Joe Millionaire: The LoD Parody
brought to you by:
Rikku oh Ki
and
numerous fangirls
and by
Soa
Notes from the Cabbit: Konyananichiwa! Copy cabbit here, with chapter 2! Anou…isn't there anyone else who wants to torture Dart? Huh? Oh well…then I guess you'll have to make do with the little surprise I have for you…
Chapter 2: The first batch of fangirls arriveNoish: *is tied to a leather armchair, sitting in front of a fireplace* Welcome back, minnas. As you may well know, I am Minister Noish, assistant to King Albert. I was enjoying my life up until last week, when Copy cabbit took over the castle and forced me and His Majesty to teach Dart how to act like a gentleman. Of course, in exchange for my life, and the safety of the king from rabid fangirls, we have surrendered the castle so Copy cabbit can invite rabid fangirls here. Why? Because she called them up and told them Dart inherited 50 million dollars. Now…as we start the second episode, we meet the first batch of fangirls.
Copy cabbit: See, Noish? That wasn't so bad, now was it?
Noish: I refuse to comment…
Copy cabbit: Well, anyways, I better go outside to make sure the fangirls aren't killing each other. Wouldn't want them to miss out on my little surprise, meheheh…*gets out the Pink Chibi Wand (copyright me. Wanna use it? ask. Perfect for keeping LoD chars under control) Also gets out a bag labeled "Tools for Mass Destruction…and Everything In-between (also copyright me).*
*outside, we see a horse-drawn carriage carrying Fifi and Silver, Fifi attached to Lavitz's arm…*
Fifi: So Dart inherited money?
Silver: Sounds fishy to me…*readies her Magical Spatula of Evil Badness (copyright Silver)*
Fifi: As long as I have Lavitz, it'll be fine…*gets out her Clicky Pen of Doom (copyright Fifi)*
*the carriage stops in front of the castle. Haschel, the driver, takes off as soon as the girls get off*
Lavitz: *thinking* Soa, if you have any shred of kindness left in your heart, you will make sure Jade isn't here…
*another carriage, driven by Meru, is speeding towards the castle. It collides into Haschel's carriage in the process. Onboard are Aerena and Sora*
Aerena: *pouts* I wanna be with Lloyd…*gets out a stapler (copyright the inventor of the stapler*
Sora: Me too…*gets out chopsticks (copyright whoever first made them)*
Meru: Yeeehaw! *runs over Haschel as the carriage finally arrives at the entrance**a third carriage, driven by Shirley (who was brought back to life), also arrives at the castle. On this carriage are Yami Dart and Sami*
Sami: *pokes Yami Dart* Why are you here?
Yami Dart: Whaddya mean?
Sami: You're a guy…
Yami Dart: So?
Sami: What are you doing here?
Yami Dart: I'm bored, and I want to participate in killing Dart. *gets out broadsword* See?
Sami: Oh.
*finally, a carriage driven by Damia (also brought back to life), arrives, carrying SorsX*
SorsX: Hehe…I can't win cause I'm in love with Lloyd, but that doesn't mean I can't have some fun with Dart!
*the camera now shows Copy cabbit*
Copy cabbit: Well minnas, I think it's high time we break for commercial, neh? Keheheh…
*We now break for commercial. The commercial? Axe Deodorant Body Spray*
Copy cabbit: *from backstage* And…action!
*In some random office building, we see Albert, shirtless at first, on an elevator, spraying some Axe Deodorant Body Spray on himself. When the elevator stops, he gets off, putting his shirt on. Lavitz gets on*
Lavitz: *thinking* Soa, I know you don't like me that well, seeing as you let Lloyd kill me in the game, but please, PLEASE tell me Jade isn't the one getting on…
Soa: Sorry, but no can do!
Lavitz: Damn it!
Jade: *grinning* Lavitz!
*Jade gets on the elevator. She smells the Axe Deodorant Body Spray, and stops the elevator*
Lavitz: *thinking* Soa, if you get this elevator moving again, I will do anything for you!
Soa: Soa isn't home right now. If you'd like to leave a message, please leave your name and number and message at the beep…
Lavitz: *thinking* My life is over…
*Now of course we don't see what goes on in the elevator, but as soon as it reaches it's designated floor, we see Jade get off, grinning. Lavitz is left on the elevator*
Lavitz: *sees Fifi approaching, and desperately presses the Close Door button* Please work…
Fifi: Too late! *gets on the elevator*
Lavitz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*commercial ends. scene now shows Copy cabbit meeting the fangirls and one guy*
Copy cabbit: Okay, minnas, as I told you already, Dart just inherited 50 million dollars. It's your job to torture him in every way in order to get him to choose you. Now…any questions?
