Author's Note: Okay. Thank you to everyone who reviewed. It was very nice of you. But in response, I'd like to say a few things:
1. The fact that Paris is a maid has nothing to do with how much I like or don't like the character. It was quite a respectable position back then, and how else was I going to get Paris into this story?…Don't answer that….
2. As far as I'm concerned, there are no deeper meanings. This is just a fun, semi-improv fic. I'm not planning it, I don't know where it's going (other than all my fav pairings), and I don't know how it's going to end. However, you can read more meaning into it if you like, but it's your own doing, so don't tell me that I did it deliberately. …
Um, I think that's it. Oh well. Here's the next chapter!
~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 2 The Smiling Pirate
The pounding on their door woke them late that night. "What's wrong?" Rory demanded, watching her mother pull on a robe and go to answer the door.
"I do not know," Lorelai said. "Who is it?" she called through the door.
"It's me, Byron James. Please, you have to let us in, it's an emergency."
"Us?" Lorelai demanded, ever wary.
"The cabin boy and I."
Lorelai unbolted the door while Paris and Rory both climbed out of bed and slipped into robes. "What's going on?" Lorelai demanded.
James and Tom slipped inside. "The ship is unsafe," he told them. "You have enough time to dress and pack up, but we must get off this ship tonight. Come dawn, there will be nothing left but water."
"What do you mean, 'unsafe?'" Paris demanded, nevertheless pulling out the smallest trunk and beginning to pack.
"The ship is sinking."
"What?" Rory spoke up for the first time. "I knew it!" she said excitedly to herself. "I knew this ship didn't look entirely seaworthy." She tossed her books in the trunk along with another sturdy dress. "If you'll excuse us, gentlemen," she said stiffly. "We must get dressed. We'll be on deck in five minutes."
They were as good as their word, and were soon climbing the stairs. "It's so quiet," Lorelai noted, frowning. "It's not supposed to be this quiet in an emergency."
"We are the last people on board," James said grimly.
"What!" Rory shrieked.
"The captain and the first mate took the rest of the crew in the lifeboats," James said. He was setting up what looked like sticks, and digging in his pack for flint steel.
"Then what are we going to do?" Lorelai asked.
"How could they abandon their ship like that?" Rory demanded.
"How could they abandon their passengers like that?" Paris said.
"This is not their ship," James said, still sounding grim, striking the flint with a dagger. "This ship was stolen several years ago by the crew manning it. They never went into dry dock for repairs because they wouldn't be able to escape easily if the real owner showed up. The ship fell into disrepair. If it's any consolation, I doubt they intended to sail you all the way to England anyway."
"Your accent changed!" Paris said suddenly, and Rory and Lorelai realized it had: from upper to lower-class British. "Who are you, really?" she demanded, then jumped back, startled, as one of the sticks James had been attempting to light shot up into the air, and exploded into colorful sparks.
"My name is James White," he said. "Now we wait."
The five of them stood in silence for a long time. "What would they have done with us?" Lorelai finally ventured to ask.
"They'd have thrown you overboard and looted your possessions," James said dispassionately. "But their plans were thwarted when the load they were carrying got to be too much for the damaged hull."
"What load?" Rory asked. "I saw no cargo when Tom took me on a tour of the boat."
"You only saw the first hull," James said. "The second hull is where they keep all the things they've stolen in the past few months they haven't had the chance to dispose of yet. There's quite a lot of money down there."
"They must have been very nervous about the ship to abandon it like that," Paris murmured. "What are we waiting for?"
"Our transfer ship," James said, and refused to elaborate. "We're safe enough for the time being. The ship won't finish sinking for some hours, yet, and we'll be long gone by then."
"Why didn't they know that? And how did you know this?" Lorelai asked, suspicious.
"I knew because I was awake when they came to check that I was still asleep. I faked sleeping, and heard them talking of abandoning the ship. One of them argued about leaving the loot behind, and he was killed."
The three women gasped in horror. "But, we saw no one…." Rory said.
"No, you didn't. I put him in my cabin. Then I fetched Tom and you three, and now we're getting off this sinking barge."
There didn't seem to be anything left to say, so they settled to wait.
It wasn't long before a ship's lantern appeared as if by magic. The ship pulled up beside them and lowered planks for them to walk across. "Ahoy!" called a voice from the other ship, and many people were shown on the decks.
"Ahoy!" James called jovially. "Surprised?"
"You better bloody well believe it!" A young man stepped up and crossed the planks without wavering in the slightest. Rory studied his silhouette in the dim lantern light. He wasn't an extraordinarily tall man, but he was muscled.
