Chapter Eight – After Dark

Dawn had waited until Buffy had returned from patrolling before deciding to sneak out of the house. She couldn't risk showing up at Spike's if Buffy was there, she'd probably be grounded for the rest of her life. She was wearing her best jeans and a new t-shirt that Buffy had bought for her that afternoon, Dawn didn't care if it was a conciliation present, it was still a nice t-shirt and she knew Spike would like it. It was deep red with a print on the front of a flaming skull and crossbones, underneath which it said "Punk Princess". She had tied her hair back and stole some of Buffy's lipstick, she was ready to go out and see him. She wasn't out to steal him away from Buffy although the thought had crossed her mind, she just wanted to talk to him about how she was feeling and see if he was feeling it too. The outfit and make-up was just a bonus.

She sneaked down the stairs and pocketed her house keys before quietly opening the back door and sliding out of the house and onto the street. It was well past midnight and it was silent, Dawn loved walking around this late at night, she felt as if she were the only person in Sunnydale. She felt as if she owned the whole town. It didn't take her long to reach the graveyard, or if it did it certainly hadn't felt like it. She knocked once on the stone doors before pushing them open, Spike was wandering around the room talking to himself and drinking from a wine bottle. He stopped when he saw her walk into the room.

"Didn't think I'd be seeing you again today," he said, drinking a little more. "But I suppose it is tomorrow judging by the time. Does big sis know you're out so late, pet?"

"No, I came here on my own," said Dawn. Now she was standing before him, on his territory; she had lost all thoughts and feelings. She had no idea what she was doing there and she felt like she was drowning.

"Well, well, look at you. One Clash record and you're converted," he grinned, pointing at her t-shirt. Dawn looked down and let out a laugh.

"I thought you'd like it, I thought about you when I put it on," she said, Spike shot her a look that told her he knew everything. He knew why she was here and he certainly knew how she was feeling.

"So, what's it to be, 'bit? Booze, music or more bloody arguments?" he asked, offering her the bottle of wine. She took it and drank a huge mouthful, Dutch courage and all that she reasoned.

"I just wanted to tell you…" she started. "I'm not really sure, actually. I just wanted to see you, I guess,"

"Excellent; it's always nice to have a visitor. Would you like a glass?" he grinned, his accent imitating Giles to perfection. Dawn nodded and laughed, her nerves dissipating as she walked across the room and jumped up onto "their" tomb. He joined her, placing a large glass of red wine in front of her while continuing to drink out of the bottle himself. "So, are you gonna tell me why you're really here or are we gonna play this game all night?"

"I just didn't know what to do. Buffy was talking about you and asking all these questions and I just got so angry, like she wasn't allowed to talk about you like that anymore. I mean, she had her chance and she blew it, right? I think I was just jealous and I didn't like it at all,"

"You were jealous of Buffy? God, what the hell for?"

"Because you love her and not me, Spike," sighed Dawn, downing half her wine in one mouthful, Spike frowned at her and refilled the glass. "I don't mean I love you or anything but I'm just so confused and I didn't know what else to do,"

"So you came over here for what, Nibblet? Another roll in the sack? Or to ask me to choose you over her?" said Spike quietly, talking into his bottle rather than to her. He couldn't look at her; he couldn't look at her big brown eyes.

"I don't know, I guess I just wanted to know what you were thinking after yesterday."

"I was thinking that we had a really good time and I don't regret a second of it. And that when I told you I loved you last night, I meant it,"

"Really?" asked Dawn, her eyes lighting up and staring intently at Spike. Spike remained silent, Dawn's excitement faded and she drank her entire glass of wine in one go. Spike reached out and took her hand in his, stroking at her palm and her wrists, her poor bruised wrists.

"I love you, Nibblet. I do, but this thing with Buffy. I know you don't wanna hear it but I do still have feelings for her. Would you want to be in love with someone if you knew they weren't one hundred percent in love with you?"

"I'm not in love with you, Spike. I just… I just wanted to be with you, that's all," said Dawn, swallowing her hurt and tears down.

"Dawn, you're fifteen years old. Do you know how many times you're gonna fall in love? You don't want to be with me, I'm mean and I drink too much and I'm way too old for you,"

"Don't talk to me like I'm a fucking child, Spike," Dawn hissed heatedly. Spike looked up at her; it was that same wildness he had seen in her the night before. That same feral nature that had convinced him that there was a chance they could be together, they were the same. Both untamed and stormy but trapped in a body that can't let them show it, her age and his chip were both cages for the animal that was in both of them.

"I'm sorry, pet. I didn't mean to, I just don't know what to do. I just can't even think about how Buffy would react if things between us became serious,"

"She went though all of this with Angel, why is it so different for me?"

"Because she sees you as her little sister and the idea of her kid sister screwing the big bad just isn't something she can entertain,"

"Tough shit," said Dawn, pushing the glass onto the floor and moving forward across the top of the tomb until she was practically sitting on Spike's knee. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him, starting off slow but getting harder and hungrier as he kissed her back. They knew what they were doing but they couldn't stop themselves; she wanted him and he wanted her and even though the risk was great and there was way too much to lose, they still couldn't stop. It was at that moment that Dawn knew she had won, how could Spike continue to want Buffy when things with her could be so much better?

Spike carried on kissing Dawn, his hands feeling her soft smooth skin beneath her t-shirt and all thoughts of Buffy were lost again, what was it all supposed to mean? Was he over her or was it just because Dawn was new and different and so much like him? There was nothing he wanted more than to be kissing her, at one time it would have been all he could do to not think of Buffy but now, it was all Dawn. Everything was for Dawn and he knew that he'd been wasting his energy on the wrong sister; Buffy was drawn to darkness because she was the Slayer, Dawn was darkness. There was a lot hidden away in this girl and Spike wanted it all for himself, Dawn was his. Nothing could change that now, not Buffy, not anyone.