Saiyuki: Through the Looking Glass
Ch. 2

"The other shape, If shape it might be called that shape had none
Distinguishable, in member, joint, or limb;
Or substance might be called that shadow seemed,
For each seemed either; black he stood as night;
Fierce as ten furies; terrible as hell;
And shook a deadly dart. What seemed his head
The likeness of a kingly crown had on."

- Milton on Death

Tenpou sharply shut the book, pointedly ignoring the ache of doubt that had planted itself in his chest. And for a while, the field marshal of the Western Army just sat there, staring blankly at the chaotically colliding dust motes illuminated by his dim desk lamp. His vision blurred, but he squeezed his eyes shut, shook his head and all returned to normal, if only for a while.

More silence and more dust motes. He blew smoke at them. The cigarette was on its final centimeter.

Like all heavenly nights, tonight was quiet, a gentle wind blowing at his nape and a glass of sweet wine by his side. Should have been blissful.

After a moment of thought, Tenpou reached into his desk drawer and pulled out two old reports from the Western Army.

The first one read like this: "Report to Tenpou Gensui, Field Marshal of Heaven's Western Armies: (the handwriting was Kenren's) The twenty first regiment of the third division, comprised of thirty soldiers was sent to Earth on a surveillance round to investigate possible threats of dormant ice youkai. Not one man of the thirty ever reported back. Permission to organize a rescue mission."

Tenpou's response: Denied.

Cold. Yes, he knew that, and had to deal with Kenren's silent treatment for a good week. He truly did care for his men, but something nudged Tenpou's intuition and bid him stay quiet. Think before you leap. Then again, don't leap at all because there's a pit of spikes on the other side...And so he waited as his own relay report filtered its way through the bureaucracy, passing from hand to corrupted hand.

This is the same report as Konzen had received it several days and departments later:

"Report to Konzen Douji: The twenty first regiment of the third division, comprised of thirty soldiers was sent to Earth on a surveillance round to investigate possible threats of mobilizing water youkai. Not one man of the thirty ever reported back. It is most certain that the division had strayed away from heaven and the army's leaders have decided to view the situation as abandonment. No drastic action need be taken. Forbidden re-entrance to heaven is sufficient." (He could not decipher the writer of the altered report)

Like a game of telephone...and dammit his eyesight was wavering again. Eyes were necessary for research, for this tedious handwriting analysis since he couldn't trust anybody's word on who the mysterious author was. But surely, one with enough influence to push this trash all the way up to Konzen who gave the correspondence back to Tenpou.

"The handwriting's too neat to be yours. Too much flourish to be your dickhead general's."

The message was never delivered to Tentei.

He felt like a petty detective instead of a high military man. One disappearance. No witnesses. Two contradicting reports. Needless to say, Kenren's version was the more reliable one.

Strange times indeed.

Tenpou squinted harder at the lettering, comparing one note with another, then with another and yet another, until...

"Dammit Tenpou!" Lately, 'dammit' seemed to be his first name.

"Yes General?"

Kenren stood with his arms crossed at the study's entrance, puffing angrily at a newly lit cigarette. "I thought told you to stay put."

"I'm staying put." replied Tenpou matter-of-factly.

"I meant in bed."

The marshal smiled as sweetly as he could manage at that point. "I thought you didn't like frigid partners." But this time Kenren wasn't amused.

"I don't. I just don't want to take you while you're injured. So until you're better..."

"I'm not injured. Meandering in dank, dark castles is just a cold waiting to happen."

"Sick? Gods shouldn't get sick."

"Kenren," Tenpou interrupted softly, his smile slowly dying. "We're immortal, not invincible."

That statement seemed to take all the air out of Kenren's lungs and he slouched against the door, uncertain about how to respond. So he just resorted to smoking. The marshal chuckled softly and put the papers back in his drawer, taking care to lock it.

"What the hell are you laughing at? I'm just pissed that you ain't thinking about what happened. The most dangerous man in heaven, and you're knocked unconscious for two days by a fucking piece of furniture!"

"That was quality furniture, General, and you shouldn't have destroyed..." He stopped. The humming in the back of his mind was back again. It doesn't mean that you didn't lover her enough...But Kenren never said... "What in the world are talking about Kenren? Didn't love who enough?" His eyesight grew hazy and he stumbled, only to be caught by a pair of strong arms.

