Bronwe: Admitting (7/?)
By ALBA
******
DISCLAIMER: The characters mentioned in this story do not belong to me, they belong to J.R.R. Tolkien's estate. I merely borrowed them and will return them when I'm finished with them. I am making no money off this fiction, in fact, I'm paying for it to even BE here. So don't sue me because I am flat broke. PrettySparklyDanceBoys broke my bank.
DEDICATION: For Kris, my beloved, nasty elfslut. :) For Janelle, my smutmuse who gives me the needed boots to the head. And to Daisy Gamgee for her kind words and her go-ahead for me to write this series. A big thank you to everyone who's reviewed this little fic of mine (Marigold, Pip Morgan, Danielle, FictionHobbit, RachelStonebreaker, Dormouse, and Lia). Your kind words mean soooo much to me.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: "Bronwe" is Sindarin for "enduring, lasting quality, faith" (according to http://www.jrrvf.com/~hisweloke/cgi-bin/sintrans.cgi). No, Elves don't have anything to do with the story. I just liked the word. :) I'm posting four parts this go-round but if you've been to my site recently, you'll have already read them there. My site URL can be found on my profile, and I'm Alba. :) Kris is my best friend and fellow LOTR-nut.
******
BRONWE: Admitting
It had been a month of silence. A month since Merry told Pippin to get lost. A month since he'd seen the younger hobbit. He knew he was supposed to be happy about it, but he just couldn't feel happy. He'd broken the heart of a kid who had done nothing wrong. He wasn't feeling very pleased with himself at the moment. Not that he'd ever admit it to anyone.
When Sam had innocently asked where Pippin was one day, Merry had brushed him off. None of Sam's business where Pippin was. And Frodo hadn't even asked, which was a very good thing. Merry never could lie to his cousin. He knew Frodo wouldn't be happy with the way he'd treated Pippin, but he'd had no choice. He had done what he had to do and if Frodo didn't like that, then tough. Not Merry's problem.
*Who are you trying to fool, Meriadoc?* Merry muttered to himself. *Not your problem!*
"Merry? Are you alright?" Frodo's voice asked from somewhere in front of him. Merry opened his eyes and met his cousin's concerned gaze.
"I'm fine, why?"
"You've been standing at my gate for fifteen minutes, muttering to yourself. Sam got concerned when you wouldn't answer so he came to get me."
"Fifteen minutes? I've been standing here for fifteen minutes?"
"That's what I said." Frodo's eyes sparkled with half-concealed amusement and Merry good-naturedly rolled his eyes.
"I was thinking."
"Thinking so hard that you wouldn't respond even when Sam cuffed you upside the head?" Frodo asked and Merry shrugged.
"Scared me right bad, too," Sam piped up from the garden.
Merry just shook his head fondly. "I was *deep* in thought."
"So that's what we smelled burning," teased Frodo before turning serious again. "Merry, What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Merry squirmed under the frankness of Frodo's gaze.
"Meriadoc."
"What? Frodo, nothing's wrong!"
"Fine, fine. Nothing's wrong," Frodo sighed. "You would tell me if something was going on?"
"Of course," Merry lied before lapsing into silence.
Where's your shadow?" Frodo suddenly challenged, breaking the peacefulness of the day.
"My what?"
"Shadow. You know, that little hobbit named Pippin. Where is he?"
"Oh. I haven't seen him for a couple of weeks now. I guess he gave up following me around." Merry tried to make his voice sound as convincing as possible. Frodo didn't need to know that Merry had been the reason Pippin gave up.
"Funny... Pippin doesn't seem to be the type to just give up like that," Frodo mused. "Why would a child who adores you suddenly just give up?"
"Maybe he found something more interesting than me."
"Meriadoc. What aren't you telling me?"
"Why do I have to be hiding something?" Merry cried, frustrated. "I. Am. Fine! I'm happy that little brat isn't following me around anymore! Hear that? I am HAPPY. Is that such a bad thing?" Glaring at Frodo, Merry crossed his arms over his chest. It was a good thing that Pippin was gone. It was.
Frodo glared back. "It is a bad thing when you don't say it like you mean it."
"I do mean it!"
"Keep telling yourself that and maybe you'll believe it." Frodo gave one last glare before stalking to his front door and slamming it closed behind him, making Sam jump in surprise.
"But I haven't done anything wrong!" Merry told himself. "This has got to have something to do with Pippin. Even when he's not around, he's harassing me! But I'm glad he's gone, really I am."
"Why don't I believe you?" Sam asked, coming over to the gate.
