Katrina stared with eyes wide as she watched Sephiroth disappear beyond the gate. It was some time before she gained enough control over her trembling body to make her slow way over to the fallen gatekeeper. She stood beside the body, staring now at the blood and the severed head that lay some feet away. Her stomach turned and she shut her eyes tightly.
How could Sephiroth do such a thing? The man hadn't even had time to scream... No warning, no chance for goodbyes, not even a moment of happiness with which to complete his life. Simply death, swift and merciless. But hadn't that been how Sephiroth had always killed? Quick and efficient?
No. He couldn't kill so easily. This death had been deliberate, not spontaneous as it had seemed. But... why? She couldn't understand it, but he had to have some reason. He had to!
Shaking herself, Katrina turned away and opened her eyes. She had to find Aeris; she would understand it. Where was Aeris? Hadn't she been staying up near the observatory? The girl took a deep breath and ran off up the steps and into the Canyon's tunnel. She had to hurry; villagers were already gathering, and if the wrong people found out...
"Hey! Where're you going in such a hurry?"
She slowed to a halt and looked back. "Y-yuffie," she said breathlessly.
The ninja hopped up a few steps to join her. "What's up?"
"It's Sephiroth, he..." she faltered. "The gatekeeper... he killed him."
Yuffie's eyes widened. "He killed him? What for?"
Katrina shook her head. "I don't know. I was going to find Aeris to..."
"Right," she interrupted. She turned aside. "Red, go find out where Cloud is and make sure he doesn't jump to any conclusions."
The guardian nodded silently and bounded off.
Yuffie turned back to the girl. "Can you go down to the gate and try to keep the crowd calm?"
Katrina nodded dumbly.
"Tell them Sephiroth did it if you have to, but tell them not to panic. He's gone, and we're trying to figure out why he did that."
She nodded again. "I-I will."
"I'm going to go find Aeris and see if she knows what's going on." Yuffie turned and ran off.
The girl stared after her, marveling at her grasp of the situation, then shook herself. If she was going to calm down the villagers, she couldn't be so dazed herself. She closed her eyes a moment and gathered her wits, then hurried outside again.
"Oh Gods..." a woman was crying as she joined the group, leaning against another villager.
"What happened?" asked someone who managed to appear a bit more collected.
"I don't know," replied a man who knelt by the corpse. "But, Gods... Ira didn't deserve this..."
"Was it Sephiroth?" someone queried.
"Who else could have done this? Clean off..."
"I knew we shouldn't have let him into town. I knew it all along!"
"Someone should go tell Nanaki..."
"I think he already knows. I saw him run by a minute ago."
"Where was he going?"
"Wanted to know where that blond guy was. Cloud, is it?"
"I hope they go after the son of a bitch."
"Right. It's about time somebody..."
"...but what about..."
"After this? There's no way he's going to..."
Katrina stepped up to the group and faltered there a moment, not knowing what to say.
Anne turned to her. "Do you know what's going on, Katrina? No one seems to have seen it..."
"I saw it," she stated.
The crowd quieted down and everyone turned to look at her. "...what happened?" someone finally asked.
"Please don't panic, anyone," the girl went on, trying her best to keep her voice even and steady. "Yes, it was Sephiroth, but until we find out why he did it, we shouldn't jump to conclusions..."
"But what reason could he have? If he wanted to leave, he could have just gone. He didn't have to hurt anyone, much less kill them!"
"Please," Katrina went on, "there must have been some reason for it. I know him; he can't kill so easily, and he wouldn't do it carelessly. Yuffie's looking for Aeris right now. She'll probably understand it."
"Having a reason doesn't change the fact that he killed Ira!"
"You were willing to accept him before, when he'd already killed hundreds and never provided you with any reason, never offered any excuses, never asked for your forgiveness, but you won't forgive him for one death, even if it turns out he has a perfectly logical excuse!?" she cried. "What kind of people are you!?"
The group stared at her mutely.
"What's happened here?" Elder Hargo asked, walking up.
"Sephiroth... Sephiroth killed him..." Anne said weakly.
The Elder frowned gravely. "I see..."
Miera trotted up at his heels, moving through the crowd to get a look at the body. She turned from it with a grimace and sat back, looking up at the gathered villagers. "Does anyone know why?"
"That's what Yuffie's trying to find out," Katrina explained.
The creature nodded. "Clear out, everyone," she said after a moment. "There is no point in standing around here and being useless. Tell your friends and family if you must, but do not panic until we know what is going on. We have no need of nasty rumors."
The crowd murmured, some in worry, some in anger, others merely in shock, but they dispersed.
Katrina sighed heavily. "Thank you, Miera," she said. "The things they were saying..."
Miera bumped her head against the girl's leg. "They are shocked and horrified at seeing one of their friends dead. It is natural for them to be angry."
"I know, I know, but... Even I can't imagine how Sephiroth could do this, and I saw it happen! I... How can they be so quick to..."
