Title: Sweet Dreams
Author: myobsession
Warnings: yaoi, citrus-y, m/m, hints of past 1+R, 1x2 (past, present), angst, Heero torture, language.
A/n: this is kind of a dreamfic (if there is such thing) fluffy at the end.
"Heero?" Duo asked, in the dark of the night. He rolled over, rustling the sheets, facing the other boy.
Heero refused to look at him.
"What's wrong, baby?" Duo asked smoothly, running his fingers through Heero's dark chestnut hair.
"Nothing." came the blank reply.
I wish…I wish you loved me.
-In order to forget,
I always
had one encounter after another...
They did me a favor
by making me aware of such pain...
Those warm tears…-
I never knew what pain was…I never knew what suffering was…I never knew…loneliness…but now I do.
- I'm getting used to
the loneliness,
ever since I was born.
But within those arms
that opened up before my eyes,
my heart spontaneously trembles. -
Quatre told me…he told me I was in love. But this is not love. I love, but I am not loved. That's the only problem...Sex isn't love either.
- I feel the future
unfolding
Because of love
Strong and gentle
Embracing
pieces of feelings
that are, for some reason, painful. -
"Heero…we-ah…well we need to talk." Heero looked up from his laptop at the long-haired boy. You could see in his eyes he knew what was coming.
"About what?" he asked calmly.
"Uh…well…" Duo stammered.
"The problem is Duo…" Heero began, interrupting. "I don't have anything to say."
Duo's mouth dropped. "Hey, man." he said pointing to himself. "I'm the one who's breaking this…this thing off!"
"You are such a SLUT Duo." Heero growled.
"How-how can you say that?" Duo gasped. He could feel tears forming in the corners of his deep violet eyes.
"What we had…" Heero started, not being able to finish.
"What was it to you Heero, huh? Did it mean something to you MORE than just casual sex cause I'm not understanding."
"You…you …made me feel…" Heero found the words lost in his throat.
"Well isn't this touching…Perfect Soldier knows what it's like to feel pleasure." Duo said, narrowing his eyes in anger.
"…feel human again…"
There was a brief suspended silence in the air as Duo gaped, eyes softening.
"Did I just hear you right?"
- For the first time, I want to try
starting from a smile
and something changes
here in my heart -
"You…I-changed…me." Heero said quietly.
"And it got me thinking…about how much I missed…being…normal…Just a guy…Just Heero."
A sudden outburst from Duo broke his monologue. "You are full of SHIT man. You really are. You scare me ya know Heero? I mean great in bed, but you need to work some of these issues out. Seriously…" He got up from the chair he was leaning on to walk out of the door.
Are you afraid?
Yes…
- One can be a word that counts as lonely
Two can be as lonely as each can be
Searching and pretending
As we wander through this world
Can we ever know
Where hearts go -
Yuy…
"Quatre…have you ever cried before?" Heero asked innocently.
Quatre gasped, sensing the hidden meaning in his question.
"What happened?"
"Duo left." Heero said with his head hung.
"I-I cried. I don't know…don't know what happened. But I did…tell him."
"Told him what?" the Arabian asked
"Told him how I felt."
"And how do you feel Heero?"
There was a pause.
"Human…"
- What's done is done, it feels so bad
what once was happy now is sad
I'll never love again
my world is ending -
Don't be afraid.
Please…
- pieces of feelings
that are, for some reason, painful. -
-One can be a word that counts as lonely -
- By making me aware of such pain… -
Those warm tears…
"Love is a place you'll never see…"
"Never…"
I can hardly smile.
~~~
//
"Duo what are you doing?"
"Kissing you, what does it look like?"
"W-why?"
"Because you're so damn hot…and you turn…me on…so fucking MUCH."
"O-oh…"
//
~~~
- I know that I called never love again
I've lost everything
everything
that matters to me,
matter in this world -
Duo Maxwell likes to cuddle after sex. He favors his left hand. He fires with his right. He's loud, noisy, and obnoxious, a 24/7 chatter-box. Duo loves the smell of vanilla, loves to wake up and go to bed late. He has a secret passion for dancing. His favorite color is gold, but he loves to wear black. He told me…he told me once that his one wish in the entire world was to see Solo again.
My one wish in the world you ask?
To feel again. To be able to laugh, smile, to love. I want to love. But love is a place I'll never see.
Duo…duo's afraid.
"What are you afraid of?"
"Losing…"
- It wasn't you at all
Hide behind a painted smile, did you know that
You would live a lie or two
Pull the very ground from under you
And leave you nowhere else to run
You can sail the seven seas and find
Love is a place you'll never see
Passing you like a summer breeze
You feel life has no other reason to be
You can wait a million years and find
That heaven's too far away from you
Love's just a thing others do -
"Losing what?"
"…everything…I've lost so much."
