I lay here still in my bed looking up at the ceiling. I can feel my body trembling in fear. My arms are bleeding from my restraints and I can feel a sharp pain in my side. I am so confused and so lost. The greatest man in my opinion besides my dad just hurt me. He hurt me unlike anything I have ever felt. I was almost happy to see him standing in my room but when I saw the look on his face. I could smell the anger coming off of him. He looked like a complete stranger. I don't understand why Kurt would do this to me. We have always been so close. He treated me like I was a whore. Like I was something he could use as a toy.
He acted like he enjoyed every second of it. He closed his eyes and savored every last drop. He called my name out in pleasure while I was laying under him crying, pleading for him to just talk to me. To just let me explain myself to him but he wouldn't. He kept covering my mouth and thrusting him self into me like he loved every second of it. That was the one man I trusted with my life. I knew above anyone else he would never touch me. I always ran to him when I needed a shoulder to cry and he always comforted me. He never tried to hurt me or come on to me. He never tried one time. I never acted like I wanted him either because I knew he would never have me. I knew he was too good for me.
I loved Kurt Angle with every piece of my soul. In my eyes he was the perfect man. He was always so charming and understanding. I would pray at night that god would give me the strength to tell him but I never found it. I would see him and look into those beautiful sky blue eyes and totally loose it. My eyes would trace his face for a minute just observing the greatness before me. I would tell myself things like why would he want me I'm just referred to as the company hoe. He deserved to be with someone that was perfect and pure just like he was. He needs a woman that would be there for him every time he falls. I knew I could never be that woman yet those thoughts consumed my mind.
I would spend hours at a time thinking about what I could do to make myself more desirable to him. He could see how easy it was to have me if he wanted me. I made sure to make myself noticeable to him. I would wear the sexiest thing I could find every day just for him. I would always move my hips that special way when I walked so he could see what he could have but he never seemed to notice. He always looked at me as his friend and it killed me. I wanted to be more than just his friend. I wanted to be his lover and soul mate too. He consumed my thoughts and my mind. He was my obsession.