*Gascogne's thoughts *
~*Barnette's thoughts *~
Chapter 1
Her hand wiped the smooth, grey surface. The tree leaves thus disposed fluttered away, discarded by her knowing hand. She frowned as she read the inscription, as if to assure her that this was where she belonged. She looked to the sky, and saw that its source of light had just begun to meet the horizon. Gently, she placed a box next to the memorial. She opened her mouth as if to speak, and the ever-present metal clip in it wavered. But she continued to crouch there, watching...waiting. She spoke into the wind...the silent wind that gave no reply. She reached out again to touch the box's purple surface, and withdrew hesitantly when she discovered that a different hand-not her own-had placed a bouquet of flowers on the grass beside her. This was a hand she recognized. She looked up, and when she saw the face, her mouth dropped open, and the clip departed, giving a brief twinkle before it reached the ground. Hastily, she picked up the box and tucked it under her arm, ready to run, though her legs refused to carry her fast.
"Wait," came the terse reply to her action.
Without a word she stopped, but did not turn.
Grey eyes seemed to burn into her back, but when no other utterance was heard, she continued her slow walk. Her heart told her to run, but her mind told her to show composure.
*She will never know... *
Barnet stayed where she was, dejected, her arm and hand stretched out as if to hold onto something she knew she could never have. She fought with herself; the internal bleeding felt real as she watched that one thing that was simply irreplaceable walk away from her.
~*~
It had rained the night before, and Barnet sat apathetically watching as drops of rain left their places and dripped to the ground. She stood there, feeling as a shadow does in a void of vivid colors. She had watched the woman leave without a whisper, and had done nothing to stop her. She felt a drop of cold rain sliding down her back, and she closed her eyes. Her heavily beating heart told her nothing, and she opened her eyes and continued on. But before she left, she threw one last glance at the memorial, one last glance at what Gascogne kept near her heart.
~*~
Gascogne felt cold all of a sudden, but the box she clutched close under her arm was a small spot of warmth. It gave her comfort to know that she still had it. She started to run, and in one instant, she realized that she had lost the key to the box-the metal clip that she always kept. But it was too late, she knew, to go back for it. She was too afraid to go back...a mere apparition in the mist and dew had sent her running, and she never looked back.
~*~
She watched people as they slowly passed her by. She found it strange that they would ever walk out in the rain, but she guessed that they somehow found it refreshing. Nevertheless, she would always remember rainy days as dreary and dark...after all, she had no one to walk with, no one who even remotely cared. She did once, but it didn't seem real...or meant to be. ~*Jura... *~ Nirvana was finally able to land on Mejale and regain their homeland-but to Barnet, it felt as though she had lost everything. Days after they landed, Jura had begun to experience massive headaches...nothing was thought of them until she suddenly collapsed and died. It was later found that her head injuries during battle had caused hemorrhaging that had somehow gone unnoticed. Even after several months, Barnet still couldn't believe that she was gone. She remembered her only as a woman full of energy and mischief. Sometimes, she would glimpse the loving, sweet side of Jura in her dreams, but they were only dreams. She would wake up with the image of Jura in her coma...the machine beeping needlessly into the dark.
Barnet could not think or talk or eat after the beeping finally died off...instead, she found herself staring out into nothing-the dark eyes of hell beckoning to her, perhaps-but a voice inside her head kept saying to her: "Smile, smile!"
~*~
End Part I
The metal clip was strangely forgotten. Gascogne focused her mind on other things instead. She wondered why she had seen Barnet there, at the memorial, and why she had decided to bring flowers for her sister. Gascogne had never told anyone about how her sister had died. She had walked away from that argument, determined not to lose her temper...
"You could never know what it would feel like to lost someone!"
It had reverberated in her mind so clearly, that it was the only thing she focused on...she had to leave the room for fear of having to run later, away from the tears that she could never show. She shifted uncomfortable from where she sat, and stood up fitfully, crossing her arms in front of her and walking towards a window. She watched the rain patter quietly.
*The rains have just begun...there will be no stopping until spring comes... * She the left the room, leaving the purple jewelry box behind her.
~*~
End Part II
Gascogne lied awake in her bed the next morning. She had heard of Jura's passing, and wondered how Barnet was feeling. * She and I are the same...we both have lost someone dear to us*. A few minutes later, she got up and walked to the washroom. She looked at herself in the mirror as the water dripped from her face. She saw herself, but this was a different Gascogne. Her face did not shine with encouragement, and her lips no longer curved into a smile. * I was hiding behind that smile...hiding, so that no one would see the pain*. She walked to the small living room. The shades threw a strange light upon the table as the sunshine filtered through. She sat dismally in a chair, once again unsure of what to do...like she had been since Nirvana was no longer in space. Soon, maybe, Nirvana may be scheduled once again to pirate in open space, but everyone had already settled down. Rebeka and Ezra were taking care of their child. Magno-head pirate had settled into the countryside from where she was born. Meia and Misty had also settled down, and they became parents together. All the others in the staff had gone their separate ways, which left Barnet and herself, alone. An ache welled in her heart, but her eyes did not respond. She could not cry.
