2.After the Occupation
In the Castle, all was quiet, as fitting for a lovely dawn. But not for long.
The door to Dante's bedroom banged open, and the devil hunter himself emerged from within. Yawning, he made his way down the hall toward the kitchen. At a crossroads in the hall, he heard the sound of a far-off motor revving. Thinking nothing of it, he started across the intersection. The motor quickly became louder, so quickly in fact that Dante was only halfway across the hall when Zidane's go-kart rounded the corner. Zidane either honestly didn't see Dante, or he didn't care, as he just screeched on down the hall, ruining the rug and knocking the various tables and paintings down in passing. It was only Dante's quick reflexes, possessed at birth and sharpened over the years, that saved him from being run down where he stood.
"Damn! So now I have to look both ways before I cross my own hall?" Grumbling to himself darkly, Dante made his way – carefully – to the kitchen.
When he arrived, he found Fox and Cloud sitting at the breakfast table, drinking coffee and eating doughnuts. Zidane was standing in the refrigerator door, looking over its contents hungrily. Squall was reading the Daily Post, and Link and Barret were playing checkers at another table. Red XIII was nowhere in sight.
Scratch that last bit, Red was on top of the refrigerator, watching Zidane juggle various fruits. Dante decided that Zidane had had more than enough time at the refrigerator and shoved him out of the way. Zidane hit back, and a brief scuffle ensued, ending with Dante flinging Zidane out the kitchen door with a banana in his hands. Dante got some milk and cold pizza out and shut the door, making his way to the breakfast table. He made acknowledging noises at the other guys and sat down. Cid then came in and grabbed a coke from the fridge before exiting in a hurry.
"What's his rush?" Dante asked.
"Well, he's been working on the Castle machines in an effort to make them work more efficiently. So far he's fixed up the water lines, microwaves, ovens, and TV's. There's no telling what he's working on now," Link answered.
"Whoa. When I asked him to fix some stuff up because he looked like a halfway decent mechanic, I never expected him to actually do it. Just by looking at him, it's hard to believe that he can be of any use at all."
"Huh, you don't know him well enough yet," Cloud snorted.
The guys finished their breakfasts and vacated the kitchen before the girls came in and ran them off.
"So… what we gonna do now?" Barret asked.
"Well, we could always go to my garage and see what we can do there," suggested Dante. Since no one else had any better ideas, off to the garage it was.
In the darkness of the garage, baby Phantom spiders and rats – eh, Blades – abounded. When the door slammed open, however, they all scattered into the woodwork. The lights flickered on, revealing two things of importance: Dante's red motorcycle and Dante's unfinished biplane. Of not-so-great importance were the various mechanical parts scattered all over the floor.
"Welcome to my garage," Dante proclaimed proudly.
"Hey, Dante, man, where did all these parts come from?" Squall asked.
"Oh, hear and there, you know."
"Ah."
"Yep, I've been working on this baby for half a year now," Dante said, patting the incomplete hull of the biplane, "and I've loved every minute of it. When it's finished, it'll be the my greatest accomplishment yet."
"I'll bet," Link said, nonplussed, "Hey would it be okay if the rest of us used all these spare parts lying around to build our own stuff?" But Dante was too busy stroking the biplane to hear. "Dante? Dante. DANTE!"
"Huh? What? Oh, sure, whatever floats your boat."
"My gratitude is boundless." But Dante was too busy working on his biplane to appreciate the sarcasm in Link's voice.
"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!! OH! MY!! GOD!!!" Cid had discovered the garage. "Out of the way, fools! I must get in! Move, I say! Okay Barret, how about this? I now control everything mechanical in the Castle, and if you don't move you won't shower properly for a week!"
Barret's showers were important to him. He moved. Cid got in.
"Yes! Oh baby, YES! My most cherished dream come true! A workshop all to myself!" Cid was going into hysterics.
Cloud took it upon himself to burst Cid's bubble. "Well, actually, Cid, this is a shared workshop. It's not just yours. The rest of us guys are going to be working here, too."
Cid took it rather well. He started to cry. "NO! NOOOOOO! Why, God, why? WHY?" Cid's wracking sobs were beginning to impede his weak old man breathing.
This alarmed Barret. "Yo, Cid, man, you still get a part, jus' not all of it…"
After a few more snivels, Cid cleared his throat. "Ahem. Excuse me. Well I suppose a part's better than none… as long as I a spot near the circuit box."
The comforting role did not suit Barret well. But he had brought it on himself, and no one was about to help him out. "Fine, fine, you jus' go and set up shop right over there under the circuit box, where you can stare at it as you go to sleep, okay?"
