You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say
~He's Everything You Want, Vertical Horizon
"Elena, just what do you think you're doing?" Reno inquired from his position in the doorway.
"Packing," she replied, hurriedly scurrying about her room, grabbing things from drawers and shelves and tossing them into a green duffel bag.
Reno raised an eyebrow and smirked slightly. "Where are you going this time?"
The blond paused, flicking her hair out of her face in an irritated fashion. She had let it grow out over the past few years, but a few strands were still short enough to escape the ponytail she now wore. "I'm going to Costa del Sol. Cloud and Tifa are there, right?"
The red-head rolled his eyes and laughed. "Is this another one of your ventures? I'm telling you, there is absolutely no way that Ancient girl is gonna be alive!"
Elena whirled to face him, folding her arms across her chest. "I have it on very good authority that she was seen in Bone Village less than a week ago."
"Oh? Prove it," Reno ordered, a smug grin on his face. Elena dug a piece of paper out of her pocket and thrust it at him. "The innkeeper is one of your 'correspondents'?" he inquired. He laughed, then read the letter aloud.
"'Elena-
"'It's been years since you asked me, so I don't even know if you're still looking, but... It was just yesterday when they came in. There were four of them, but a certain girl caught my attention. She was soaking wet, and had wrapped herself in a red cloak, but underneath it she was wearing a pink dress, just like you said. Her hair was very long, and brown, and her eyes were the most amazing shade of emerald that I've ever seen! She looked very weak, though-some man was carrying her. He looked dangerous, if you ask me... he could have been a Turk, like you. But I suppose that's not what you're interested in. The other two left maybe an hour after they came, but the girl and that man are still here for the moment. I'll let you know when they leave.'"
By this time, Reno's face had become much more serious as he stuffed the letter into his own pocket and regarded Elena solemnly. "Okay, I believe you now..." he muttered.
Elena grinned in satisfaction, thrusting some last object into her bag before zipping up the bag and slinging it over her shoulder. "I got that yesterday," she said excitedly. "So then I called him up and told him to phone me when they left-he didn't have our number before. And so earlier this morning I got a call from him saying that they left, so that means they're probably headed to Costa del Sol where Cloud lives, because Aeris will want to see him, so that's why I'm going there."
Reno winced. "Oi... Stoppit with the logic already..." he complained. Elena laughed. "You still haven't told me why you're so insistent on finding her. I mean, you barely even know her name, right?"
Elena shrugged uncomfortably. "It's just something I gotta do."
Reno grinned slyly. "Does it have somethin' to do with Tseng, mebbe?" She said nothing. "Ha!! I knew it! He wanted you to tell her something for him, right? Right!?" Elena sighed and nodded. "So what was it?"
"It's none of your business, Reno," she snapped. He shrugged innocently. Elena shifted the bag on her shoulder. "So, anyway, I'm leaving. See you in a couple days... a week at most."
The other Turk hesitated, as though he was contemplating whether or not to say more, but he just grinned and waved. "See ya then."
The sudden knock on the door startled Tifa from her sleep. She rolled over, glancing at the clock. It was almost nine o'clock, Sunday morning. Cloud was still asleep, lying near her, snoring quietly. He was a deep sleeper, as she had found out over the years. She on the other hand... again came the knock on the door, not any more impatient than the first time, but still quite insistent.
Tifa groaned and rolled out of bed, grabbing her bathrobe from where it lay on the floor and donning it before walking to open the door, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Whoever it was, didn't they know that everyone liked to sleep in on Sundays? Muttering under her breath, she opened the door, about to put on her cheery smile, when her mouth simply dropped open and she staggered, gripping the doorknob to keep herself from falling.
"Hi, Tifa," came a pleasant voice that she hadn't heard in over five years now.
"Aeris!?" Tifa spluttered in disbelief.
The girl nodded, smiling faintly. "Yeah... Don't bother pinching yourself," she added with a laugh. "This isn't a dream. I'll explain everything... but... where's Cloud?"
Tifa kept staring at her, unable to believe her eyes. One hand reached out, unbidden, to touch Aeris's shoulder, as if to reassure her that the girl was, in fact, real. She blinked and shook her head. "Right, sorry..." It was only then that she noticed the tall, dark figure standing a few paces behind Aeris. Why was Vincent there? Her face flashed with several emotions-joy that Aeris was alive, surprise that she had come here, and with Vincent, but overwhelming was the confusion. How, why, what...??
Tifa blinked again and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry," she repeated. "Come on in... you, too, Vincent," she called to the silent man. She turned and walked back inside, yelling, "Cloud!! You won't believe who's here!!"
There came a loud groan from the bedroom and several minutes later, Cloud emerged clad in a large T-shirt and boxer shorts. He ran a hand through his messy shock of blond hair, stopping half-way as he spotted Aeris. He stood there in the hallway, staring at her in disbelief. He made several attempts to speak, but no words came out. Finally, he looked to Tifa for an explanation.
"Cloud......" Aeris said quietly. She took a few steps forward, but stopped short, lowering her eyes to keep herself from staring. It was obvious to Tifa that she was trying to restrain her emotions. Vincent must have told her about their marriage... They had sent him an invitation, even if he hadn't come to the wedding. Tifa looked back at Cloud, saying nothing. He was just as shocked and confused as she was.
"A... Aeris?" he finally managed. She smiled, and stepped forward to hug Cloud, though she ended the embrace fairly quickly, glancing uncertainly at Tifa.
"It's all right, Aeris," Tifa assured her. The girl nodded gratefully.
"Wha... how...... did you...?" Cloud stuttered. He shook his head and blinked several times, then spoke again, somewhat more steadily than before. "Maybe we had better sit down so you can explain...?" he suggested shakily.
There was unanimous agreement and Tifa led the other three to the living room where she sat down next to Cloud. Aeris sat on the couch opposite them. Cloud blinked as Vincent strode past him, apparently not having seen him before. The man took up a position against the far wall, still saying absolutely nothing. He hasn't changed one bit, Tifa thought to herself before turning her attention to Aeris.
"I know you're both very confused," she said. She paused, taking in a deep breath, then letting it out. She glanced once at Vincent, then looked over at Cloud. "You know about how Sephiroth came back to life, right?" Both nodded, and Cloud's mouth tightened in a frown. Tifa remembered him telling her about the call... that was, what... nearly a week ago? "Well... a few days ago, he decided that he'd try and undo all the things he destroyed before..."
Tifa exchanged surprised looks with Cloud. Why would Sephiroth want to actually help anyone? "So the first thing he did was to go North to revive me..." Aeris continued.
"And it worked?" Cloud asked before realizing what a stupid question it was.
Both Aeris and Tifa laughed aloud, and Tifa poked him in the side. "I don't think Cloud's entirely awake yet." He grinned, flushing in embarrassment.
"But wouldn't Sephiroth be with you then...?" Cloud asked, this time with more reason.
Aeris shook her head. "I stayed in Bone Village to recuperate while Sephiroth went off to continue fixing things... He didn't say exactly where he was going."
Tifa frowned. "Why didn't Vincent go with?"
"Because I was too weak to take care of myself... or so was the verdict," Aeris said, grinning a little.
"Are you sure you can trust him by himself?" Cloud asked worriedly.
Vincent nodded. "There is no need for you to worry," he said. It was the first time Tifa had heard him speak in five years. His voice, and expression, seemed even more detached than she remembered. "His logic is as clear as it was before he first discovered his past."
"I'll just have to take your word for it..." Cloud said, not comforted much.
"Cloud, really," Aeris put in, her words having more of an effect on him. "Sephiroth is completely trustworthy now." He hesitated, then nodded, reassured. Tifa relaxed also-if Aeris trusted her killer, there was no reason for everyone else to fear him.
However reassuring her statement was, an awkward silence sprung up between the three-or rather, the four, but no one was paying much attention to Vincent at the moment. A complex weave of emotions hung in the air, one that no one dared to disturb. Tifa shifted uncomfortably, then finally stood up. "I'm going to take a shower," she announced. Maybe it would help her to untangle her thoughts... She nodded minutely to Aeris and walked off to the bathroom. Yes, a nice, long shower...
Aeris watched as Tifa walked out of the room. She didn't blame her friend-it was very awkward here, with the two of them and... Cloud. They both loved him, he saw Tifa as a friend, loved Aeris, but had married Tifa due to the death of the Cetra. It was a complicated matter, and terribly restricting...