Elder Hargo laid a hand on her shoulder. "He is your friend, child. Of course you feel more doubtful of it. But many of them do not know him, and despite what Nanaki says, they still harbor an old fear of him. They can easily believe he has become a murderer again."
"He has become a murderer again," Katrina said bitterly. "But he's not insane. He can't be insane..."
"I am sure Aeris, or perhaps that Minerva girl, can understand what has happened," Miera told her firmly.
The girl nodded and promptly sat down on the ground, doing her best not to cry.
Yuffie stumbled over her own feet and had to stop for a moment to collect herself again. Sephiroth had killed again? He had simply walked up and slaughtered a man without reason? She couldn't understand it at all. He had been getting along so well...
But he hadn't lost his mind. Of this she was certain. He had too much compassion, too many people to support him, no reason to snap. There had been such incredible sorrow in his eyes when she had spoken to him. A weight that seemed to press down upon him even when he stood erect, as though a heavy decision was laid on his shoulders.
And perhaps it had been. There had to be some logical reason for this. Aeris would know. She had to find Aeris to give the Cetra time enough to compose herself and understand it so that she could explain it to Cloud before he acted on his fear and anger and suspicion. She had to explain it to everyone before they once again labeled the swordsman 'evil.'
Yuffie straightened and went on. She found Aeris sitting against a wall just inside an archway leading out. Her knees were drawn up against her, her arms wrapped tightly about them, and her face hidden behind them.
The ninja slowed as she approached the Cetra. "...Aeris?" she queried uncertainly.
She looked up. Her eyes were red from crying, but there were no tears on her face now, only a questioning vagueness, as though she thought she might be having a nightmare and wondered if she could wake up now.
"Aeris, it's Sephiroth..." Yuffie began falteringly.
"What did he do?" Aeris asked, voice sounding distant.
"He... killed the gatekeeper on his way out."
The Cetra stared at her, then nodded slowly. "So that's what..." She took a deep breath, than got to her feet. She seemed years older. "He said I would hate him for it..."
"Did he give you any hint as to why he'd go and kill someone?" Yuffie asked.
"He's gone to fight Jenova alone, that much I know. He said Minerva would understand... Do you know where she is?"
She shook her head. "No... but I can go look for her."
"I'll go with you." She paused. "Does Cloud know?"
"I'm not sure, but I sent Red to make sure he doesn't do anything rash."
"Let's hurry then," Aeris said, and her face was expressionless. Yuffie had never seen her that way before.
She nodded and headed for the ladder leading farther up. The Cetra followed behind her. They reached the top of the canyon to find Minerva sitting on the ledge. The girl glanced back at them, then stood and strode to join them.
"Sephiroth killed a man..." Yuffie said falteringly.
Minerva nodded in simple acknowledgment. "I saw."
"Please, can you tell us why?" Aeris asked, some emotion returning to her face.
"He needed to do something to get Jenova to let him close. She's too fast. He could never have caught up with her, so he had to deceive her." She sighed. "Well, let me see the body and I will see what I can do."
"You mean he..." Yuffie began incredulously.
"...he pretended to join her so that she would let him close enough for him to kill her," Aeris finished. "And that's why he had to go alone."
The silver-haired girl only nodded and brushed past the two to head down the ladder. The ninja started and followed after her. The Cetra went last.
He waited, looking around the desolate place. The wind was cold and sharp, whipping at his hair and slicing past his clothing and skin to his bones. He did not care. It reminded him of when he had awoken amidst a snowstorm with the cold and the ice battering at him, reminded him of how lost he had been, not knowing who he was.
Sephiroth knew now exactly who he was. And so he waited.
Ah, my son, it is good to see you again. She still spoke in his mind. If she had a voice, he had never heard it.
The swordsman turned around. "Hello, Jenova," he replied coolly.
Her pink eyes bore into him accusingly. So you've come to kill me afterall?
He scoffed. "You think I'd really join you?"
A sigh. I knew it was too good to be true. But you put on such a wonderful act. I couldn't even sense any thoughts that might give it away. And that killing of a gatekeeper...
Sephiroth frowned. He remembered how the gatekeeper had gone to ask Nanaki's advice upon his arrival rather than simply refusing him entry. He should have turned me away. "Why were you so willing to let me come, if you knew it to be an act?"
Oh, all I ever wanted, if I was to die, was to face you alone. And I knew that with enough mockery, enough reminding you of how impossible it would be to find me, you would eventually forsake the help of the others and figure something out on your own. I never thought it would be something so pleasing as that marvelous display you put on!
"You deceived me again..."
What, you wanted me to just say, 'You don't have to do anything to come fight me; just come alone and I'll let you'? I wasn't about to do that, especially when you came up with that pleasing solution.
"And you say you want me to be happy," he muttered.
I know, I know, I'm being selfish. But then, everyone always wants you to do something. The battles have always been fought over you, if you've noticed. You're the most powerful being on this planet, so of course everyone has wanted you for their own gains.
"Not everyone has... Professor Gast didn't, Mother didn't, Aeris never even thought about it..."