"'Ey there, Captain," James said respectfully. "We've got ladies present." He gestured to Lorelai, Rory and Paris.
"What is going on here, Jamie?" the Captain asked, sounding worried about the women's presence.
"The rats abandoned ship, Captain, leaving us stranded here."
The Captain began cursing, and Lorelai gasped, "Sir! It would please you to watch your language!"
This made the men surrounding them laugh heartily. "That's right, Cap'ain," someone chimed in from the boat. Rory turned her head in surprise to find a small woman follow her captain across the planks. She was interested rather than appalled that the woman wore breeches and a man's shirt, instead of proper women's wear. "You should remember us ladies when you're thinking of what to say."
"Duly noted, Lane," the captain said. "Forgive my language, ladies," he added, and swept into a bow in their direction. "I meant no disrespect. It is merely unfortunate timing. Cunningham, Porter, Kingsman, Terence, go unload the hull. Danes, go find whatever is edible in the galley, if anything." Five men went silently past the group on deck.
"Ladies, I'm pleased escort you aboard," the captain said. He crooked his arm, and seeing no reason not to, Rory took his elbow and allowed him to steady her across the planks to the other ship.
"Sir," she said. "I'm afraid I've yet to learn your name. Or the name of your ship," she added, squinting around to the spots of light left by lanterns.
"Forgive me," James said, holding Paris' arm across the boards. "Captain, this is Miss Rory Hayden, Mrs. Lorelai Hayden, and Miss Paris Gellar. Ladies, this is Captain Jess Mariano."
Rory recoiled, jerking her arm from his grasp. She drew towards her mother and Paris. She said nothing, just looked around in horror. "Ah, you've heard of me," the captain said, sounding disappointed. "Then you know my ship as well, The Serpent."
"You're the Smiling Pirate," Lorelai said, aghast. Of course she'd heard of the notorious pirate. He'd stolen thousands of dollars worth of bounty from ships heading to and from England and the colonies. He was notorious only for his theft, however, and not for undue violence. He never attacked people or held them hostage. Most times he would maroon them on an island where there was traffic, making sure they had enough food to last them for some time. That's why he was the Smiling Pirate: he was so polite about it.
"A pleasure to meet you," the captain said. "We'll be off just as soon as my men are finished unloading this unworthy vessel." His tone turned disgusted as he turned back to look at their ship.
"In the meantime," James said, "I'd like to introduce Lane Kim, the captain's first mate."
The small woman stepped forward and smiled, her face clearly illuminated by her lantern. "A woman?" Lorelai asked, intrigued.
Lane continued to smile, unoffended. "Indeed. Most nobody can believe it."
"Where are you from?"
"What you people would call the Indies," she said. "My people called it home." Though her features were foreign, her accent was English, almost the same as James'.
"Fascinating," Lorelai said, secure in the knowledge she was aboard a ship with a woman on it: surely they were in no danger.
"Now, ladies," the captain said. "I want to make it clear you are not hostages. In fact, I would be happy to continue to escort you across the ocean to where you were originally traveling."
"For how much?" Paris asked, always shrewd and never afraid to speak up.
"Nothing," he said.
"You're going to sail us to England for nothing?" Rory asked. "You expect us to merely take you at your word?"
"My word," the captain snapped, expression turning cold, "is gold."
"Oh dear," Lorelai said. "I think you managed to offend the pirate." She waited a moment before saying, "Well done, dear."
Rory glared momentarily at her mother, in no mood for her particular brand of humor. "Captain?" she called to his retreating back. "What will you accept as payment? We insist we compensate you for your trouble."
She knew she'd said something unwise as the captain turned around, and what could only be described as a smirk was on his face, almost eerily lit by the lantern's glow. "Within proper bounds, of course," she added, unconsciously taking a step back and blushing furiously.
"Then I ask only your silence. When that atrocity," he added, grimacing in the direction of their sinking ship, "is listed as missing, you will deny you ever booked passage on it."
"But that will be difficult," Lorelai said.
"I believe you are intelligent women," he said, almost a backhanded compliment. "Now, Lane will show you to your quarters. I believe the accommodations will be to your liking." He turned on his heel and disappeared through a door.
"And he's supposed to be polite," Paris murmured.
"Not that way," Lane said, almost chuckling. "Believe me. That man can be as rude as they come. He just doesn't like killing people who don't give him a reason to."
"That makes me feel better," Lorelai said, sarcasm thick in her voice. "Well, lead on, Miss Kim."