THE THREE WIELDERS OF THE ENCHANTED SILVERWARE
by Mizalaye
Author's Note: I must give all of you a HUGE apology. I have been neglecting this story…badly! (If you want to see what I've been working on, check out my other fics!!! (shameless plug…sorry again)) Please forgive me, and review this story!!!! (please???) I hope this chapter is worth the wait for you!
Extra Note: Kudos to Figure for sharp eyes in this chapter! *blushes* I missed an "s." Thank you for noticing!
Chapter Four: A Battle, a Monkey Wrench, Two Backpacks (and a Rabbit)
Inside Galadriel's Mirror, three teenaged girls sat side by side. All six eyes were fixed on a small TV set. On the screen, Gandalf said, "I was…delayed."
"Now we get to find out just how twisted Gandalf's personality is," Anagorn said bitterly.
"Oh, cheer up," Katholas said. "Maybe he survived intact."
"Or maybe not," Camli responded, pointing to the screen.
Gandalf slowly stood to his feet on the roof of Orthanc. "Where's my laptop?" he muttered.
"Gandalf has a laptop?" Camli echoed.
"How am I supposed to get down from here without my equipment?" Gandalf asked himself. Suddenly, he reached into a large pocket on his robe and pulled out…a small laptop! "A-ha!" Then, of course, it began to rain. Quickly, Gandalf scurried into a corner and hunched over his computer, protecting it from the rain. Then, he began to type.
Suddenly, Saruman appeared on the rooftop. "We mutht join Thauron, Gandalf," he lisped.
Utter silence snapped onto the Mirror. Three jaws dropped in shock.
"There ith no other way," Saruman added.
Simultaneously, the three girls watching from the mirror recovered from their shock – and dissolved into helpless laughter.
"I-I-I'm Tharoman!" Katholas cried through her giggles.
"I am the white withard of Ithenguard!" added Anagorn, imitating Saruman's lisp perfectly.
"Uhm… girls?" Camli said, suddenly laughing even harder than before. "You might…want to…see this."
Rather than using his staff to fling Gandalf around the roof, Saruman had whipped out a small, and predictably white, laptop of his own.
"I can out-program you!" Gandalf cried.
"Not while I hold the power of the white laptop!" Saruman cried in return.
In exact unison, the two wizards-turned-computer-geeks began typing furiously.
"Ha!" Gandalf said. "I've blocked your access to all of Orthanc's computers!"
"Ha yourthelf," Saruman retorted. "I've jutht re-ethtablished contact with my thervers!"
"Double ha!" Gandalf was quick to respond. "I've re-programmed the weather so it's stopped raining!"
Sure enough, no rain now fell against the roof.
"And," Gandalf went on, "I've told all your orcs to stop ripping up the trees!"
Another moment of furious typing and counter-typing followed.
"Triple ha!" To the girl's dismay, it was Saruman who spoke. "My orcth are back to their jobth, the rain ith coming back, and…" He waited, seeming to enjoy the suspense. "…I've jutht fixed fanfiction-dot-net's hardware problemth! I have won, Gandalf."
Gandalf typed a few more commands into his laptop, then stood and replaced the computer in its pocket. "There is only one Lord of the Ring, Saruman. And he does not share passwords!" With that, the gray wizard ran and leapt off the roof's edge, landing easily on the back of the eagle he had just summoned via email.
"Tho," Saruman intoned, "you have chothen…death."
The scene changed yet again.
"Gandalf?" Frodo asked.
"Look at his staff!" Katholas exclaimed.
Rather than his usual wooden staff, Gandalf now held a thin, gray pole capped with an oblong…something. The three girls studied the top of the staff for several moments. Its identity occurred to them all at the same moment.
"It's a computer mouse!"
"Well, it fits," Anagorn muttered.
Just then, a voice floated over from the TV set. "Mista' Frodo! Mista' Frodo!"
"That doesn't sound like Sam…" Anagorn muttered.
Six eyes returned to the screen.
"That doesn't look like Sam," Katholas added.
"Well, then, Miss Sherlock Holmes, deductive logic would dictate that that isn't Sam! Duh!" Camli said with no little bit of sarcasm.
She was promptly smacked – from both sides.
"Cheeze it, Frodo! You'se awake!" said Not-Sam in a thick New York accent.
Elrond cleared up all mystery once and for all. "Racetrack has hardly left your side."
"I was dat worried 'bout ya, Frodo!" Racetrack exclaimed. "'Sides, we was takin' bets on when you was finally gonna wake up. I won, too!"
"What is Racetrack doing in Middle Aerth?" Katholas asked rhetorically.