Oh, certainly they wanted you for something, be it friendship or proof of accomplishment. Perhaps not as much as Professor Hojo wanted you, to bring him prestige and even godhood--surely if he could create someone powerful enough to be a god, he was one himself. Shinra wanted you to help them control the world. Countless women wanted to share your bed, and numerous men wished they could be you. I wanted you to exact my revenge, but at least I befriended you as well.
Sephiroth scoffed. "Some friend..."
Jenova ignored him and went on. Now, Professor Gast wanted to study you, but I suppose you would call him a good man and so he abandoned the project. Too bad he didn't try to save you, hmm?
"Hojo would have killed him had he tried."
I suppose. And about that Lucrecia woman, you do realize she only wanted you so she could be a mother to you, don't you?
"Isn't that why all mothers bring children into the world? Of course, you could never understand that, could you?"
And you can?
"I have a mother who loves me," he answered. "I think that is as much as I need to understand it."
Hmph. And yet you've left Minerva to fend for herself.
"She has Reno, and like as not he can be a better friend to her than I ever could. Besides, it will be better for her if she does not have you talking in her head all the time."
You don't realize how much of a difference you make to her, do you? She turns to you when she needs help, not anyone else. Just another person who wants you, I suppose, Jenova added lightly.
"And what would you say of Aeris?" Sephiroth inquired, raising an eyebrow as though daring her to say one cruel word about her.
She just wanted someone to love her. You think that Cloud creature could really care about her? Of course not. But she always knew that you had the capacity for it, so she stayed near you, seeking your friendship. And now look, she says she wishes you hadn't fallen in love with her? She just wants to be free of guilt for making it happen and not having the grace to love you back.
"I don't care about that," he said. "So long as I have her friendship."
But you do care. You cried when you found out she didn't love you, remember? And yet you feel you have to give me up for her. Hmph. But I suppose she is the perfect, selfless one, and I'm just the evil alien. Ah, but I am selfish, and I'm not about to let you go without a fight.
"You intend to keep me by killing me?"
I think of it more as taking you down with me.
"You are selfish," he muttered. "And you're no friend of mine."
'If you really were my friend, you'd let me go back to Aeris,' she mocked. Sorry, but jealousy is such a strong emotion. I'm not about to hand you over to the little bitch and then roll over and die. Go ahead and think me weak for it. I don't care!
"Enough," he said, the cold look returning to his eyes. "We came here to fight, not to talk. I am sick of your voice in my head."
Then silence me, she said, that knowing half-smile on her face.
"I shall," he declared, the Masamune appearing in his hand as he charged for her.
When they stepped outside, Aeris immediately spotted the gathering near the gate. Katrina was sitting on the ground with Miera curled at her side. Elder Hargo and Elder Margo were both there, and Lucrecia stood leaning against Vincent. The three strode to join them.
Aeris knelt down beside the body, biting her lip and shaking her head. "Oh, Sephiroth..." she murmured.
Minerva crouched down beside her, taking the man's head and placing it back at the neck. She frowned minutely. "I... do not know how to heal something like this," she admitted reluctantly.
"Then let me do it," the Cetra said.
The girl caught her hand. "No, just show me how. Save your energy; you may need it."
Aeris stared at her, then nodded. She laid a hand against the man's face and closed her eyes, delving into the Lifestream with her consciousness. She wondered if Minerva could follow. After a moment, she withdrew and glanced at the girl.
"...I will do what I can," she said.
The Cetra got to her feet and turned to Lucrecia. "Could I... talk to you for a second?"
Sephiroth's mother smiled gently at her. "Of course, dear."
The two went half-way up the stairs and sat down. Aeris fidgeted. "There's something that's been bothering me since we got back..." she began uncertainly.
"Go on," Lucrecia said encouragingly.
"Well... I know it's something that Sephiroth said to me, but I can't quite remember what it was..."
"You can remember when, can't you?"
She nodded. "It was the night after we fought Hojo."
"What were you talking about?"
Aeris closed her eyes. She remembered him leaning over the railing with his head down and his silver hair falling forward to hide his face. "I was... trying to show him how wonderful he was, and then he... I said I couldn't be happy if someone near me was hurting, and he asked if I felt it, and..."
"What did he mean exactly?"
She hesitated, then nodded suddenly, remembering. "He said he used to think I was an empath when he was little." She smiled faintly. "He looked so embarrassed, but I had nothing to disprove it, and I still don't."
Lucrecia nodded. "I think I can guess what's bothering you... If you are an empath, how do you know which emotions are yours, and which belong to someone else?"
Aeris blinked. "I... I don't know. I guess by whether or not it's logical. But I've felt things in the past that, now that I think about it, may not have been my emotions, and I've always rationalized them to myself."
"I do not wish to hurt you," the woman went on gently, "but there is something I must ask you."
The Cetra nodded. "Go on."
"Do you love my son, or are you merely feeling his love for you?"
Stricken to silence, Aeris stared at her while the minutes stretched and passed. That was it. That was the question, the worry that had plagued her mind and her heart. Finally, she spoke. "It would be cruel if I were only reflecting his feelings, but... I am not certain. I never was. And now..."
