Nothing Lasts Forever
By Misha
Disclaimer- I do not own any of the characters of General Hospital. They belong to the creators of General Hospital, Wendy Riche, Bob Guza, ABC Daytime, and probably a lot of other people with more money than me. I don't own the song "November Rain", again it belongs to people with a whole lot more money than me. I don't have permission to use the characters or the song, but I'm not making any money off this story so please don't sue me.
Author's Notes- "November Rain" is one of my all-time favorite songs and I wondered how hard it would be to write a Brenda/Sonny fanfic to it. The answer was, pretty easy and this is the result. This covers quite a few years. It's starts before Sonny left Brenda at the alter, when they were still together and ends up after Sonny's "death", before Brenda realizes that he didn't really die. It's kind of angsty, 'cause that comes so easily to me. Well, that's all, enjoy!
Rating- PG-13
When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
Sonny held Brenda in his arms and watched as she slept.
A smile graced his face.
He had tried not to love this woman and he knew that at the beginning she hadn't want to love him, but in the end, no matter how hard they tried to fight it, they were meant for one another.
As he held her in his arms, he wondered how either one of them could even think of denying that.
Because when he held her, when they were one, it was the most obvious thing in the world.
'Cause nothin' last forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold november rain
Sonny sat back in his seat, at his limo drove away, fighting the urge to order the driver to turn back.
He had to go. For Brenda and for himself.
He knew that what he was doing would hurt her now--but in the end, it would save her life.
He had been wrong to think that they could have forever.
There was no such thing. Nothing lasted that long. Not even love.
No matter how hard they fought, how much they wanted it, there came a moment when you had to give up and walk away.
He had reached the point, no matter how much he wanted to stay, he knew that he couldn't.
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
And no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
Brenda laid in bed and looked at the man sleeping next to her.
He was a good man, a decent man. And she loved him, she really did.
But in her heart of hearts she had to admit that Jax was a substitute and that he could never match Sonny in her heart.
But Sonny was gone and she understood now why he had left.
So she had done what he needed her to do, she moved on. She found someone to dim her pain and heal her wounds.
She doubted that she and Jax would last forever.
She didn't even know if forever existed. She didn't think so.
In the end things always fell apart. Someone always walked away, even if they didn't want to...
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could raise my head just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
Sonny watched Brenda at the nurses ball and that day at the warehouse.
His heart broke as he watched her run into the arms of another man.
He knew that was what he had intended when he left, but seeing it with his own eyes was too much...
He hated himself for leaving.
Once Brenda had been his and his alone. Now she would never be his again.
He had walked away.
It had been the right thing to do, but it hurt so much to know that he would never again be able to claim her.
So if you want to love me then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin' in the cold november rain
Brenda closed her eyes, knowing that this was it.
The car was going over the cliff and nothing she could do would stop it. As her body hit the icy water, she knew that she was going to die.
Suddenly she saw Sonny right in front of her all lazy smile and gorgeous dimples.
If only you hadn't been afraid of what would happen. She thought as she went deeper into the water. We could have had so much. Instead, it ends here and you'll be alone. Be safe, my darling and happy. That's all I ever wanted for you.
She could feel her body giving up and concentrated on the image of Sonny. She had always known that when she died, she would do so seeing his face...
Do you need some time... on your own
Do you need some time... all alone
Everybody needs some time... on their own
Don't you know you need some time... all alone
In the months after he learnt of Brenda's death, Sonny couldn't bear to be around people.
He needed to be alone, to mourn her properly.
His sunshine, his angel.
He saw her everywhere, heard her voice, felt her touch. The ghost of his beloved Brenda was always with him.
But only when he was by himself.
When he was with other people, he was aware of the truth. That Brenda was gone and that she was never going to come back.
That was why it was easier to be alone. Alone with his thoughts and his memories...
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you
Sonny looked down at Carly, as she lay next to him.
Somehow, she had wormed her way into his life, his bed, and finally his heart.
It had been hard, after all, his heart had become a carefully guarded thing after Brenda's death.
He hadn't wanted to let anyone in, because he had never wanted to go through the agony of loss again.
But in the end, without any help from him, Carly had found her way in and had decided to stay there. In time, she had healed his shattered heart.
She hadn't replaced Brenda, no one could do that, but she had made her own place, that was just as special.
Sometimes I need some time... on my own
Sometimes I need some time... all alone
Everybody needs some time... on their own
Don't you know you need some time... all alone
Brenda sat in her room in the compound.
She had told Luis that she wasn't feeling well and had locked the door.
She just needed some time on her own.
The memories were just getting to her.
She knew that she had made the right decision in staying away, but...
A part of her longed to go home to see Jax again and Sonny... To be with her adored Sonny one last time, but she couldn't do that to him.
She would never let Sonny see her the way she would soon become. Sonny would hate to see her like that, it would destroy him and she would never do that to him.
So, she stayed here and she tried to be happy. Luis wasn't bad, he just wasn't what she wanted.
But you couldn't always get what you wanted.
And when your fears subside and shadow still remain
I know that you can love me when there's no one left to blame
In the instant that he saw her smiling face, Sonny knew that nothing and everything had changed.
It didn't matter what was going to happen, all that mattered was the truth that he had finally learnt.
She was alive. Brenda was alive and in front of him.
She smiled and he knew that despite it all, he loved this woman like he never would love anyone else.
So never mind the darkness we still can find a way
'Cause nothing lasts forever even cold november rain
Brenda cradled Sonny in her arms as the rain poured down around them and all she could think about was how much she loved him.
She had always loved him and she knew that he loved her.
That what they had shared had been a special, a part of the greater picture.
And it was a tragedy that she finally realized it now. As she held his broken and dying body in her arms.
She had never ever really thought about Sonny dying. He just seemed above life and death, but now she knew the truth.
He was a vulnerable as anyone else.
And though, she had always imagined that he would be there forever, she remembered a lesson she had learnt five years earlier at the same church: Nothing lasted forever, no matter how much you wanted it to.
DON'T YA THINK THAT YOU NEED SOMEBODY
DON'T YA THINK THAT YOU NEED SOMEONE
EVERYBODY NEED SOMEBODY
YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE
YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE
Sonny heard her speak through the wall, her voice full of grief and pain, and wanted to comfort her.
He wanted to reach out and comfort her, wipe her tears away.
But he couldn't do it. He knew it was best if Brenda continued thinking that he was dead.
But at the same time, he couldn't let her be alone in her grief. So he had asked Jason to take care of her.
Jason was a good man, who would do as he was asked. He would take care of her as Sonny longed to, but knew he couldn't.
As much as he longed to go to her and hold her against him one more time, he knew that for so many reasons he couldn't.
No, all he could do was sit here and listen to her voice and wish that he was with her.
The End