~*~
~*I am alone. I am here, but my soul is still on Nirvana. Still with Jura...I look around, and there is no one. Not a single person can feel what I feel. I remember the rain...the people walking through the light mist...laughing, talking, holding hands...I have no hand to hold, no arms to enfold myself. I am cold and alone. I...I don't want this anymore...*~
There were both surrounded by grey. Far way, lighting touched the ground, and went on its way to find another spot to claim as its own. Barnet knelt before Jura's memorial:
[One so full of life
Takes flight
Watch over us, you,
Who soar over the
Clouds, you who
Soar over
Us]
"Watch over me, Jura." Her tears mixed with the drizzling rain. She placed flowers under the inscription, and stood. Next to her, another hand, not her own, laid flowers next to hers. Barnet heard the scrape of Gascogne's boots before she stood full-length and looked into her forest-green eyes. They were deep and full of...emotion. Barnet was not sure. Gascogne's arms were not crossed; they were at her sides, limp. She too, stood up to full length, her strong shoulders moving back, exposing her whole front to the rain.
"I'm sorry," she whispered hoarsely, "about your loss." She glanced at the memorial. "It was our loss...all of ours." She choked. Barnet could not speak, surprised as she was at Gascogne's emotional words. She folded her arms to shield herself from the cold, looking away.
"I'm so alone..."
Gascogne could see that her eyes were red from her tears. She took one step towards her, and Barnet came into those open arms. Gascogne could feel her trembling from the cold, and tightened her arms around her.
"We are both alone..."
They stood there-Barnet in Gascogne's arms-for a while longer. Suddenly, not near, but getting closer, an instant of lightning struck. Almost immediately, rain begin falling anew, covering the ground and pelting the flowers left on the grave.
Gascogne let go of Barnet, but grasped her hand...and began to run, tugging her. Another flash of lightning and its accompanying clap of thunder sounded, and Barnet began to run in earnest.
"Where are we going?" yelled Barnet, over the roar of the rain.
"Anywhere!" yelled back Gascogne, looking behind her briefly and smiling at Barnet, "anywhere!"
Barnet smiled back.
~*As long as I am alone no longer*~.
*~*~*
THE END
~*Barnette's thoughts *~
Chapter 1
Her hand wiped the smooth, grey surface. The tree leaves thus disposed fluttered away, discarded by her knowing hand. She frowned as she read the inscription, as if to assure her that this was where she belonged. She looked to the sky, and saw that its source of light had just begun to meet the horizon. Gently, she placed a box next to the memorial. She opened her mouth as if to speak, and the ever-present metal clip in it wavered. But she continued to crouch there, watching...waiting. She spoke into the wind...the silent wind that gave no reply. She reached out again to touch the box's purple surface, and withdrew hesitantly when she discovered that a different hand-not her own-had placed a bouquet of flowers on the grass beside her. This was a hand she recognized. She looked up, and when she saw the face, her mouth dropped open, and the clip departed, giving a brief twinkle before it reached the ground. Hastily, she picked up the box and tucked it under her arm, ready to run, though her legs refused to carry her fast.
"Wait," came the terse reply to her action.
Without a word she stopped, but did not turn.
Grey eyes seemed to burn into her back, but when no other utterance was heard, she continued her slow walk. Her heart told her to run, but her mind told her to show composure.
*She will never know... *
Barnet stayed where she was, dejected, her arm and hand stretched out as if to hold onto something she knew she could never have. She fought with herself; the internal bleeding felt real as she watched that one thing that was simply irreplaceable walk away from her.
~*~
It had rained the night before, and Barnet sat apathetically watching as drops of rain left their places and dripped to the ground. She stood there, feeling as a shadow does in a void of vivid colors. She had watched the woman leave without a whisper, and had done nothing to stop her. She felt a drop of cold rain sliding down her back, and she closed her eyes. Her heavily beating heart told her nothing, and she opened her eyes and continued on. But before she left, she threw one last glance at the memorial, one last glance at what Gascogne kept near her heart.
~*~
Gascogne felt cold all of a sudden, but the box she clutched close under her arm was a small spot of warmth. It gave her comfort to know that she still had it. She started to run, and in one instant, she realized that she had lost the key to the box-the metal clip that she always kept. But it was too late, she knew, to go back for it. She was too afraid to go back...a mere apparition in the mist and dew had sent her running, and she never looked back.