Turning her attention back to Cloud, she found herself staring into his beautiful Mako blue eyes... she could get lost in those depths, if she didn't watch herself. She wanted to hug him, to kiss him, to hold him all to herself, but one thought kept her from even touching him again-what about Tifa? He was married to Tifa, and even being here she felt as though she were betraying her friend. But she couldn't leave Cloud in the dark. She had to let him know that she was alive...
But now he knew... so... she could leave, right? Staring into those eyes, she saw a war of emotions that perfectly mirrored hers. She couldn't leave yet. The three of them had to get things straightened out.
"Aeris..." Cloud said, bringing an end to the thick and heavy silence. "It's... good to see you again... I'm glad you're alive..."
Aeris nodded. "I'm happy to see you, too, Cloud," she nearly whispered, afraid that if she spoke any louder, her voice might betray her feelings. "But......" She shot a glance towards the bathroom door, which could be seen across the hall. Cloud followed her gaze, and stared at the door for a moment, before lowering his gaze to an intent study of the nearby table.
"At first I thought..." Cloud began after a long silence, "that maybe, somehow you would come back... so I waited. The years went by, and there was nothing, no sign that maybe I might finally be able to tell you how I felt..." He shook his head, still not lifting his gaze from the table. "Tifa, she was faithful to me, she never once left my side... but I could tell that she was suffering from the same kind of fruitless waiting that I was..."
Here he finally looked up at Aeris, Mako blue eyes painful. "And I couldn't let that happen to her... I just couldn't. I knew that if I left her alone, she would just wither away and there would be nothing left but an empty shell..." Out of the corner of her eye, Aeris saw Vincent stir slightly at these words. "...I knew that the same thing could happen to me. I thought that, well... the two of us being together in this fashion might help to heal our wounds... to satisfy them..." He fell silent.
".........and did it?" Aeris asked softly. Cloud said nothing, only turning his head to stare at the bathroom door, avoiding the Cetra's gaze. She sighed. "I never had much hope that I would return, but there was always some absurd fantasy, that someone could revive me, that the Planet would take special pity on me...
"... In the 'Promised Land,' I didn't find any happiness. So I spent my years watching you from above... I grew used to being on the outside, looking in. I wasn't supposed to be a part of life anymore. I was just an observer."
She let her eyes follow Cloud's to the door. "And... when you married Tifa... that's when I was certain that there wasn't any hope for me. For a few days I tried to deny it... but that amounted to nothing. So I tried to be happy for you... I was always watching, completely absorbed... I guess I thought that if I ever tore my gaze away and was left to my own thoughts, my loneliness would consume me. I wanted to be with you, but... I was dead, and you were married."
Aeris lowered her gaze, leaning back and studying the small tear in her dress. If she thought about it for any length of time, she could feel the blade of the Masamune piercing her flesh, the intense pain accompanied by the horrifying cold, and the terrible heat, all at once... but she hadn't even cried out. She had just continued smiling... "Cloud... I'm sorry things had to turn out this way. It's all my fault, really... I shouldn't have gone off on my own."
At this, Cloud blinked and looked up at her, startled. "No, Aeris," he said quickly. "It was never your fault... I was the one who gave the Black Materia to Sephiroth. If it hadn't been for my weakness, you would never have had to try and summon Holy. You would never have died.... And you wouldn't be in this awkward position."
"Cloud, please... don't blame yourself..." Aeris begged. "That's the last thing I want you to do."
"Then return the favor," he answered. "I don't want you blaming yourself either."
She nodded, then stood slowly. "I should leave soon... I don't want to cause any more damage to your relationship with Tifa than I already have."
"Aeris-"
"No, Cloud, I can't stay... not with Tifa around. I know I'll only mess things up... That's why I should go... before something happens that we'll all regret."
"Go where?" asked a voice from the doorway. Aeris blinked, then turned to see Tifa standing there, clad in her robe again, with a towel resting on her shoulders. Her long chocolate-brown hair lay in wet locks, spilling down her back. Her brown eyes were inquisitive, yet also full of concern.
"...I don't know," Aeris replied after great length. "I'll probably just wander around until I find someone who's willing to take me in..."
"Aeris..." Tifa said, her eyes shining with empathy for her friend. "I'm sure Cloud wouldn't mind if you stayed here... right, Cloud?" He nodded.
Aeris shook her head. "Tifa... I can't... and you know it."
Tifa sighed as she took her seat beside Cloud once more. "Wishful thinking, I guess... but I don't like the idea of just turning you out into the world, without any certainties at all..."
"It's okay, Tifa," Aeris assured her. She paused, then added, "Besides, I'm sure Vincent will be willing to put up with me for a while longer... right?" She glanced at the silent gunman in the corner. Both Cloud and Tifa blinked in surprise-they had completely forgotten about him-and turned to look at him. He eyed Aeris coolly for a moment, then nodded slightly, saying nothing.
Tifa fidgeted slightly. She wasn't sure how she felt about letting Aeris go off with Vincent... Certainly, he was a good fighter, and could protect her from any harm, but... he wasn't good company. He tended to lower one's moral, rather than raise it. Or at least, that's what Tifa had found. Maybe Aeris was more comfortable in his presence. But the question was-why would Vincent even care about her? He was the most aloof and uncaring person Tifa had ever met... wouldn't he rather go back to his nightmares, or get on with whatever life he wanted to live?
She wanted to talk to Aeris about it, but she couldn't do that with Vincent right there in the same room. It would have to wait until later. "...All right," she conceded. "But don't leave so soon... at least stay until tomorrow."
"Okay," Aeris agreed. She sat there for a moment, fingering the tear in her dress.
"Aeris, why don't we find you some new clothes?" Tifa suggested. "Yours are a bit worn-out-looking..."
"Yeah..." Aeris said, grinning sheepishly and looking up at Tifa. "I was just thinking about that... Do you think I could borrow some of yours for a while?"
"No need!" Tifa declared. "We'll go shopping at the dressmaker's down the street." She smiled at the prospect, and Aeris nodded emphatically. "Just let me go get dressed."
Aeris watched her walk out, then turned to Cloud. "You don't mind, do you? I mean, I assume you don't want to come with..." She giggled a little at the memory of the last time Cloud was in a dress shop...
He shook his head, looking slightly embarrassed. "I don't mind. You two go ahead."
"Thanks, Cloud," Aeris said as she stood up.
Tifa poked her head into the room, now dressed in a pair of black short-shorts and a beige tank top. "Are you ready to go?"
"Yep," Aeris replied. The two of them walked out of the villa and down the steps to the main street. Costa del Sol had grown considerably in the past five years. New streets wound through residential areas and shopping districts alike. Even a few cars were parked along the sides, and, once or twice, a convertible whizzed past the two as they walked to the shop.
"A lot has changed while I was dead," Aeris remarked, head turning about in all directions.
"That sounds very strange..." Tifa commented.
Aeris paused, blinking, then laughed. "Yeah, it does... 'while I was dead'... But it's true. I wonder how Midgar's doing..."
"Dunno," Tifa replied. "Neither of us have been there in several years..."
"Yeah..." Aeris agreed as they entered a shop on one side of the street. Inside, there were several isles of racks, and the two immediately turned down one, meandering slowly through, inspecting and scrutinizing every piece of clothing that caught their eyes. Every now and then, one would hold up some object, asking 'How about this one?' The other would think for a moment before shaking her head.
"Are you sure you'll be alright with Vincent?" Tifa asked abruptly after they had been searching for a while.
Aeris blinked. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I know he's not exactly interesting company... he barely speaks at all..." Tifa answered as she held up another dress for examination.
Aeris shrugged and they moved on. "I'll be fine... He's a lot nicer than he seems, you know."
Tifa tilted her head at the other woman. "How so? You've gotten to know him in the past few days?"
"Well... not only that, but..." She paused, frowning disinterestedly at a red dress she happened to have in her hands. "I saw his nightmare, Tifa..." she said, putting the dress back and walking on slowly, not really paying much attention to what she was looking at. "After seeing that, I've developed a new sort of respect for what he went through... and a good deal of pity. He doesn't like to show it, but he's really suffering over that..."
"And that's why he's so cold?" Tifa inquired, eyeing the girl strangely.
Aeris nodded. "You should have seen him then... when he was with Lucrecia..." she said wistfully. "He actually smiled... It's sad that he's so detached now."
