~*~(3)~(3)~*~

I slid my hands into my pants pocket, my fingertips grazing along the thin linen of the fabric.  Somewhere I still had doubts about leaving for Metropolis but I regarded it as a penniless thought, for I was always unsure about doing things suggested by others.  But besides that, things just didn't seem right around here.  Or was it me?  Lately I've been noticing my thoughts about everything bypassed and experienced in this past year of my knowing Clark have changed…a lot.  He claims to be normal and to have jumped off the bridge to save me…and then there was that one incident where I did see him hurt, did witness the bruises…but now, come to think of it, he got well extremely fast…in fact, in less than a week.  Part of me wants to believe him…but I still find myself doubting him, and I know it's wrong.  I should be happy I know a man like Clark…everything we've been through, everything he's found out about me, and we're still as close as we are…and all I've done to him is lie…I don't even think he's lied to me once…

I walked over to my closet and began to leaf through the suits hanging, the legs of the pants of each suit dropping down beneath the suit top, reminding me of a corpse.  The soft cloth of the clothing ran over my hand smoothly as I pushed several suits apart, finding the bunch that I wanted.  Pushing the hangers up and off the pole they hung on, I turned around and faced my long suit case, my eyes running over the indentions in the brown leather.

I truly think I'll never be completely honest with Clark until he tells me what's going on and I don't get that pang in my stomach that suggests he's lying, but then again, maybe that's how he feels about me: that he'll never be able to talk to me like he wants to until I'm completely honest with him.

I ran my hand over the coarse cotton of my suits before slipping them into the case, placing the hangers on the metal rod, which ran from one side of the case to the other.  Turning around, I opened the closet doors to my wall shoe holder, picking out the dress shoes I might wear while I was away.  But this was all unnecessary; I knew that when I got there I probably wouldn't do anything, but just what I felt like doing, which included staying in my hotel room.  There, I'd have access to a computer, and could stay on it all day…of course until it was time to visit the convention; had to make an appearance there…a lot of people already expected me to show up.

I stuck my middle and forefingers down in the tops of two light gray shoes with small-darkened squares of gray on them.  Taking the shoes I carefully placed them in the case.  After taking four more pairs of dress shoes and packing them the same way as I had done the first, I took the case's zipper in between my thumb and forefinger, pulling up slightly, closing the bag.

That was all I needed to do now, all that was left was putting the bag into my car and driving to Metropolis, which, when taking the back roads, was only about less than half an hour away.  In less than thirty minutes, I could be in my hotel, relaxed and unpacked.  Even in my head the very thought seemed unrealistic and untrue, but the deal had already been sealed, I'd only to follow thorough with it now.

I grabbed the suitcase, picking up my computer bag and slinging in over my left shoulder while the suitcase lay on my right.  As I passed through doors, I locked them behind me, setting down my things in order to do so.

Making my way outside I opened up the trunk then laid the long case down flat, placing the computer bag upright on top.  Slamming the door shut, I pulled the keys out my pocket slowly, walking around to the drivers' side, my eyes falling over the mansion.  Even from the outside I could still make out every room in the house, every passageway and hallway.  Looking off to the left side of the building I could see the gates open and waiting, the doors for my freedom.  Some would say the house was big enough for me to get lost in, yet, I still found myself wishing for more space.

I squinted my eyes against the blaring sun sitting at high noon in the sky as I opened up the drivers' side door and sat myself down, one leg still out while I gripped the steering wheel, staring out at the mansion still.

The coarse bricks on the outside were dimmed and slightly green with the vines of leaves running up and down their sides.  The garden along the front wall close to the entrance was blooming with different color roses, their scent so pungent it still stung my nose through our distance.  The air smelled of freshly mowed lawn grass, the grass covering the front of he mansion being short, even, and green.

It seemed so…friendly, homey, like a happy family of rich kids loved by their parents lived there, and that in the spring after the snow melted from the winter the kids could be seen playing outside in the grass with their friends from school and with their dog, a small overweight but still active Shepard that had many pups in its life time.  A small table would be positioned next to the doors with a sun shield positioned over it blocking the sun's glorious rays from heating the red kool-aid in the fat sweating pitchers resting atop the table.  Empty chairs would be sitting next to the table, awaiting the kids' moment of return when they figured the sun to be to scorching or if they just fell tired from the running and shouting in the cool crisp air.

I snapped back to reality, pulling my other leg inside the car.  The image was almost enough to bring a tear to my ear, yet it didn't. 

Shoving the key in the ignition I turned it quickly, loving the way the engine veered up and jolted fast as I pressed on the accelerator, speeding out the open gates to my prison and watching them close slowly behind through the dust flinging up as results from the movement of my car.