- I can never be what you need
If there was a way, through the hurt
then I would find it I'd take the blows.
Yes I would fight it
But this is the one
Impossible dream to love
What am I, if I can't be yours.
It can't be yours -
"Duo…?" Heero said, turning back towards the other body in his bed.
"Yea?"
"Can we stay here forever…?"
"Sure baby…"
- could we stay right here
until the end of time until the earth stops turning
gonna love you until the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for
all this time I've loved you
and never known your face
all this time I've missed you
and searched this human race
here is true peace
here my heart knows calm
safe in your soul
bathed in your sighs
wanna stay right here
until the end of time
all I've known
all I've done
all I've felt was leading to this
all I've known
all I've done
all I've felt was leading to this
gonna stay right here
'till the end of time 'till the earth stops turning
I'm gonna love you 'till the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for
the one I've waited for -
Duo gathered Heero in his arms protectively and let his violet eyes flutter closed.
- still in my heart this moment
or it might burst
could we stay right here -
Heero Yuy likes to cuddle after sex…if your name is Duo Maxwell. He favors either hand. He is quiet, introverted, and his work is his life. He loves the smell of Duo's cologne, loves to wake up and going to sleep any hour of the day or night, as long as it's with Duo. He wants no more than to just fit in with everyone. He has a secret passion for dancing…but the only one who's seen him do it is Duo. His favorite color is purple. He said the one thing he wanted was to be human again…Duo makes him feel human.
I've seen love…
It's right here…
with you…
-so sick so sick of being tired
and oh so tired of being sick
I'm willing and waiting to prove over the worst of everything you had to say about me
so obviously desperate
so desperately obvious -
"I'm sorry Heero, I really am. I just…don't think we're the same people anymore. Back in the war…You and I were both there, fighting for the same dream…Peace."
"Relena…what are you talking about?"
- I don't sleep, don't feel a thing
And my senses have all but gone
Can't even cry from the pain,
can't shed a tear now I realize
We're not the same and it's making me sad
Cause we can't fulfill
our dreams in this life -
"Man, Heero, I never thought I'd see the day Miss Relena Peacecraft dumped you!"
"Shut up Duo."
…
"Sorry…I just didn't think she would…"
"I didn't either."
"Look dude I'll make it up to you, lets go out."
"Wh-hat?"
"Come on, we'll go to a club or something. To get your mind off that Relena chick."
"I-…don't have anything to wear."
"I'll lend you some of my stuff…Pleeease Heero?"
"Don't give me that look Duo."
*whimper*
"Fine….stupid puppy eyes…"
-we wont stand for hazy eyes anymore
think of all the fun had
we wont stand for hazy eyes anymore
the finest line divides a night well spent from a waste of time-
"Duo…what are you…mpphh….doing?"
"Kissing you, what does it look like…"
-We wont stand for hazy eyes anymore
think of all the days you spent
alone with just your TV set and...I can barely smile-
"Duo…I've never really…done this before…"
"Hey, baby, it's okay I'll help you…"
-so how are your dreams?
whatever lover they may be
so how are your dreams?
whatever lover they may be go on
so go on, go and take on the world
building castles, building castles
expand your wings across the sky,
take my words and say good-night and never say good-bye
expand your wings and fly and
look to the sky expand your wings and
fly expand your wings and fly -
"Heero?"
"…ye…ah…"
*chuckle*
"..wh…at?"
"You're breathless…"
"…so?"
"That's just weird man…you never get breathless…"
"…oh…."
…
"Heero?"
"Uh…huh.."
"Close your eyes"
"…W-hy?"
"Cause I'm gonna kiss you again…"
- Please don't leave me without saying goodbye, without saying goodbye
You and I cold February night
it's been half an hour taking sweet time saying our goodbyes
one minute more the best day of my life
is all thanks to you precious remembrance
saved for rainy days on February -
"MMppphh…"
"Hey baby."
"Duo, stop, I just got back from a mission, I'm tired as hell."
"Aww…but Heero, you turn me on…And I missed you."
"Duo get off me…"
…
*thunk*
"Fine. Bastard."
- I was so afraid that you would fall out of touch
and we can talk all night, we could talk all night
and I will sing you lullabies, I will sing you lullabies
not every arrow is pointed straight at your heart
so come around again, so come around again
and we can talk all night -
Don't be afraid anymore…I'm not
"What are you so god damn afraid of Duo???"
"NOTHING, I'm NOT…afraid of anything!"
…liar
"What are you afraid of?"
"LOSING…"
"Losing what?"
"Everything…I've already lost so much…"
…
"Heero?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you afraid?"
"Yes…"
"Why?"
"You wouldn't understand me Duo…I'm different than you…"
- In between the light of day
He wants more than anything
In between the light of day
To find his way out of here
In between the light of day
He thinks he's going to make it
In between the light of day
If he could only take it -
"I think…this is the end, Heero."
