A/N Disclaimers in part one, this is Scully's side to the deep thoughts.

She got on the plane, looking back over Dulles airport. She couldn't believe that she was actually doing this. She couldn't believe that she was actually going after him, after all this time. Finally, after five years, she felt decent enough to go crawling back to him.

As the plane took off, she found herself staring at the ground below. She was glad she had the window seat, it gave her more of a chance to think. A bad sci-fi movie was playing, and she couldn't help but laugh. If he were here, he'd be commenting on it.

But he wasn't. He was at her end destination, a little airport in the middle of nowhere, Colorado. She had no clue what possessed him to move there, but she thought it probably was an overwhelming desire to go someplace where he wasn't likely to be found.

But the FBI doesn't just forget about its agents once the tender the resignation. No, they keep close tabs on anyone who leaves the Bureau for any reason. That's how she found his address. It was apparently a small ranch, nestled into the mountains, in an area not too far from Denver.

He had opened up an investigating firm, specializing in the paranormal. And apparently, according to what she had found, was doing very well for himself. He was probably married and had a whole slew of kids.

Instantly, she was regretting getting on the flight. What if he WAS married? What if he didn't want to see her again. She wished something would happen, turbulence, bad weather, and engine going out, that would cause the plane to have to turn around. What started as just a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach had escalated into full blown nervousness and guilt.

She knew why she was guilty. And she knew that she shouldn't feel it, but yet, she did. She felt guilty about not explaining to him what had really happened when she got the chance. She felt guilty about not telling him her feelings for him, perhaps if she had, this whole thing could have been avoided.

But she hadn't. and what had started out by what she thought was harmless flirting to break the ice had escalated into so much more. And if he even began to learn what happened, she hoped he might change his mind about how he felt.

But she knew that he was happy where he was. If he wasn't, he would have moved someplace else. She knew him, she knew him too well. She knew that the only place he wouldn't go was back to DC, unless he was sure that she was gone. Because he knew that she could find him wherever.

It took just the slightest bit of effort, and she could find him. She chalked it up to how much she cared for him. He wasn't the only one heartbroken over what had happened. She was devastated. All because of one small mistake that lead to so much more.

Her thoughts kept her so entertained throughout the flight that she didn't even realize how much time had elapsed until she spotted the "fasten seatbelts" sign flash on. As she got off of the plane, she took a breath. There would be no turning back.