Author's Note: Hooray for Emelan! See, now, Emelan has expanded to include… um… a bunch of stuff. And now, finally, people are writing about *all gasp fakely* the students of the Circle of Magic characters! How Jolly! Jolly must always be spelled (and pronounced) with a capital J. Anyway, I'll write about Emelan next chapter, and in the meantime I'll give you Tortall for your enjoyment! I had actually resolved to do this only when I had twenty reviews, but I figured, heck, nineteen was close enough, and anyway, I would be long in waiting for that one elusive review if other stories kept butting in front of mine. Now that you're done listening to my fascinating opinions, on to the story!
Alanna, King Jonathon, Liam, George and Coram compare their weapons skills.
Alanna: I go first!
Liam: *rolls eyes* Didn't you do this in the last fic? And why, precisely, are you so intent on going first?
Coram: Yeah, it's not like you're so special or anything.
George: HEY! Don't go around mocking my wife!
Alanna: I'm not your wife, you're my husband! I own you, not the other way around!
George: *meekly* Sorry, O Great Master.
Liam: You still haven't answered my question.
Jonathon: Which is…
Liam: Why does she go first?
Alanna: Because this is the second fic I'm in!
Coram: So? The circle of magic characters were in TWO fics! All of them! Already!
Alanna: Oh, be quiet, slave. I'm going first!
George: As you wish, Pearl of Hope.
Alanna: Um… George?
George: Yes, Moon of Mathematical Wisdom?
Alanna: You are not Cleon.
George: Oh yeah. Sorry, Highness.
Alanna: Much better. Moving on… I'm best, because I can use a sword better than anyone here!
Liam: Wanna lay some money on that? *fingers twitch uncontrollably.*
Alanna: I already proved that I was better than you in the fourth book, you pathetic loser. Remember?
Liam: *hurriedly* Oh, yeah! Anyway, let's keep talking about the book.
Jonathon: We aren't talking about the book, Liam.
Coram: Yeah. For a king, you're pretty unintelligent. Now old King Jason, on the other hand… now he was a king worth follow-
Jonathon: Silence, insubordinate wretch! I am your king! You owe your allegiance to me! Be quiet before I have you thrown into dungeons with lemon peels on the floors!
Alanna: *pointedly* I think we're still talking about my weapons…
Jonathon: Too bad. We aren't. We're off that topic. Now it's MY turn!
Alanna: *Pouts.*
Jonathon: I'm better than any of you, because… because… um… just because.
George: *smirking* You don't have any reasons, do you?
Jonathon: *searching desperately for a defense* Of course I do! I definitely do! Oh yeah, really great reasons! It's just… that the author… doesn't have good… uh oh.
Liam: Are you saying that for a particular reason?
Jonathon: *shrugs* Nah. It just sounds cool.
Liam: Okay, just wondering.
George: "…Just because"… how pathetic. I can come up with better reasons than that.
Jonathon: *eagerly* Like what?
George: Oh, I'm not going to tell you that… you'll just use them to your advantage.
Jonathon: *taunting* George does-n't kno-ow, George does-n't kno-ow…
George: Fine! At the desert, you beat a full-blooded Bazhir tribal chief! A strong one! Which was cool!
Jonathon: *strokes beard* Yes, I was rather dashing, daring, romantic, bold, strong, courageous, intrep-
Alanna: No, you weren't.
Jonathon: I am offended!
Coram: Well, I'm not. And guess why Alanna is so good at swordplay?
Alanna: Uh… I practiced a lot, and I'm just naturally better than you?
Coram: No, you aren't just naturally better. I told you to learn the sword, remember?
Alanna: That's right, you did!
Coram: *triumphantly* And that's why you're a good swordsman! So I deserve the credit! Plus, I saved Duke Gareth's life, and did a whole bunch of other stuff no one mentioned because it wasn't important in the books! So HA! I'm the better swordsman!
Alanna: Face it, Coram, you aren't.
Liam: I was a Shang warrior before I died.
All: *Blink.*
George: You… died?
Liam: Yeah, I died. What's the big deal? *notices eyes on him.* Hey, why's everyone staring at me? Huh? *Rolls his eyes.* Never mind. Anyway, I trained Alanna in the arts of the Shang! And, a friend of mine coached Jon, which was how he defeated the Bazhir dude!
Jonathon: *mumbling* He was not your friend. I asked.
Liam: *Impatiently* Whatever! The point is, without us, you would've DIED fighting the guy dolled up in blue. Plus, I am so the best fighter in everything but swordsmanship!
Author: And archery. Unless you want to challenge Daine…?
Liam: *quickly* Oh, no, that's fine, just fine… *chuckles weakly* Challenge Daine, what do these people come up with?
George: My turn now! With your permission, of course, Highness.
Alanna: *distractedly* Yes, go ahead, go ahead. *Continues trying to create a spell that makes the hair fall out of Jonathon's beard.*
Jonathon: A spell that does what?
Author: Stop reading the captions and continue on with the stupid conversation!
Jonathon: Fine, fine…
George: AS I WAS SAYING, *glares at Jonathon* I taught young Alan – I mean, Alanna - all he – sorry, she - knew about hand-to-hand combat! That's how she defeated Ralon of Malven!
Alanna: Oh, right. So what you're saying is, I knew nothing on my own and had no natural talent that enabled me to keep up with you on your pathetically easy lessons.
George: Yeah, exactly righ- hey, wait a second. THEY WERE NOT PATHETIC, AND THEY WERE NOT EASY!
Alanna: Yes, they were.
George: Tamora Pierce doesn't think so!
Alanna: Oh yeah? Well, Gablonkers to Tamora Pier –
Omnipotent Voice: EXCUSE ME?
Liam: *whispering* Now you've done it.
Omnipotent Voice: I THOUGHT I JUST HEARD SOMEONE INSULT THE GODDESS, TAMORA PIERCE, WRITER OF ALL THAT IS GOOD!
Alanna: Oh, I did? I'm sorry.
Omnipotent Voice: YOU'RE NOT SORRY ENOUGH! THIS WILL MAKE YOU PAY!
All: Uh-oh…
Jonathon: *in a belated whisper* And it means something this time!
Huge chunks of pure power make a whirling tornado that swamps the entire fourth chapter in a mass of flames, magic, wind, and water (no, I don't know where it came from…)
Author's Note: Continue to review it! I know you like my stories so much, though, that I don't have to give you that reminder anymore! *Cough, cough.* At any rate, just keep up the good work (i.e. review my wonderful stories!) and ignore my infamous rants, opinions, polls (what polls? I hear you asking) and other various junk of the magical natures that the items listed above. Well, of course, you don't have to, and you obviously aren't if you're reading this, but… POWER TO EMELAN! YAY! Next chapter will be Emelan, for those of you who were wondering and who hadn't read the Author's Note at the top. And, by the way, yes, I know that I used 'pathetic' and derivatives of it too many times. I don't care. So sue me. Actually, don't. I can't afford it. Unless, of course, you ask for Barnes & Nobles gift cards as payment if I lose the case (I have over one thousand dollars in them!) Anyway, lots of stories use phrases more than once, and… oops, I'm kind of getting off track here. I'll leave you here to wrest with the Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Ta ta! Oh, by the way, since Venus Saturnalia threatened (well, could have threatened) to subject me to public humiliation, I assign full responsibility of and credit for the word 'Gablonkers'! Thank you, Venus Saturnalia, for enlightening us all!