Chapter 4

By Crystal

*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*

I watched as Legolas' back walked farther and farther away.  Nessa looked at me with this sad smile on her face, "He does not remember you, does he?"

I shook my head sadly, "No...  He does not remember me at all..."

"Does it matter though?  Just tell him you love him!  I will all be fine, I am sure somewhere deep in his heart, he still cares and loves you."

"Nessa...  He has...  He has completely forgotten about me.  He is getting married, Nessa.  There is nothing I can do."  Finally, I closed my eyes tightly, not letting the tears come out, all the while clenching my fists.

I felt her hand on my shoulder, comforting me, "You are joking, right?"  I shook my head, "Oh dear...  The rumours are true then..."  I felt her gaze on me, "Are you okay?"

I nodded, "I will be fine...  And Nessa...  I am leaving again soon."
"WHAT?!  You just got here!  You can not just leave without a reason!"

I looked up at her, "I have a reason, Nessa."

Her eyes softened, "It is Legolas, is it not?"  I nodded, "I see...  How about you tell me about your adventure?"  She asked, trying to get off a depressing topic, for that, I was thankful, but my adventure was not any better.  I nodded nonetheless.

"Let's go near the lakes and trees, I want to see it once again before I go."  I smiled.

She smiled knowingly, "The place where Legolas told you his feelings."  I nodded my head up and down until I felt her drag me towards it.

Within minutes, we arrived.  For how long I stood there in silence, I did not know, but I knew that Nessa was still here with me, just comforting me.  I was thankful to have a friend as her.  The grass was gently moving, the wind was softly pushing it, the clear crystal water sat motionless and the trees were enjoying the last hour of the sun.  The sun was setting and that had reminded me so much of that day so many, many years ago when Legolas had shyly told me his feelings of me.

I took a deep breath, "As you know...  My sister got killed by Orcs one day, and I left soon afterwards..."  I could recall those days crystal clear, I could recall what exactly I had done every second of the day, what exactly Legolas told me, his words of comfort, everything...  If I had a chance, I would want to forget it all, but that was the coward's way.  Soon, I told my whole story of the past thousand years.

"Valaina...  You cannot just leave me here!"  I yelled to the sky, enraged that my sister would just leave me like that.  I hated everything, everyone, especially the Orcs.  The Orcs that took my sister's life away like it was nothing precious to them.  But she was everything to me, she was my family, my sister, my mother...  She took care of me my whole life and I could not bear the fact that she passed away.  I just could not.

My legs turned into jello as it could not bear the weight of my body any longer and I fell on my rear, heart broken.  My sister left me without saying goodbye...  She never ever said goodbye.  I clenched my fists and unclenched them several times in rage.  Orcs, the damned Orcs.  They were going to pay, but now...  I felt so drained as I crumbled onto the ground and racked sobs shook my whole body.  Life for me has just gone to hell and back.

Suddenly, I felt a warm arm around my waist, pulling me back against someone's chest.  "Calm down, Mith...  Calm down, I am here now...  Avo nallo... (Don't cry...)"

"Legolas..."  I said weakly.  I felt him turn me around so that my face was in his chest and I started sobbing in his chest.

He rubbed my back comfortingly, "I am here now...  I am here now..."

"Everyone's left me...  Atar...  Atara...  Valaina..."

"I have not left you yet, have I, Mith?"  I shook my head and leaned on his shoulder, trying to find more comfort.  He wrapped his arms tightly around me, giving me warmth and love "Amin sinome, amin il'lembuva lle. (I am here, I will never leave you.)  Amin mela lle..." (I love you)  He whispered softly in my ears, his voice full of love.

"Amin mela lle..."  I whispered quietly, yet brokenly as he held me even tighter and rocked me back and forth.  "Amin mela lle...  Thank you for being here, Legolas...  Thank you."

"Amin il'coie avaena lle.'' (I cannot live without you.)

I smiled lovingly at him and repeated what he just said, "Amin il'coie avaena lle."

* * * * *

"Amin mela lle, Mith... Namaarie, melamin." (I love you, Mith. Farewell, my love.)

I looked at Legolas with teary eyes, I did not want to leave.  But...  I had to, life was getting hard for me in Mirkwood.  Everyday, people would say that they were sorry and they knew how I felt, truth to be told, they did not.  They never had their mother die giving them a child, they never had their father killed by Orcs, same with their sister.

Turning around, I galloped into the wilderness, the grass suddenly unmoving.  I turned around and looked at him while I got farther and farther away, my sight getting very blurry and my cheeks suddenly very wet.  I knew I was crying...  And I could not help it, because I loved him.  He had promised me he would be there forever beside me, but in the end, I left him.  I was a bitch...  "AMIN MELA LLE, LEGOLAS!"  I shouted one last time, until I could no longer see him.

It was too late to go back.  Tears were flowing out of my eyes freely, yet I did not wipe them away. 

* * * * *

For years, I rode around with the same horse, then when it died, I gave it a proper burial and got a new horse, naming each and everyone of them the same name.  Silversnow.  I travelled to the end of the world and back, sometimes, I was so close to Mirkwood I could hear the maidens singing outside by the other side of the lake, but I could never gather up the courage to come back.  I was a coward.