"I can imagine..." Tifa said, though Aeris suspected she was just saying that.
The Cetra took a black dress from the rack and peered at it for a moment, then held it up for Tifa to see. "What do you think?"
"Black??" Tifa inquired, a bit startled.
"What?" Aeris asked. "You don't think I'd look good in black...?"
"Well... um... you just don't seem like the type of person to wear black... I don't know..." Aeris shrugged and put it back.
At length, Tifa spoke again. "So you're absolutely fine with Vincent?"
Aeris let out a mock sigh of exasperation and nodded, smiling a little. "Yes, I told you that before. I'll be perfectly fine. If you're going to worry about anyone, you should worry about Vincent!" Tifa almost laughed at this, but something in Aeris's tone of voice kept her from doing so, and they just turned down the next isle of clothing.
"Besides, he volunteered to look after me in the first place..." Aeris added more quietly. "Surely that counts for something?"
Tifa raised her eyebrows in surprise. "You mean he offered to take care of you, instead off you asking him?"
Aeris nodded. "I was trying to persuade them that I would be fine on my own... but I think we all knew that was a lie. When Sephiroth revived me, it not only took up Spirit energy from the Planet, but it took a lot out of me, too... So Vincent stayed behind when Sephiroth left."
"Hmm... maybe you're right about him..." Tifa said thoughtfully, though Aeris thought it seemed as though she still wondered why Vincent would care at all what happened to a young girl he barely knew... Aeris would have wondered herself, if she hadn't seen him with Lucrecia.
"Yeah..." Aeris agreed. "If only someone could get Vincent to see that."
Tifa shrugged. "I think too much damage has been done to reverse it... but I guess anything is possible..." Aeris nodded in agreement as they fell silent and went back to looking at various garments.
Cloud walked back into the living room, now fully dressed, to find that Vincent had not moved from his place against the far wall. The older man watched him as he flopped back down on the couch, but said nothing. After a while, Cloud glanced at him. "Are you ever going to sit down?" Vincent shrugged, and made no move towards the couch.
Cloud sighed and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. So, Aeris was alive again... Seeing her again stirred up so many feelings that he had been trying to suppress for the past five years. He wanted to hug her close to him, to feel her slender form in his arms... but that was something that would never happen now. He had married Tifa, out of loneliness... well, it had been in part to help Tifa, but it had also been a vain attempt to heal his own heart. Aeris's death had cut deeper than anything else ever had, and he had always regretted that he hadn't been able to tell her how he felt. Maybe now he never would. How could he, with Tifa involved like this?
Yes, Aeris was alive now... but that only complicated matters... He was glad that she was alive, really, he was. She hadn't deserved to die in the first place, and it was all his fault that she had died. He had been right there, yet he had done nothing to stop Sephiroth... It was all his fault things ended up this way, this tangled... But, if Aeris had lived... where would Tifa be? Would she end up withering away because she never had the strength to tell him how she felt, because he was so dense that he never noticed? Marrying her had brought her spirit back from the brink of death, he could tell... but for his own heart, Cloud wasn't so sure.
He almost wished that he was a heartless puppet... at least then he wouldn't be so torn. What was he supposed to do? What could he do? There was no way he could un-marry Tifa. And that would be too painful for her anyway. But he didn't like having to push Aeris away, when he loved her so much... and when she loved him back. He could only hope that she was strong enough to get over him... maybe even find someone else. He could live with himself as the victim, he supposed. Hopefully he wouldn't end up like Vincent, but he could live with it if Tifa helped him. But what about Aeris...? And would Tifa feel guilty because she was getting in the way?
"Why is life so complicated?" he wondered aloud, forgetting that he wasn't entirely alone. Vincent looked at him, and Cloud thought he saw some kind of sympathy in the man's garnet eyes. No, that couldn't be... but he could tell that the former Turk knew what he was thinking about.
"Matters of the heart are always complicated," Vincent said, "and only too often, they end in tragedy and pain..."
"I guess you would know..." Cloud commented. "What with Lucrecia and all..." Vincent said nothing, tearing his gaze away from the spiky-haired youth to look at the blank wall. Cloud kept his Mako blue eyes fixed on the former Turk. "...I was wondering... why did you decide to help Aeris? It doesn't mean anything to you, does it?"
"Do you really think me that cold-hearted?" Vincent queried, glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. Cloud couldn't tell whether or not Vincent agreed with his own evaluation. The former Turk did seem cold-hearted, and he knew it. "She was weak and needed someone to look after her. I, by default, was the only one who could."
Cloud shrugged uncomfortably. "Is that it? It's just a logical process of elimination?" Vincent made no reply, not even to nod or shake his head. Cloud eyed him curiously. "Vincent, what's the real reason you chose to stay with her?"
Vincent sighed, looked down at the wood-paneled floor. There was a long silence before the answer finally escaped his lips. "...she reminds me so much of Lucrecia..." he murmured.
Cloud blinked in surprise at this statement, then thought back to Aeris... She had to find someone else... If she reminded Vincent of Lucrecia, his lost love, perhaps he could grow to actually care for Aeris, too, right? But Aeris... wouldn't be able to return the feelings... and he would just end up getting hurt again. And Vincent was not the kind of person Aeris needed. She needed someone she could talk to, and laugh with... Vincent just wasn't that type of man.
Cloud shook his head. What was he thinking? He was practically playing matchmaker! And what a ridiculous match he had come up with...! It was highly unlikely that Vincent would ever love anyone other than Lucrecia anyway... He had to put his mind to something more... something that made more sense.
"...what did Aeris say, when Sephiroth revived her?" Cloud inquired. He was curious as to what her priorities had been... whether she had thought about him...
"In the very beginning, she spoke only what was necessary," Vincent said, almost looking relieved to be off of the topic of Lucrecia, "but it seemed as though she had a lot on her mind..."
"...did she mention me at all?" Cloud asked, wincing inwardly at how selfish that sounded...
Vincent frowned slightly. "She was avoiding the topic, I think. She spoke very little of you, but when she did, it seemed as though your 'love triangle' was bothering her a great deal... I believe she was wondering where she would fit in all of this."
Cloud nodded. "I don't blame her for not wanting to think about it..." He frowned for a moment before asking, "What did she talk about?" Vincent shifted uncomfortably and said nothing. "...it involves Lucrecia?"
The other man nodded. "She was trying to... persuade me that Lucrecia's death was not my fault, and that she really did love me..."
Cloud shifted slightly. Why would Aeris bother with an argument that futile? But... it was only natural that she would feel empathy towards someone as emotionally shattered as Vincent. Cloud decided it was best to drop the conversation. He had nothing else to say to the gunman, and he really didn't think Vincent wanted to talk to him anyway. He had already spoken more than he usually did in a day... or at least, more than when Cloud had known him five years ago.
After only a few more minutes, he heard the front door open and close. Aeris walked back in, followed by Tifa. She was now wearing a black, pleated skirt and a green shirt beneath a dull, darker green jacket. She smiled at him and gave a little twirl, letting the skirt fan out around her.
"You look beautiful, Aeris," Cloud told her, trying not to stare too much.
"Thank you, Cloud," she said as she sat back down opposite him, tossing her wavy brown hair back over her shoulder. Tifa said nothing, but the expression in her eyes looked rather wistful. Cloud wished there was something he could do for her, but... he couldn't help the fact that he loved Aeris, and not her. He had tried to love her the way she wanted him to, but to him she was still only a friend.
"Cloud...?" Tifa ventured. She was still standing, and looked somewhat anxious now.
He looked up at her. "What is it?"
Tifa took a deep breath, then let it out, casting a glance in Aeris's direction. "I think that... that you and Aeris should, well... kiss, at least once..." Cloud blinked, startled. He stared at Tifa, trying to comprehend exactly what she was saying.
"I know you want to," she continued, "but that I'm getting in the way... So..." She took a few steps backward and lifted her hands in a sort of 'go ahead' gesture. Glancing over at Aeris, Cloud noticed that she looked just as surprised as he felt. She turned to smile at him, and slowly got to her feet. Cloud stood also, but did not move just yet. Even though the two were separated by the coffee table, he felt much closer to her.