"Spend some time away from everyone," Lucrecia suggested. "Perhaps then you'll feel only your own emotions and be able to sort them out and give him an answer when he returns."
Aeris nodded slowly. "Yes, I think you're right..." She got to her feet. "I'm going up to the observatory. If anyone asks where I am, please ask them to wait for me to come back down, all right?"
Sephiroth's mother nodded. "I will."
The Cetra bowed her head in thanks, then darted up the rest of the stairs and on up to the top of the canyon. Instead of sitting down on the ledge where she could watch the scene below, she went into the observatory, all the way to the top, and sat down on the floor.
She closed her eyes and thought of Sephiroth. The first image she brought to mind was one of him smiling faintly, his eyes a crystalline blue, his head slightly tilted, and his bangs slanting across his face. Such a face... He looked so handsome, so innocent, so delicate at times that it seemed a harsh word could still harm him. But he could steel himself in an instant, rebuild all his old barriers. The eagerness would disappear from his eyes, any smile gone from his face save for one of derision.
Part of her hated that transformation, but she knew it made things easier for him. Part of her admired his ability to pull it off. Part of her felt very special indeed, if he let down all those walls for her, showed her those rare, tentative smiles.
But even when he did bare his soul, he was still strong. She wondered if he could see that he hardly needed any defenses at all. He was strong enough to bear so much without needing to withdraw from it. He could even comfort her when he himself had to be so torn inside. She wondered, too, when it was that he had come up with this plan. Had it been in his mind for all of yesterday? Had he talked with her, joked with her, held her in his arms all the while knowing he would have to do this horrible thing, and yet hardly given any sign of it?
There was no doubt he was strong now, much stronger than he had been weeks, even days ago. And, she realized, she had grown weaker, more dependent upon him. Yes, perhaps she had let down her defenses, too, but what did she have to hold herself up? She tried so hard to help others, yet what a state she was in herself! With Sephiroth nearby, she felt she could do anything, but now that he was gone... she felt empty. Was it only his confidence she had felt?
Bear up, Aeris, she told herself. It's worry that's making you weak. Yes, it had to be--that gnawing worry in her heart that dreaded... dreaded hearing that he was dead. Why could she not have faith in him? Believe that he was powerful enough to live through the encounter? Didn't he have confidence in her? But no, he went out to fight and to take her burden because he wanted her to be safe from all of it.
She would rather they face it all together. She was stronger when he was with her.
She remembered his fearful, accusing eyes in the lab.
He was stronger when she was with him, too.
Aeris wanted nothing more than to go to him now and join him in his battle. But where was he? He could be in the most predictable of places, or he could be somewhere completely obscure.
She shook her head. She could not go to him until she had an answer to give him. Did she love him or not?
For a moment, a mere instant, she abandoned her thoughts and let herself drift among her emotions. There was fear there, dread, worry, a heavy weariness, and yes, love, strong and buried deep but her own. She withdrew, bringing it tenderly to the surface with her and opening her eyes. It was real, it was her own, not some shallow reflection. She loved him, loved him for that strength and beauty and gentleness of his soul. She loved him for his intelligence, his sense of humor, his understanding.
So why hadn't she let herself see it? Why had she been so afraid of falling in love? ...the answer came easily enough. With so many people she had loved, one of them had to die. Her mother, Zack, and then finally it had been her turn. But now, she was safe, and it was Sephiroth who might not live.
Aeris climbed to her feet, tossing her hair over her shoulders and heading back down. She would try to go to him, but she had things to attend to here first. She had to convince these people who had never truly known him that they had nothing to fear from him. Somehow she had to make them understand why he had killed, not just this time, but all the times before. She took a deep breath before heading back down.
The gathering had grown bigger, and considerably louder. Cloud was down there, arguing with Vincent, with Lucrecia, with Katrina. Tifa held his arm, as if to restrain him, but seemed as though she was agreeing with him more than trying to calm him down. The two Elders, Nanaki, Yuffie, and Miera were trying to quiet the five, but having little success. Minerva still crouched beside the body, a hand laid against the broken neck. Reno was perched next to her, watching the others uneasily. Reeve stood slightly apart from the group, shaking his head, Elena was beside him, arms folded, and Rude stood silently behind them.
Aeris descended the steps slowly, a slight frown on her face.
"You expect me to trust some girl who looks exactly like him!?" Cloud was demanding, flinging a hand in Minerva's direction. She did not spare him even a glance.
"She's trying to bring him back!" Katrina argued. "You're calling her a liar because of her looks!?"
"Maybe she's lying to defend him, did you think about that?" Tifa asked.
"But she doesn't have to lie," Lucrecia countered. "Sephiroth wouldn't kill senselessly!"
"What about Nibelheim? What about Meteor? Don't tell me that wasn't senseless!!"
"He was insane then!"
"Well, maybe he's insane now!"
"Nothing happened to make him snap!"
