Neon Genesis Evangelion
Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Forgive or Forget Chapter 4
Shinji sighed deeply and felt like he could cry any second now. Does he really want to live ? After everything that happened. He has witnessed almost every negative aspect of life, and almost NONE of the positive ones. He knows there's a slim chance of finding happiness. Could he really try to live again ? Among all those others, all those who have hurt him so deeply ?The first tears were beginning to form in hiseyes as he realised how unfair it was for him, what he had to go through. How sickening life is..
'Selfpity... I'm already so low, and now I find myself sinking in dignity again ?'
I.. I should die... and let all the others, every other one live.. I.. I can't stand the hurting. It's too much. To feel another single feeling of pain.. is unbearable to me.. Even if there's a chance of happiness for me... the pain inside me will overcloud it eventually.. I.. I don't think anyone will care... they've probably forgotten me already...
"Lilith... I now know what I want."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
"Misato-san !!!" A boy yelled as he ran after a purple-haired woman. The boy was called Kensuke Aida.
Misato turned around at the sound of her name, "Who.."
"I.. err.. I understand if you don' recognise me, it's been so long." Kensuke stammered after he stopped in front of Misato.
".... Aida-kun ?" Misato hesitantly said.
Kensuke's spirits were filled with joy, "Y-You recognize me ?! HAhaha !! You really do !!"
Misato smiled a small smile, "How can I forget one of Shinji's best friends ? Though it was a little hard without the glasses."
Kensuke put right arm after his head and scratched the back of his head, while he nervously laughed, "Yeah.. hehe, it seems I don't need them anymore. Girls are actually noticing me now."
"That's great for you, so you have a girlfriend now ?" Misato winked at him.
"Neh, not me.. Where are you heading ?" Kensuke said, eager to change the subject.
"Home, actually. Asuka gets cranky when we don't eat on time. And I have to supply all the vegetables and all. I haven't cooked in ages." Misato glanced sideways as she heard some noise. "What's going on over there ?"
"I think it's a fight. I can't really see." Kensuke responded as he stood on his toes, trying to look over the other people that were walking around. "Oh well.."
"Let's go. Come with me, so we can catch up." Misato said, not really interested.
"Hmm, Asuka's there.... I don't know..." Kensuke said, deep in thought.
"Asuka is, well, a lot calmer ever since.. well, you know..."
"Oh... I'm sorry."
"Aren't we all ?" Misato took a brief pause. "Come on, Toji and Hikari are coming over for dinner tonight. They wil be happy to see you again ?"
"Ok, ok, I'll follow."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
"And so, that goddamn jerk kicked me in the shin !!" Toji said and laughed throughout the house.
Hikari was blushing slightly. "Toji... You hit him back, you know ?"
"Hmmph, well, that moron deserved it."
"So it was you who was fighting this afternoon !?" Kensuke yelled.
Hikari shook her head wildly, her hair shaking all the way with her. She didn't wore it in ponytails anymore. "Nuh-uh. I wasn't involved. It was Toji and that other guy.. What was his name ?" Hikari asked as she ticked Toji's arm.
"I didn't catch the bastard's name..." Toji said a little annoyed.
"Beer anyone ?" Misato asked as she entered the room, with Asuka following her with a big plate filled with all kinds of breads.
"Yeah! Right here!" Toji yelled.
"I think I'll pass.. I have to get up rather early tomorrow.." Kensuke grumbled slightly.
"For what ?" Hikari asked, while grabbing a sausage-roll and taking a small bite.
"For work. I joined the army not long ago, but somehow they decided to stuff me in an office..."
Kensuke said, "But it's no biggy.. There are some real nice people working there... And I'm not even talking about the ladies." Kensuke finished with a grin.
"Pervert. Just got back and he's already talking about women.." Asuka pointed out as she sat down between Misato and Hikari on the ground.
"Aaa-shut uup. I'm enjoying life now.. so leave me be, ok ?"
"How can one enjoy life in an office ?" Toji asked warily.
"Easy. Sit down with a drink, turn the computer on and play videogames all day long." Kensuke said while adding a smirk.