"So do I…"
"Well…goodbye then."
"Bye…"
- This is the time
This is the place
We all go our separate ways
No turning back
This is the time
This is the place
We all go our separate ways -
Heero walked down the seemingly abandoned street, looking up at the buildings…the big tall buildings…so much bigger than me.
He shoved his hands in his pockets roughly, a scowl planted on his face.
This is just…how it should be.
- I can remember parking lot nights
What did they mean to you?
Wrapping my arms around your body
Protecting and holding you
Holding you -
Heero continued walking down the street, the concrete slabs of sidewalk becoming more and more rocky and out of place.
What?
- I wish that I could turn back time
cause now all the guilt is mine
cant live without
the trust from those you love
I know we can't forget the past
you can't forget love and pride
because of that, its killing me inside -
He stepped in between two of them, and his shoelace caught.
"Ahh-h."
Heero braced himself for the cold hard cement landing…but it never came.
He opened his eyes.
He was still falling.
Then he hit something.
Hard.
~~~
He sat up, aware that he was un-clothed, bare, with warm blankets wrapped around him.
"Wh-a?" he asked to no one in particular.
The door flew open.
"Rise and shine sweetheart, the others aren't gonna wait for you any longer!"
The loud, boisterous voice of Duo echoed in his ears.
Wh-a?
He shook his head…dream-ing?
He was dreaming?
Duo, wearing only fleece pajama bottom's, leaped on Heero, laughing.
"Comon Heero. You've slept in long enough!"
He gave Heero a chaste kiss on his forehead.
"Huh?" he asked.
Duo lightly and playfully knocked Heero on the head with his knuckles.
"It's twelve forty-five you dork. Get up!"
Heero crossed his arms. What was going on?
"Don't make me force you…" Duo said with a twinkle in his eyes.
Heero didn't make a move.
"Alright then, you asked for it."
Duo leaped unto Heero, kissing him, dipping his tongue between his soft lips. Before Heero knew it, Duo had his hands on him, tickling him, touching him.
He threw back his head, laughing.
It doesn't matter if this is a dream…
Duo giggled, still in front of Heero's face.
"Get up. Now." he said, joking.
"No." Heero said, feeling his lips tug into a smile.
"I'll make you get up Hee-chan."
"I know…" Heero grinned.
Heero suddenly growled, pulling Duo's body back on top of his. Kiss his cheeks, his neck, nose, everywhere but his mouth.
"Hee-ro!" Duo whimpered.
"Yes baby?"
"You're using this against me!" Duo crossed his arms, giving Heero a look.
"You know you like it!" Heero said waggling his fingers at Duo.
- I'm not in love
So don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong
Don't think you've got it me
I'm not in love
No, no It's because
I'd like to see you
But then again
It doesn't mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you
Don't make a fuss
Don't tell your friends about the two of us
I'm not in love
No, no It's because
I keep your picture
Upon the wall It hides a nasty stain that's lying there
So don't you ask me
To give it back
I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me
I'm not in love
No, no It's because .. -
"I do NOT!" Duo protested with a silly grin on his face.
"I love the way your eyes sparkle…"
"Thinking aloud now, are we?" Duo poked Heero's nose.
"Humph." Heero said, swiping Duo's finger from his nose.
"Okay Mister Yuy, it's time for YOU, little spoiled brat, to get OUT of BED."
"No." Heero said, curling his arms around Duo's back.
"You know what I wanna do right now, instead?" Heero whispered into Duo's ear, trailing his tongue along the lobe. Duo shivered.
"What do you wanna do?" Duo's child-like voice grew husky and deep, teasing Heero.
"I wanna make love to you…." Heero said, kissing Duo's neck.
- You're beautiful, that's for sure
You'll never ever fade
You're lovely, but it's not for sure
That I won't ever change
And though my love is rare
Though my love is true -
Duo pulled away, gasping.
"What? Did I say something wrong?" Heero sat up, confused and scared.
"Y-you've never…called it that before…" Duo said, his eyes wide.
"What's wrong with calling it that?"
"N-nothing…"
"Then why are you crying?"
"I-I-I'm not."
- It's not that I wanna say goodbye
It's just that every time you try to tell me that you love me
Each and every single day I know
I'm going to have to eventually give you away
And though my love is rare
And though my love is true
Hey I'm just scared
That we may fall through -
I don't care if this is a dream…
Cus this is a good dream…
- How can you be so cold
With my arms to hold you?
How can you be so cold
With my arms to enfold you?
I could give you - A mirror
To show you - Disappointments
I could give you - A history
Could you ever listen in to me?
How can you be so cold
When there's a fire burning?
How can you be so cold
When all the ice is melting?
I could give you - A mirror
To show you - Disappointments
I could give you - A history
Could you ever listen in to me? -
Sweet dreams…