"Hey, hey. Easy now. You just woke up," Kenren soothed, bringing Tenpou back onto his feet and leading him to the bedroom. "What happened in there anyway? Must have been some freaky stuff that messed with your ears because now you're hearing things."

Tenpou shrugged and sat on the soft mattress, shedding the lab coat and fiddling uselessly with the buttons of his shirt. His hands were shaking and for a while, he thought that his eyes were playing tricks on him as well. Was that his lifeline shrinking?

"You weren't too far from the truth," he admitted, then looked grudgingly at his own hands. They just couldn't keep still, as if the ground were shaking. "General, could you do me a fav-"

But he was cut off with a kiss as Kenren gently pushed him flat on the bed and started undoing his shirt buttons, pushing past the fabric and grazing his mouth against the skin underneath. "Did you just admit I was right, Tenpou?"

"Part of your compensation, General. If you want the rest, I advise you to stop talking," Tenpou answered, slipping his cold hands against Kenren's cheeks and guiding him up until the general's shadow hovered over his face. Tenpou knew this wasn't fair, but he needed this, and it was right here, warm and close and offering.

Kenren understood well enough that this probably the worst way to solve the problem, but it was the quickest and most agreeable way for both of them. Tenpou would never tell him anything, he knew that. You can sleep with a man carrying a thousand hidden secrets for a thousand nights and not learn a thing, but for Kenren it was enough that he could slip around these secrets, nestle into the cracks and wait for the walls to fall.

It wasn't as if he loved him or anything like that. Kenren wasn't stupid. He knew his...their...limits.

***

They were sharing a room again and as Hakkai slid blissfully under the soft bed sheets, he stretched contentedly and looked over to Sanzo who was cursing by the window.

"Sanzo, it's only snow. Be thankful it isn't rain." He tried to be comforting, but it was hard when you were already half asleep.

"Let the damn rain come. At least it doesn't stick," the priest replied bitterly.

"Ah."

And so the silence reigned between them, not that either minded. Waiting for the sleep to come, Hakkai stared at the dark ceiling. They sat in the dark, the two of them, pierced only by the whitish glow of a street lamp reflecting off a two foot bed of snow. The harsh winds ratted the window pane.

"Sanzo."

"I thought you were asleep." He was more subdued this time, his irritation minutely soothed by a cigarette whose pale smoke seemed ghostlike from Sanzo's position near the window.

"I'm not."

"I can fucking see that. What do you want? That flame headed idiot of yours is skirt-chasing downstairs. I ain't getting him and I ain't switching rooms either. If I hear that bakasaru's voice one more time tonight..."

Suddenly, a gentle laugh wafted through the room. "No, no. I wasn't going to ask something so futile. I was going to say: Was I fair?"

"Clarify."

"Sanzo..."

"Fine."

Sanzo already knew what he was talking about. The way Hakkai had defeated Shien...his gentle voice whipping out taunt after taunt until the god's concentration was broken, a whip snapping from too much pull. Hakkai was never one for psychological warfare...exploiting on the weakness of the enemy's mind because he knew his own mind was still in shambles.

Dishonorable, to say the least. But not something Sanzo wouldn't do.

"Take out anybody in our way, Hakkai. Shien's no different from the rest."

But somehow he was. They all were. Homura, Shien, and Zenon.

"But what they wanted wasn't necessarily bad, was it? A better heaven..."

"What the hell was wrong with the first one?" Sanzo spat out.

"That is something I would like to know..."

"Well you don't know and I don't know, so stop pushing it."

Their adventures with Homura were a touchy subject for the priest. Enemies who were enemies, but not really. Otherwise, why would Goku have mourned Homura's death? Why was Sanzo content in letting Homura have the death he wanted? Their demeanor...their passion for this new heaven...and they made it feel so justified.

And they made it seem that something was truly wrong with the gods. Not just the ones forsaken by heaven, but all of them. Which meant things were wrong with everything. Sanzo worked for the gods. This entire journey was ordered by the gods. All for what? To save the world? Yes, fine. Who else? Heaven? Perhaps. And gods who couldn't give a damn what happened down here as long as Gyuumao wasn't alive to threaten that world up there.

"Maybe..." Sanzo started, startling Hakkai who expected the man not to go any further with the subject. "It was just too boring."

He smiled. "Good reasoning. Definitely your reasoning."

"Hakkai."

"Yes, Sanzo?" Hakkai replied...or thought he replied.

"Go to sleep. You're forgetting your company."

"It's only you."

"But you just called me Konzen."