"Hrmph! I hope you get fired.."Asuka said, frowning at Kensuke.
"If you want to talk about enjoying life then grab a beer, Kensuke!" Misato said, taking a gulp herself.
"Now here's a man who's enjoying life!" Toji said, opening his second can of beer. "I'm a gym teacher at our old school."
"Oh brother... Not this story again.." Asuka whined..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
You don't want to be there ?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
"G'bye !!" Misato waved lazily at the sober Hikari and the two drunken boys Kensuke and Toji.
"Bye !!" Hikari replied as the only one, since the other two were just walking forward... or something like that.
Asuka sighed as Misato came back inside and fell face first on the floor. She got up, took a look at Misato, who was slightly in pain, shrugged, and turned toward her own room. Misato mumbled something unhearable afterwards.
Asuka plunged down on her bed and faced the ceiling. She sighed deeply and closed her eyes. Then she took a trip down Memory Lane... through her dreams..
---
Inside Evangelion Unit-02... it's pilot was unconsciouss, but alive. The grounds before her were ever so silent. When the dust vanished, the remaining pieces of Evangelion Unit-01 and two parts of a humongous head could be seen, but the two parts vanished.
"Shinji !! Is Shinji still alive !?" Misato yelled throughout the command centre.
"We're not receiving any signals !!" Shigeru responded immediately. "Wait! Second Children's status is stable !!"
"Retrieve her NOW !!" Misato screamed. "And try to find out what happened with Shinji !"
The next day, Asuka found herself in a hospital bed. She winced as the pain came back to her. She carefully touched her eye and noticed Misato, sound asleep to the right of her bed.
"Misato ?" She barely got out. She coughed twice to make sure she could yell 'Misato' again. "Misato !!"
"Yuh ??" Misato mumbled, still half asleep. She opened one eye, and soon the second. "ASUKA !! you're awake !! Oh my GOD ! Are you okay ?!"
Within a split second, Misato was all over Asuka. "Misato!" Asuka screeched out trying to loosen Misato's grip, "Misato !!"
"Asuka.. Asuka.. It's all over... Everything's over.. " Misato cried.
"Wh-What do you mean !!" Asuka screamed, and was relieved Misato let go of her.
"I mean, you don't have to pilot your Evangelion anymore! No more dangers !!" Misato said, though a little sad.
Asuka remained silent and thought about this a little bit longer.
---
Asuka and Misato walked up to Misato's car, both of them deep in thought. Misato opened the door for Asuka, and entere the car herself a few seconds later.
"Misato ?"
"Yeah?"
"What happened?"
"Well.. The U.N. Forces attacked NERV and planned to kill every single person involved with Nerv, including you children. We put you in Evangelion Unit-02, hoping you'd be safe there. Rei and the Commander were nowhere to be find, and after some trouble.......... we found Shinji sulking somewhere. We put him in his Eva too. We never expected you to wake up inside your Eva.
Apparently, the U.N. Forces also had some Evangelions in their possesion, 8 of them. You destroyed most of them, but they just came back. One of them threw a Lance through your eye... They started ripping your Eva apart. That's when Shinji came up in his Eva... and that's when everything... started to black out.."
"So.." Asuka began, confused.
"So.." Misato replied, hesitating.
"We all survived it ?"
"Uhh... well... We've found the Commander..... he was dead... Rei.. we haven't found Rei yet.. And Shinji..... Shinji isn't found yet either.. but, we found his Eva.. and its shattered Entry Plug. Shinji wasn't in there.."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
Are you Sure ?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
"Good morniingg..." Misato groaned in the afternoon as Asuka entered the living room.
"G'morning." Asuka made a very distraught face. "It smells like someone barfed in here.."
Misato smiled sheeplishly and Asuka groaned.
"I'm going to eat in MY room." Asuka announced as she walked toward the kitchen.
'Jeezus.. I bet she put her head in her own vomit as well...'
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
"Uuugghhh...." Kensuke groaned behind his desk, with both his hands rubbing his temples.
"What's wrong, Aida ?" His boss asked, standing behind Kensuke. "Had a rough night ?"