He stepped around the table, stopping exactly one step away from her. Now he found himself staring down into her beautiful, deep green eyes. He had never seen that shade of green before, except on her, and those eyes had always enchanted him. He remembered their date at Gold Saucer, the moment when he had kissed her hand... And then in the gondola when she had been trying to tell him something... She was the only one who seemed to know that he was not exactly who he said he was. Even Cloud himself had not known it... But that night, he had barely paid any attention to her words. Those green eyes had captured him, and her voice had him mesmerized.
He took the final step towards her and slipped an arm around her waist, lifting the other to gently caress her cheek. He had dreamed of this moment only too often since her death, and known-no, thought-that it would never come true. He pulled her to him, bending to kiss her deeply, feeling the warmth of her body against his. It was wonderful to be this close to her, to feel her slender form... He never wanted to let her go.
Tifa watched as the two embraced, seeing how much they truly loved eachother. She sighed quietly and lowered her eyes. If only Cloud could love her that much... She longed for him to look at her the way he looked at Aeris, but she knew it would never happen. And she knew that it was not his fault. He couldn't help it. And yet... she felt almost downtrodden, cast away, left out... like an old toy that was no longer wanted.
Cloud had married her, though. She was Tifa Strife... and her husband was kissing his one true love probably for the first and the last time. It was her decision. She couldn't bare to keep her friends from having what they so wanted... She wished that she could just step aside, but at the same time she knew that it would only tear her apart.
When had she become so weak? No... she had always been that way. Maybe she was strong physically, but emotionally... she couldn't live without some kind of support. She needed Cloud, she clung to him for dear life. If she ever had to part with him... she didn't know what she would do. Sighing once more, she gazed longingly at the couple before her.
As they ended the kiss, Aeris hugged Cloud tighter about the waist, feeling the warmth of his body envelope her in one blissful moment. She felt safer here than anywhere else... safe, here in his arms... She buried her face in his chest. She never wanted this moment to end, but, sadly, she knew it had to.
She could imagine how much it hurt Tifa to see them like this. The other woman must envy them, especially Aeris herself... for she was the one who had stolen Cloud's heart. If she could, she would give it to Tifa... she deserved to be loved back. But she couldn't. She couldn't... The only thing that she could do was leave, and hope that her existence would be forgotten, hope that Cloud and Tifa could live together in happiness. Aeris had gotten used to the idea that she was always going to be alone, even though she would always love Cloud. A part of her hoped that she could get over him in time, and learn to love someone else... but another part of her never wanted to let go, and wondered-who else was there?
Slowly, reluctantly, she pulled away from Cloud, gazing up into those Mako blue eyes that seemed to captivate her very soul. He had taken her heart, she knew, and he could not give it back any more than she could give him his. "I'm sorry..." she whispered. There were a million thing she had to apologize for, too many to name... But mostly she was sorry for ever coming into his life, disturbing it like this... but Fate had taken them into her Time-worn hands, and put them together. And it was the same cruel Fate that had torn them apart, that painful night at the Forgotten City...
"Don't be," Cloud murmured back to her, his voice low so that Tifa could not hear. Aeris wasn't sure how sharp Vincent's hearing was. She didn't care if he heard though. "You leave all your regrets here... I want you to find someone else so you won't agonize over me."
She nodded, trying to smile for him. "I'll try... and you, you try your best to forget me, all right? I don't want to see you in pain... or Tifa." She paused, then a true smile crossed her face as she told him, "Learn to love her, Cloud. Maybe then your wounds will heal." He nodded slightly, one hand lingering on her waist before he turned away, looking over at Tifa. Aeris looked at her also. Neither gaze-Mako blue or bright green-betrayed any signs of the turbulent emotions hidden within.
Vincent watched the two in silence, hearing quite clearly every word and seeing every motion that passed between them. On the outside, he was as cold as ever... but on the inside, he found himself envious of the couple. Each loved the other, and was loved back. They knew that they were loved back... With Lucrecia... he had loved her, but not once, until she finally died in his arms, did the words 'I love you, too' escape her perfect lips. Never... Until she had but minutes to live.
He had trouble believing those last words... perhaps she had still been out of her mind, already in the process of dying... but something told him his disbelief was in no part her fault. She had spoken truth-Lucrecia had loved him. But he did not want to admit it... why? Was he afraid that it would make him even more of a monster, that his humanity would be lost completely?
Selfish.
Yes... but why bother fearing it? Whatever humanity he might once have had, it was already long gone... and he was as much a monster as he could be.
Or do you somehow believe Aeris, that you're not a monster...? No... that couldn't be. He was a monster. He deserved worse than death, and he was getting it. Damn him, he let her die... he let her die. It was all his fault. He studied Cloud and Aeris from the shadows. The love that they shared was something he had never deserved. His heart had refused to believe that it was his fate to be isolated, forever alone... Stubborn... he had fallen in love with Lucrecia, fallen harder than it seemed possible. He could not deny it-he still loved her, more than any words would give justice.
But it had never been his place to love. He had been denied a soul, should have been denied a heart. He was supposed to be a cold, emotionless, guiltless killer. Like a machine... But he was not. And he hated himself for it. Instead, he was something worse, something that killed just as readily, regardless of the pain and the remorse he would feel.
Another might argue that it was only natural, that, in being deprived of any good parental figure, any love when he was a child, he developed into this so-called 'monster.' Of course, it had also set him up for the idea that would follow him throughout his life-that no one could ever love him, and that he never deserved it in the first place. He never expected to be loved from the beginning, and when he heard the words, his mind automatically rejected them.
But the surprise that he himself could love was something that shook his entire foundation. At first, his mind refused to acknowledge it, but as the feeling grew, he was incapable of denying it any longer. One might say that, without having really learned how to deal with these kind of emotions, Vincent was entirely unprepared for the situation with Lucrecia.
So when it came time for him to make a decision-whether to let her be with Hojo, the way she apparently had chosen, or to intervene according to his own sketchy morals-Vincent was unable to step back and see with clarity the entire dilemma. His thought, If she is happy then... I don't mind, inevitably proved fatal for Lucrecia, which is what caused him to blame himself for her death. So one might wonder whether to place the blame on his parents. But the fact is that both of them died at a fairly early stage in his life, before the stage where they would have told him about these emotions, and how to deal with them.
In truth, then, none of the Valentine's were to blame, and nor was Lucrecia. Hojo, and possibly Professor Gast to some degree, are the main candidates for blame. Both of them, Hojo especially, managed to get Lucrecia caught up in the affair known as the Jenova Project. As her interest grew, so did her willingness to cooperate with the experiment. Also, her decision to choose Hojo over Vincent, despite the fact that she loved the scientist less, left her in an emotionally weakened state. Hojo merely took advantage of this when he asked her to carry the child for the experiment.
What neither Lucrecia nor Vincent knew, was that the Mako injection into her womb would kill her in the end if she was left unattended. The experiment was considered completely safe because all three scientists knew for a fact that the Jenova would not lead to fatality. However, in focussing on the main specimen, they made a mistake by overlooking the less obvious, but more dangerous, factor of Mako energy. At that time, knowledge of the causes and effects of Mako poisoning was not widely known.
It is not entirely clear whether Hojo knew of Lucrecia's deteriorating condition, but it is shown by his actions hours prior to her death that he would not have acted to save her either way. In using Vincent for yet another experiment, and leaving Lucrecia to die, he shows that he did not truly care for her at all. In fact, any feelings he may have had for the woman were most probably lust, rather than love. It can be considered that the death of Lucrecia was entirely the result of scientific miscalculation, betrayal, and carelessness on Hojo's part. In his eyes, Lucrecia was merely a tool needed to conceive the product of the experiment, after which it was no longer necessary for her to live...
Vincent, however, would not have taken this logical approach, especially without having all facts and certainties. While being a very logical man, he was never one to make assumptions. He saw it a proven fact that Lucrecia had no true feelings for him when she chose to marry Hojo. But, as his own feelings for her only continued to intensify, it was only natural for him to blame himself for her death. In loving her, he felt, in a way, responsible for her well-being, even if she was not his wife. And in this emotional approach, rather than a logical one, lies the flaw in Vincent's thinking. For truly the blame should not be laid on his shoulders, for he had no hand in the events leading up to her death.
And so he watched the couple with all the envy of one in his position. He had been denied the knowledge of Lucrecia's love for him until thirty long years after her original death. The absence of the simple phrase, 'I love you, too' had tortured him, taunted him, torn his already broken heart into further shreds. He had berated himself over the matter, punishing himself for something that anyone else would have thought was beyond his control. But... he had abandoned her. He shouldn't have let her die. He shouldn't have... but he had. Sighing, he closed his eyes, trying in vain to shut out the flood of accusations that would never stop.