I had always stayed away from dangerous places like Mordor and the Mines or Moria, hoping I would not run into any trouble due to the fact I still did not know how to fight.  Until one day, that was around five hundred years after I had left Mirkwood, I got attacked by a bunch of Orcs.  I was so close to danger, as close as almost getting raped, but someone saved me.

That someone, I would forever be thankful of.  He was my master, or masters.  Two of them, one with the bow and the other with the sword.  Camthalion and Beren Carnesîr.  Twin brothers, both trying to outdo each other, but loved each other dearly.

They were elves, just like I was.  Elves that had ran away from reality just like I had.  They took me in and trained me as a warrior, never treating me as a woman when I was on the battlefields.  But when I was not on the battlefields, I was treated as their sister.  The sister they were so over-protective about.  For four hundred years, I lived with them in happiness, mastering the skill of archery and swordsmanship.  For four hundred years, I did nothing but train with the bow and sword, cook, take turns doing chores, anything I had to do.

Then one day, we were attacked by Orcs.  A whole band of Orcs.  Around a few dozens of them, maybe even more.  But I never got to count how many.  We launched into fighting immediately, sometimes using the bow in far ranges, sometimes using the sword while they were close.

The last Orc fell before me and I rushed to see Camthalion and Beren.  I found them both on the floor, bloodied, ragged, tattered...  "Camthalion...  Beren..."  I whispered brokenly.  Yet again, two more of my family was killed by Orcs.  The cursed Orcs.  "Do not leave me...  I cannot stand it..."

Camthalion smiled at me, "I love you, Mithwen...  You will forever be my little sister, but for now.  Go back to Mirkwood where your prince awaits you...  Go Mithwen."  I shook my head, "Listen...  Go back to Mirkwood, it is not safe.  Soon, a war will break out...  Very soon.  I hear news...  The Ring, the One Ring has been brought back.  Within a hundred years, we will be having a war...  Leave and hide and come back after the war."

"I cannot..."  I said quietly, staring at the both of their faces and my hand filled with blood.

Beren grinned childishly like he always does, "Mith, go back to your prince.  He awaits you, that Prince Legolas.  Go to him.  But before you do, take my bow and take Camthalion's sword.  These are gifts for you before we die..."
"What about my own bow and my own sword?  I cannot keep them!  You have to fight death and stay with me!"

"Mithwen...  Listen to Beren...  Take my sword, it is for you.  Keep it forever and when you come to join us, take it with you so we can have it back...  Lle... ves...ta?" (Do you promise?)  He struggled with the last words.  I nodded and looked over to Beren, he had already closed his eyes peacefully.  I closed my eyes, allowing a single tear drop out.

"Amin nauva. Amin vesta (I will. I promise), Beren...  Camthalion...  Amin mela lle (I love you)."  I dug a grave and put the both of them in, the covered it with soil, then whispered my last words to them, "Quel este, Beren, Camthalion (Rest well, Beren, Camthalion).

I took their bow and sword, and carried it forever, even now, I have it.  My old bow and sword, I buried it along with the two brothers I never had.  It only fit, if they gave me their weapon, I would give them mine.  I left the Orc's corpse there to rot, eaten by raven, worms, I could care less.  Giving one last look at the house, I climbed on my horse's back, freeing Beren's and Camthalion's, and galloped away, once again, far away.  I promised to myself that I would return someday, and indeed, I did.

Since then, no a single smile had crossed my face, not a single emotion has been seen in my eyes, not a single reaction would anyone get from me.  I was always emotionless and calm.  All I did since then was practice my archery and swordsmanship.

* * * * *

Ninety years later, I was still living somewhere in the woods, sometimes going to markets to buy enough food to last for months.  Just dry food that would not rot.  For ninety-three years, I lived like that, slowly waiting for what Camthalion told me of the war.  And it did come.  During my ninety-third year while I was at a Rivendell market buying something, I heard something.  I heard that they had invited all the important person to defeat the Ring...  The One Ring that my brother had talked about.

A group of nine companions, the Fellowship of the Ring.  I heard Legolas' name being called...  He was one of the companions, but they had already left days ago.  It was impossible to catch up to them.  Slowly, I returned to where I had lived for nearly the last century.

* * * * *

I would hear the great deeds 'Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood' did every time I stepped into Rivendell.  All the she-elf would swoon and talk about him, squealing every two seconds, I looked on in disgust, but inwardly, I wished I would be one of them.  I wish I could have a normal life, but that, was impossible.

For two years, I heard the great deeds Legolas had done, but the War of the Ring ended soon after.  After the whole war, I went back to the house.  Camthalion and Beren's house and lived there for a few years before I could gather up the courage to go back to Mirkwood.  I rode my trusty horse, Silversnow all the way from there to Mirkwood, stopping only when necessary...  But when I met him, he had given no signs of recognition.  I was later told by Thranduil that he had forgotten everything.

