London, England
"My God…" I blurted, thinking I was going to choke on my dinner. "I know you're right, but I'm terrified and we haven't actually done anything yet."
Across the table, Tony nodded. "It's not easy for me either, though I know we've both dreamed about putting a bullet in her skull. But the more we think about this … the more real it becomes."
"Confronting Nina?" I closed my eyes for a moment as if it would all be a dream. "She'll kill me, Tony."
"Not on my watch," Michael replied.
I took a long, deep breath and surveyed the table. With the exceptions of Michael, Tony, and Oliver – who was absolutely intractable and largely ambivalent – everybody looked just as apprehensive as I was. We had a number of objectives now that certain truths about our international excursion had been revealed. Recover the DOD key files. Prove that Nina Myers murdered Ryan Chappelle. Prevent the destruction of the Counterterrorism Center. And stop Nina Myers. Sure enough, all those roads lead right to Nina. That didn't mean I had to like the idea of taking her on.
"So what?" Weiss said, breaking the silence. "We just walk up to her and shoot her?"
"We've got two choices." Everyone momentarily jumped at the sound of Oliver's level voice. "One is to wait until she makes her trade for the key files, and ambush that, recovering the files and hopefully scrambling any destruction of the CC. However, that means she most likely escapes, and proof for your District Director's murder goes with her."
"What's the second choice?"
"We take her hostage and interrogate her until she reveals the location of the key files, confesses to the murder, and her plan collapses."
"Is there a third choice?"
Lex: "Can we even talk about this here?"
Oliver looked nonplussed, glaring at Weiss, who cowered in his seat. No wonder we were the only people within a three table radius of ourselves. Finally, Tony put down his dinner fork and looked in Oliver's direction. "You know the chances of us getting our hands on her are very rare, Oliver."
"That's what I'm counting on."
Leticia put up a hand. "All right, I'm lost."
"We've established that her motive for this is to take out counter-terrorism agencies and their agents, as many as possible. We've established that she has no great love for any of you, especially not you," Oliver continued, glancing at me and Tony. "If she knows who you are, she might attempt to reveal herself in order to take you out, at which point we seize on the moment. She also will likely confess to the murder of Ryan Chappelle with little provocation to one of you, as she's probably proud of it and would love to use it against you. Psychologically, she has a number of weaknesses in your custody."
"And physically, she can rip my throat out," I insisted. "Besides, we don't even know where she is, and we may not even have that kind of manpower."
"All I need is a window of time, Agent Frederick, and I'll make it happen." Oliver focused his attention on me, intense as it was. "You said she didn't recognize you?"
"If she did, she didn't indicate as such." I was realizing this was a viable if difficult option. "Even if we get her, we'll need a more secure detention facility than our hotel room, and more manpower than we've got. She is a threat of the highest class and we can't just package her up."
"I've got that covered," Michael said from beside me, and I turned to look at him. "CIB has some incredibly secure facilities. I also work with Vaughan Rice, ex-Army, and believe me he's more than enough force. Between him, myself, Oliver and Tony, we can take her down. I can call ahead and have backup and a facility standing by."
Oliver nodded. "Make the call."
"I'll do that tonight."
Leticia and I were looking at each other, severely creeped out. "Wait," she said, "so when do you plan on doing this?"
"Tomorrow," Tony cut in. "We're supposed to be home in three days. We don't have a choice."
I swallowed, checking my watch, which now read just after nine. I could see it all playing out: Michael, Tony, Oliver and Vaughan on a strike team to kidnap Nina. Myself, Leticia and Weiss probably responsible for the interrogation. Banking on her absence throwing her plan into chaos. Lex probably having to commit some crimes. This was demanding, and I didn't know if I could follow through, but Tony was right, we didn't have a choice. I pushed back from the table.
"I want this cleared through Jack first," I announced. "I'm going to my room."
A glance in Leticia's direction confirmed that my good friend was following me. Together, we exited the restaurant and took the elevator to our floor.
"How can you do this?" she was asking me. "I've never…"
"Me either. I've done a lot, Jack believes in me … but nothing like this." I rolled up my sleeve and showed her a scar on my wrist. "I got that during physical training. Nina helped Jack to train me for active duty. She knows me and I expect she'll use that against me. But what can you do?"
