'Hush, boy, stop crying. A soldier isn't supposed to cry, now is he?'

'No, Professor.'

'Now, let's have a look at you...'

'Please, sir, we do this every day... it's never any different...'

'I'll have none of that now, boy. Just do as I say and sit quiet...'

'Yes, Professor...'


Sephiroth was awakened by the warmth of sunlight playing across his face. He opened his eyes, glancing over at the window through which the golden rays gleamed. What had that dream meant? Was it a memory....? He had recognized Professor Hojo's voice... And the young boy-in his toddler years apparently-sounded familiar, but he couldn't place the voice... It doesn't matter. He stood, strode to Katrina, and gently shook her. She shifted slightly, then one grey eye opened to peer at him. She blinked, then sat up. "We're leaving now?" she inquired.

The swordsman nodded, then walked into Vincent's room-Tifa's, actually-to wake him. He found the man lying on his side atop tangled blankets, facing the wall. Hesitantly, Sephiroth laid a hand on Vincent's shoulder. The former Turk did not even flinch, but after a moment, he shifted slightly and said, "Go ahead. I'll catch up in a moment." Sephiroth paused, then nodded silently, walking down the steps and outside to find Katrina already there, waiting for him.

"Is Vincent coming?"

"Yes, in just a minute..." Sephiroth replied. They did not have to wait long, for Vincent soon came out to join them, looking even more pale and withdrawn than usual. The swordsman eyed him carefully for a moment, before speaking. "I've decided that I would like to make up for what I've done, in any way I can..."

Vincent tilted his head slightly, saying nothing, but his expression was easily interpreted as, 'Where do we start?'

Sephiroth turned his gaze northward. "I want to try reviving the Cetra... I want to revive Aeris." Vincent seemed unsurprised. He merely nodded and led the way back out of Nibelheim, where the two chocobos were still waiting. They mounted the birds, then turned back northward towards where Aeris's body rested.

Aeris blinked and sat back slightly from the mirror, glancing at her mother, who had been sitting beside her for the past hour or so. So Sephiroth was going to try reviving her? It was impossible... wasn't it? What if he actually succeeded, what then? She had spent five years as an observer, and the chance at being alive again had set her mind reeling. What would she do, where would she go? Would anyone even want her anymore? Mightn't she just cause more pain than she already had? There were too many unknowns buzzing around in her head.

"Do you think it'll work?" she asked her mother.

Ifalna shook her head. "I doubt it. But... then again, it might be possible. He is capable of many things... Do you want it to work?"

Aeris frowned slightly, turning her attention back to the mirror. "I'm not even sure..."

Sephiroth stared for a moment at his surroundings. The walls of the huge cavern were a pure white, as was the shell house that stood at one end of it, the spines spiraling around it. A single tree stood on the bank, in the stand, it's leaves a bright spring green. But most impressive was the lake before him. The water was a crystaline blue, sparkling in the light that shafted down from irregular skylights in the cave's ceiling. He walked to the water's edge, then paused there, glancing at Vincent questioningly.

Vincent met his gaze for a moment, then slowly looked out across the lake. "Cloud placed her body in the water, and let her fall to the bottom. This lake is her grave."

"So how do we get to her?" Katrina inquired. Sephiroth was mildly surprised that the girl was still with them. Perhaps she was just tagging along until they took her to Cosmo Canyon, where she wanted to go.

Vincent removed his cloak, folding it neatly and setting it aside. He then took off his boots and waded into the water up to his waist. He glanced back at the others. "I will retrieve her body and bring it back to the shore." With that, he dove beneath the surface of the water, quickly disapearing. Sephiroth blinked, then remembered that the former Turk no longer breathed... The lake must have been very deep. Indeed, the minutes stretched by without any sign of him surfacing. After almost a full ten minutes, Vincent appeared, carrying the girl in his arms. He waded to shore, soaking wet-but not seeming to mind-and laid Aeris's body down near them.

