Max stood on his balcony and stared into his hotel suite. He was typing furiously into his laptop. He stopped and pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. Max exhaled deeply and with that, she finally released the tears that had been locked away for so long. She was certain the hard rain and darkness cloaked her form on his balcony. She was, as usual these days, dressed in all black. What she wanted, what she needed lay only a few feet from her, behind the glass window. Why couldn't she just let herself have him? Why was she destined to hurt her whole life? She let the weight of these questions rest on her shoulders and almost collapsed under the pressure. She had not fooled herself in these 6 lonely years. She had missed him from the moment her sent her away. She wished she could turn back time. If only she had known about Zack. Ah, Zack, she thought painfully. She bore the pain of his death as sharply as if it had happened yesterday.
Max turned away from the window and prepared to scale down the building in one fluid swoop. She almost fell when she heard Alec's voice.
"Why are you doing this Max?"
She turned to face him. He hadn't changed as he sat on the edge of the roof above her and smirked. He too wore the standard issue uniform of cat burglars. He hopped down without a sound and stood facing her.
"Alec?" She asked unbelievingly.
He was startled by her confusion. He took a long look at her and noticed her tears. Something was amiss.
"Yeah Max, of course." He smiled with concern in his eyes.
Max smiled at him, trying to hide her exhaustion. She extended her gloved hand and he reached with his own and held her hand for a long moment. They both understood that didn't have the means to comfort each other with words. Finally, Max gave Alec's hand a gentle squeeze and let go.
"Don't go yet." He said softly.
"If I don't leave here, I'll lose it Alec. I'm barely holding on as it is."
"Why don't you just stay with him Max, he loves you." Alec said in frustration.
Max's heart skipped a beat at Alec's words, but truly it was not a surprise to her now, not after learning the truth about their parting six years ago. If only she hadn't run so far from who she was. What kind of testament was that? She had been wounded by him, and became everything he despised in the passing years. She knew he could never really love her, not now.
As if Alec had heard her thoughts, he said "He will forgive you."
Max looked up into Alec's clear eyes suddenly. She had not expected that from him. He had changed. She wondered if Logan had rubbed off him.
She didn't say another word but smiled kindly at him, then dove off the railing of the balcony into the blackness of the night below. Alec ran his hands through his hair in frustration then turned to enter the room. He was startled to turn and see Logan staring at him from behind the glass. Alec slowly opened the glass doors and let himself in. He watched Logan make his way over to the door. Alec leaned back against the closed doors and sighed.
"She's a mess Logan."
"If I don't get to her here in Paris, she'll slip through my fingers again and it will be another six years before I catch a glimpse of her!" Logan wheeled strongly towards his laptop, then suddenly jerked one wheel so that he spun neatly to face Alec again. "Alec, do you think she really wants to run away from me?" He asked in a low grumble.
Alec stood and paced. This was not a subject he wanted to discuss. His own romantic entanglements had ended with death and with an on-again/off-again situation with Asha that made him feel like he was losing his mind.
"I don't know." Was all he could come up with. He felt at least he had been truthful.
"Me neither." Logan said in a voice that sounded like defeat.
With that, Alec stood up and clapped his friend on the shoulder and then let himself into the adjoining room. "I gotta crash man, no shark DNA in my cocktail."
Logan turned slowly and watched Alec walk away. He had made reference to his DNA often, just as Max had. He wondered if they ever had a moment when they didn't think of themselves as government engineered assassins. What a freak show that place was, he thought. Taking actual human beings, well mostly, and trying to crush the humanity out of them. Well, it certainly backfired, he thought wryly.
Two weeks later (back in Seattle at Logan's Apartment)
It was well after midnight when Logan heard the window in the living room open softly. He held his breath. It was so familiar. It could only be her He wheeled slowly through the hall and turned toward the darkened living room. His heart beat loudly in his chest as he watched his cat burglar slip through the pane. She spotted him immediately and a small smile flashed on her face before she corrected it.
"Logan, I'm sorry to be here, like this." She stood perfectly still, displaying none of the old Max's nervous energy that kept her constantly in motion.
"Max, I am so glad you're here." He wheeled over to her and reached for her. He didn't care if she rejected him; he just wanted her to know that he wanted her.
She turned and walked away from his outstretched palm to the sofa and sat down. He dropped his hand into his lap, and then followed her.
When he had stopped and set the brakes on his chair, she began.
"Logan, let's end this."
If someone had punched him in the chest, he would have felt less pain.
"What do you mean, what do we even have that we need to end?" He said angrily.
"No, I mean, stop your search for me." She said in an even tone.
He was surprised she had learned of his inquiries.
"I just wanted to see you again" he said.
"You can't Logan. I.. ." She faltered and then regained her composure. "I can't let myself be tied to anything, least of all you." She finished strongly.
"Why least of all me? I can take care of myself you know." He matched her angry tone with his.
