Disclaimer: I do not own it…you know it…I know it. Lets not talk about it than
Timeline: End of season 3 of Atvs…
Pairing: I don't remember…
A/N: Please leave a few reviews …I wrote this a while ago …when I was cleaning my hard drive I stumbled upon it and decided to post it.
I can't believe the event of the past few days. Angel loves me. And I love him but I cannot be with him. How unfair is this? To come at the time where I thought nothing in my life could be more perfect. I have my son Connor back and Angel Loves me. OF course I did not know that till Groo told me that I was in love with him but who cares. He feels the same for me. WE finish each other's sentences, we laugh at the same jokes. We are so meant to be. WE are!!! Than why can't I brush that awkward feeling that I have? Why am I still thinking about her? I saw her there that day when I came back. Angel and I did not even mention her when she left. I am not even sure he realized that she had been there. Maybe he did but now it is kind of trivial to bring that up. So what she had been the love of his life, now it was me.
I love him and he loves me. This is so great!!! I could shout out of joy if it was not for the fact that he does not know yet. And that he might never know. I have to live now and be a champion in another plane. I can't believe I am a champion like he is. Like her. Did she have to make such sacrifices? She did. More than once. She gave her life for this fight. Will I be strong enough for this? I love him though. Why can't I tell him how I feel first? She got to love him and be with him for a little while why can't I? We have our boy back. Wee can be a family. I so want that.
Did she get that? No! She lost him, her mother, she lost a lot and she will always make sacrifices. All they are asking of me is to wait a while before telling him how I feel. He will still be here when I come back. He was here when I got back from my vacation with Groo. "But she was there holding him, wasn't she?" Yes she was there. She felt is sorrow and I did not. But he loves me and I love him.
I am going to be strong and go. I already know that I have to go. That is what she would do. I can't believe I am trying to be more like her. A champion. I can't believe I am one. I was just a seer, now I am a champion, fighting the good fight. I will do it. I will go.
"I love you Angel" I think as I go up towards the sky. And than I think of her, fighting in Sunnydale. IT is partly because of her that I am going here today. There used to be a time where I would have blamed her. Not now, not anymore, not ever.
"Thank you," Buffy for changing my life, and Angel for making me a champion.