"Urgh.. Kind of...." Kensuke asnwered.
His boss chuckled. "Well, just see to it, you finish what need's to be finished, alright ?"
"Understood." Kensuke groaned.
His cellphone went off just as his boss left his office. "Aida... Kensuke.. here." Kensuke answered groggishly.
"Hey, Aida !! When are you finished working ?"
Kensuke sighed annoyed "DON'T.. get me started, Toji.."
"Hee hee.. Well, do you have to work tomorrow ?" Toji asked, apparently not having a hang-over.
"No.. Thank God." Kensuke spat out, annoyed he had to work now..
"Good. Then we can go out tonight. We can catch up. Talk about the old days, you know ?"
"Yeah, sure.." Kensuke answered and hung up. "Hmm, what do I have to do today anyway ?"
Toji stared at his phone for a few seconds.. 'Huh.. he just hung up... heh, the idiot can't take alcohol, I guess... Tonight he'll have to.'
"Hikari ?" Toji yelled toward the kitchen, while he turned the TV on.
"Yeah ?"
"I'm going out tonight. Kensuke's coming with me."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
I bid thee farewell then...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------
FLASHBACK...
"You mean... Shinji and Rei... they're..they're...." Asuka swallowed hard. "dead ?"
Misato took a long pause before answering "... Yeah... "
Asuka swallowed hard again and and stared forward while her lips were trembling uncontrollably.
"We never found them..... Rei... And Shinji... well.... " Misato didn't finish the sentence and broke down crying.
Asuka also resisted the urge to cry and continued to stare before her.
In a split second, Asuka ran away from the table, opened her door, entered her room and threw herself on her bed, burying her head in her pillow together with her arms.
END FLASHBACK....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
Well, another short chapter, but..........
OK, OK, there is NO 'but'...
I'm still not very sure if there will be one or two next chapters... I'm still uncertain about the entire 'Shinji-disappearing-re-appearing'-act. Should I bring him back ? Or should I just let it all start over, with Shinji from the beginning ? Oh well, Gotta think it over..
Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Forgive or Forget Chapter 4
Shinji sighed deeply and felt like he could cry any second now. Does he really want to live ? After everything that happened. He has witnessed almost every negative aspect of life, and almost NONE of the positive ones. He knows there's a slim chance of finding happiness. Could he really try to live again ? Among all those others, all those who have hurt him so deeply ?The first tears were beginning to form in hiseyes as he realised how unfair it was for him, what he had to go through. How sickening life is..
'Selfpity... I'm already so low, and now I find myself sinking in dignity again ?'
I.. I should die... and let all the others, every other one live.. I.. I can't stand the hurting. It's too much. To feel another single feeling of pain.. is unbearable to me.. Even if there's a chance of happiness for me... the pain inside me will overcloud it eventually.. I.. I don't think anyone will care... they've probably forgotten me already...
"Lilith... I now know what I want."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
"Misato-san !!!" A boy yelled as he ran after a purple-haired woman. The boy was called Kensuke Aida.
Misato turned around at the sound of her name, "Who.."
"I.. err.. I understand if you don' recognise me, it's been so long." Kensuke stammered after he stopped in front of Misato.
".... Aida-kun ?" Misato hesitantly said.
Kensuke's spirits were filled with joy, "Y-You recognize me ?! HAhaha !! You really do !!"
Misato smiled a small smile, "How can I forget one of Shinji's best friends ? Though it was a little hard without the glasses."
Kensuke put right arm after his head and scratched the back of his head, while he nervously laughed, "Yeah.. hehe, it seems I don't need them anymore. Girls are actually noticing me now."
"That's great for you, so you have a girlfriend now ?" Misato winked at him.
"Neh, not me.. Where are you heading ?" Kensuke said, eager to change the subject.
"Home, actually. Asuka gets cranky when we don't eat on time. And I have to supply all the vegetables and all. I haven't cooked in ages." Misato glanced sideways as she heard some noise. "What's going on over there ?"
"I think it's a fight. I can't really see." Kensuke responded as he stood on his toes, trying to look over the other people that were walking around. "Oh well.."