She looked as though she had just died. There were no signs of her body decomposing, nor of anything nibbling at her flesh. It seemed that the lake had done a good job of preserving her form. One thing that did stand out, however, was the wound which he had given her. The hole through her middle, the tear in her dress, old blood still staining the fabric. A flash. The girl beneath him, so innocent. Death coming swift, death from above, lancing of the blade, clean through her, killed in an instant...

Sephiroth shook his head and knelt down beside her body, laying the Masamune down between them. With one hand, he gently took one of hers... so pale and limp... lifeless... With the other hand, he gripped the handle of the sword. After one last look upon her smiling face, he closed his eyes and carefully felt for the spirit energy that would be needed to perform such a deed. The knowledge of the Ancients was strong here, and he needed it... needed it to undo what he had done five years ago...

Flash.

He was withdrawing the blade from her body, watching cruelly as she fell, caught up in the arms of Cloud...

Flash.

Smiling cruelly. What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me that you have feelings, too?

Flash.

Aeris will no longer talk, no longer laugh, cry......or get angry......

Flash.

Aeris is gone.

Flash.

Aeris...

Flash.

And let me handle Sephiroth...

Flash.

Then, I'll be going now. I'll come back when it's all over.

Flash.

I'll come back...

Flash.

Come back...

Flash.

Back...

Flash.

......So cold......

...I am always by your side...

Sephiroth shook his head and opened his eyes. Aeris lay before him, her eyes still shut, that smile still upon her face... but she was breathing now. Shallowly, perhaps, but she was breathing. He felt a pulse at her wrist, perhaps not quite steady, but it was there. A thin trickle of blood slid from her wound, rolling down her side to land in the sand, where it began sinking in.

Sephiroth looked again at her face. The smile turned to a frown and she winced slightly, her eyelids twitching...


Aeris opened her eyes and jerked to a sitting position, but quickly fell back against the ground, unable to support herself. It hurt... the wound... She reached a hand to her middle, felt the blood as it started pouring from her. And then she looked at Sephiroth. For a moment, she forgot that he was any different from before and stared, frozen.

Then the memories rushed back and she relaxed slightly, though those blue-green eyes fixed on her continued to unsettle her. "My wound..." she gasped, "needs... to be healed..." She grimaced. "Or... else I'll die... again..."

She shut her eyes tightly in a vain attempt to block out the pain... the terrible pain that burned and at the same time felt icy cold. She felt the swirl of magic around her, felt as her wound closed up to mere cuts on each side of her body... and had to wonder at the power of this Cure spell. But then... she had just been brought back from the dead five years after she had been killed. Brought back from the Promised Land, a land that promised nothing to her but endless years of watching, and waiting. But what had she been waiting for there? Nothing... at the same time as not knowing what to do now, she prayed that she would never have to go back there.

Aeris managed to push herself to a sitting position, but found that she could go no further. Her body was weak, even after the wound was healed. She looked at Sephiroth again. He looked as though he was...waiting... for a reaction of some sort? Afterall, he had killed her to begin with... She should tell them before anyone tried to explain. "I... I've been watching... from the Promised Land..." she said, faltering slightly. "So there's no need to explain all this..." She brought her knees up to her chest and leaned against them, shivering slightly. The cold was beginning to get to her now. So Cloud had placed her body in the lake...? She wondered just how he had reacted to her death... and how he would react to seeing her alive again...

Sephiroth's gaze was fixed on her, and she glanced at him uneasily. He blinked, as if coming out of a daze, and stood slowly. "We should leave now... I don't belong here."

Attempting to climb to her feet, all Aeris managed was a crouch. She looked up at the others for help. Vincent stepped forward, crouching to settle his cloak about her shoulders before helping her to her feet. Aeris stumbled, then found herself leaning against him rather heavily. Was it her death that had made her this weak, or had that Cure spell drained energy from her as well as Sephiroth...? She tugged the vermillion cape tighter about her, then looked around the cavern. "Did you leave the chocobos outside then?" she inquired.

