left anyway."
Michael didn't know what to say to that. In the living room Isabel and Max listened in shock. Tyler, worried, looked up at them and then ran into the kitchen and climbed onto Maria's lap. Michael watched. Now that he knew he saw a lot of himself in Tyler. His son.
"Mommy?" Tyler looked up at Maria, question in his eyes.
"Ty, I have something to tell you." The little boy looked from his mother to the stranger that had made her so angry.
"This is Michael, and he is your father." Tyler looked at Michael. 'The man did kind of did look like himself. And Mommy was always talking to Aunt Lizzie about a guy named Michael that had left.' Tyler thought to himself. Then a new thought crossed his mind.
"I thought Mark was gonna be my Daddy." 'Ouch.' Michael thought.
~~In the Living Room~~
Max listened from the living room, and turned when the door to the apartment opened. Isabel walked in. "Dinner's Ready," she mouthed. Max nodded and started walking towards the kitchen when he and Isabel heard the Mark daddy comment. Max cringed, and heard Maria say, "I'm not sure anymore Ty. I'm really not." The brother and sister looked at each other and kept walking toward the kitchen. Michael was leaning against a counter and Maria was still sitting at the table, Tyler on her lap. Isabel had to smile. Even with the scowls on their faces, this was the way it was supposed to be every week. The way they grew up. Michael, Maria, and Michael Tyler Gurien. Not Maria and Tyler with Mark. It wasn't right. This was.
"Guys? Dinner's ready." Max said. Tyler scrambled off Maria's lap and went downstairs.
"What's going on guys?" Isabel asked.
"Don't ask me I have no clue." Michael said gruffly looking at Maria. He should've expected this, of course she was mad at him. But she still loved him. If she didn't then she wouldn't have kept that note for eight years.
"Guys can I talk to Maria for a few more minutes? We'll be right down." Izzy and Max looked at Maria, who nodded. They left and Maria turned to Michael, waiting for him to explain.
"Maria. Don't say anything. Just listen. I left because at the time I thought that that was the right thing to do. If I had known you were pregnant with Tyler, we'd most likely be married right now, if not together in some way. Trust me. I still love you. I always will. And I know you love me still or you wouldn't have kept that note all these years. I know you'll never forgive me. But please try. I wanna stay Roswell. And no I didn't make that decision when I found out about Tyler. Check my car. It's filled with all my stuff. I'd been planning on moving back anyway. If you don't take me back I'll understand, but I want to be a part of Tyler's life. I have to be." He saw tears in Maria's eyes, although she was shaking her head.
"You sound totally different from the Michael I knew. But I can't take you back. Michael I'm engaged Dammit! You can't just expect me to let you back in my life like that. You just can't! I'll let you be part of Ty's life, not that you deserve it, but you are his father. Michael, I will always love you but right now…" He knew it.
"Is it fair to Mark that your in love with someone else? Is that fair to him?" Maria looked at him, scorn in her eyes.
"Is it fair to me that I lost the love of my life and now that I finally have happiness again he comes back? Is it fair that I had to raise our son basically by myself for eight years?" her voice was rising again, but Michael could tell she was trying to keep from yelling.
"No it wasn't Maria."
"Michael. I love you and always will. You gave me the best thing in my life. You are the father of Tyler and maybe farther down the road I'll feel differently. But right now…" she trailed off, but Michael knew. She was allowing him to be in Tyler's life but she was going to stay engaged to Mark. That was more than he had hoped when he came to Roswell. Michael nodded. "Alright."
"Alright." Maria stood up and went downstairs to the Crashdown. Everyone looked as the two walked into the room. Maria went to Tyler and Isabel went over and hugged Michael. He smiled at her, basically saying everything was all right. Isabel smiled back, she knew he was staying. For good.