She just exhaled. "This is nuts."
"Welcome to my world," I said as we unlocked the door. "I've got to read up on interrogative procedure, stuff like that. I'd suggest that you learn to use my gun." At her stare, I continued, "Anything could happen and I want you to be safe."
"I'm having a long talk with Vaughn," she muttered, closing the door behind her.
I plugged in my laptop and clicked on the stereo, selecting an appropriate song that made her smile. Glad there was some moment of joy in our questionable double existence.
*I don't wanna be no man's woman
It don't make me happy this mantrolling
Thing that you got for me so I become
No man's woman*
My laptop had backed-up files on everything I ever needed to know. Lex joked that I was compiling my own encyclopedia. I brought up the file on Nina, which included the stuff that hadn't been declassified yet, and stared at her file photo again. I had trusted her. And Tony was right, I had thought about shooting her. Many, many times. Most of the time for Jack. But once or twice for me.
*I don't wanna be no man's woman
I've other work I want to get done
I haven't travelled this far to become
No man's woman
No man's woman*
Psychologically, my brain was on a tape loop. Memories of Nina as I had known her flooded my head, fought back with memories of Teri's dead body, of Nina as the killer we knew, and Nina trying to repeat the same process all over again. Slowly, my fear turned to rage and a driving need for justice. I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood.
This time, justice would find her. As always, it would mostly be for Jack. But it would also be for me. It would come from me, with the help of my friends, and I would be the justice I wanted to have. If I were lucky. If I didn't end up dead. But that was a chance I'd just have to take. Looking over at Leticia, I hoped I didn't cost her her life in the doing. Somehow, though, I thought she understood. At least she wasn't accidentally shooting the hotel room wall. It made me smile. I needed to feel that.
*Because I'm tired of it
And I'm so scared of it
That I'll never trust again
Because a man can fake you
Take your soul and make you
Miserable in so much pain*
Sitting on my bed, I reached over and dialed Jack's home number. I knew it was late and he wouldn't be at the office anymore, but he needed to know what was happening – not just as my boss, but as my mentor and my friend. He picked up on the second ring, and I found myself cradling the phone as if it were a holiday conversation, as if it might be my last chance to say something to the man who'd seen me so far and yet, was helping me stand on my own.
"What happened?" he asked me.
I explained the details of Oliver and Tony's plan. "They want to go after Nina, Jack," I said. "They want to bring her down. Risking everything to do it, but it's the only way we have a shot at stopping half of what she has planned. And to do it, I'm going to have to be right there."
Silence on the line for a moment. "Are you all right with this?"
"No," I admitted, "But does it really matter?"
"It matters to me. You matter to me." Jack seemed wounded, at least in his voice. "But I trust your judgment. That's why I sent you out there. If I'd known it would be this bad … but I know you'll do the right thing. Nina can hurt you, Brittany, never forget that. But Tony's right, we can't let her hurt more people."
"This is for you, Jack," I told him, "I'm doing this for you, for Teri, for Kim, for us."
"I know." He paused. "But you're also doing it because it's right. That's what matters."
More silence.
"Is Tony in the other room?" he asked me. "I'll talk it out with him."
"Yeah," I said, "I've got to work on the profile … we go up tomorrow and …"
"I understand. Have him call me when he gets up. Phone me in the morning." Jack exhaled. "Whatever you're going to do, I'm proud of you, both as an agent and a friend. When you come back to CTU, there's a promotion waiting for you."
"I'm looking forward to the day, Jack," I said. "Just have to earn it first."
We said good night and I hung up the phone. The computer was humming, unlocking encrypted file after encrypted file. There was something disturbing about having ESPN on the TV and my best friend holding a Glock nine-millimeter aiming at Rich Eisen's forehead. I reached across to my suitcase and produced my second weapon, left cradling it as I wondered if I'd go down fighting. I was proud to go down fighting for something that meant something, and somehow I'd find it in me to be ready.
And a somber line played on the stereo:
*My friends think I'm alone but I've got secrets…*