"Let's go. Come with me, so we can catch up." Misato said, not really interested.
"Hmm, Asuka's there.... I don't know..." Kensuke said, deep in thought.
"Asuka is, well, a lot calmer ever since.. well, you know..."
"Oh... I'm sorry."
"Aren't we all ?" Misato took a brief pause. "Come on, Toji and Hikari are coming over for dinner tonight. They wil be happy to see you again ?"
"Ok, ok, I'll follow."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
"And so, that goddamn jerk kicked me in the shin !!" Toji said and laughed throughout the house.
Hikari was blushing slightly. "Toji... You hit him back, you know ?"
"Hmmph, well, that moron deserved it."
"So it was you who was fighting this afternoon !?" Kensuke yelled.
Hikari shook her head wildly, her hair shaking all the way with her. She didn't wore it in ponytails anymore. "Nuh-uh. I wasn't involved. It was Toji and that other guy.. What was his name ?" Hikari asked as she ticked Toji's arm.
"I didn't catch the bastard's name..." Toji said a little annoyed.
"Beer anyone ?" Misato asked as she entered the room, with Asuka following her with a big plate filled with all kinds of breads.
"Yeah! Right here!" Toji yelled.
"I think I'll pass.. I have to get up rather early tomorrow.." Kensuke grumbled slightly.
"For what ?" Hikari asked, while grabbing a sausage-roll and taking a small bite.
"For work. I joined the army not long ago, but somehow they decided to stuff me in an office..."
Kensuke said, "But it's no biggy.. There are some real nice people working there... And I'm not even talking about the ladies." Kensuke finished with a grin.
"Pervert. Just got back and he's already talking about women.." Asuka pointed out as she sat down between Misato and Hikari on the ground.
"Aaa-shut uup. I'm enjoying life now.. so leave me be, ok ?"
"How can one enjoy life in an office ?" Toji asked warily.
"Easy. Sit down with a drink, turn the computer on and play videogames all day long." Kensuke said while adding a smirk.
"Hrmph! I hope you get fired.."Asuka said, frowning at Kensuke.
"If you want to talk about enjoying life then grab a beer, Kensuke!" Misato said, taking a gulp herself.
"Now here's a man who's enjoying life!" Toji said, opening his second can of beer. "I'm a gym teacher at our old school."
"Oh brother... Not this story again.." Asuka whined..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
You don't want to be there ?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
"G'bye !!" Misato waved lazily at the sober Hikari and the two drunken boys Kensuke and Toji.
"Bye !!" Hikari replied as the only one, since the other two were just walking forward... or something like that.
Asuka sighed as Misato came back inside and fell face first on the floor. She got up, took a look at Misato, who was slightly in pain, shrugged, and turned toward her own room. Misato mumbled something unhearable afterwards.
Asuka plunged down on her bed and faced the ceiling. She sighed deeply and closed her eyes. Then she took a trip down Memory Lane... through her dreams..
---
Inside Evangelion Unit-02... it's pilot was unconsciouss, but alive. The grounds before her were ever so silent. When the dust vanished, the remaining pieces of Evangelion Unit-01 and two parts of a humongous head could be seen, but the two parts vanished.
"Shinji !! Is Shinji still alive !?" Misato yelled throughout the command centre.
"We're not receiving any signals !!" Shigeru responded immediately. "Wait! Second Children's status is stable !!"
"Retrieve her NOW !!" Misato screamed. "And try to find out what happened with Shinji !"
The next day, Asuka found herself in a hospital bed. She winced as the pain came back to her. She carefully touched her eye and noticed Misato, sound asleep to the right of her bed.
"Misato ?" She barely got out. She coughed twice to make sure she could yell 'Misato' again. "Misato !!"
"Yuh ??" Misato mumbled, still half asleep. She opened one eye, and soon the second. "ASUKA !! you're awake !! Oh my GOD ! Are you okay ?!"
Within a split second, Misato was all over Asuka. "Misato!" Asuka screeched out trying to loosen Misato's grip, "Misato !!"