You let her die, you let her die, you let her die... monster. Your bloodied hands never deserved to touch her, your murderous heart never deserved to love her, you never deserved her. Never. Never, never, never!! The reproaches and criticism continued on and on until one voice spoke out in firm protest-
But she loved you.
It was not said as an opinion. It was not a defense. It was a statement. And it cut clear through all of his barriers and walls, deep into his heart. Why? Why did she love him? He wished he knew. He wished that she could tell him. Then, maybe, everything would be better somehow. That maybe his life would be livable.
Aeris's words suddenly rang clear in his mind. She loved you for who you were, who you are. And maybe it's time you figured out for yourself who that is. And what if she was right? What if Lucrecia was there in the Lifestream, wishing that he would get over her and move on? No...
Selfish...
He couldn't think that. But... maybe, just maybe, it was time that he started living... For a moment, he almost decided that he would... But then the self-contempt stepped in. Monster... you don't deserve to live like everyone else.
"So, Vincent, what do you think?" came Aeris's voice, cutting through his thoughts.
He blinked. "Hmm?"
"Do you want to come with?" she asked.
Vincent frowned, not liking the fact that, completely engrossed in his own thoughts, he had missed their entire conversation. "Come where?" he inquired, annoyance thinly laced through his flat tone.
"Jeez," Cloud laughed. "I think this's a first. Vincent completely zoned out!" Tifa smirked in amusement, but Aeris's face remained serious.
"We're going to the beach," she stated. "Do you want to come with?" Vincent shook his head. Aeris looked somewhat disappointed, but she wasn't about to give up yet. "Why not?"
"I see no point in it," the former Turk stated.
"The point is to relax and have fun!" she declared. Tifa giggled, and Aeris almost laughed herself. The answer itself reminded him of the day Lucrecia had asked him if he wanted to build a snowman. He had asked what the purpose was and she had replied...... No. He had to stop comparing the two. If he didn't watch himself, Aeris would start becoming dear to him, and then he would only create another disaster somehow.
"Aeris, Vincent just doesn't 'have fun,'" Cloud told the girl, grinning slightly. "It's not like him."
"But don't you think it would be good for him to get out a little?" Tifa put in.
Cloud shrugged. "I guess... but I don't see how we'd get him to agree to it."
Vincent frowned. "I would prefer if you would not speak of me as though I was in another room," he said coldly.
"Sorry..." Tifa apologized.
"So are you coming?" Aeris inquired. Vincent did not reply. He had a feeling that whether he agreed to it or not, they would still manage to drag him to the beach with them.
"Well?" Cloud asked. "We don't have all day."
Sighing, Vincent nodded. "I'll come... but don't think I am doing it of my own free will..."
"He's lying," Cloud whispered to Tifa, but both Aeris and Vincent could still hear. "He just wants to look at all the pretty girls in bathing suits." Tifa laughed.
Aeris smiled and shook her head. "Cloud-"
"Kidding, kidding," he laughed. It seemed all three were in a good mood now, their complex feelings forgotten... but when their smiles faded slightly, he could detect the uncertainty and discomfort they all felt.
"Well then, let's get ready," Tifa said, standing up. The three all left the room, Aeris saying something to Tifa about borrowing a bathing suit. No one bothered to ask Vincent if he needed one-it was assumed that they could not push him to that extent. And, of course, they were right. Nothing short of Lucrecia begging him would get him to don swim trunks... Lucrecia... He shook his head. Stop it. Stop thinking of her.
You can't stop. You love her too much. He hoped that this little trip to the beach would provide some sort of distraction from his painful thoughts... he hoped, vainly. Little could manage to attract much of his interest now. Life had lost it's shine long ago, when she had... Stop it. You must atone for your sins. Torture yourself all you can, but you will never wash the blood from your hands. Her life was taken, her blood was spilled... you let her die.
Vincent sighed heavily and murmured under his breath, "I'm sorry...... will you ever forgive me?"
"Who are you talking to?" Tifa asked. Vincent blinked and looked up to find her leaning against the doorframe in a red bikini, towel over one shoulder. He had thought he was alone. He shook his head and looked away. He could feel Tifa's intent gaze on him, and, after a moment, he heard her whisper under her breath, "Maybe Aeris was right..." From the tone of her voice, he knew he had not been meant to hear...
"Right about what?" he inquired.
It was Tifa's turn to be surprised. She blinked and opened her mouth to answer. No words came for several seconds. "I... Aeris said that... that you were nicer than you seemed..." She shrugged uncomfortably. Apparently, she didn't like the idea that Vincent's hearing was good enough to detect a bare whisper from all the way across the room without even trying. He could hear much better, if he put any thought into it.
Both outwardly and inwardly, Vincent scoffed at the statement. She thinks I'm nice, of all things? I wonder where she got that idea... He had never been nice to anyone. You were nice to Lucrecia. He shook his head minutely. No. You let her die. Not nice to Lucrecia, even.
Tifa shrugged, and glanced behind her towards where Vincent could hear Cloud and Aeris talking quietly. "I think we're ready to go," she said. "Come on." Vincent nodded and followed her out into the hallway where they met up with Aeris and Cloud. Aeris smiled at him, then tugged absently at the strap of her borrowed black bathing suit.
"Let's go, then," Cloud said upon seeing that everyone was ready. The four of them walked out of the villa and down the sandstone steps to the street. If there had only been the three of them, people would have thought nothing of them. But the added presence of Vincent drew stares, and many of them fearful at that. A few recalled seeing him before, but most kept their distance regardless of this. The impression that he did not belong in such a light-hearted place was strong. And with his heavy clothing and long black hair that shrouded his face in shadow, they wondered why he was out in the sun. Wasn't he hot?
But Vincent paid them no mind, ignoring them as he did the heat from the sun. They came to the beach, which was much busier than last he had seen it. The group found a few vacant beach chairs and tossed their towels onto them, kicking off flip-flops and putting on suntan lotion. Vincent merely scanned the shore before seating himself on the edge of one of the chairs, in the shade of a large umbrella. Cloud and Tifa went into the water without hesitation, but Aeris spared him a quick glance before she, too, waded through the waves.
Vincent's hollow eyes fixedly watched the surf breaking on the shore, the way the water reached out across the sand, then reluctantly drew back into the ocean, only to be followed by another wave. The motion was monotonous and held his eyes entranced while his thoughts wandered back to where they always were, towards Lucrecia. Sadly, he stared out across the deep azure waters towards the distant horizon. He found himself regretting that they had never gone to the beach together. She would have liked the ocean...
"Hey there," said a feminine voice, rudely interrupting his thoughts. Vincent looked up slowly and found that a woman had made her way over to him and was standing in front of him with a smile on her face. She was wearing a bikini, like almost every other woman on the beach, and her blond hair hung damp just past her shoulders. Her blue eyes held a slight sense of mischief to them.
"Yes?" he answered tonelessly, wondering why she had singled him out. A dare, perhaps? Yes, that seemed most likely-'See that guy over there? I dare you to try and ask him out.'
"Mind if I sit down?" she asked pleasantly. He said nothing, eyes wandering back to where the waves broke on the shore. "I'll take that as a 'no,'" she decided, sitting down beside him. "I couldn't help noticing you," she continued. "I was wondering why you looked so sad......?"
"Excuse me," Vincent said flatly without looking at her, "but I do not know you, therefore I have no reason to speak to you."
"You could get to know me," the woman suggested with a warm smile. "My name's Caitlyn. What's yours?" He shook his head slowly without replying.
Out in the water, Aeris happened to glance back and notice the woman who was bothering Vincent. She turned to Cloud, who had just lifted Tifa onto his shoulders to give her a piggy-back ride. "Do you think I should go rescue him?" she inquired of the two, gesturing back towards shore.
The others looked where she pointed and both smirked a little. Tifa even giggled. Even from this distance, it was clear that Vincent didn't want anything to do with Caitlyn. "Yeah, maybe you should," Cloud agreed. "You know how Vincent is with people he doesn't know."
Aeris nodded and started wading back to the beach, calling over her shoulder, "Be right back." She walked up to the woman, who was still trying to get Vincent's name. She put her hands on her hips and stated, "Sorry, but Vincent's already taken."