Sephiroth nodded, taking up the Masamune and leading the way back out of the chamber. Katrina blinked, staring after him for a moment. She glanced once more in Aeris's direction before following the swordsman. Aeris watched them leave, then meeped slightly as Vincent hoisted her up. He didn't seem to care in the slightest, but being that close to him made her feel a little awkward. And she could feel the metal claw against the bare skin of her legs. Involuntarily, she shuddered.

Upon reaching Bone Village, the four of them stopped for a while, just to get things straightened out. Sephiroth was the last one into the inn, glancing back at the chocobos behind him before following the other three ahead of him. Katrina had quick to dart inside the building, worried that her parents might see her. She now hid behind Vincent, probably because she feared the inkeeper would recognize her and tell her family. Sephiroth wondered why she had wanted to run away... Didn't children generally like their parents? Perhaps she was an acception. He wished he could remember his parents, or at least his mother...


'Where is my mother?'

'Your mother?'

'Everyone has one, don't they?'

'Yes...'

'So where is mine? And what about my father?'

'They... left.'

'...can you at least tell me their names?'

'...I don't know your father's name......'

'And my mother?'

'.........Lucrecia. Your mother was Lucrecia.'


The swordsman blinked and shook his head. That child's voice sounded a bit older this time... but... it was his...? And who was the woman...? The innkeeper was looking at him strangely and he found that Katrina had already disapeared upstairs. Vincent stood at the base of the steps, watching him silently, Aeris held in his arms, as she was too weak still to walk. She merely frowned at him slightly, and said nothing. Shaking his head once more, Sephiroth turned to follow them up the stairs to the room they had rented.

Vincent set Aeris down in a chair and leaned against the wall. Katrina was sitting on the bed nearest the door. Sephiroth took a seat in the other chair and looked around at everyone before his gaze focused on Aeris. He had seen her somewhere before... and not in his past life, but sometime before. In his first life. It didn't matter.

After a moment longer, he adressed the Cetra. "I have much more to do before I've undone everything. I doubt you want to accompany me, and I don't blame either of you if you want to stop following me," he added, nodding to Vincent and Katrina.

"I'm definately not stopping here," Katrina said, glancing out the window. "...So I may as well come with until we get to Cosmo Canyon." Sephiroth looked at her for a moment, then nodded.

Aeris pushed a few strands of damp hair out of her face and tugged Vincent's cloak tighter about herself. She lifted her bright green eyes to meet Sephiroth's, then quickly looked away. "...I... am still... I can still remember when you killed me. Even if I was in better condition, I don't think I could bring myself to be near you. Not yet. That's why I'm going to stay here until I recover..."

The swordsman glanced at Vincent, but the man said nothing. He frowned slightly at Aeris. "...do you need someone to look after you?"

The Cetra blinked. "I don't think anyone has any reason to stay behind just for me... I'll manage on my own somehow..."

Sephiroth's frown deepened slightly as he studied the bedraggled-looking girl. "Are you sure?"

"If you no longer have any need for me, I could stay with her," Vincent cut in.

The swordsman eyed him for a moment, a bit startled by the offer-though he didn't show it-then nodded. "Yes, I think that would be best. And you'll be here in case I do need you?" Vincent nodded. Sephiroth turned to Katrina. "Do you mind stepping outside for a moment? I want to talk to Vincent alone."

"What about Aeris?" the girl asked.

"...I feel I can trust her."

"And you can't trust me?" Katrina's tone was slightly offended.

He shook his head. "That's not what I meant... I feel like I know her better..."

"But you don't even remember her," the girl stated. "So technically you should have known me longer. So why can't I listen in, too?"

Sephiroth frowned. "I'm sorry, I can't explain. But I don't want you 'listening in.'"

"Fine." Grudgingly, she left the room, closing the door carefully behind her.

Vincent moved to the door and listened for a moment-to make sure she wasn't eavesdropping?-then turned his crimson gaze to Sephiroth. "What is it?"