But Cid was not listening. He was already on his way to his part of the garage. Barret sighed with relief, then proceeded to acquire some parts from the other guys, whether they wanted to share or not.
Later, elsewhere in the Castle…Garnet was luxuriating in the comfort of a good book, when she suddenly realized something. "Hey girls, have you noticed that it's been unusually quiet today?"
"Why, now that you mention it, it sure has. I wonder why?" Malon answered.
Trish snorted. "I'll tell you why. It's because those dumbass boys haven't shown their faces yet."
"But they should've at least started one fight by now…" Aeris said, mildly worried. Notice that she did not deny that the guys were dumbasses.
The gist of the conversation finally dawned on Rinoa. "Squall is missing?" she gasped, "Oh NO! Now who will protect me from the monsters? Or help me bake cookies? Or come to my tea parties? Oh Squall, where are you? SQUAAAAAAAALLLLL!!!!"
In the garage…A high, piercing scream came to Squall's ears over the whirring of buzz saws, the pounding of hammers, the steady thrum of radio music, and the general sounds of industry at its finest. He perked up. "Hey guys, did you hear something?" He was answered by a chorus of "no's", "what's", and a "shutdahellupstoopid" from Barret. Miffed, Squall went back to work.
Back with the girls, who now have ringing headaches…"Ow… shit Rinoa, you don't have to screech like that just because Squall isn't right in front of you…" Trish had been the one closest to Rinoa when she went off. Now she was temporarily deaf in her right ear.
Fox poked his head in the door. "Hey girls, I heard a scream, but it seems you are all a-okay. Have you seen the other-" he was cut off as Rinoa tackled him to the floor.
"You! Tell me where Squall is! Now! Tellmetellmetellmetellmetellmetellmetellme…"
Fox, surprised and unable to hear himself think over the din, attempted to get an answer out, but Rinoa repeatedly cut him off. Finally he yelled, "Get the hell off me right now before I eat you all up!" Rinoa, frightened to high heaven, did so in as great a hurry as she could manage.
"Ahem. Now then, have any of you seen any of the other guys? Uh, girls?" All the girls were looking at him funny. "What? Oh… Rinoa, I'm not really going to eat you all up, I just needed you to get off me."
"So you don't know where Squall is?" she asked tentatively.
"While we were on our way to the garage I stopped to look down another hallway for five seconds, and next thing I know I'm all alone in this rat maze of a Castle."
"Oh, the garage," said Trish with a disgusted tone in her voice, "Follow me, I know where it is."
Meanwhile, in the garage…There really is nothing like working with power tools to make you forget about the outside world. Link found this out while working on a new project. So when the door opened, Link was rather surprised, as he had forgotten there was a door. He watched as Fox came in, looking pissed for some reason, and proceeded to yell at Dante for leaving him behind. Dante did not notice Fox until Fox came at him with a steel pipe.
Then all of a sudden, the radio stopped playing heavy metal rock music and began to play a sappy reunion number as Rinoa stepped in, saw Squall, and dashed through the dangerous maze of power tools and scrap metal to tackle him to the ground. Luckily, Squall saw her coming and managed to turn off his blowtorch before she reached him.
"Squall! Oh Squall, it was horrible! When you went missing, and I didn't know where you were, and oh it was just awful…!" And she went on in this train of speech until Squall finally managed to calm her down, give her a cookie, and send her to her room to take a nap. Yes, yes, he would be right here when she woke up, and if he wasn't, he would be coming to get her. Everything would be fine. Now run along and let the men get on with their work.
The guys managed to hold their laughter in all the way until the door closed.
"BWAHAHAHAHA!! Oh man, that was rich! 'Go on up to your room Rinoa.' Hahahaha!" Dante never was one for discretion.
"Oh, oh, and, 'Everything will be fine, sweetums.' I think I'm gonna pass out!" Barret wasn't either.
"I wouldn't recommend it, as there's only a pair of tongs between you and that hot iron." Squall was not amused.
"O… okay guys," Fox wheezed, "I think we men aught to g… get on with our work!"
"WAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"I'll remember this, you immature cretins."
"Squall, the mighty protector of the world, turns out to be nothing more than a babysitter!" Link jeered.
At this point, the guys were reduced to pained gasping in place of laughing.
"Hey fools, look at this!" When Squall had the men's attention, he held up both fists and performed a Double Bird Flip. "Can you read sign language, ladies?"
And so, the boys spent the rest of their day working on their projects and snickering at Squall, who wrote down the names, dates, and times of the offenders for future reference.