YO YO! It's MEEEEEEEE! I got it all done and finished! Isn't it GREAT!? Okay… SO this is OKAY… and it feels good to be done… I hope you like… Lots of angsty stuff in here. Cause ya know it's all about the drama. So ENJOY! And I don't own Sailor Moon! Ja ne!
NOTES:
Yes I know Frank Sinatra wrote this song first. However, when I wrote the first part of this story, all I was listening to was Hikaru-sama's version. No, I didn't know this was from Evangilion (I can't spell… -_-;;) Thank you for enlarging my knowledge of Anime Music. Yes, I know this is also a Sailor Moon song. I have it, and enjoy it very much. Seiya is extremely good-looking… as is Keitaro-chan! ::Sighs::Fly Me To The Moon (By: Utada Hikaru)
Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Won't you let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words
Hold my hand
In other words
Darling kiss me
Fill my heart with song
And let me sing forever more
'Cause you are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words
Please be true
In other words
I love you
In other words
Please be true (Please be true… I just want you to be true)
In other words
I love you (I love you, I love you)
(To the moon)
Just take me to the moon and far
Usagi woke up… her body was heavy and stiff. She had fallen asleep on the couch and the patio door was opened. She swallowed hard as she held a hand to her head. What had happened last night?
She remembered beautiful eyes and a soft hands and lips. But that was all… She wondered where Mamoru was. Standing up, she walked around to the patio door and walked out, looking around for him. He was no where to be seen.
'Hm… Mamo-chan? Where are you?' She walked to the edge of the balcony and stared down at the city seven floors below her.
It had been about two and a half years since the end of Galaxia. Usagi had quickly learned that she couldn't just fool around anymore and brought her grades up quickly. She didn't graduate at the top of her class or anything… but she did get pretty decent grades, especially for her.
About six months ago, Usagi had bought this apartment and had been working part-time and going to college also. Mamoru and her were still deeply in love… or so she hoped. Mamoru, right now, was no where to be found. Even though she distinctly remembered inviting him over.
Last night was supposed to be their 'special night'. It would be five years since they had gotten together. Usagi wanted to celebrate… she was ready to be with Mamoru forever… but where in hell's name was he right now? She remembered him walking in the door… the two of them talking and eating diner… the champagne he brought… The kisses… dessert… Where was he!?
"Mamo-chan… where did you go?" She sighed irritably, walking back inside.
She looked down at the coffee table, a single red rose sat there. The beautiful color reminded her of any one but Mamoru.
'Seiya… I wonder how- SHUT UP USAGI!' She yelled at herself. 'You promised yourself never to think of him again! Don't break your promise!' Usagi looked at the rose and threw it on the ground, letting tears flow freely down her face.
It was true… since Seiya had left, she had pushed him out of her memory. She didn't want to remember all the good times… all the bad times… everything that made him special. She wanted none of it. Her heart ached painfully in her chest whenever she thought of him, and an uncontrollable, unquenchable feeling of need and loss washed over her. The feeling was so strong, she could go into a state of deep depression for days… sometimes even weeks.
The only way to stop the pain was to cut him from her life. Push back any emotion, memory, or thought pertaining to anything… him. In doing so, her emotions stacked on upon another, never letting loose, never venting. This was causing some major psychological problems in Usagi. She'd been doing this for two years now and everything was just getting worse, instead of going away.
"Damnit!" Usagi cried wiping tears away with the back of her hand.
She grabbed the phone and quickly dialed Mamoru's phone number. She needed to hear his voice… she needed to know he still loved her.
Ring
No answer yet…
Ring
Come on, Mamoru…
Ring
Answer the damn phone!
Rin-click
"Moshi-Moshi?" His deep voice said to her. It sounded heavy and scratchy, it sounded as if he was sick or… upset?
"Mamo-chan!" Usagi smiled, "Where did you go last night? All I remember is waking up on the couch… was I that tired?"
Mamoru had come to the conclusion that she had a buzz last night and had hallucinated Seiya in Mamoru's place… that resulting in everything she had spoke to him last night. He couldn't tell her what had happened… he didn't want her to be upset. He just wanted her to be happy…
"Yeah," He lied. It hurt to talk, his chest was heavy and his eyes seemed dry and tired, "You fell asleep after desert. I guess work was a little too much for you last night, ne?"
"I guess so… huh… why didn't you stay?" Usagi questioned.
Mamoru forced a laugh, "I had some work that needed to be done… don't worry Usagi. We can get together again."
'Lie… Lie… Lie… Don't lie to her Mamoru… you know what's going to happen now…' He swallowed hard.
"How about tonight?" She said flirtatiously.
"I… I can't… Usako… I got called away on a business trip for a few days so…" Mamoru forced out.
Usagi seemed shocked, "What? Really? That's odd… you've never been called away before." There was a pause, "I wanted us to… be together… you know… for our fifth anniversary…"
Mamoru knew this… Usagi had everything planned out for last night… but he couldn't go through with it. Not after her hallucinogenic fiasco. Not after discovering that she loved another…
"I know, Usako… but this is really important…"
He'd contacted Pluto after he got home, the night before… tonight he was going away…
"I wish you didn't have to go," She sounded really disappointed.