"I've been having... flashbacks, I suppose you'd call them," Sephiroth began. "But they're just voices... I know one voice is mine... the others..." He frowned slightly.

Vincent nodded minutely. "Fragments of memories... What are the voices saying?"

"The first... I was a child, speaking to Professor Hojo... In the second one I was asking someone who my mother was. I don't recognize her voice."

"......what did she answer?"

"She told me that my mother was Lucrecia. But that can't be... you said that I was told my mother was Jenova, right?" Sephiroth asked, perplexed.

"...yes. But perhaps you suffered a memory lapse sometime earlier in your life, causing you to forget much of your childhood," Vincent suggested as an explaination. "I don't think you ever remembered much before." He frowned. "But as to who the woman was..." Shaking his head, he looked back up at the swordsman.

"So you're saying that I'm begining to remember things that I hadn't in my past life?"

Vincent nodded, then gazed absently out the window. "......did anything seem to trigger the memories...?"

Sephiroth thought for a moment, then nodded slowly. "...I was thinking about my parents..." There was a flash in his vision and another memory played itself out in his head.


'Where is Mother?'

'She's not coming back, child, I told you that yesterday, and the day before, and-'

'Yes, but you never said where she was. I want to go see her.'

'You can't. The Professor wouldn't allow it.'

'He doesn't have to know.'

'You can't. Now hush up and eat your food before it gets cold.'

'But-'

'I won't have any more of that. Quiet, and eat. There's no use in starving yourself. It won't bring your mother back.'


When his vision cleared, he found Vincent looking at him, expressionless as always. Shivering in her chair, Aeris looked slightly concerned. "Another memory?" Vincent inquired calmly. Sephiroth nodded. Vincent pulled out his PHS and handed it to Sephiroth. "If you need to speak with me while on your journey, use this."

The swordsman frowned. "What will you use?"

Vincent nodded towards Aeris. "Hers is easily repaired. There shouldn't be much water damage."

Sephiroth took the PHS and clipped it onto his belt. "We'll leave you a chocobo for when you want to leave... Goodbye."

Vincent said nothing, but Aeris sat up straighter and called out, "Bye, Sephiroth. And thank you... Thank you for bringing me back to life." Sephiroth nodded and turned to walk out of the room. Katrina was waiting in the lobby, and followed him out without a word. The sky outside was overcast, but it did not look like there was going to be rain. It didn't smell that way, at least. Sephiroth and Katrina mounted one of the chocobos and headed off southward.

His thoughts came to focus on what he would do after he had undone everything. The world would no longer want him, and it had never needed him to begin with. Inside of him rested part of Jenova. And he knew that as long as he lived, the Planet would never be able to fully heal itself. Wouldn't it be best if he died, and took his painful legacy with him? But then... he could try to live out his life, try striving for happiness, but... but what? Was he afraid he would only end up injuring the Planet again? Or was it something else...? Sephiroth shook his head to try and clear it of all thoughts before continuing on.

Aeris shifted uncomfortably, flicking her damp bangs from her face, and glanced at Vincent. He had been staring gloomily at some fixed spot on the opposite wall ever since Sephiroth had left. The silence was beginning to get on her nerves. "Vincent...?" she said uncertainly. He glanced at her, and she almost shrank from his gaze, such was its intensity. She took a deep breath, then let it out. "...Vincent, I think it's only fair that I should tell you..."

"Tell me what...?" he inquired. His voice was quiet, but incredibly cold. He must have a lot on his mind, she thought, for him to be this withdrawn.

"When I was... watching..." she began, "...I saw your nightmare."

He blinked, then nodded slightly. "So you know now, of my past...?"

"Yes, but that's not all..." Aeris added. "I was able to look at things from Lucrecia's viewpoint. Don't ask me how, but I could."

Vincent raised on eyebrow very slightly. "And......?"

"She really did love you, Vincent," Aeris said firmly. "You have to accept it... I know you don't believe, but it's true."

He frowned, some of his confusion showing. "But then... why did she choose Hojo?"