Sami: *raises hand*
Copy cabbit: Yes?
Sami: Can I go home?
Copy cabbit: Now why would you wanna do that when…*evil grin as Lloyd is summoned*
Lloyd: *lands on the ground very hard* Ouch…
Lloyd fangirls: Lloyd! *stampede to reach Lloyd*
Copy cabbit: Alrighty then…both Lloyd and Dart have inherited 50 million dollars. How they did is anyone's guess. Who knows; maybe they'll tell ya if you ask…*trails off* Well then, shall we get to meet Dart?
*Dart, still drunk, comes in on horseback*
Dart: Heeeeyyy…*falls off the horse*
Copy cabbit: *huge sweatdrop* This, is you don't know already, is Dart Feld. He just inherited 50 million dollars. *glares at Dart* Dart, say hello to the ladies.
Dart: Helllooooo…
Copy cabbit: *frowns* Okay, Dart. That's enough. You can go back now. *thinks for a sec* Sober up, will ya?
Dart: Suuureeee…*tries to get back on the horse, but it takes off as soon as he gets one foot in the stirrup, dragging him along*
Copy cabbit: …*watches Dart leave* Hm…*claps her hands* But of course! Follow me!
*there is now a large group of Lloyd fangirls following Copy cabbit, dragging Lloyd with them. Everyone else follows behind them. Finally, they stop in front of a door*
Fifi: Is this where we torture Dart?
Copy cabbit: Close, but no cigar. Actually, I have something different. In this room are designer dresses for the ball tonight. You have 30 seconds to pick a dress. *opens door* Have fun!
*there is a even bigger stampede as all the fangirls rush inside. Mass chaos ensues as they fight over who gets what dress. Finally, the 30 seconds are up, and the girls limp out of the room, each holding on to a dress, or what's left of them.*
Copy cabbit: Okay then! Noish will show you to your room, and you can get dressed.
*Noish reluctantly shows the girls to their room. Yes, they're all in the same room, mainly for the purpose of keeping track of them. After all, Copy cabbit can't afford tracking devices. Later on, the girls arrive at the ballroom on-by-one, Fifi still attached to Lavitz*
Lavitz: I'm not even supposed to be here, Fifi…
Fifi: So? Copy cabbit said I could bring you with me!
Lavitz: I'll have to remember to thank her later…
*Dart and Lloyd are waiting inside, dressed in tuxedos.*
Dart: *tugs at his tuxedo* This thing isn't flammable…
Copy cabbit: Yeah. I can't afford to have you burning yourself so early in the game…
Dart: *sees the fangirls* Hey! Who wants to dance with…
*most of the fangirls rush right past Dart as they head straight for poor defenseless Lloyd, who has no time to react as the fangirls start fighting over him*
Aerena: Mine! *grabs Lloyd's right arm*
Sami: Mine! *grabs Lloyd's left arm*
Fifi: *ignores the fight, and walks up to Dart, Clicky Pen of Doom ready to strike* So…how in the name of Soa did you inherit 50 million dollars?
Dart: Um…*sees Meru in the distance, holding up cue cards* It was my Uncle Bob! *cries* He was such a great uncle…even thought I never knew him…
Fifi: *frowns* Hm…sure…*walks up to Lloyd, despite the mass chaos* So, Lloyd, how did you inherit 50 million dollars?
Lloyd: What!? I inherited 50 million dollars!? When!? *sees the cue cards* Damn Wingly…I mean, Dart and I are related, so Uncle Bob left us each 50 million dollars!
Fifi: Why are we at Indel Castle?
Lloyd: What is this, 20 Questions? How the hell am I supposed to know!? *sees Meru shrug* Damn it!
Fifi: *wanders off, and sees Lavitz. She is now wandering around, dragging Lavitz with her*
*A few hours and mass casualties later…*
Copy cabbit: *points her Pink Chibi Wand at Noish*
Noish: *gulps* Ahem…and now, both Dart and Lloyd have chosen who goes on to the next round…
Meru: *runs into the room* Waaaaait!
Copy cabbit: *glares at Meru* What is it?
Meru: We still haven't got enough fangirls!
Copy cabbit: *blinks* Why Meru, you're right! Brilliant deduction!
Meru: Huh? what does that mean?
Copy cabbit: *sweatdrop* Never mind…
Well, that's all for chapter 2! BTW…did you guys know that Sony is making a sequel to LoD? Anyways…read and review! I need more fangirls! Until next time, ja ne!