Disclaimers: Am I the only one who gets sick of these? Kudos to JB, AZ and the cast of crew of CSI. The song is If a Man Answers by Toby Keith. I love this guy, he's awesome!!!
AN: Thank you to Angie, who is the bestest beta in the entire world. Please read and review.
Pairing: Cath/Gil, but it's angsty and well…just read and you tell me. Feedback is always appreciated. Thanks in advance. I guess the rating is PG-13 for alluding to sex.
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Gil Grissom sat on his couch in his living room, nursing a glass of whiskey. Usually he drank wine, just an occasional glass. He'd given up whiskey years ago, but tonight he needed it. He stared at the telephone, trying to decide if he should dial the familiar number. His usually boyishly handsome face was haggard looking. The light in his eyes had been extinguished and only one person could light it again. Catherine.
Four weeks. Had it really been only four weeks since his world shattered at his feet? It seemed like a lifetime ago, yet just yesterday. She said she was afraid and she needed time. He'd given her the time. He thought she'd meant a few days, but now, 28 days later, he wondered if there might be someone else.
You said you needed a little time, a little time to yourself.
I'm starin' down at this telephone wonderin' if there might be someone else.
His mind remembered that night with perfect clarity. He could still feel every touch, the way her soft hands had felt on his bare skin and the way her mouth had aroused him. He remembered the shared looks; looks of wonder and ecstasy. The murmured words, the soft sighs and whimpers. He remembered the way she tasted, the silkiness of her skin and the look in her eyes when her orgasm took her.
They'd made love twice more that night, dozing off, and then waking up, finding each other in the darkness of night. Each time had been amazing and beautiful. He loved her. He knew it wasn't just sex between them, but something so deep and powerful that it shook him to his core. And he knew by the way that she had run from him, she felt it too.
He reached for the phone; he had to know. He couldn't go on like this anymore. But was wondering better than knowing? Suddenly, he wasn't so sure.
If a man answers when I call, I'll just hang up; I won't say anything at all.
If a man answers, I know what I'll do. I'll lie here awake so I don't dream about you.
If a man answers, this time of night at least I'll know somebody's holding you tight
If a man answers, I won't call again and I'll know where I stand while I twist in the wind.
They had tried to pretend that everything was normal at work, but judging from the quiet looks they'd gotten from the others, he knew they were failing miserably. She came into work and did her job and left, speaking to him only if necessary. He'd lost his best friend and the love of his life and he didn't know what do to. He didn't know how to fix it. You can't go back and erase the past, and in truth, he didn't want to. He'd carry the memories of her touch to his grave. That would have to be enough.
He missed her. How could he miss her touch so intensely after just one night? He'd been with women before, but they had never touched his heart and soul. They had never made his spirit soar the way that she had with just one look, one touch, and one word.
He missed his friend. He missed the way she could make him see the whole picture. He missed the way she could brighten his day with just a smile. The way she wouldn't let him hide behind his bugs or his microscope, but made him face the world.
Oh baby I'm just missing you. I'm crazy still in love with you.
I know my heart will break in two… if a man answers.
If a man answers.
He had to make her see how much he loved her and needed her. He promised to give her time. But he couldn't wait anymore. He had to talk to her. He reached for the phone, only to pull his hand back quickly.
I just gotta tell you girl, maybe somehow make you see,
How much I want you to come back to me.
But if a man answers, you'll never know.
He'll let you sleep while I let you go.
He loved her with everything that was within him. The tears slipped down his cheeks unnoticed. And suddenly he was angry. "Damn her!" he shouted and threw his tumbler of whiskey at the wall. He watched, detached as the liquid ran down the cream colored wall of his living room, the glass lying in shattered pieces on the carpet. It looked like his heart felt, broken and lying scattered on the floor. How could she make love to him with such honesty and passion, and then walk away as if it meant nothing. His mind and his heart warred over it. It had to mean something to her; it had to. He couldn't live if it didn't. It meant everything to him; she meant everything to him.
Oh baby I'm just missin' you, I'm crazy still in love with you.
I know my heart will break in two… if a man answers.
If a man answers.
He reached for the phone again. Determination in his eyes. His fingers dialed the number. He held his breath, his stomach in a knot. His palms were slick with sweat. He was frightened, but he had to know. It was now or never. The call connected and he heard someone fumbling on the other end.
If a man answers you'll never know.
If a man answers I'll let you go.
If a man answers this time at night.
If a man answers he's holding you tight.
If a man answers.
A voice low and husky with sleep answered, "Hello?"
If a man answers. If a man answers…