"I think... she thought that you could handle rejection better than Hojo. She loved both of you, which is why it pained her so much to see you. She didn't like seeing you in pain like that."

Vincent eyed her for a moment, then turned away. "Even if you speak truth... it doesn't change anything. Lucrecia's death was still my fault. I should have stopped it... but I did not."

"I don't see how that makes it your fault," Aeris argued, shaking her head. This was no way for a man to spend his life-eternally berating himself for a past mistake. "You thought that she would be happy, so you let it be."

"But don't you see...?" he said, his face hinting at the torture within as he turned to face her. "She wasn't happy with it, and I could see that. I could tell she didn't want things to be that way. And I did nothing. Nothing!" He shook his head, face once again the emotionless mask. "I can never forgive myself for that. I should return to my nightmares, and my punishment, but I have duties here."

Aeris bit her lip. She wished that there was something she could say, something she could do to change his mind. "She loved you," Aeris stated. "She wouldn't want you to keep blaming yourself like this."

"Why do you even bother trying to change my mind, Aeris? There is nothing that I ever did for you, no reason for you to care in any way."

She shook her head. "It's called compassion, Vincent. I feel like I know you now. It's not right to just leave you to rot in your own guilt."

"If you truly knew me," he said coldly, "then you would be wise to leave me be."

Aeris sighed and huddled tigher in Vincent's cloak, murmuring, "I do wish you'd change your mind... but there's only one person who can do that, I think." The name itself did not need to be spoken. Both knew she meant Lucrecia. The silence that followed lasted for a full fifteen minutes, but it felt like much longer to Aeris. Her tired body wanted to sleep, but she remained awake, keeping an eye on Vincent. She wasn't sure what she was waiting for-some kind of confirmation, perhaps?-but she waited. Finally, the former Turk glanced at her once more.

"You should rest, to help regain your strength." The tone of his voice made ice seem warm, and Aeris shuddered. The waiting unfullfilled, she decided the reason would reveal itself later. She didn't bother trying to move to the bed, but simply closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

The silence in the Forgotten City was eerie, but she kept on anyway. Her footsteps on the crystal staircase rang out into the silence, but never echoed back, chimes lost to the distance. Here, there was no sky, no ground, just the holy platforms suspended on what seemed like water. She stepped down onto the stone floor at the base of the staircase, then emerged from the small chamber.

Leaping nimbly from pillar to pillar to the altar, she gazed down at the water, which lay covered in a faint sheen of mist. She found her seat in the center of the altar, surrounded by the yellow glass reaching upwards in graceful curves. She closed her eyes and turned inwards, forcing herself to ignore the hauntingly beautiful surroundings.

Meteor had to be stopped. And she was the only one who could do it... She regretted having to leave Cloud and the others behind and go off on her own, but if she did not... it might be too late for Holy. She only hoped that she was not already too late. Sephiroth had the Black Materia, and perhaps he had already summoned Meteor. Or perhaps Cloud had managed to stop him.

Either way, Jenova was still in existance, still preventing the Planet from healing its ancient wound. Holy was the one thing that might be capable of destroying Jenova for good. Then the Planet would finally heal itself...

It was then that the same soft chiming of footsteps on the stairs came into her hearing. There were several sets of footsteps actually... the first sounded similar to how hers had, the second was oddly muted, and the third was higher-pitched, though much quieter, as if metal was lightly touching the crystal. Could it be Cloud? What was he trying to accomplish by coming here?

It did not matter. The White Materia was near to awaking Holy... Just a little longer... that's all she needed... just a little more time. The footsteps where on stone now. And only one pair could actually be heard. This confirmed her assumptions and named the three Cloud, Nanaki, and Vincent. Why were they here? Did they think she was in danger? Focus, she told herself. Focus.

"Aeris?" Came Cloud's voice from somewhere further down. She heard him leap across the pillars as she had some time before, then pause a few feet in front of her. She heard him draw his sword. What was he thinking? Focus.

"Cloud!"

"Stop it!"

