A/N: Not much to say... may the force be with Riku. Definitely.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, FFVII, the leather pants, the Bee Gees, Lord of the Rings, Hanson, disco, the coconut song, the TNSK reference, Jennifer Lopez (I refuse to call her "J-lo" or whatever she's calling herself these days), Star Wars, Barney, South Park, a Brazilian orphanage, or Winnie the Pooh.


"HAHAHAHAH! FRODO, PREPARE TO FACE THE WRATH OF HANSON!" A voice rang out.

"Oh, it's just my twin... He really is Sauron, y'know..." Sora muttered, returning to his book.

Riku sighed, just as Mmm bop started playing. He heard a few Elijah Wood-equse screams, then... silence. Well, silence minus the music and Sora humming "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts..."

Then, the younger boy stood up. "Okay Riku, I'll be right back!" And he ran into his conveniently placed changing room that popped up out of nowhere. A few seconds later, he re-emerged, wearing REALLY tight leather pants, and only that. He leapt into the center of the room (which had turned into a disco arena), and started dancing to Bee Gees songs.

Riku jumped down from the wall (why he didn't do so before is beyond me). "Sora, if you're going to 'send' the outfit (and most likely me) away, do it quickly..."

The dark keyblade appeared in his hand. "BEFORE I KICK YOUR @$$!"

The music stopped.

"Well, then..." Sora said, getting out a lightsaber, "I didn't want to tell you, but... Riku, I am your father."

There was a long moment of TOTAL silence.

Then...

"No you're not!"

The brunette shrugged. "It was worth a try."


Let's take a break from all this action (yeah, right!), and check on guardian...

"Don't be fooled by the rocks that I've got, I'm still Jenny from the block!"


Did I say guardian? I meant Wakka! Yeah, let's check on Wakka!

Wakka was standing in his normal place.

How ARE you, Wakka?

"I'm good, ya?"

Having a nice day?

"Yeah! Me and Tee-dus, we gonna have some fun! Sellin' lemons!"

...

Due to highly unfortunate circumstances, when the narrator was aiming a Thundaga at a Brazilian orphanage to supply free power, it was aimed wrong and now Wakka is twitching in the hospital.

Tidus ran up and gasped. "You killed Wakka, you bas-"

Due to even higher unfortunate circumstances, the same thing happened again, but to Tidus.

Oh well, on to the important stuff...


"So, the rebel alliance group AVALANCHE has regrouped?"

"Yes, Darth Kairi."

"... Crap. I want all chocobo-ass haired blonde men gathered here in half an hour. We can't take any chances."

As Kairi walked away, the nameless person asked her a question. "Do you actually plan to do all this just in one day?"

"Yep."

Now, let's check on Ansem!

... Who was admiring himself.

"My hair is so LOVELY, my LOVELY hair! It's so LOVELY!" Every time he sung "LOVELY", it came out nasty.

He put down his hairbrush and looked around. "I wonder where guardian went... Oh well, I must go off to watch Barn- WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING?! I'm Ansem, the lord of darkness! I'm acting like a damn girl! I MUST put a stop to this!"

What's he up to? I hope it doesn't involve nudity. I REALLY hope it doesn't.

Anyway, back to Riku and Sora...

Who were kicking the almighty crap out of each other. Go figure.

"Riku... I... don't... wanna... hurt... you..." Sora panted for breath, leaning on his keyblade, then collapsed.

"Oops..." The older boy muttered, grabbed Sora's hand, and started dragging him off. Why? I have no idea.

Just before he left, he checked the time.

"IT'S ONLY 10:30 AM?!"


A/N: No cliffhanger this time... I'm too tired to write any more. So short...