Author's Note: Okay, I'm sorry I didn't update for so long. I have just one short of fifty reviews! Hooray! But you know, I'm just lazy and I couldn't be bothered before this so… yeah. And you really don't have to pay attention to me. Though it would be nice if you would, seeing as I'm talking to you. You should listen when people talk to you, or they will become annoyed and thwap you. Ah well… on to the story!
Sandry, Tris, Briar and Daja reflect upon the sunlight.
Daja: Have you ever noticed how bright sunlight is? I mean, look at that yellow stuff! *Waves vaguely in the direction of the sun.*
Briar: Why? I mean… it's the sun. We already knew it was there.
Sandry: I wonder what keeps it burning?
Briar: *sarcastically* I'm sure it's some sort of advanced fission-fusion process that we know nothing about. Geeze, it's just a big burning log that rotates around the Earth!
Tris: *uncertainly* So it's a big nuclear powered ball of hydrogen gas? Isn't that what you said? *Tris begins biting her nails.* Golly gosh, I'm so nervous! I'm so glad I can bite my nails like I always do in the books!
Daja: *insistently* But seriously, the sunlight is so bright! And it's also quite shiny.
Sandry: Yay! We have a nuclear power source right in the sky! I can make a pretty thread pattern of it!
Briar: I do not believe you guys. You are so gullible. I bet if I told you the sun was a giant ghost…
Daja: *interrupting Briar* A giant ghost? THE SKY IS A GIANT GHOST?
Briar: No, actually it isn't, and anyway I was talking about the sun, but my point is –
Daja: *screaming* RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THE SKY IS DEAD AND HAUNTING US!
Everybody but Briar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Author: You guys are pathetic. I have you talking about the sun and now you are talking about ghosts. Of the sky. Which is, by the way, a really stupid idea.
Briar: You convince 'em, I can't do it!
Author: Ah. Guys?
Daja, Sandry and Tris: *stop screaming* Yeah?
Author: The sky is not a ghost. Nor is it dead. Now get back to the sun.
Sandry: Fine. I need to do a thread mural thing! Pasco would be so proud!
Tris: What does Pasco have to do with the sun? Or, for that matter, anything else?
Sandry: Well… uh… he… um… he bites his nails! YAY!
Daja: *enthusiastically* Frostpine and I could use the sun as a forge! Since it must be really, really hot if it's a nuclear power plant and all.
Briar: *exasperated*: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? IT'S! A! BURNING! LOG! IN! THE! SKY!
Daja: *condescendingly* Now, I'm sure that's what you believed when you said it, but maybe it's true after all! Maybe the fates were merely using you as the mouthpiece of their thoughts! Which involve fire! Fire is fun!
Tris: And the sun dries up the clouds! Like that song. *Tris begins to sing in a horribly off-key voice. Everyone but Briar quickly joins her. Briar covers his ears.*
Tris, Sandry and Daja: The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the waterspout…
Briar: Okay, so there's this spider. Climbing up a… waterspout? I don't even know what that is! We're in a medieval fantasy setting!
Tris, Sandry and Daja: Out came the rain and washed the spider out!
Briar: Hold on. How did the rain come "out"? And why haven't I heard this song before? *Pauses and reflects.* Thank god for illiterate thieves.
Tris, Sandry and Daja: Out came the sun and dried up all the rain…
Briar: How fast was that? 'Cause in my experience, it takes awhile for the rain to all be dried up. Especially in the sewers.
Tris, Sandry and Daja: *triumphantly* And the itsy spider climbed up the spout again!
Briar: That song made no sense! It had no value! How, may I ask, did that song get in this story?
Tris: Well, it had the sun in it. So it… *Tris sighs dramatically.* Belonged.
Sandry: Anyway, it's a cool song! You must have had a very deprived childhood if you never heard it before.
Briar: I stand by what I said before about the blessings of deprived childhoods.
Daja: But how could you not like "The itsy bitsy spider"? It's a famous childhood classic! Maybe you didn't properly grasp it. Let me sing it again… *Daja prepares to launch into an off-key song.*
Briar: *hurriedly* I don't think that will be necessary. Anyway, what happened to our reflections on the sun?
Sandry: Well, those got boring. So we got on another top-
Tris: No they didn't! The sun never gets boring! The sun stays there all day! It's so fascinating! I could rant for a long time about it! Because the sun is yellow and shiny and bright and hot and –
Daja: *in a mock-excited voice* Really, Tris?
Tris: *enthusiastically* YEAH!
Daja: I actually don't care. Neither do the rest of us. We're on the topic of nursery songs now!
Author: NO! NO! NO! Talk about the sun!
Sandry: But why? The sun is boring. How do you expect us to keep talking about such a boring thing?
Author: Just do it™.
Briar: Great, now our author's selling out. This is the ultimate low. We have nothing to talk about, the omnipotent creator of the story is quoting Nike, and I am the only person with any brains whatsoever here. And I'm not even sure about that.
Sandry: I don't have enough lines. So I'm just going to say something here. Preferably something stupid.
Tris: Like what?
Sandry: I dunno. Something like "Oooh, a lark! That reminds me of Lark! I wonder if I could make thread out of lark feathers! But then… I'd be making thread out of Lark!"
All: *stare at Sandry.*
Daja: I cannot believe that you just said that.
Briar: THE STUPIDITY OF THIS CONVERSATION IS KILLING ME!
Author: Not literally.
Briar: I think I might prefer the literal form.
Author: *shrugging* Suit yourself.
Rotten tomato bombs zoom into the seventh chapter, exploding with a POW! noise and sending little shards of shrapnel everywhere.
Author's Note: Okay… here we go. Reviews and tips are welcome. However, if you don't want to, you don't have to… but then you won't get another cookie! This time they're chocolate, vanilla and strawberry with that icing! You know, those great cookies that seem glazed… *mouth waters.* Ahem. At any rate, I have no rant, having been detached lately from the Tamora Pierce fandom. I shall speedily become reacquainted with it so I can do a respectable rant! Because nobody wants to listen to somebody who has nothing to say! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? I have a lot more I could throw at you! And – oh yes. Um, just review until I post the next chapter!