Vincent glanced at her, and there was a look of relief on his face. Caitlyn blinked and looked up at Aeris, smiling a little, but her voice held an irritated edge. "Oh? By who, you?"
The question startled Aeris. She hadn't even thought about it. Quickly she shook her head. "No, by someone else. Don't bother looking for her because she's not here."
"Why not?" Caitlyn asked, standing up and folding her arms. "Why would any sensible woman leave her boyfriend on the beach alone?"
"What kind of question is that?" Aeris wanted to know. "She knows that he's not going to go off with some other woman, especially not you, so find someone else to bother and leave Vincent alone." She could feel the former Turk's crimson gaze eyeing her thoughtfully, but managed not to break eye contact with Caitlyn.
"Okay, okay..." she conceded. Aeris saw Vincent stand up out of the corner of her eye. "But could you tell me who this woman is? 'Cause it sounds like you could just be making things up." She raised her eyebrows in challenge.
Surprisingly, Vincent was the first to answer. "Lucrecia..." he murmured, casting Caitlyn a piercing stare before turning to walk away. The woman blinked and stared after him, somehow rendered speechless by that one word... or maybe it was the look in his eyes.
"Vincent," Aeris called after him. "Where are you going?" She trotted to catch up and walked along side him, flicking her wet bangs out of her face.
He glanced down at her, then looked back up. "I'm going back to the villa. I have had enough of this."
"But-"
"I said that I would come with," he answered before she could even get the question out. "I did not say that I would stay."
Aeris darted around in front of him, forcing him to stop, her eyes staring straight into his, stern. "Vincent, you're never going to get over it if you don't try to open up a little. Relax. Have a little fun if you can." Her gaze softened. "I guess that's what I was trying to do by dragging you out here in the first place, but... there's not a whole lot I can really do. It's up to you to make the effort to heal yourself."
"So what are you saying? That I should forget?" Aeris was surprised to hear anger in his voice.
"No," she answered, her voice quiet, but firm. "I mean, I suppose it's nice that you're still loyal to her after all this time, but... Vincent, it's been thirty-five years since she died. You have to move on. I know you think that you need to punish yourself and all that, but eventually it's going to kill you." He opened his mouth, but she plowed on, not letting him speak just yet.
"Maybe not physically, and maybe you'll be all right for a while, because you're strong, but sooner or later your mind and your heart are going to break. The burden will be so heavy that even you won't be able to carry it. Do you think that's what Lucrecia wanted? Answer me."
Vincent stared at her. She was still wet from the sea water and her long hair lay heavily against her back, a few strands matted to her cheek. Sand clung to her bare feet and clogged the spaces between her toes. But despite her appearance, she stood defiant in front of him, green eyes shining brightly. Her words had almost made him feel human. Lucrecia had done that sometimes. Quite often, in fact.
She's right, isn't she? He tried to dismiss the thought, but found that he couldn't. "You don't know what you're talking about, Aeris," he said softly. Gently, he pushed her aside and started walking, but she grabbed hold of his arm. He looked back at her questioningly.
"Please, Vincent, listen to me," she said. Somehow her voice demanded his full attention. He turned slightly towards her. "You can either retreat behind your mask and wallow in guilt until you kill yourself... or you can stay here and we can help you find yourself instead."
He turned to face her, and she released her grip on his arm. For a moment, there was silence between the two. Neither seemed to notice that several of the nearby tourists had stopped what they were doing to stare at them. Even though most could not hear what had been said, they could tell that some sort of argument was going on between the girl and the tall stranger. They were surprised to notice that the girl seemed to be winning it, and that the man had not resorted to violence...
"Let me ask you something, Aeris," he said, and his tone was anything but friendly. "Why do you care? Why do you bother?"
She took a step forward, peering up into his face. "Because I've seen the real you, Vincent, without the mask. I want to bring that person back out to the surface again." Another silence sprung up, lasting for several long minutes.
Finally, Vincent gave her a slow nod. "Very well then... I will stay." Aeris smiled at him and turned around to lead him back towards the ocean.
One middle-aged man tapped Vincent on the shoulder and spoke to him in a low voice. "That's a lesson for you, boy, women are always right. Don't even bother protesting or arguing." Vincent blinked at him, then shook his head and turned to follow Aeris. ......boy?
Upon reaching the chairs where they had left their things, Aeris turned to him. "So do you want to come in the ocean with us? It's a far cry from Junon's waters..."
Vincent peered at her with mild suspicion. Aeris was one of those people who could get you to do just about anything if they spent long enough on you. "Do I really have a choice?"
She shook her head. "Nope."
"I didn't think so..." he muttered as he tossed his cloak onto the beach chair. Aeris smiled and waited for him to take off his shirt and boots. He laid his pistol down on top of the pile and turned to her, frowning. "Satisfied?" She nodded and led him by the arm out into the water, looking around to see where Cloud and Tifa had gotten to. Vincent spotted them first and pointed them out to her. Aeris nodded again and they made their way over to the pair who were recovering from a water war.
"Back," Aeris said.
"Sure took you long en..." Cloud said, trailing off as he caught sight of Vincent. "Woah..." He blinked, then demanded, "All right, who are you and what have you done with Vincent?"
"Cloud, don't start," Vincent said coolly. "Aeris asked me to come."
Tifa was just as shocked as Cloud and turned to Aeris. "How in the world did you do it?"
She just shrugged and grinned. "It's a secret."
"Oh, come on, Aeris," Cloud chimed in. "I wanna know, too." She just shook her head.
"Meanie," Tifa laughed, splashing her. Aeris splashed back and then Cloud joined them. After a while, they decided to gang up on Vincent, and he was forced to fight back. All three of them ended up laughing. Well... until Tifa swallowed some water and started choking instead, but that was beside the point. Once, Aeris thought she saw a slight smile cross Vincent's face. It was probably just her imagination, though... but...
The group spent the entire day at the beach, although in the afternoon they mostly stayed out of the water, just sitting around and talking. During these conversations, Vincent remained relatively silent, speaking when spoken to, but he did not go back to the villa, much to the surprise of both Tifa and Cloud. After they, three of them anyway, ate dinner at the beach(pizza), they decided they might as well be heading back.
"I call first shower!" Aeris exclaimed as she walked in through the door.
"I call second!" Tifa laughed.
Cloud sighed. "That makes me last, doesn't it?"
"Nope," Aeris answered. "Unless you want Vincent to go third...?" Vincent blinked, and glanced at her before walking past to the living room, where he stood in the corner to wait his turn, eyes downcast. Aeris shrugged and gathered her clothes before running off to the bathroom. The door closed and soon running water was heard.
Cloud shrugged to Tifa and started towards the living room when a loud knock sounded on the door. The two exchanged surprised glances, and Tifa raised her eyebrows before going to answer it. She blinked upon seeing Elena, formerly of the Turks, at the door. She looked a bit different, of course, with long hair now, but it was definitely Elena.
"Hi, guys..." the Turk said, grinning nervously.
"Uh... Hello," Tifa replied uncertainly. "If I may ask, what are you doing here?"
Elena shifted slightly, uncomfortably. "I heard that Aeris was alive. I figured she'd probably want to visit you guys."
Tifa blinked and glanced wide-eyed at Cloud, then turned back to Elena. "Yes, she's taking a shower... How did you know?"
"I heard it from the innkeeper in Bone Village. I want to talk to her for a little bit if that's all right."
"Certainly," Tifa agreed. "Come on in..." She led Elena to the living room, Cloud trailing behind, where they all sat down to wait until Aeris came out. Vincent's only sign that he noticed the Turk was to open one eye to peer at her and to raise an eyebrow before closing the eye again and leaning against the wall.
Cloud was the first to ask the obvious question. "Why do you need to speak with Aeris?"
"It's kind of personal," Elena answered guardedly.
He nodded. "I see..."
Elena frowned and glanced at the bathroom door. "So how the heck did she, um, come back to life?" Tifa opened her mouth to reply, but Elena cut her off. "Wait a second, I don't want you to tell me. I want to hear the story first-hand from Aeris."
"Right, okay," Tifa said rather confusedly. Maybe she could get some answers from Aeris as to why Elena was here. Yes, that would probably be best. She glanced towards the bathroom, finding herself to be somewhat impatient. The group waited for about ten minutes, with several failed attempts at conversation, before Aeris emerged from the bathroom.