She felt the sword stop inches from her face, then heard it clatter to the floor, ringing out sharply in contrast to all the eerie silence of before. "Ugh... What are you making me do?"

Inwardly, she felt something slide into place. Holy would come. She opened her eyes to find Cloud staring intently at her. She smiled at him, happy that she had accomplished her purpose. But that joy was short-lived as the expression on his face turned from thoughtfullness, to pure horror. All time seemed to freeze as she sensed the presence of something truly twisted, something that might once have been innocent, but now had only one purpose-destruction, and rebirth. A chill went down her spine, but the smile never left her face.

Time resumed its natural course, and she felt the blade stab through her. Cold steel, burning, yet so cold... so cold... She could feel it feeding off of her, drawing in her blood from her body. And then withdrawing. Her shock was distant, the feel of Cloud's arms around her miles away. She realized she could no longer see. "...Aeris," came the faint voice. And then all was silent. The smile never left her face.

Aeris awoke with a start, releasing her grip on the cloak as her hand went instinctively to her abdomen. She felt nothing beneath the torn fabric but smooth, unmarred skin. She sagged back into the chair, eyes closing in relief. It had only been a dream. A dream of her death, but a dream all the same. She was alive now, not dead. She was alive.

"Are you all right?" Vincent inquired. She could feel his gaze upon her, intent, but not concerned. At least, he didn't seem that way. Opening her eyes to glance at him, Aeris nodded. She glanced out the window-by the pale grey light in the sky, she figured that it was morning. She hadn't realized she had slept for that long... almost an entire day. At least now she was dry... not as cold anymore. She retrieved the cloak from where it had fallen and wrapped it around her shoulders anyway.

Aeris noticed then that Vincent had never taken his gaze from her. She sat up, blinking at him. "What?"

He shifted slightly, eyes wandering to that perpetual spot on the wall. "I don't know exactly how much you know of what has come to pass, but... I felt you should know before you......" He trailed off, then looked at her again. "Cloud-"

"Married Tifa, I know," Aeris finished hurriedly, dropping her gaze to her feet. Vincent said nothing. Finally, she shook her head. "I tried not to think about it before... but you can't block out the truth, can you?" She lifted her eyes to meet Vincent's gaze. "You know what it feels like...don't you, Vincent?" It was a question that needed no answer, and the former Turk looked away.

"I don't know what to do..." Aeris continued. "I had always hoped that somehow I would be with him again, and everything would be fine... It was silly of me, really..."

"You should visit him at least," Vincent said without looking at her. "He loves you."

"I know... but..." She sighed. "How would Tifa feel...? She must know... and for me to come waltzing through their door... It would be strange, to say the least."

"You cannot avoid them forever," Vincent stated.

"I guess you're right... When I have enough energy... then I'll go." Aeris nodded to herself, and silence prevailed for another long stretch of time. "Vincent... I've been wondering... how did everyone react to... to my death? I know you were there-I heard your voice once I think."

He nodded silently, granting her small figure one brief glance. "Cloud was most upset... and quite angry at Sephiroth, as can be imagined... Nanaki was unable to speak, for the shock of it... and his own grief. The others were sad as well when they found out."

"......what about you?" Aeris inquired.

There was a long pause. "I... barely knew you at all. I suppose it surprised me somewhat..."

"......" Aeris looked down at her feet, a bit disapointed. But then, she couldn't expect him to feel sorry for her. He had been a Turk, afterall, and the only person he ever cared for was Lucrecia... And he was right... before she died, all she had known about him was his name, and that he had once been a Turk. In fact, he had always made her uneasy.

Glancing at him now still sent a faint shiver down her spine. Those sharp, bright red eyes were so cold, the pale face in sharp contrast with his dark hair, his expression so far removed from the rest of the world. It seemed that even now, he was still living in the past. And she doubted he would ever get over his love for Lucrecia, or the conviction that it was all his fault.