"That was how it ended, He had forgotten that one hundred years which I was closest to him.  He even forgot I was his friend...  It was my fault though, I should have never left him, though I think that it is a bit late to say that, you think?"  I sighed.  The sky was getting even darker and dinner was about to start soon.  "Anyways Nessa.  This might be the last time I will be seeing you for yet another few centuries.  Take care..."  She sat there, unmoving and unblinking, thinking my story over.  I smiled slightly.  "Namaarie."  Then added quietly, so quiet that no one could have heard it, "Perhaps another few centuries...  But I am sure I will not ever come here again...  I apologize...mellon (my friend)."

"Namaarie...  Mith."

I walked back to the palace and dressed up, wearing a dress.  Something I had not done for a while.  I had decided, I was leaving tomorrow.  Tomorrow morning.  Same as a thousand years ago.  It fit...  did it not?  I sighed as I looked in the mirror.  I had not looked like this in a very long while...  Very long...  My dress was black, contrasting my light hair.  I curled my hair up and wore a necklace.  A necklace Legolas had given me when he had given me his heart.

One half of a leaf...  A silver leaf.  And Legolas had the other half, except...  He was not wearing it.

It would be my first time in a thousand years wearing something this beautiful, and it would be my last time...  I waited here, waiting for anyone to escort me down to dinner.  Within minutes, someone knocked on the door.  And there stood Legolas.  "Legolas?  Are you not going to be escorting Lady Elanor?"

He shook his head, "No, I am not getting married to her."

"Oh."

Dinner flew fast, everyone was talking to me and I felt strangely like a trapped animal.  I wanted to run away from the dining hall, it was too crowded and I had trouble breathing.  Legolas sensed my uneasiness and had told Thranduil that he would escort me back to my room.  While leaving the dining hall, I could hear Thranduil's announcement that Legolas was not getting married to Lady Elanor and I could hear Lady Elanor's enraged screams...

I was happy and sad at the same time.  Happy that Legolas was not getting married to that she-elf, but sad that he was not about to get married.  I love him and all, but he did not love me back, and he deserved happiness... 

We arrived to my room pretty fast, he said a farewell.  And I smiled, one true smile.  He seemed surprised.  "Thank you for escorting me, Legolas.  I bid you good night."

"You too Lady Mithwen...  Sweet dreams."  I will...  I nodded, "I cannot seem to place my finger on it, but the necklace you are wearing seem deathly familiar."

"Oh..."  I replied.

He nodded, "Good night."

"Night..."  I closed the door quietly, then closed my eyes.  Too many tears for my liking...  Too many tears shed, too much emotions shown...  I was not going to let myself cry any longer.

I placed the necklace in a box and began writing a letter.  A letter they would find hopefully, just not too soon.  Ink flowed on the paper, pouring my heart out.  I single tear dropped and I sighed in frustration.  I could not help it though.  I was leaving my love behind once again.  Last time, I had brought the necklace with me, hoping I would see him once again.  This time, I was going to leave it.  He should give it to the she-elf he loved...  I was just his past, there is nothing between us...  Anymore.

I place the necklace on top of the letter, then started packing before falling asleep, my eyes opened.

* * * * *

I closed my eyes, remembering everything once again...

"Manke naa lle autien?" (Where are you going?) I heard Legolas ask me. It was early in the morning. The sun has not even risen and the sky was still dark and I was already getting my horse ready.

"Away from here... For a while." I answered.

I saw him frown, "I know that you have been through a lot... But will you return?" I nodded my head, smiling at him. He smiled back, "Lle vesta?" (Do you promise?)

I nodded again, smiling, "Uma, mellon." (Yes, my friend.)

Suddenly, without warning, he pulled me into a tight hug and touched my ears lovingly. I did not mind, for I knew then that I had loved him... "Amin mela lle", (I love you) I whispered quietly to him.

"Amin mela lle, Mith... Namaarie, melamin." (I love you, Mith. Farewell, my love.)

I smiled.  I was such a fool at the beginning.  A fool.  A stupid fool.  Mithwen, you are a fool.  I smiled through my tears as I rode on my horse and looked back one last time.  This would be the last time I ever saw Mirkwood, until the end of my days...  Until my heart dies with me.  I could already feel it dying...  A thousand years I have gone, and all those years...  It was useless.

"Amin mela lle, Legolas Greenleaf.  Amin mela lle...  Namaarie... Ten'oio..."  (I love you, Legolas Greenleaf.  I love you...  Farewell...  Forever...)  I whispered, then, "Go, Silversnow!"  Silversnow ran as fast as the wind, bringing me from Mirkwood...  Forever...

rachel – Thanks a lot!  How old am I?  I'm 16 =p

Alias – Thanks, spelling mistakes?  Hmm...

bellezza – Thanks!

Cute-Kitty – Mary-Sue (Urebriviel's review: A Mary Sue is a term frequently used to display a certain genre of fan fiction.  Mary Sues are mostly the alter ego of the author, they have fancy names (one that the author would love to have or has already), are beautiful/exotic, have many talents and all in all the main character of a story ALWAYS falls in love with.  Whee!  Go Legolas and Mithwen!

Author's Notes: I'll try to update as much as I can...  But I have two french essays due this week =p  Oh god.