Chapter Five – Sleeping With the Enemy

The sunlight poured through the windows of the crypt like orange juice and Dawn blearily opened her eyes at the glow. She snuggled into the duvet a little more to keep out the chill of the morning air and frowned at the taste in her mouth. Her tongue felt like carpet and her head was pounding like no migraine she had ever known. She glanced at the floor and saw her clothes strewn around and what looked like dozens of empty bottles; she vaguely remembered her and Spike going on a beer run after the whisky had dried up. She smiled to herself, she was sure she wasn't the first fifteen year old to get wasted but it was certainly a moment worth celebrating. She shifted in the bed, her legs felt like jelly and she was sore all over, she lifted her arms out from beneath the covers and inspected them closely. There were some light bruises around her wrists and a few others on the tops of her arms, she rubbed at them instinctively, they didn't sting but they were aching. Her legs were aching too, and not in a gym way but in a completely new way. It was then that she realised she was completely naked, she wasn't even wearing underwear. She looked across and saw Spike, his eyes were closed and he looked so peaceful, he looked dead which freaked her out at first until she watched him for a while, entranced by his lack of breath, the lack of a rise and fall in his chest and he slept peacefully. She laughed quietly to herself and lay back and let the events of the night before wash over her, the drinking and the music and the talking and the kissing and the… Oh my God. She looked around the room for any sign of her bra and pants, Spike stirred beside her and drowsily opened his eyes.

"Mornin' Nibblet," he smiled, stroking a hand down her arm. Dawn looked blankly at him before sliding out of bed and wriggling into her pants and jeans followed by her bra and t-shirt.

"Spike, what… I mean, did we? Oh my God, this is all my fault. God, Buffy, poor Buffy, what am I supposed to tell her? I can't believe I did this," babbled Dawn as she searched the floor for her shoes.

"Dawn, what's wrong, luv? You were all for it last night, I asked if you were sure," frowned Spike, sitting up to face her.

"Once I was completely drunk. God, Spike, did you even think?"

"Whoa, when did this become all my fault? You weren't exactly putting up the 'no entry' barriers last night. Maybe it shouldn't have happened but I wasn't the only one there,"

"I know that but… you're supposed to be in love with my sister and this is what happens?"

"Don't even start acting the innocent. You were more than happy to play the bad girl last night and you were loving it, pet," growled Spike, jumping out of bed and pulling on his trousers.

"Shut up, Spike. I can't believe I let this happen, I can't believe I let you get me drunk! I can't believe I did this to Buffy,"

"You were the on who wanted to rebel, luv. You wanted to get drunk and you wanted this… Things between me and Buffy were over a long time ago, 'bit. Don't go feelin' all bad for her 'cause you wanted to have a good time," he said, waving his arm at the bed as if indicating what he meant by "good time".

"Yeah, but it wasn't like that. You still love her," said Dawn, wiping a stray tear away from her cheek. She wasn't going to let Spike see her cry, at least not over him, over this. She was stronger than that.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say, Nibblet. I'm really sorry if I've hurt you; I can't say anything else,"

"What do you want me to say, Spike? I feel like shit, I feel like I've totally betrayed Buffy. How could I do this to her? How could you do this to her? You're supposed to love her and this is how you show it?"

"How has this come back to me again?" shouted Spike. "Yes, I love Buffy but I love you too, Dawn. Buffy's been treating me like crap for the past month and I'm supposed to just put up with it? To carry on feeling the way I feel for nothing? How do you think this is affecting me? To see her everyday and know she doesn't care… but then I see you and you do care and we fit so well and I… What's wrong with that?"

"Spike, I…" started Dawn, she was genuinely touched by his impassioned plea but the fact was she had slept with Spike when she knew that he and her sister had a past, and possibly a present if Buffy's behaviour was anything to go by, was too much. Spike reached out and stroked Dawn's arm, holding on to her hand. She let him stay there for a while but logic took over and she knew that there were things that needed to be done, and things that needed to be forgotten. She shook his arm off hers and smoothed down her hair.

"What? Tell me," he pleaded.

"It's nothing. Forget it Spike. I can't do this right now, I have to get home. I can't even think about what I'm supposed to say to Buffy,"

"How about nothing? Look, pet, just stay a bit longer and we'll talk about this,"

"I've got nothing to say and I have to get back," said Dawn, walking to the stone doors of the crypt. Spike ran over to stop her leaving but she flung them open letting the sunlight pour in and fill the room. He stopped in his tracks and jumped out of the way of the light, Dawn looked back at him. "I wouldn't follow me if I were you,"

"Dawn, don't go," he said softly. Dawn turned around in the doorway and looked at him, her heart felt as if it was going to explode. "Stay here with me, just for a little while longer, we can talk about things,"

"I'm sorry, Spike. What's going to happen if I stay? I can't risk hurting Buffy anymore than I already have, I can't do that to her. No matter what you say," she said her resolve stiffening as she spoke the words aloud. She could not hurt Buffy, she was her sister, she got hurt enough out in the real world every night, she didn't need to be hurt at home as well.

Spike watched her walk slowly away, she looked back every so often but her face was set with anger and confusion. Her eyes were stinging with sunlight and tears but she knew that she had to walk away now or she might never leave, she couldn't believe how happy she had been to wake up with Spike and how upset she was now that it was over before it had even begun. Spike kicked the door shut and curled into the only dark corner of the room; he couldn't help but think about the pain this would cause Buffy if she ever found out. He knew that Dawn would never say anything but it still worried him; it seemed that both Summers' women had a thing for vampires, living dead groupies, what a world. He sighed loudly, he had never meant to hurt the Little Bit, Dawn had always said that Spike would never harm her but it had obviously been a lie. Who'd have thought that he could hurt her with the chip still intact? Who'd have thought he could ever be able to hurt her?