Her stomach growled suddenly, causing her cheeks to flush in embarrassment. Vincent glanced at her and raised one eyebrow very slightly. "Hungry?" he inquired. Aeris nodded. "I'll get you something to eat." That said, he strode swiftly-though not at all in a hurry-to the door, closing it softly behind him. Aeris stared after, pressing one hand against her stomach in a futile attempt to stop its rumbling. After a moment, she sighed and sat back in the chair, wondering idly if she had the strength to stand yet. It certainly didn't feel like it... She only felt tired... and hungry.


Vincent did not spare the door a backwards glance as he walked quickly down the hall. The building was fairly new, having been built a year or two ago, or so he judged by the smell of the wood beams and the overall appearance. It was a fairly large inn, built to house the increasing number of turists that came. Most came for the excavations. Others came to explore the ruins of the Forgotten City on the other side of the Sleeping Forest. And there were a few like himself that were simply passing through, on their way elsewhere.

As he entered the small common room, several people looked up at him. They instantly lowered their eyes upon meeting his gaze, however. One woman even moved to a table in the far corner of the room to be out of his notice. Once he thought he was out of Vincent's sight, one man openly stared at the man, likely thinking him some murderer. And he's not entirely wrong, Vincent thought to himself.

Pausing for a moment, he looked around to locate the waitress. He then walked over to her, tapping her lightly on the shoulder to get her attention. She turned around, giving a slight start upon seeing him. She stared for a moment, taking a step backward, then stuttered out, "Y-yes?"

"I would like a simple dinner prepared, if you would," he said, voice firm and quiet. The woman blinked-most people were eating breakfast-but she wasn't about to protest to this man. Sparing his claw a frightened look, she nodded hurriedly and scurried off to the kitchen. Vincent glanced at her, then wandered over to lean against the wall farthest from the door, closing his eyes indifferently. He could hear some tourists at a nearby table speaking in hushed voices, and, opening one eye to peer at them, he noticed them glancing at him frequently. He closed his eyes again. He knew what they thought. And he did not care.

After a while, the serving woman came back out, catching his attention with a timid, "Sir?" He straightened, taking the tray of food from her and nodding to her before turning to carry the tray back to Aeris. He could feel several pairs of eyes on him as he left the common room.

Once back inside the room, he closed the door carefully with his metal claw and handed the tray to Aeris. She took it gratefully with a murmured "thank you." This said, she immidiately began eating. The tray held a large bowl of soup, two rolls, and one red apple. Vincent took up his place against the wall and remained silent, having nothing to say. But the silence weighed heavy on his heart, provoking unwelcome thoughts to enter his battered mind.

The Cetra had claimed that Lucrecia had loved him. Lucrecia herself had told him the same. He had spent an entire thirty years telling himself that she never loved him, that it was all his fault that she died, that he deserved to rot in hell. But... what if she truly did love him? What then? Did it really make any difference...? She was still dead, and it was still his fault... even more so perhaps... For hadn't he failed to notice that she wanted to be with him? And left her to suffer all alone...

Would she ever forgive him for that? No, he did not deserve her forgiveness... and she could never forgive him. She never would...

Lucrecia...

I wish that I could hold you, just once more... see you just once... hear your voice again...

But you cannot do that, now can you, Vincent?

No.

You abandoned her, fed her to the wolves, left her to fend for herself when she needed you most.

You avoided her because it hurt you to see her, because every time you saw her, you knew she wasn't yours.

...selfish...

You abandoned her.

...cruel...

You fed her to the wolves.

...inhuman...

She needed you.

...heartless...

Because of you, she suffered.

...soulless...

Because of you, she died.

......monster......

You deserve your punishment.

...monster...

Rot in guilt.

Monster............

"Vincent?" Aeris's voice cut through his thoughts. "Are you all right?" Vincent looked up at her, blinking slightly. "You were looking really sad..." she continued, peering at him, concern plain on her face.