"How do you know that!? Maybe Jenova's been convincing him all along!"
"He would not submit to her again, especially with Aeris around."
"What if it was all just an illusion!? An elaborate pretense so we'd trust him!?"
"That's enough!!"
Everyone turned to stare at Aeris. Few of them had ever heard her raise her voice. Finally Nanaki padded over to her and rubbed his face against her leg. Her expression softened briefly as she glanced down at him. The others stepped aside for her as she leaned down to briefly touch the corpse; Minerva was making little progress, if any, but the Cetra did not want to disturb her. She could not remember how long it had taken her. She had had no sense of time.
Straightening, she turned back to the group. She looked at each in turn before she spoke. Strangely, few of them held her gaze. Aeris sighed. "Cloud, Tifa... Surely you two are not so blind as to have missed seeing Sephiroth's transformation. Surely you are not so stubborn as to have ignored it. You know very well that he is not insane."
"Then how do you explain this?" Cloud demanded. Tifa, who had looked ashamed from the moment Aeris stepped in, cast him a sharp look.
The Cetra's voice remained calm and steady. "Minerva has told you, hasn't she? He used the only method he could think of to get to Jenova. He will kill her, and isn't that some redemption?"
"If he really is doing it, it's only for revenge, isn't it?" The anger was leaving him, and only a worried frown continued to mar his face.
"Not only for revenge. He knows what it means to the Planet, and he thinks that by doing it on his own, he's protecting the rest of us..."
"I still don't get it, Aeris. How could he do this, even if it is for a cause? Couldn't he think of something else? He's supposed to be brilliant, isn't he? So why did he have to kill again?"
Aeris sighed. "Cloud, come here," she said softly. He blinked, then walked the few steps towards her. Tifa let go of his arm and watched uncertainly. The Cetra cast her a slight smile, then lightly touched Cloud's arm. "Sit down?" He hesitated, but sat as she did. She closed her eyes for a moment. When she reopened them, they were twin pools of green, bottomless and reflective. A ghost of a smile graced her countenance.
"Cloud, imagine for a moment, that you are a child, naïve and full of hope as all children are. But you are different; your hope and naïveté are diminishing, because you are in a lab, you are a specimen, you are not allowed any freedom. You can only dream, and your dreams seem more and more impossible by the day."
Everyone was completely silent, listening intently. The others situated themselves in a circle around her. Faint compassion showed on some faces, mere interest on others. Aeris's voice remained steady, her gaze meeting those of her friends with a knowing smile.
"You are only an experiment, they tell you," she went on. "You are not fit to be with normal, human children. They treat you harshly, they experiment relentlessly, beat you without reason, but you think perhaps that this is how you should be treated, for you have known nothing else. Deep down, though, a resentment for it grows, and as you grow older, you become aware that this cruelty is not commonplace. No, it is deeply wrong. But what can you do?
"There is one, who is supposed to take care of you as well as discipline you, and she is not so indifferent as she once was. She does not know much, but she tells you what she can. You are eager to know about your family, relieved to know that you had one at some point. You wish you had known them, but it is enough now to know of them. This woman who takes care of you, you become friends with her, but never too close because of the lies and the cruelty that remain between you.
"One day, you see a little girl in the hallway as you are heading for the laboratory. She is crying. You risk punishment to sit down beside her and ask her if she is all right. But she surprises you; certainly you manage to reassure her, but she notices your pain as well. She is so young, and you thought you kept it well hidden, but she sees it so easily. She tells you that you are the same as she. It is years before you make a decision--to help her escape this horrible prison. You send her and her mother far away from this place, but stay behind yourself in hopes that you are enough to satisfy the curiosity of the Professor.
"The years pass with little difference from one to the next. You grow a little taller, you learn a little more about what is done to you, you gain a little more confidence, you have to hide a little more. And then, you begin to forget. Your perfect memory broken and blotched until hardly anything remains."
Aeris paused. Her audience remained silent, watching her. Even Minerva had turned from her daunting task to watch with an openness that Aeris had never seen before.
"...imagine for a moment, that you do not remember much of your past, and that what you do remember is vague and painful. You have never had any friends to speak of, not even friendly acquaintances. You have always been set apart from the others, different somehow. They laugh at you, sneer, scoff, snicker, condescend... You become steeled to their words so that no matter what they say, you can bear it without expression or comment.
"Then finally, imagine that you get your chance to show them all, to prove that you are better than they. But when you finally climb your way to the top, they only look at you in awe for your actions, thinking nothing of you as a person. Disappointed, disillusioned, jaded, you continue on, this nagging worry in your mind that maybe they were right...
"And for a while, you lose yourself to your duties, try not to think about the fact that you are completely and utterly alone, that no one even dares to touch you, to speak to you, unless they have to.
"Then one day, you discover that all you have ever been told about your past is a lie. All those little scraps of memories mean nothing at all. Almost your entire life is a blank, a lie. Suddenly, your identity falls apart. Who are you? All you ever thought you were is called into question. And that nagging voice in your mind that keeps wondering has grown stronger. Could it be that you are something... less than human?