"Usagi… do you ever think about the Starlights?" Mamoru asked very suddenly. He could hear Usagi gasp softly and make struggling noises… As if she were fighting a demon within herself.
"I guess…" She said carefully, "On occasion… What brought that up?" She never wanted to remember those times! What made him say that!?
Mamoru didn't answer, but only asked her another question, "Do you ever wonder what would have happened if Seiya was still here?"
This time he could swear Usagi was crying almost silently on the other line. He hated to make her cry, it ripped his soul out, but this had to be done. He had to know…
"I… Nothing would have happened. Even if I thought about it… I love you, Mamo-chan," She said. Her voice was cracking slightly. Mamoru felt his body go numb with an emotional pain as he heard her confused voice… he had to do this…
Mamoru pushed farther with the questions. He didn't want to do this… but it had to be done. He took a slow ragged breath as he spoke, "Usako… I know the way Seiya felt about you… I know what happened when I wasn't here… Seiya was in love with you and you want to tell me if he stayed, that nothing would have gone on?"
Usagi was now sobbing heavily, "SHUT UP MAMORU!" This was the first time she'd ever really yelled at him, let alone called him 'Mamoru'. He was shocked… but it had answered everything in his mind. Every question… every doubt…
Mamoru forced back tears of his own, "I see…" Everything was confirmed… and so… he left tonight. He wished it couldn't be this way… He wished so many things, but wishing never accomplished anything.
"Oh… Mamoru…" Usagi sobbed, "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to yell… It's just been-"
"Usako… Please… I want you to be happy…" Mamoru said, choking down his own sobs. He had to be brave, he had to be able to stand tall.
"I am happy… with you…"
Mamoru was quiet for a long while, then he finally spoke, "I have to go. I'll see you in a few days, Usagi…"
"Ma-" CLICK. Mamoru had hung up on her and now she was lost and confused.
She loved Mamoru! And he… he… he had accused her of loving Seiya! She couldn't STAND SEIYA! Everything about him! He was the most annoying, ill-mannered, arrogant person she had ever met! She couldn't take anything about him! His teasing, almost… playful eyes. His deep… sumptuous voice. The way he was always around her… joking… laughing… smiling…
"Sei…ya…" She sobbed heavily into her hands as she dropped to the floor. "Seiya! Oh… GODS! Seiya…"
Mamoru looked up at the red sky. His heart was still heavy from the morning call from Usagi. Nothing was ever going to be the same…
"Mamoru-san?" Said a chiming voice from the door. He turned and bowed deeply to the woman.
"Konnichiwa, Kakyuu-hime…" He said, bowing deeply.
"Konnichiwa, Mamoru-san," She bowed in response. "I understand from Pluto that you wished to talk to me?"
Kakyuu was a very beautiful woman. She had fire-red hair and deep garnet eyes. She was very soothing to be around, it seemed like an air of placidity hung around her, touching everything in the room.
"I did, Princess," Mamoru felt tears come to his eyes again. He swallowed hard and looked away, "It's about Sailor Moon."
Kakyuu smiled softly, "Serenity? I have a feeling I know what this is about."
"Seiya…" Mamoru choked.
Kakyuu nodded slowly, "Hai… Fighter hasn't been herself since she came back."
Mamoru looked up at her sadly, "Usagi… accidentally told me her feelings for Seiya… I had to come here…"
"For closure?"
"No…" Mamoru fought back more tears, "I'm asking you, Kakyuu, to let me have Fighter… I want Usagi to be happy… even if it's not with me."
"That is… the most unselfish act…" Even Kakyuu was moved by his love for Usagi. "Are you sure Usagi wants to have Fighter back?"
Mamoru nodded slowly, "Yes… I can feel it… She loves me… but it's not the same kind of love as what she has for Seiya…" Tears fell down his cheeks.
"Mamoru…" Kakyuu bent forward and hugged the crying man. "You have done something wonderful… I know it's hard… but it's going to be all right."
"I know…" Mamoru said, fighting back sobs. "I just… need Seiya…"
"Are you sure this is what you want?" Kakyuu questioned, pulling away. Mamoru nodded.
"She loves him…"
Kakyuu nodded slowly, "Wait here…" she turned and left, leaving Mamoru alone with his thoughts.
Usagi looked over the balcony, tears rolling down her cheeks… what was wrong with Mamoru? She loved him! She LOVED him! Maybe… Maybe he didn't love her…
Maybe this was the end of it all… Usagi looked at the ground below her, her stomach churning.
Maybe it just wasn't worth it… If Mamoru didn't love her… and Seiya couldn't love her… Damn that name! It was always about him! Wasn't it!?
No matter… the name would never bother her again… Nor would any of her problems…
A beautiful woman dressed in black leather walked into the room. She gasped when she saw the handsome man standing in the middle of it.
"Mamoru-san…" She whispered, shocked to see him here.