"Just." Merry paused, running his hand over his eyes. "Just leave me alone, okay?"
"Mr. Merry..."
"What?"
"Mr. Frodo knows everything. Mr. Paladin came to see him yesterday."
Merry raised his eyebrows. "Did he now?"
"And Mr. Paladin said that Pippin ain't been outside his room for nearly a week and that he's spent a lot of time crying. Every time somebody mentions your name, he cries harder. So Mr. Frodo reckoned that you'd said something to him. Something real bad."
"Does nobody mind their own business in this place?"
"This is the Shire, Mr. Merry. Everybody knows everyone else's business."
Merry had to smile a bit at that. "Point taken, Sam. But what happened between Pippin and I is really none of anyone else's concern."
"Maybe it is, Mr. Merry," Sam said slowly. "Maybe it is somebody else's concern when lies are told."
"What do you mean by that, Samwise Gamgee?"
"Nothing." Sam's normally expressive face was closed-off, secretive. Merry narrowed his eyes slightly. "I'm just saying that lying is the worst thing one hobbit can do to another." Leaving Merry to stew on that for a while, Sam went back to work. Giving Frodo's door one last look, Merry started off down the lane towards Buckland. He had a lot to think about.
"I didn't lie," Merry whispered. "I didn't. I was telling the truth... Pippin was driving me crazy, following me around like that. He was! It's tiresome having a shadow. He should have been out playing with children his own age, not following me. His sisters should have told him not to get his hopes up. His parents might have looked after him better. Maybe then none of this would have happened. Not that I'm sad it did. No. I'm fine. Happy, in fact. I'm glad I'm on my own, free to do what I want, when I want. No shadows, no nothing. Just me and my imagination." His feet took him closer to home, each step reminding of what Pippin must have done not long before. No, he wouldn't dwell on that. His mind was nowhere near hobbit children around 16 years of age. No. Merry was happy now that he didn't have one around all the time. It was great. Really it was.
"Ah, who are you trying to fool, Meriadoc?" he finally muttered to himself, stopping dead in the middle of the road. "You're miserable now that the kid isn't following you around. You MISS him." Finally admitting to himself what he'd been afraid to let himself think all along, Merry let out a huge sigh. "Well, fool, you've admitted it. You miss Pippin. Now what are you going to do?"
By ALBA
******
DISCLAIMER: The characters mentioned in this story do not belong to me, they belong to J.R.R. Tolkien's estate. I merely borrowed them and will return them when I'm finished with them. I am making no money off this fiction, in fact, I'm paying for it to even BE here. So don't sue me because I am flat broke. PrettySparklyDanceBoys broke my bank.
DEDICATION: For Kris, my beloved, nasty elfslut. :) For Janelle, my smutmuse who gives me the needed boots to the head. And to Daisy Gamgee for her kind words and her go-ahead for me to write this series. A big thank you to everyone who's reviewed this little fic of mine (Marigold, Pip Morgan, Danielle, FictionHobbit, RachelStonebreaker, Dormouse, and Lia). Your kind words mean soooo much to me.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: "Bronwe" is Sindarin for "enduring, lasting quality, faith" (according to http://www.jrrvf.com/~hisweloke/cgi-bin/sintrans.cgi). No, Elves don't have anything to do with the story. I just liked the word. :) I'm posting four parts this go-round but if you've been to my site recently, you'll have already read them there. My site URL can be found on my profile, and I'm Alba. :) Kris is my best friend and fellow LOTR-nut.
******
BRONWE: Admitting
It had been a month of silence. A month since Merry told Pippin to get lost. A month since he'd seen the younger hobbit. He knew he was supposed to be happy about it, but he just couldn't feel happy. He'd broken the heart of a kid who had done nothing wrong. He wasn't feeling very pleased with himself at the moment. Not that he'd ever admit it to anyone.
When Sam had innocently asked where Pippin was one day, Merry had brushed him off. None of Sam's business where Pippin was. And Frodo hadn't even asked, which was a very good thing. Merry never could lie to his cousin. He knew Frodo wouldn't be happy with the way he'd treated Pippin, but he'd had no choice. He had done what he had to do and if Frodo didn't like that, then tough. Not Merry's problem.
*Who are you trying to fool, Meriadoc?* Merry muttered to himself. *Not your problem!*
"Merry? Are you alright?" Frodo's voice asked from somewhere in front of him. Merry opened his eyes and met his cousin's concerned gaze.
"I'm fine, why?"
"You've been standing at my gate for fifteen minutes, muttering to yourself. Sam got concerned when you wouldn't answer so he came to get me."
