Disclaimer: I own the story…that is all.

Note: I thank you all for being very patient with me. I do realize I need a beta reader, but don't know how to go about getting one laughs As for the story it's self. It was supposed to be muddled and confused. If the characters don't know what's going on, I never let my readers know what's going on either. How would they relate to the confusion then?

Bit of a change of pace for this chapter though. Hope it wraps everything up for you.

I needed to speak to him. To tell him what was on my mind, what had been bothering me when I woke up yesterday. Yesterday. What a strange day that was. For the first time in many weeks I woke up feeling rested, feeling better. I was able to think clearly for the first time in many months and I managed to at least get a start on figuring things out. I realized now that there would be no quick fix, but at least I had the mental clarity to figure it out.

It wasn't until yesterday that I realized what had actually happened that one night when Chakotay found me. What I had actually done. I was leery to call it a suicide attempt because that's not what I had consciously wanted to do. I just wanted to quiet everything down, and I was tired and wanted to sleep. The problem came when I realized that I didn't care how that happened or for how long I slept. The longer the better.

I found Chakotay in the mess hall.

"Hey." He said when he saw me walking towards him. I had surprised him this morning by beating him to the door.

"Hi. Do you think we can find a place to talk quietly?" I asked.

"We can go back to my quarters if you want?"

"Sure that'd be great." I smiled at him. He got up and led the way to his room.

"Would you like anything?" He asked when we got there.

"No thanks." He replicated himself a cup of tea then sat down on the couch beside me.

"What's up?"

"I realized we hadn't really talked in the last little while." I started.

"That isn't for the lack of trying." He smiled at me.

"No it isn't. I'm sorry about that. I guess I just wasn't ready. I do want to say thank you though."

"Thank you for what?" He asked confused.

"Thank you for everything you've done, everything that you've put up with and for finding me that morning." He looked a little taken back by what I had said.

"I never expected a thank you." He said quietly.

"Truthfully I never wanted to give one. It wasn't until yesterday that I realized that I was thankful." I said.

"I don't understand."

"For the longest time I was actually mad that you had found me. I wanted to stay asleep. I wanted to be able to not deal with things for a while and that was the way I had chose to do it." I admitted. He looked shocked, but I continued. "I was also mad at myself for letting you see me that way, and for letting it happen. I never thought I had let things get so bad. I just kept putting it off and putting it off until it caught up to me."

"You could have come to me you know." Chakotay said putting his hand on mine.

"I didn't want to admit anything was wrong. I was actually happier knowing that I was able to get along so well with out anyone, for a while anyway."

"You do give new meaning to the word stubborn." He said shaking his head. I just smiled.

"Keeps things interesting don't you think?"

"Yes." He nodded and smiled. "Never a dull moment, and when there is would you please remember next time that Tom usually finds away to make things more interesting?"

I laughed. "I'll try."

"I'm here for you while you try and work this out you know." He said going back to the more serious tone.

"I know. I think this was my little way of saying that I'm not going to be able to do it alone." I said looking into his eyes. "Do you think you're up for it?" I smiled coyly.

"You may have met your match." He said smiling back. "I may not let you get away with not talking anymore."

"Good. Glad to hear it. Keeping in mind I can have you thrown in the brig, I think this will be a lot of help."

"I'm not sure this was an open invitation to throw me in the brig when ever you need a pick me up." He laughed.

"Thank you Chakotay." I said resting my hand on top of his.

"No, thank you for finally telling me what was going on." He said.

"Not a problem." I laughed.

He took both my hands in his and I was comforted to know that no matter how rough healing was going to be I had someone.