~*~
She watched people as they slowly passed her by. She found it strange that they would ever walk out in the rain, but she guessed that they somehow found it refreshing. Nevertheless, she would always remember rainy days as dreary and dark...after all, she had no one to walk with, no one who even remotely cared. She did once, but it didn't seem real...or meant to be. ~*Jura... *~ Nirvana was finally able to land on Mejale and regain their homeland-but to Barnet, it felt as though she had lost everything. Days after they landed, Jura had begun to experience massive headaches...nothing was thought of them until she suddenly collapsed and died. It was later found that her head injuries during battle had caused hemorrhaging that had somehow gone unnoticed. Even after several months, Barnet still couldn't believe that she was gone. She remembered her only as a woman full of energy and mischief. Sometimes, she would glimpse the loving, sweet side of Jura in her dreams, but they were only dreams. She would wake up with the image of Jura in her coma...the machine beeping needlessly into the dark.
Barnet could not think or talk or eat after the beeping finally died off...instead, she found herself staring out into nothing-the dark eyes of hell beckoning to her, perhaps-but a voice inside her head kept saying to her: "Smile, smile!"
~*~
End Part I
The metal clip was strangely forgotten. Gascogne focused her mind on other things instead. She wondered why she had seen Barnet there, at the memorial, and why she had decided to bring flowers for her sister. Gascogne had never told anyone about how her sister had died. She had walked away from that argument, determined not to lose her temper...
"You could never know what it would feel like to lost someone!"
It had reverberated in her mind so clearly, that it was the only thing she focused on...she had to leave the room for fear of having to run later, away from the tears that she could never show. She shifted uncomfortable from where she sat, and stood up fitfully, crossing her arms in front of her and walking towards a window. She watched the rain patter quietly.
*The rains have just begun...there will be no stopping until spring comes... * She the left the room, leaving the purple jewelry box behind her.
~*~
End Part II
Gascogne lied awake in her bed the next morning. She had heard of Jura's passing, and wondered how Barnet was feeling. * She and I are the same...we both have lost someone dear to us*. A few minutes later, she got up and walked to the washroom. She looked at herself in the mirror as the water dripped from her face. She saw herself, but this was a different Gascogne. Her face did not shine with encouragement, and her lips no longer curved into a smile. * I was hiding behind that smile...hiding, so that no one would see the pain*. She walked to the small living room. The shades threw a strange light upon the table as the sunshine filtered through. She sat dismally in a chair, once again unsure of what to do...like she had been since Nirvana was no longer in space. Soon, maybe, Nirvana may be scheduled once again to pirate in open space, but everyone had already settled down. Rebeka and Ezra were taking care of their child. Magno-head pirate had settled into the countryside from where she was born. Meia and Misty had also settled down, and they became parents together. All the others in the staff had gone their separate ways, which left Barnet and herself, alone. An ache welled in her heart, but her eyes did not respond. She could not cry.
~*~
~*I am alone. I am here, but my soul is still on Nirvana. Still with Jura...I look around, and there is no one. Not a single person can feel what I feel. I remember the rain...the people walking through the light mist...laughing, talking, holding hands...I have no hand to hold, no arms to enfold myself. I am cold and alone. I...I don't want this anymore...*~
There were both surrounded by grey. Far way, lighting touched the ground, and went on its way to find another spot to claim as its own. Barnet knelt before Jura's memorial:
[One so full of life
Takes flight
Watch over us, you,
Who soar over the
Clouds, you who
Soar over
Us]
"Watch over me, Jura." Her tears mixed with the drizzling rain. She placed flowers under the inscription, and stood. Next to her, another hand, not her own, laid flowers next to hers. Barnet heard the scrape of Gascogne's boots before she stood full-length and looked into her forest-green eyes. They were deep and full of...emotion. Barnet was not sure. Gascogne's arms were not crossed; they were at her sides, limp. She too, stood up to full length, her strong shoulders moving back, exposing her whole front to the rain.
"I'm sorry," she whispered hoarsely, "about your loss." She glanced at the memorial. "It was our loss...all of ours." She choked. Barnet could not speak, surprised as she was at Gascogne's emotional words. She folded her arms to shield herself from the cold, looking away.
"I'm so alone..."
Gascogne could see that her eyes were red from her tears. She took one step towards her, and Barnet came into those open arms. Gascogne could feel her trembling from the cold, and tightened her arms around her.
"We are both alone..."
They stood there-Barnet in Gascogne's arms-for a while longer. Suddenly, not near, but getting closer, an instant of lightning struck. Almost immediately, rain begin falling anew, covering the ground and pelting the flowers left on the grave.
Gascogne let go of Barnet, but grasped her hand...and began to run, tugging her. Another flash of lightning and its accompanying clap of thunder sounded, and Barnet began to run in earnest.
"Where are we going?" yelled Barnet, over the roar of the rain.
"Anywhere!" yelled back Gascogne, looking behind her briefly and smiling at Barnet, "anywhere!"
Barnet smiled back.
~*As long as I am alone no longer*~.
*~*~*
THE END