"Asuka.. Asuka.. It's all over... Everything's over.. " Misato cried.
"Wh-What do you mean !!" Asuka screamed, and was relieved Misato let go of her.
"I mean, you don't have to pilot your Evangelion anymore! No more dangers !!" Misato said, though a little sad.
Asuka remained silent and thought about this a little bit longer.
---
Asuka and Misato walked up to Misato's car, both of them deep in thought. Misato opened the door for Asuka, and entere the car herself a few seconds later.
"Misato ?"
"Yeah?"
"What happened?"
"Well.. The U.N. Forces attacked NERV and planned to kill every single person involved with Nerv, including you children. We put you in Evangelion Unit-02, hoping you'd be safe there. Rei and the Commander were nowhere to be find, and after some trouble.......... we found Shinji sulking somewhere. We put him in his Eva too. We never expected you to wake up inside your Eva.
Apparently, the U.N. Forces also had some Evangelions in their possesion, 8 of them. You destroyed most of them, but they just came back. One of them threw a Lance through your eye... They started ripping your Eva apart. That's when Shinji came up in his Eva... and that's when everything... started to black out.."
"So.." Asuka began, confused.
"So.." Misato replied, hesitating.
"We all survived it ?"
"Uhh... well... We've found the Commander..... he was dead... Rei.. we haven't found Rei yet.. And Shinji..... Shinji isn't found yet either.. but, we found his Eva.. and its shattered Entry Plug. Shinji wasn't in there.."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
Are you Sure ?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
"Good morniingg..." Misato groaned in the afternoon as Asuka entered the living room.
"G'morning." Asuka made a very distraught face. "It smells like someone barfed in here.."
Misato smiled sheeplishly and Asuka groaned.
"I'm going to eat in MY room." Asuka announced as she walked toward the kitchen.
'Jeezus.. I bet she put her head in her own vomit as well...'
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
"Uuugghhh...." Kensuke groaned behind his desk, with both his hands rubbing his temples.
"What's wrong, Aida ?" His boss asked, standing behind Kensuke. "Had a rough night ?"
"Urgh.. Kind of...." Kensuke asnwered.
His boss chuckled. "Well, just see to it, you finish what need's to be finished, alright ?"
"Understood." Kensuke groaned.
His cellphone went off just as his boss left his office. "Aida... Kensuke.. here." Kensuke answered groggishly.
"Hey, Aida !! When are you finished working ?"
Kensuke sighed annoyed "DON'T.. get me started, Toji.."
"Hee hee.. Well, do you have to work tomorrow ?" Toji asked, apparently not having a hang-over.
"No.. Thank God." Kensuke spat out, annoyed he had to work now..
"Good. Then we can go out tonight. We can catch up. Talk about the old days, you know ?"
"Yeah, sure.." Kensuke answered and hung up. "Hmm, what do I have to do today anyway ?"
Toji stared at his phone for a few seconds.. 'Huh.. he just hung up... heh, the idiot can't take alcohol, I guess... Tonight he'll have to.'
"Hikari ?" Toji yelled toward the kitchen, while he turned the TV on.
"Yeah ?"
"I'm going out tonight. Kensuke's coming with me."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
I bid thee farewell then...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------
FLASHBACK...
"You mean... Shinji and Rei... they're..they're...." Asuka swallowed hard. "dead ?"
Misato took a long pause before answering "... Yeah... "
Asuka swallowed hard again and and stared forward while her lips were trembling uncontrollably.
"We never found them..... Rei... And Shinji... well.... " Misato didn't finish the sentence and broke down crying.
Asuka also resisted the urge to cry and continued to stare before her.
In a split second, Asuka ran away from the table, opened her door, entered her room and threw herself on her bed, burying her head in her pillow together with her arms.
END FLASHBACK....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
Well, another short chapter, but..........
OK, OK, there is NO 'but'...
I'm still not very sure if there will be one or two next chapters... I'm still uncertain about the entire 'Shinji-disappearing-re-appearing'-act. Should I bring him back ? Or should I just let it all start over, with Shinji from the beginning ? Oh well, Gotta think it over..