Chapter Six – Keep Me a Secret

Dawn had not counted on heading home so early; in fact, she hadn't counted on a lot of things that had happened. She hoped that someone was up to let her in, she'd forgotten her house keys after she had stormed out. As she walked through the cold, crisp air of the morning, she started to feel guilty for the things she had said to Spike. She had just been upset and confused and didn't mean any of the things she had said; it had just been easier to blame him than entertain her own guilt. She didn't want to regret it, it had been wonderful, Spike had been so gentle the first time and so rough the second. Dawn instinctively rubbed at her bruises as she through of what happened. She didn't want to regret it but how could she now when it would affect Buffy so badly if she knew. She just had to try and forget it all, ignore the thought of Spike's touch and the echo of their words to each other that were flying around in her mind. Dawn swallowed what was left of her pride and rang the doorbell of her house.

"You're back early," said Buffy as she opened the door. Dawn stepped inside and quickly took off her shoes, Buffy stood in her pyjamas waiting for some kind of explanation.

"My feet are killing me," mumbled Dawn before standing up to face Buffy. "Debbie's Mum had work and I hadn't had much sleep so I thought I'd come home with her,"

"Oh right, good time?"

"It was okay. Buffy, thank you for being so cool about last night. You could've totally freaked out on the phone but you didn't, you trusted me and I really appreciate it," smiled Dawn, giving Buffy a brief hug which she seemed to really appreciate.

"Shall I make us some toast?" asked Buffy, Dawn nodded before excusing herself to get changed out of yesterday's clothes. Buffy slid four slices of bread into the toaster and grabbed the butter and jam from the fridge. Her mind was racing, had she smelt alcohol and cigarette smoke on Dawn or was that just from hanging out with Spike? Dawn walked into the kitchen and sat at the breakfast counter.

"How come you're up so early on a Saturday anyway?" she asked.

"I couldn't sleep. I was worried you weren't coming back or something," shrugged Buffy, removing the toast from the toaster and putting it on a plate before sitting at the counter herself. Dawn didn't say anything; she had no reply because she had considered not coming back. The sisters ate their breakfast in silence and after they were finished, Dawn cleared everything away while Buffy made coffee.

"I miss tea," announced Dawn, sipping at her hot, sweet coffee. "I haven't had tea since Giles left, that was ages ago,"

"Yeah," nodded Buffy in agreement. "So, what did you and Debbie get up to last night?"

"Nothing much really. We watched a bit of TV and talked about boys. That kind of thing," she shrugged.

"What time did Spike take you over there?" asked Buffy slyly, trying to avoid Dawn's glare. Dawn hesitated a while before answering.

"Not long after you called really, we were training for a bit,"

"He must've worked you pretty hard, you're covered in bruises," said Buffy, pointing at Dawn's wrists and forearms. Dawn looked down and groaned inwardly, she should not have put a t-shirt on.

"We were just mucking about. He was teaching me how to get out of a pin," said Dawn, rubbing at the bruises. "He didn't even hurt me; I must bruise really easily,"

"You're neck looks red, did he bruise you there too?" asked Buffy, Dawn's hands immediately flew to her throat as she remembered what she had said, begging Spike to bite her, to taste her. She shook her head and remained silent. "Dawn, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just a bit tired, I think I need a lie down," babbled Dawn before dashing out of the room and hiding in her bedroom; locking the door and collapsing on her bed. She fell asleep soon after she had closed her eyes.

Buffy sat in the kitchen, her mind filling with images of Dawn and the mysterious Debbie partying the night away, unsupervised. She would have preferred her to spend the night with Spike; at least she'd be safe that way – from teenage boys as well as vampires and demons. Buffy thought back to the first night she never came home, she spent the night with Angel, all night. Buffy was relieved at the thought that even if Dawn stayed with Spike, nothing would happen. Spike was still in love with her and Dawn had never even mentioned boys or love or anything like that. Maybe that was why she got so freaked out about the neck, what if it was a hickey or something and Dawn didn't want Buffy to know. Buffy walked up the stairs and knocked on Dawn's bedroom door, after a few minutes of groaning and stumbling around, it swung open and Dawn collapsed back onto the bed.

"Dawn, I just wanted to talk to you," smiled Buffy, sitting on the edge of Dawn's bed. Dawn turned over to face her sister, to face the lecture. "I just want you to know that you never have to keep anything from me, I know that you're old enough to go off and do your own thing now. All I mean is that if anything happens that you think I'll be mad at you about, then don't be worried because I won't be… that came out weird. Okay, if anything ever happens I just want you to tell me and if you can't tell me then at least tell Will. I don't want you bottling things up because you're afraid of how I'll react, okay?"

"Okay," mumbled Dawn. Like she could just tell Buffy what happened last night, just inform her that the guy who is supposed to be madly in love with her had sex with her little sister. That was a first class ticket to disownment and probably a big old stake for Spike.

"So you've got nothing to tell me then? No big thing from last night or anything?" asked Buffy, trying hard not to push but desperate to know what was going on. Dawn rolled her eyes, rolled over and ignored her. "Only if you're sure,"

"Are we done? I really need some sleep," snapped Dawn, Buffy sighed and left the room, closing the door behind her. She wasn't stupid, Dawn was hiding something from her and she knew that the only person who was likely to know anything was someone she didn't really feel like seeing. Buffy pulled some clothes on that had been lying around the floor and grabbed her coat on her way out of the front door. She didn't bother to leave a message for Dawn or Willow; they'd probably still be asleep by the time she got back.

Spike had climbed back into bed after Dawn was left and when he heard the crypt doors open, a huge chunk of him hoped that she had come back to finish their conversation. He sat up in bed and for the first time in a while, he wasn't happy to see Buffy, she walked across the room and stood at the side of the bed.

"To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?" he asked, pulling the covers aside. He had gone back to bed in his trousers so Buffy was saved the sight of Spike naked, something she had not been ready to see again.

"Nothing, I was just worried about Dawn. She's all weird about last night and she won't talk to me. Do you know what happened?"

"How would I know what happened? I wasn't there; she was at that mate's house, wasn't she? That's where I left her last night, I had nothing to do with it," he babbled, pulling on a black shirt and buttoning up the front.

"Spike, I was only asking if she had talked to you about anything. She's just being so quiet and weird, it seems like boy trouble but she hasn't mentioned any boyfriend," sighed Buffy.

"Like she'd tell you anything. She hates the way you treat her like a kid, luv, so why would she tell you anything important when we all know how you'd react?"

"But I told her that I'd be fine with it and she still froze me out. I don't know what to do; I just want to be there for her,"

"Then stop being her Mum and be her sister, that's all she needs. Look, Buffy, I don't know anything about it so would you mind pissing off?"

"Will you come back with me and talk to her? I know she'd talk to you about it," smiled Buffy. Spike sighed and groaned, he felt like tearing his hair out.

"I don't think she will, pet. She doesn't talk to me much anymore; we usually just train and stuff. No meaningful chats or anything," he said quietly.

"Please come back with me. She really would talk to you, much more than she'd talk to me anyway," sighed Buffy. "I just want her to talk to someone, I hate knowing that she's hiding something,"

"Fine, let me grab my blanket,"