"No, no, that can't be! You're better than them, you know it! With the fierceness born of years of repressed anger and hurt, you search for something, some piece of information that will prove that you are indeed superior. And look! You have found it! Sad story though it is, you are superior to them in every way, and you would be justified in telling them so, in treating them with cruelty worse than they treated you with, in exacting your revenge.
"In killing them.
"...killing them?
"Why not? You've killed before, in wars and battles and various missions. Countless people. Why should it be any different now? Just because they are defenseless...? But no, they have wronged you. For your entire existence, for the entire existence of all your people, they have always wronged you. And you are the only one who can compensate for it.
"Oh, glorious thing! You are the hero of your race! And you shall exact your revenge, and be rewarded. But what's this? You find another of your kind, your mother. Your mother, who surely must love you and understand you as no one else has ever done. She agrees with you, wants you to kill also. Well, then you are doubly justified, are you not?
"So you kill them.
"Time passes, and slowly a new 'truth' reaches your ears. A truth that says you are not what you thought you were, you are not superior, you are not justified in killing.
"What now? Surely that cannot be true. But... what if it is? There is another who claims to be one of your kind, and yet she is against you. Why? This truth says that you are not the same as her. You are the opposite of her. She is the light and you are the darkness.
"No, no, no! You are superior, you are justified. But your heart falters. What if these people you are killing... are innocent? Then you are a murderer. Oh please, gods, you do not want to be a murderer...
"Your mother wishes you to kill this girl who is against you. She says it must be done, and surely if you are to go on with your plan, she is right. So you agree, reluctantly, to kill the girl, this girl who says she is that which you are not. After taking her life, your heart cries, your mind falters. What is it that you have done? What is it that you are doing? Oh, stop, stop, please stop...
"But no, you must continue on. You are superior, you are justified. Your mother wishes you to take this revenge. So you go on. But your heart still cries, and your mind still wonders. Perhaps... you should not be doing this. Perhaps they were right all along. There are many who wish to kill you. You meet them at the end, in a final battle. Your mother is wounded already. You do not wish to fight them, not after hearing their words. Their words ring true in your ears, and you know you were wrong.
"You are a murderer.
"Let them kill you, then. Let them exact their revenge upon you, for theirs is justified, whereas yours was not. You killed without reason.
"You are a murderer.
"No one will ever forgive you for this.
"But... what is this? A new life again? Everyone still hates and fears you, but you have a new life. What are you to do with it? What can you do? What could you possibly do to make up for what you have done before? You cannot undo it...
"They tell you that you are powerful, though. Powerful enough to bring back the dead? Perhaps. So you bring back that girl who is what you were not and can never be. You bring her back, but she hates and fears you too, doesn't she? Then you shall wander alone for all your remaining years...
"But what is happening? She is getting involved in your problems. She says that you are no different than she, even though you are certain you are. What does she mean? What is she talking about? Why is she showing you, her murderer, kindness, when no one else has ever bothered?
"Soon enough, she is in the hands of your enemies, and you cannot allow that. You cannot allow her to be hurt again. So of course you will trade your life for hers. Yours is worthless. Let them do what they want with you; you deserve it.
"So many people involved, your enemies are the enemies of many. Your 'mother' speaks in your mind, urging you to join her once again, twisting reality and muddling the line between truth and falsehood, till you no longer know what is right and what is wrong. Won't someone free you from this madness? Won't someone clear your mind of these lies? But you know no one will come.
"But she does. That girl who is everything compared to your nothing, who is pure to your tainted, good to your evil. And she says she cares about you. She says she wants to help you, and she does. Why does she bother? And what is this strange feeling in your heart?
"Your enemies are defeated. Yet this mystery of the girl remains. You killed her. Why is she not afraid of you? You killed her. Why does she not see the danger? You killed her. Why does she care? Why does she bother? You killed her. Why do you allow her to remain at your side? Surely you are still dangerous, surely it is better for her to flee from you. Oh please, let her go away, you do not want her to die again...
"But you do not want her to go. You want to be with her, always. You want to protect her, though you are not her guardian. She understands you in a way that no one ever has, not even yourself. She cares about you, too. And you... you love her.
"The problem of your 'mother' remains. You have to get rid of her, get her out of your mind, remove her threat from the Planet. But how, if she can see your every thought, are you to find her and kill her? Surely she will only flee. So you must pull off your most incredible deception ever. You must trick even yourself into thinking that you shall side with her. You must deceive her into allowing you near her, that you may stab her in the back. But also, you must prove yourself to her.
"You must kill again.
"You know the girl will never approve. You know her friends will hate you forever. You know everyone will curse your name. But it must be done, because it is the only way.
"You say goodbye to the girl. You tell her you love her. You tell her you must go, and that she cannot come with you, and that she will not like what you are doing.
"But then, she says something strange.
"'I want you to come back.'
"Surely she cannot mean this, surely she would never wish to see you again... But there are tears in her eyes and a sob in her throat, and you tell her that of course you will return. You love her. You turn and walk away."