"Fifteen minutes? I've been standing here for fifteen minutes?"
"That's what I said." Frodo's eyes sparkled with half-concealed amusement and Merry good-naturedly rolled his eyes.
"I was thinking."
"Thinking so hard that you wouldn't respond even when Sam cuffed you upside the head?" Frodo asked and Merry shrugged.
"Scared me right bad, too," Sam piped up from the garden.
Merry just shook his head fondly. "I was *deep* in thought."
"So that's what we smelled burning," teased Frodo before turning serious again. "Merry, What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Merry squirmed under the frankness of Frodo's gaze.
"Meriadoc."
"What? Frodo, nothing's wrong!"
"Fine, fine. Nothing's wrong," Frodo sighed. "You would tell me if something was going on?"
"Of course," Merry lied before lapsing into silence.
Where's your shadow?" Frodo suddenly challenged, breaking the peacefulness of the day.
"My what?"
"Shadow. You know, that little hobbit named Pippin. Where is he?"
"Oh. I haven't seen him for a couple of weeks now. I guess he gave up following me around." Merry tried to make his voice sound as convincing as possible. Frodo didn't need to know that Merry had been the reason Pippin gave up.
"Funny... Pippin doesn't seem to be the type to just give up like that," Frodo mused. "Why would a child who adores you suddenly just give up?"
"Maybe he found something more interesting than me."
"Meriadoc. What aren't you telling me?"
"Why do I have to be hiding something?" Merry cried, frustrated. "I. Am. Fine! I'm happy that little brat isn't following me around anymore! Hear that? I am HAPPY. Is that such a bad thing?" Glaring at Frodo, Merry crossed his arms over his chest. It was a good thing that Pippin was gone. It was.
Frodo glared back. "It is a bad thing when you don't say it like you mean it."
"I do mean it!"
"Keep telling yourself that and maybe you'll believe it." Frodo gave one last glare before stalking to his front door and slamming it closed behind him, making Sam jump in surprise.
"But I haven't done anything wrong!" Merry told himself. "This has got to have something to do with Pippin. Even when he's not around, he's harassing me! But I'm glad he's gone, really I am."
"Why don't I believe you?" Sam asked, coming over to the gate.
"Just." Merry paused, running his hand over his eyes. "Just leave me alone, okay?"
"Mr. Merry..."
"What?"
"Mr. Frodo knows everything. Mr. Paladin came to see him yesterday."
Merry raised his eyebrows. "Did he now?"
"And Mr. Paladin said that Pippin ain't been outside his room for nearly a week and that he's spent a lot of time crying. Every time somebody mentions your name, he cries harder. So Mr. Frodo reckoned that you'd said something to him. Something real bad."
"Does nobody mind their own business in this place?"
"This is the Shire, Mr. Merry. Everybody knows everyone else's business."
Merry had to smile a bit at that. "Point taken, Sam. But what happened between Pippin and I is really none of anyone else's concern."
"Maybe it is, Mr. Merry," Sam said slowly. "Maybe it is somebody else's concern when lies are told."
"What do you mean by that, Samwise Gamgee?"
"Nothing." Sam's normally expressive face was closed-off, secretive. Merry narrowed his eyes slightly. "I'm just saying that lying is the worst thing one hobbit can do to another." Leaving Merry to stew on that for a while, Sam went back to work. Giving Frodo's door one last look, Merry started off down the lane towards Buckland. He had a lot to think about.
"I didn't lie," Merry whispered. "I didn't. I was telling the truth... Pippin was driving me crazy, following me around like that. He was! It's tiresome having a shadow. He should have been out playing with children his own age, not following me. His sisters should have told him not to get his hopes up. His parents might have looked after him better. Maybe then none of this would have happened. Not that I'm sad it did. No. I'm fine. Happy, in fact. I'm glad I'm on my own, free to do what I want, when I want. No shadows, no nothing. Just me and my imagination." His feet took him closer to home, each step reminding of what Pippin must have done not long before. No, he wouldn't dwell on that. His mind was nowhere near hobbit children around 16 years of age. No. Merry was happy now that he didn't have one around all the time. It was great. Really it was.
"Ah, who are you trying to fool, Meriadoc?" he finally muttered to himself, stopping dead in the middle of the road. "You're miserable now that the kid isn't following you around. You MISS him." Finally admitting to himself what he'd been afraid to let himself think all along, Merry let out a huge sigh. "Well, fool, you've admitted it. You miss Pippin. Now what are you going to do?"