Max rose from the sofa and began to pace. Logan smiled inwardly that Max's mannerisms hadn't changed that much.
"Logan, not because you can't take care of yourself. Damn you, why do you always go there."
"I don't know Max, maybe because I could be with you now if I could run with you." He finished without betraying the lump stuck in his throat. She spun and stared at him with cold eyes.
"I don't have time for your issues Logan."
He was impressed at her fortitude. She would not be easy to crack, but by God, he was not letting her go again without hearing from the real Max, his Max.
"My issues, you're the one that thinks she's unworthy of love because she was conceived in a test tube." He fired back.
"Calling me a test tube baby is the understatement of the millennium." She retorted hotly.
"Yeah, maybe so, but why does it matter?" He finished unable to look at her.
Max turned and looked out the window. "It's raining." She said quietly, and then added "I've missed Seattle."
Logan wheeled to her and touched her hand. She flinched but did not pull away. "Let's go for a walk." He asked.
She looked at him and smiled. "Logan, I can't be seen with you."
"I'm not in danger."
"Everyone I touch is in danger. Don't you get it. I did this--to myself. I damned myself to hell on purpose when you . . . when we." She chocked back a sob. Through tears, she finished, "Don't you see Logan, I made this choice six years ago, and it cannot be undone, no matter what."
"No matter?" He begged her to finish.
"No matter how much I wish it were different." And with that, she collapsed on her knees and covered her face with her gloved hands. Logan set the brakes quickly and slid out of his wheelchair and gathered her in his arms. She let him hold her for a long while until the sobs finally ceased and were replaced by even breathing. She pushed away from his chest and looked into his blue eyes.
"Max, it's going to be okay."
She knew he wanted that to be true, but it wasn't. Not even the great Eyes Only could deal with all of the people that were on her tail. In her six years, she had pulled a lot of jobs and left a wake of people wanting her dead. Even now, she was gambling with his life, and she knew she had no right to do that.
"Does it matter to you at all what I want?" He asked still staring at her.
"What do you want?" She asked resigned.
He realized he couldn't give voice to all that he wanted. He wanted things to be different. Everything to be different. He didn't want Max to from Manticore. He didn't want to be stuck in a wheelchair. He wanted to go with her if she had to go.
"I want you to be with me" he sighed and looked down at his legs and fought back the frustration building in his chest.
Max gently touched his cheek and smiled. "I love you. I always have."
Max rose slowly and headed for the window. She threw one leg over the sill and then turned to look one last time upon the only man she ever loved. His blue eyes were unwavering in his concentration on her.
"Max, don't go." He said.
"I have to go." She replied and then turned toward the dark rainy sky. She inhaled deeply and then shuddered. She raised both her arms and stood in the window frame and then let go and dove off the side of the building. Logan quickly returned to his chair and made his way to the window. He looked down but there was no sign of her. He was about to turn away when he caught a shadow on an adjacent rooftop. It was Max and she was running at full speed and then leapt off the roof onto the next building at least 60 feet away. He caught her silhouette in the moonlight and wondered if that would be the last he ever saw of her.
A week later: (Logan's apartment)
Logan sat typing at his desk when he heard the sounds of footsteps approaching. He knew it was Alec even before the man spoke.
"Hey Alec" he called out.
"Hey yourself." Alec answered while settling himself into the computer chair opposite Logan.
"You haven't heard anything?" Logan asked trying not to sound too anxious.
"No man, sorry." Alec sat with his elbows on his knees looking at the floor.
"I just don't get why she couldn't try to come back here. I mean, she knows we would have done everything to keep her safe from whoever." Logan trailed off.
"Nah, I don't think that was why." Alec said while gazing out the window at the cloudy Seattle day.
Logan realized Alec was about to reveal some insight he had yet to learn about Max. He sat silently and waited for his friend to go on.
"She hates herself for who she is, what she became after you guys broke up." Alec said softly still looking away from Logan.
"But, I could of. ." Logan realized he had no words to take away that pain.
"She doesn't feel like she belongs anywhere. I can't say I don't know how that feels." Alec said as he returned his gaze to Logan. "Knowing why we were brought into this world, what we were made for, that's tough to get over, even all these years later."
"Your DNA does not determine who you are." Logan spoke to Alec, but wished he could reach Max with that message.
"Doesn't it though?" Alec asked of Logan and then got up and walked to the window, keeping his back to his friend. He couldn't tell him that he had seen Max that night; that she had found him to say goodbye. She made him promise to keep Logan safe and to watch his own back. He knew at that very moment that Max, the old Max was gone and whatever flickers they had seen of her in Paris would be put out forever. Logan would never see Max again, and even if he managed to catch a glimpse of her someday, he would never recognize her. She was going under and there was nothing Alec could do to save her. Whatever concrete facade she erected for herself was firmly in place now, and Max was gone.