Aeris's voice faltered for the first time, dropping to a whisper. "What you do not know is that she loves you back."
The silence remained. Lucrecia was crying and Vincent put a strong arm around her. There were tears in Katrina's eyes. Yuffie's eyes were downcast and she methodically stroked Nanaki's mane. Miera was curled against Nanaki. Reeve looked as though he was holding back tears himself. Rude wore a deep frown. Elena appeared fascinated by her hands. Elder Hargo's gaze was clear and calm, while Elder Margo wore a sad smile. Minerva's steady gaze held a faint concern, and Reno's compassion was plain. The two were holding hands. Tifa was leaning against Cloud, who's face wore that troubled expression Aeris had seen so many times.
"Aeris..." he began, gently intruding upon the silence, but intruding all the same.
She blinked, giving a slight start upon hearing her name, and turned to regard him, the thoughtfulness gone from her eyes.
"I'm sorry," Cloud said, more certain of his words now. "I've been so mistrustful and hateful toward him, and you..."
"It's all right, Cloud," she replied. "I just hope I've managed to change that."
He nodded sincerely. "I... none of us... can think of him the same way anymore. There's no way."
Aeris smiled faintly, laid a hand on his shoulder, then turned to Minerva.
The girl dropped her gaze, glancing back at the dead man. "I cannot... It is as though something is stopping me..."
"Planet?" the Cetra murmured.
Wait, child, wait.
"...but why?"
You will understand in time. Do not worry.
Aeris sighed. "The Planet is interfering, though I've no idea why; it won't tell me."
"You mean you can't...?" Yuffie asked anxiously.
She shook her head. "No. I'll tell you when I understand it." She glanced towards the gate, then back at her friends. "...I'm going to him."
"Aeris..." Cloud began. She only smiled faintly and got to her feet.
Minerva stood also. "Aeris, it is his fight. He left you out of it for a reason."
"I know. But I have to go. Tell me, where is he?"
The girl hesitated, then sighed. "They are at the Northern Crater."
The Cetra bowed her head. "Thank you." Then she turned, stepping past the others who had all stood by now, and headed out through the gate. Her friends were starting to talk again behind her, but she ignored their voices and kept walking. She was nearly to the bottom of the stairs when she heard footsteps behind her and paused to glance over her shoulder.
Yuffie was descending the stairs two at a time, and Nanaki kept pace at her side. The two caught up with her, and the ninja flashed her a grin. "We're coming with you."
Aeris looked at the two for a moment, then shook her head, a smile coming to her face. "I just can't go anywhere by myself, can I? Well, at least everyone else didn't come along, too."
"Oh, they wanted to," the girl said as they started walking again. "But we figured Minerva should stay behind because she can sort of tell them what's going on, and Reno just wanted to stick around with her. Katrina wanted to come along, but she's too inexperienced. Cloud thought it was about time he let you do something on your own, and most everyone else figured it wasn't their fight."
"And it is yours?" the Cetra asked.
"Both of us are quite worried about Sephiroth," Nanaki said. "Perhaps not as much as you, but I still would like to consider him a friend."
"Me, too," Yuffie put in. "And besides, we're both leaders, right? It's in our towns' best interests to see this battle through. And, you know, we sorta wanna kick Jenova's ass."
Aeris laughed. "Well, I'm just glad to have two good friends along." v The ninja grinned at her. "...and hopefully we'll run across some chocobos. I don't know about you, but I don't plan on walking all the way."
"No, I hadn't planned on that either. Come on. There should be a flock northeast of here..."
Minerva sighed, looking down at the body from where she leaned against one pole of the gate. "...we should move his corpse," she said. "The villagers won't want their children to see it, I expect."
Miera nodded in agreement. "Let's move him up into the observatory. The children rarely go there, and never without permission."
The others looked at each other, wondering who would be the one to carry such a burden, and Minerva was about to do it herself when Rude quietly knelt and picked up the body. The girl met his gaze, nodded, and bent to retrieve the head. The tall Turk lead the way to the top of the canyon, Minerva following.
"What would Bugenhagen say?" she heard Elder Hargo ask as they were leaving.
"...'ho ho hooo'..." Margo replied sadly. "Oh, but he would understand. He always knew everything. He would probably feel as much sympathy for Sephiroth as for poor Ira..."
Rude laid the body down on the couch on the observatory's first floor, and Minerva set the head down near it. She shook her head slightly. "Perhaps the Planet simply wants Sephiroth to revive him..." she mused.
The Turk nodded. "Perhaps."
She glanced at him. "What do you make of all this?" she asked.
He shrugged. "I expected none of this when I agreed to come. It has turned out to be rather intriguing..." He hesitated. "I hope it turns out all right. It's turned out well for Reno, Elena, and Reeve anyway."
Minerva tilted her head. "And you?"
Another shrug, this one uncomfortable. "If my friends are content, it's good enough for me."
"I see," she said. "You are an observer."
Rude blinked. "...I guess you could say that."