The Cetra blinked upon sighting Elena. "Oh... hello..." she faltered, confusion showing plain on her face. The Turk must have arrived while she was in the shower, but the reason was completely out of her grasp.
"You really are alive again..." Elena breathed. "I mean... hi." She paused. "Listen, would you mind just talking for a little bit? I promise I won't take up too much of your time..."
Aeris exchanged glances with Cloud, then shrugged and nodded. "I don't see why not."
Elena turned to Tifa and Cloud. "Do you two mind stepping outside while we talk?"
They nodded and got up to leave the room, when Cloud paused and inquired, "What about Vincent?"
"He can stay," Aeris interjected before Elena could protest. Somehow she trusted him even more than Cloud... It was probably because he didn't consider anyone else his friend and was not one to gossip or even speak unless bidden. He wouldn't tell anyone what he had heard unless he was given permission, and asked afterwards.
"All right..." Elena said reluctantly. After the other two had left, closing the door behind them, she turned to cast a glare at Vincent. "You had better not tell anyone about what I say."
"I won't," he said simply, opening his eyes to meet her gaze.
Elena, however, was not convinced. "Are you sure we can trust him?" she asked of Aeris.
She nodded. "Of course. He's Vincent," she said, as if this was all the explanation required.
"The way you say it makes it sound like all Vincent's act like him," Elena laughed.
"Well, just how many Vincent's do you know?" Aeris asked, grinning a little. "It just might be true, if he's the only one."
"There was a Vincent in the Turks, a while before my time," the other woman replied.
"Elena, it's the same Vincent," Aeris said, trying not to laugh, as she gestured towards the silent figure in the corner.
The Turk's eyes widened and she turned to stare at him. "You mean you're Vincent Valentine!?" she exclaimed. "Wait a minute... you can't be. You're only, like, twenty-something, right?"
"He's older than he looks," Aeris explained. "Something to do with Hojo's experiment."
"Oh, right!" Elena said. "I remember reading about that when I was looking through his file..." She peered at Vincent, then blinked, her eyes going even wider. "God, he does look the same!"
"I don't see what is so amazing," Vincent said flatly.
"Oh, come on," the Turk stressed. "You're only the greatest Turk of all time!" Aeris thought she saw Vincent flinch at this, but he stared coolly back at Elena, raising one eyebrow as if to say, 'So what?' Elena shifted a little and muttered, "No wonder we were never able to beat you guys..."
"But anyway," Aeris cut in. "I know you didn't come all this way to pester Vincent. Why are you really here?"
Elena took a moment to calm down. "You know that Tseng died, right?"
Aeris nodded. "Sephiroth killed him."
"Well... he hung on until after Meteor, which was when we found him. He was on his death bed, and he wanted me to tell you some things..."
Aeris waited for a moment, and, when the girl said nothing, prompted her with, "Go on." She vaguely remembered Tseng wanting to tell her something, but she couldn't remember what it was. Apparently Elena had better memory... or it was something that she had kept track of for some other reason...
Elena sighed. "He said to tell you that he was sorry, that he should never have become a Turk." Here she paused to interject a comment of her own. "Personally, I don't agree with that... If he hadn't become a Turk, I would never have met him..." She colored slightly, and went on. "I don't get what he said next either. 'I'll be back with the snow.'" She shrugged.
"That is a strange thing to say," Aeris agreed, brows creasing in thought. "I wonder what it means..."
"I believe it would be figurative," Vincent stated quietly. Both women turned to look at him, questioning. He hesitated slightly before explaining. "This is just a hypothesis, but since I found Sephiroth near Snow Village, it is possible that he is the 'snow.' His personality is suitable for that title as well." Elena and Aeris exchanged glances. The Turk was utterly confused, but Aeris seemed to understand where his logic was going. "If Sephiroth intends to undo his mistakes," Vincent continued, "then it is quite possible that he will revive Tseng as well."
Elena sat bolt upright. "Sephiroth!? Revive Tseng!? Someone please explain!"
The Cetra put a hand on Elena's shoulder to try to calm her, but the Turk only jumped and stared at her in confusion. "Elena, calm down, I'll explain. Yes, Sephiroth is alive again. The Jenova cells in his body regenerated him or something. Only this time, he's perfectly sane, and had major memory loss. When Vincent told him about his past, he decided that he was going to try to undo all the chaos he had created, as best he could... So the first thing he did was revive me. Don't ask me how-but it was very powerful magic."
Elena laughed nervously. "And I was under the impression that Vincent revived you... heh heh..."
"Vincent?" Aeris queried, blinking. "Where did you get that idea? He doesn't have any innate magic, especially not healing power."
"I dunno... I just knew that he was with you, so I assumed that he was the one who brought you back to life," Elena explained.
"Oh..." After a moment, the Cetra asked, "Are you going to stay long?"
The Turk shook her head. "No, not now anyway. I'm going to find Sephiroth and see if he really is going to bring Tseng back to life..."
Aeris said nothing for a minute. "Well, we might as well come with you. I'd like to see Tseng also. And we were going to leave in the morning anyway."
"'We'?" Elena inquired.
"Vincent and I," she answered.
"...what about Cloud?" the Turk questioned. "Don't you love him?"
Aeris winced a little. "Yes... but, you see, he's married to Tifa, so there's really nothing I can do about that. So I'm leaving."
"Then what's the deal with Vincent? Why is he coming with you?"
Aeris glanced at him. "Well, he'd probably tell you that it's some sort of obligation, but I'd like to think that he's my friend. Right, Vincent?" He said nothing. She shrugged. "What can I say? He's very quiet around people he doesn't know well."
"I noticed," Elena said dryly. "I'm staying at the inn for the night, so I'll come by in the morning to meet up with you two, okay?"
"All right," Aeris agreed. "See you tomorrow, then?"
"Yeah," Elena answered as she got up and left the room.
Vincent lay on the bed in the spare bedroom, down in the basement, staring up into the blackness. It was very dark there... Aeris had insisted on him taking the bedroom, and had declined Cloud and Tifa's offer to use the extra bed in their bedroom. Instead, she was sleeping on the couch in the living room. He had protested at first, but somehow Aeris always won any argument against him. He remembered what the man at the beach had said. That's a lesson for you, boy, women are always right. Don't even bother protesting or arguing.
The word 'boy' set his thoughts adrift. The man had been perhaps around fifty or sixty... Vincent was probably older than him, and yet... he was a boy. With the exception of his outlandish clothing, Vincent probably appeared to fit in with the others, since they all looked about the same age... but mentally, he knew he would never fit in.
There was a saying that you were only as old as you feel... In that case, he should have been at least a thousand years old. Every moment was the endless berating that stretched out time, made it seem even slower than it already was. He felt much older than he was... So perhaps with a change of clothing, he might be able to pass for normal, appearance wise, but he would always feel uncomfortable. Everyone would call him 'young man' or 'son' or 'boy' and never know how wrong they were.
If he lived in the same place, then eventually, perhaps someone would notice that he never got any older. And of course there would be rumors, and then the questions. He hated having to answer questions, especially stupid ones. He preferred to remain silent and let life play out around him. He had gotten used to being an observer. In his nightmares, he just stood on the sidelines and watched everything play out exactly the same as it had before.
At first he had tried to change things, but he realized that it was only a nightmare and it could not effect real life. It was torture to endure that every time he closed his eyes, but it was his fate. He had failed Lucrecia, and now he was meant to suffer for as long as his mind would hold out. He wondered if Aeris was right. Would his mind shatter after being accused and battered for long enough? Perhaps...
The sound of rapid and uneven footsteps down the steps attracted his attention. He turned his head slightly and saw the shadowy figure of Aeris stumble to a halt a few feet into the room. She paused to catch her breath, then looked around the room fearfully. "Vincent?" she called shakily.
"Yes?" he answered. "Is there something wrong?"
She walked slowly up to the side of his bed as he sat up. "I... I'm afraid. I know it sounds silly, but I keep imagining things in the darkness..." She smiled sheepishly, her eyes darting behind her. "It must seem very childish to you, for a grown woman to be afraid of the dark..."
He shook his head. "No, not at all." Aeris looked surprised. "After having died in such a manor, of course you would be frightened of what you cannot see. Sephiroth stabbed you near to midnight, which probably contributes to the mentality."