"Probably the same thing Tom Cruise is," Anagorn replied. "Throwing a monkey wrench into the story."
On the screen, Racetrack flung a monkey wrench over the edge of the balcony.
The three girls blinked in shock.
"Help," Katholas muttered.
Then, Elrond appeared on the screen. "Welcome to Rivendell, Frodo Ins."
Frodo and Gandalf both shot Elrond very confused looks. So did the three girls on the other side of the screen.
"Well, we certainly can't call you Baggins, since you haven't got a bag," Elrond explained, humor twinkling in his eyes. "Get it?"
Frodo shook his head.
Elrond sighed.
Anagorn, Katholas, and Camli smacked their foreheads with their palms.
"He's a comedian," Anagorn muttered in disgust.
"A bad comedian," Camli added.
"Well, it could be worse," Katholas said.
"How?" Camli asked.
Katholas smiled. "He could have been in the Fellowship. Now, at least, we only have to endure it during the Council."
The shot changed yet again – to Frodo and Sam out on the balcony of Rivendell.
"Well…" Anagorn commented, "We have a while 'til our next scene. Any bright ideas on how to kill time?"
Silence reigned in the Mirror.
"These Enchanted Backpacks seem about as messed up as the rest of this movie," Camli said thoughtfully. "I wonder what else we could pull out of there?"
"Let's try it!" Katholas exclaimed.
"But what if we pull out something we'll need later?" Anagorn asked worriedly.
"Anne," Camli put in, "the Backpacks don't work. Let's just have some fun before we die, ok?"
"DIE?" Anagorn exclaimed. "I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank -"
Before Anagorn could say another word in protest, Katholas stuck her hand into her purple Backpack. "Here we go," she said. A moment later, she pulled out a large, rolled sheet of paper.
Camli and Anagorn shot each other raised-eyebrow glances.
Katholas unrolled the paper. "It's a map…I think."
"Lemme see," Anagorn said, having shoved the worries about dying to the back of her mind.
Camli and Anagorn shoved in behind Katholas and examined the map closely. The picture consisted of one huge country, one smaller country, and a lot of very tiny countries, all surrounded by blue. The huge country, which had been colored red, bore the picture of a well-dressed man. The smaller country beside it, which was green, held the tiny picture of a poor, naked man.
"Uhm…" Katholas looked quite scared.
Suddenly, Anagorn began to laugh. "Don't you two see?"
Both of the other girls shook their heads, quite confused.
By this time, however, Anagorn was laughing so hard that she couldn't force the words from her mouth.
A moment later, Katholas and Camli looked back up from the map. "It's the classroom map from The King and I!" they shouted in unison. Both dissolved into laughter themselves.
"My turn!" Camli declared when she could breathe again. With a mischievous grin that looked as if it belonged to a hobbit, she plunged one hand into her red Backpack and drew out a white rabbit.
"I thought those always came out of hats," Anagorn commented.
"I was running late, and this was as close as I could get," the rabbit replied tartly. "Good day." With that, the rabbit ran from the Mirror – though none of the girls could figure out how, as the Mirror had no exits.
"Uhm…girls?" Katholas had turned her face back to the screen.
The scene changed.
Again, a disclaimer: First of all, I do not own Sherlock Holmes. I don't actually know who does, either… I, again, do not own Tom Cruise. I also do not own Racetrack, nor do I own the movie Newsies, which is where Racetrack is from. Disney owns both of them. I also do not own Rodger and Hammerstein's The King and I. I just enjoy using their props. The white rabbit, the laptops, Gandalf's staff, the monkey wrench, and all other totally random moments are mine. Don't steal them, please!!! Thank you.
(I don't remember who I've written notes to in the past…so I'm just writing to everybody who's reviewed so far!) =o)
Lady Eowyn – Actually, I am not a penguin myself. However, I would encourage you to keep reading, as randomness that is put into reviews has an interesting habit of ending up IN the story…..=o)
Celewen Silverstar – Thank you for reviewing! I hope you like this installment!
Hobbit_Fancier-Kare – Thanks for the review…here's your update.
Annungwathiel – Thank you soooo much for reviewing. I hope this chapter meets your expectations.
What's up? – Are you and Lady Eowyn really the same person, or do you just have the same bizarre fixation with penguins? Just wondering… As for your questions, I will answer a couple of them. Camli is going to be saying, "somebody spiked the popcorn" a lot. It's funny now. You're going to have to watch for Tom Cruise! =o) And, I can't answer the silverware question without giving away part of this nearly-nonexistent plot. Sorry=o)
SapphireRose – Once more, thank you for your faithful – and amusing - reviews. Aqui es mas. *grins* =o)