She offered him a rare smile. "Try living life; it is more fun."
The Turk chuckled a little. "Reno should consider himself lucky."
The girl shrugged, smile fading as she turned for the door. Rude followed quietly. The group near the gate had dispersed somewhat. Reno, Reeve, and Elena were still there, as was Katrina who was speaking earnestly to Elder Margo. Most of the others had gone to sit by the Candle save for Miera who was not in sight. Presumably she had gone to attend to some other matter. The blood was all but gone from the ground.
Minerva and Rude had just rejoined the group when a little girl came running up. "Ira!" she cried, grasping Margo's skirts. "What's happened to Ira!?"
"Kari, dear, calm down..." the Elder said gently. "Ira will be all right..."
The girl shook her head vehemently. "I heard Sephiroth hurt 'im. But Sephiroth wouldn't hurt anyone, would he? Would he?"
Those gathered shifted uncomfortably as they watched the scene. A woman joined them, shaking her head. "Kari, please..." she said, her tone sounding both exasperated and worried.
"Mommy, what happened?"
"Anne, did you try to tell her...?" Margo asked.
The woman sighed. "One of the older children started to tell her, and now she won't settle for any answer I give her..."
"Then tell her the truth," Minerva said quietly.
Anne and Margo both looked at her, blinking. They glanced at each other. "She's only five..." Anne began.
Minerva sighed and walked to Kari, crouching down in front of her. "Can you listen to me for a moment without jumping to any conclusions?" she asked.
The girl nodded, releasing Margo's skirt as she turned to face this stranger.
"Sephiroth did hurt Ira... he killed Ira..." The little girl's eyes widened, but she said nothing and Minerva went on. "But he did not want to. Someone named Jenova forced him to, and he has gone to fight her now. Do you understand?"
Kari nodded. "...so Ira's... dead?"
"Yes."
The girl mulled this over for a long moment. "Is he ever coming back?"
Minerva hesitated. "I am not sure. He might be."
"...but he might not..." Kari murmured. She started to cry, clinging to the girl with the silver hair.
Blinking in surprise, Minerva put a tentative hand on the girl's slender shoulder and glanced up at Anne and Margo, silently entreating one of them to take the girl.
Anne bent down and gently pulled her daughter to her, and Kari cried into her shoulder instead. Minerva got to her feet, watching the pair uncertainly.
"I suppose she would have found out eventually," Margo said with a sigh. "Poor dear."
The silver-haired girl turned away and headed for the stairs. She heard footsteps behind her; Reno. She stopped by the ledge half-way up the canyon and sat down. He joined her a moment later.
"Didn't know you were good with kids," he said with a grin.
She shrugged. "I just didn't want them to lie to her."
"Maybe the Planet'll let Sephiroth revive him once Jenova's dead," Reno said.
"Maybe," she agreed. "Or maybe it is tired of the Lifestream's natural course being interrupted."
"It should understand, shouldn't it?"
Minerva shook her head. "How should I know? I cannot hear the Planet."
He shrugged. "How's Sephiroth doing, do you know?"
"...he is alive. Beyond that, I cannot tell without asking."
"You worried?"
"...a bit. Mainly because Aeris is."
He studied her for a moment, and she glanced at him. He leaned back. "They'll probably be okay," he said. "Sephiroth's pretty powerful, isn't he? Aeris, too."
Minerva did not reply.
The redhead looked back at her. "You okay?"
"I am fine," she deadpanned. She paused. "I just... I am worried... Even if Aeris asked him to come back, she did not tell him she loved him. He may get reckless, not knowing that."
"Aeris'll be there soon..."
She frowned, did not voice her doubts. "I hope so," she said.
Reno sat up and took her hand. "Hey. He'll be okay."
She looked at him. "Reno..." She leaned against him like a sigh, letting go. Who cared if she looked weak? Who cared...? He put an arm around her, saying nothing. "Thank you," she murmured softly.
"No problem," he replied. After a long moment, he commented, "You never did answer my question."
"What question?"
A slight hesitation. "You know, when I asked if you'd marry me."
"Reno, you were drunk..."
"I still meant it."
She shifted uncomfortably. "I'm seventeen..."
"Does that really matter to you?" he asked.
Minerva did not bother to answer. They both knew it didn't. "I have only known you for a week..."
"Then give me a maybe or a no."
She was silent for a long time. She knew what Aeris's 'maybe' had done to Sephiroth, but to commit herself like that...? She could not say no. Why did he have to ask her now? she wondered in torment.
What are you so uncertain about? she asked herself. Don't you love him? She blinked. Did she?
"...Min?" He sounded anxious, worried more about her lack of response than what her answer might be.
She twisted to look at him, at his brilliant red hair, his twin scars, his bright aquamarine eyes. "How about a yes?" she offered.
"R-really?" he asked, surprised but grinning. "You mean it?"
"Yes," she replied. "But... not any time soon, I mean..."
Reno hugged her tightly, startling her. After a moment, Minerva found herself returning the embrace.