She nodded slowly. "Right... I keep thinking... no, I don't want to even talk about it now. But I feel more comfortable with someone else in the room. At the inn, you were always there against the wall, so I knew I was safe. I knew you'd protect me... I'm sorry, I'm rambling..."
Vincent stared at her thoughtfully for a moment. She was wearing a pale green cotton nightgown that hung just past her knees. Her hair tumbled in curls and waves over her shoulders and down her back, and her green eyes shown brightly in the darkness. She looked quite beautiful, actually... He shook his head minutely, then climbed out of the bed. "Here, you go to sleep and I'll just stand nearby. Whatever makes you feel better."
Aeris blinked at the kind gesture. "No, no. Where are you going to sleep then?"
"I won't. And I will be fine," he assured her.
"We've been over this before. You haven't slept in days," she argued. "And even you need sleep once in a while." She pointed to the bed. "You sleep there."
"Then where are you going to sleep?" he inquired, echoing her words.
"On the floor," she replied.
"That won't do," Vincent stated, starting to walk around the bed to meet her.
"You are sleeping on the bed and I-" She stopped abruptly with a muffled yelp as Vincent picked her up off the floor and set her down on the bed.
"This is one argument you are not going to win," he told her as he settled the blankets atop her. "You need to get a good night's sleep."
Aeris hmphed, then nodded. "All right... but you're sleeping on the bed, too," she added, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards her.
With nothing to hold onto, he stumbled and sat down hard on the edge of the bed. He blinked at her. "What are you doing?"
"That didn't exactly come out right... but you know what I mean." She sat up so she could be closer to looking him in the eye, face to face. "You need to sleep, too." Vincent stared at her for a moment, then sighed and lay back on the bed, rolling onto his side so that his back was to her. Soon enough, he heard the soft, slow sounds of breathing that meant Aeris was asleep. He glanced at her over his shoulder. She looked so peaceful now... no, don't compare her to Lucrecia again. It will only hurt the both of you in the long run.
Closing his eyes, he drifted off to a sleep filled with memories of Lucrecia, ending with her second death in his arms. It always ended with her death, every single time. The pieces of memory before that, they varied to some degree, but she always died at the end, whether it be the first time, him seeing her there, so weak, on the verge of death and then turning to try and get help, or the second time when her life actually left her when she was with him, in his arms...
Vincent awoke to the sound of worried voices from upstairs on the first floor. "Where's Aeris?" Cloud was asking.
"I don't know," Tifa replied. "I haven't seen her anywhere..."
"Did you check the basement?"
"Not yet... but why would she be down there?"
"I dunno... Maybe she went down to talk to Vincent..."
He heard footsteps starting towards the stairs, and he started to sit up when he noticed something resting on his shoulder. Turning his head, he noticed that it was Aeris's head. She was still asleep and probably had no idea she was in such a position. Vincent himself had rolled onto his back during the night... The footsteps stopped and he turned to see both Tifa and Cloud staring at him incredulously.
Gently, Vincent moved Aeris's head so that it rested comfortably on the pillow, then sat up, raising an eyebrow in inquiry at the other two.
"Did she spend all night down here?" Tifa asked slowly. Vincent nodded.
"And you two slept in the same bed?" Cloud added, a disapproving frown forming on his face.
"She insisted on it..." This statement caused them to exchange worried looks. "It is not what it seems like," Vincent continued to dispel their concern. "Because of how she died, she has become frightened by what she cannot see. Therefore, she is frightened by the darkness if she is alone. She came down here and originally was going to sleep on the floor, but I convinced her to take the bed. Unfortunately, she also insisted that I sleep as well... You know how persistent Aeris can be."
Cloud nodded in agreement, several other questions flashing across his face. He asked none of them. "I understand... You're both leaving this morning, right?" Vincent nodded. "Right, okay..."
Beside him, Aeris stirred and he looked at her as she opened her eyes and met his gaze. "...good morning," she greeted hesitantly. He nodded, then stood up, picking up his shirt from where it lay folded neatly on the nightstand. Cloud and Tifa filed out, and Aeris followed after a moment, almost reluctantly.
He buttoned the shirt, tugged on his boots, then settled his cloak about his shoulders. He did not care what people thought of his dark appearance. It suit him perfectly, and tended to keep all but the bravest and boldest from bothering him. He headed up the stairs to find Elena waiting in the living room. She glanced up at him. "G'morning," she said uncertainly.
He made no sign to acknowledge the greeting, but merely stood nearby, waiting for Aeris. The Cetra emerged several minutes later in the black skirt and green top she had been wearing the day before. She had a bag slung over one shoulder, but it appeared to be nearly empty. "Right, thank you," she was saying over her shoulder to Tifa. She smiled at Vincent and Elena. "Well? Are we ready to go?"
"Yep," Elena answered, hopping up. "So where do you think we should go to find him?"
"Well, since Katrina is with him and she wanted to go to Cosmo Canyon, then that's probably where they went..." Aeris reasoned. "And if Sephiroth left already, then hopefully someone there can tell us which direction he went."
"Right," Elena agreed. "I talked with the dock master yesterday. I think there's a ship bound for the Cosmo area that's leaving this morning. Lucky us, huh?"
"Yeah..." Aeris concurred. "Well, let's go." Elena nodded and led the way out to the docks where they bought passage on the ship that was headed for the Cosmo area. They managed to catch it only five minutes before it left Costa del Sol. After they could no longer see land, Elena had retreated below deck, claiming that her stomach didn't agree with all the rocking and everything.
That left Aeris alone with Vincent again, and of course, there was no conversation between them. She didn't mind, though. It was actually very pleasant to lean against the rail and feel the sea breeze in her face and watch the waves break on the bow of the ship. After several hours, though, she felt like breaking the silence. "Vincent, I've been wondering," she began. "Did you ever find out anything more about the Cetra on the journey to defeat Sephiroth?"
Vincent turned to look at her, then nodded slightly. "Yes, actually. In Snow Village there were several research videos made by Professor Gast on the Cetra. I believe his interviewee was Ifalna. She was your mother, correct?"
"Yes, that's right," Aeris answered confusedly. "How did you know? I don't think I've ever told you..."
"No, you haven't," he told her. "But she looked very similar to you... and in the later two videos, it is mentioned that Professor Gast and Ifalna had a daughter. They decided to name her Aeris."
Aeris gave a start, then turned completely to stare at him in surprise. "You mean Professor Gast was my father!?"
"Apparently so," Vincent stated dryly. "You never knew before?"
"No..." she answered, frowning in thought. "Go on," she urged. "What else was in the video tapes?"
"...Ifalna spoke of the history of the Cetra, the arrival of Jenova, and the origin of the Weapons. Do you want me to go into detail?" he inquired. He had no wish to recount all of the information, but he would if she asked him to.
"No, not now," Aeris said at length. "I know you don't like talking too much... but could you write it down for me sometime so I can have it on paper?"
"Of course," Vincent replied.
"Thanks," she said with a smile before turning her attention back to the water. "...it's beautiful, isn't it?"
"Hmm?"
"The ocean..."
"...yes, it is."
She glanced at him. "Does it remind you of anything...?"
"Not particularly," he answered. After a short pause, he asked, "What about you?"
Aeris smiled, glad to see he was making some effort at conversation. She turned to look out across the wide expanse of sea. "...it reminds me of Cloud. His eyes are the exact same color, that deep blue... And he really loves the ocean. I can tell. It's no wonder he decided to live in Costa del Sol..." Vincent nodded in agreement. "Now if I was going to settle down," she continued, "I'd have to live closer inland... like Kalm. That way I could have a nice big garden and not have to worry about sand or drought." She turned back to Vincent. "Where would you live?"
He shrugged dispassionately. "It doesn't matter."
"Oh, come on," Aeris prodded. "There must be some place you prefer over others..."
He thought for a moment. "...I suppose I like Nibelheim."
"Why?" came the question he knew would follow.
Sighing, Vincent answered, "It was quiet there, and people kept to themselves. The mountains were strangely beautiful, but you could always see the stars, better than anywhere else... And it always snowed heavily in the winter..."
"You like snow?" she queried.
He nodded. "I suppose because of Lucrecia... she loved snow..."
"It reminds you of her..." Aeris stated quietly. He did not bother to voice his agreement. Aeris, thankfully, fell silent, not speaking for the rest of the trip. However, Vincent found himself wondering if he was truly glad she was being so quiet. Was it possible he actually enjoyed listening to her speak? It was something he would have to sort out.