"Fighter…" Mamoru said stiffly. "I… do you love Usagi?"
Fighter looked surprised… should she lie? Lie to Mamoru-san? "I…" No… She had to tell the truth, "Yes… I love her. With all my heart…"
Mamoru nodded, tears coming to his eyes again, "Then… Seiya… please… go to Usagi. She loves you… and… I want her to be happy."
Fighter looked shocked, "Mamoru-san… she loves you!"
Mamoru nodded, "Yes… she does… but not the way she loves you, Seiya… She loves you… go to her… make her happy… please…"
Fighter looked at Kakyuu-hime, who only smiled and nodded, "Just come back for a visit…" She jumped forward and hugged her favorite Senshi. "Now go… go to the one you love, Seiya…"
Seiya swallowed hard and looked at Mamoru, who fought to show a smile to him.
"It's okay… you love her. Just take care of her… she's precious…"
"I know…" Fighter let tears fall down her cheeks, "I know…"
'All over…' Usagi thought as she stood on the railing of her balcony and looked down. at all the people. A funny way to end it… but it was going to feel better when it was done with.
'I love you Mamoru… I love you Seiya… I hate you life…'
She raised one foot and-
"ODANGO!" A voice called sharply from behind her. Usagi fell backward in shock and surprise, her body slamming harshly onto the concrete of her balcony. She groaned loudly and held her head.
"Nani…" She sighed, trying to sit up. Beautiful eyes glittered in the starlight above her head. She tried to focus her vision on them, but it didn't come. She sat there staring at the unfocused face.
"Odango… Oh my god… are you alright?" Gentle hands slipped under her fallen body and picked her up to take her back inside.
Usagi let herself become unconscious… not fighting the darkness anymore.
Usagi's eyes drifted open to view a handsome face with sparkling indigo eyes and rich, full lips, that tugged into a worried smile. She felt a warm wet washcloth on her forehead, and covers covering her body. A soft pillow propped her head up, allowing her to view the kneeling person next to her more clearly.
"Odango…" He touched her face softly, his fingertips running over her lips,
"S… Seiya?" She questioned, tears falling from her eyes.
A smile appeared on his face, "Hai…" He leaned forward, playing with her hair, and looking deeply into her beautiful eyes.
Usagi tried to calm her pounding heart… what was he doing back!? HE WAS HERE!! SEIYA WAS BACK!!
"Odango… what were you trying to do?" He asked suddenly, and sternly.
Usagi immediately felt sheepish and stupid. She averted his eyes.. feeling shame was over her coldly. "I… I…" Usagi swallowed hard, "Nothing…"
"I'd say it was a lot more then nothing…" Seiya said, looking at her sternly.
Usagi suddenly decided to have a few words of her own said, "Seiya, what are you doing back!" She sat up, a pain running through her spine. She didn't care… he was back! She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, pulling him into a tight hug.
"I came back for you…" He smiled, and pulled away to take hand and pressed it against his cheek. "Odango… I've missed you more then you know…" He wanted to cry right now… Usagi wanted him to be here… she wanted him.
"Seiya… I've missed you too…" She felt tears fall thickly down her cheeks. He was here… he was back… FOR HER!!
She grasped his hand tightly and suddenly, pulling him closer to herself. The tears felt good coming from her eyes. She loved the feel of him being back… his sweet words, kisses… and all… SHE LOVED HIM!
"Seiya… Oh gods Seiya…" She pulled and grabbed his shirt collar to pull his face to hers, then she kissed him passionately.
His arms wrapped tightly around her waist as she moaned into his mouth. She pulled away as sudden as she had begun, and began sobbing heavily.
"I can't be with you, Seiya… not matter how much I want to…" Tears fell down her cheeks again, but this time they didn't feel good. The burned like acid.
"Usagi…" came a deep voice from the hallway. Usagi and Seiya turned sharply to see his smiling face, soaked with tears, "You love him… I want you to be happy. That's all I want…"
Mamoru stepped into the light of Usagi's bedroom… it was odd to know that last night… had Usagi not been hallucinogenic… he would have woken up here… but this was better. She loved him… and Mamoru was only concerned for her happiness.
"But… Mamo-chan!" She immediately protested, "I love you…! I…" She had seen her fault in words as Seiya's face fell, but he didn't move.
"Usagi… you love him… Don't lie to me or yourself. It's okay, he loves you… deeply. Be happy for that. Now, you no longer have destiny to ridicule you… Love him is all I ask… be happy… Be happy with him. I know this is what you want…" Tears flowed swiftly down his cheeks as he smiled again at Usagi, "Love each other."
Seiya and Usagi smiled at each other, then embraced tightly.
Mamoru smiled at Seiya, as they pulled away, "Take care of her… She loves you… " Then he turned to Usagi, "I love you, Usagi… I always will. This is why I want you to be happy with him…" He kissed Usagi's cheeks lightly, then smiled, turned and left.
"I-" Seiya called after him, but was quickly silenced as Usagi pressed her lips to his again. Mamoru was now content as he watched this scene from the shadows. Usagi was happy… and that was all that mattered.