He nodded. "I'm fine." Sad? No... even when Lucrecia had died, he had never been sad. He had been angry. Angry at himself for letting her die. Guilty, remorseful, regretful... But never sad... never sad... Monsters don't feel sadness. He glanced out the window, a slight frown marring the emotionless mask. But can monsters feel guilt? a small voice asked. He shook his head, quickly dismissing it.

"I've been thinking," the girl said suddenly. She stared idly into her half-finished bowl of soup for a moment, swirling it around with her spoon. Finally, she looked up at him. "What if I managed to revive Lucrecia for you?"

Vincent blinked, startled by the question. He stared at her for a moment, then inquired, "What... do you mean?"

"I mean, how would you react?" she replied, shifting in her seat.

He turned away slightly, said nothing for several long moments. "...She deserves another chance at life. Me, I don't deserve a thing. I would simply do whatever she asked of me..." He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, then lowered his gaze to stare thoughtfully at his metallic claw. "But... if she truly loves me... I would stay with her, if she wanted... Only if she wanted." He sighed. "But, why? Why would she love a monster?"

Aeris shook her head in apparent confusion. "Vincent, you're not a monster."

"Of course I am," he replied calmly. "I abandoned her..."

"...because you thought you were hurting her," Aeris added. "You didn't do anything wrong."

Vincent turned to face her, fixing her with an icy stare. "She died because of it. You call that nothing?"

Aeris sighed and shook her head. "Regardless of whether you are a monster or not, or whether it actually was your fault, she loved you for a reason. She loved you for who you were, who you are." Vincent's gaze only grew colder as the girl continued. "And maybe it's time you figured out for yourself who that is. Hiding in that coffin won't change a thing."

He didn't believe her at all... no, maybe he just didn't want to believe her. But who was he fooling? What was he so afraid of that he continued to exile himself? The answer came quickly enough: You're afraid that if you let down your guard, that someone will become dear to you. That you'd only end up hurting them... that they'd end up like Lucrecia. You wouldn't be able to live with yourself if it happened again.

"Aeris... I can't..." he said softly, mentally cursing himself when he heard how much emotion was conveyed in such a short sentence. You're afraid, Vincent... You think you're cursed...? Well, perhaps you are. And there is no way to lift the curse. You can only hide it, relive the past in hopes of finding some way to change things. Every little mistake you made, every flaw in your speech, every miscalculation, false assumption... they all added up to her death. In the end, it was your fault that she died. It was your fault that everything turned out this way.

"Vincent?" Aeris sounded anxious. He really had to get a grip on his emotions, conceal his thoughts. He turned away so that she could not see his face and said nothing. You really are the perfect Turk, Vincent. Just look around you, see all the chaos you've created. See all the lives you've ruined, the people who should have led happy lives that are either dead or permanently scarred...

Oh, you've left your mark on the world. What little good you might have done in Avalanche comes to nothing. You won't be remembered for that, oh no. If anyone remembers you at all, it will be as the heartless killing machine, the best Turk that ever lived... You don't even deserve to die. No, the Planet wouldn't want you. Heh, you'd probably poison it. You deserve to live for all eternity in mental anguish, until your mind is shattered and all that remains are fragments of memories of who you once were: A monster.

"You wanted to know... how I would react...?" he said, turning to face the Cetra. She quailed from his sharp gaze. He could see himself reflected in a mirror on the far wall-he truly did look evil, with that deadly gleam in his eyes. "I would tell her to find someone else, someone who is more worthy of her love. Heh... and then I would ask of her... I would ask her to tell me how much she hates me, and tell me what a monster I am, and how it was all my fault, and how much I deserve to rot in hell..."

"Vincent..." Aeris said, eyes reflecting all the compassion in her heart, kindness that she did not know how to express. Vincent merely gazed at her, raising one eyebrow as if to ask why she felt such empathy towards him, of all people. No, he wasn't a person. He was a demon. Yes, a demon, a monster, a freak, an abomination... He replaced the emotionless mask over his face and gazed morosely out the window at the trees that stood just outside. The soft wind seemed to rustle the leaves in time to the aching in his own heart.