*Dedicated to my no. 1 best friend, brother and confidant… you shall forever be my one and only…
Scarlet
By L. Hiiragizawa
Embrace
Darkness surrounded her pale frame.
Nothing.
The absence of light made a few shivers run up her spine as she continued to walk in confusion.
Nights had passed and days turned into a week, yet her thoughts were still clouded by countless questions and enigmas.
Who she was…
Why she was continually haunted by sudden dreams and emotions…
Why she held the crystal so dear as if it was her source of breath…
Who was Sophia and why she looked painfully like her…
Why was she in a time that she never chose and in a situation where blanks are awaited to be filled?
Who owned the blue eyes that summoned her back in her time and whom she instinctively fell in love with though she never ever knew who he was and why did she feel that way…
Who was Eriol?
Eriol.
In her memory, she was sure she met him.
Somewhere in the pages of her past…
"No! I shall never marry you, Theodore. Never!"
Silence. She halted and observed.
"Isn't that too early to say, princess?"
Voices.
Tomoyo searched her surroundings.
"I do not love you and I shall never learn to."
"My, aren't we too firm? Is it he who owns your heart?"
She continued to find where the sounds were coming from.
She needed to.
She needed to find the answers she yearns for.
"Never put him in this conversation, you cold-hearted bastard."
"I see how much you still love him, Sophia. But isn't that the man who brought misery to your family?"
"Must find the voices…"
"No…"
Tomoyo stopped as her eyes fixed upon the girl who shared the same features as hers, kneeling with her face buried in her hands, obviously sobbing as a man with black hair and soft blue eyes wore an evil smirk. He wasn't Eriol though since his eyes were of a lighter shade and his hair was curly. Anger rose up from her veins seeing how he seemed to enjoy every tear she shed. She just stood, watched and listened…
"Princess Sophia, till when shall you be living in a lie? Eriol does not love you. It is I my love."
A slap was heard and the girl continued to cry.
"Set me free then, Theodore. Set me free…"
Tomoyo brought a hand up her chest, feeling the pains of the lady. She seemed to feel every wound she had, every tear that endlessly fell and every word she uttered.
"Why? Why do I seem connected to her? Who is she? Who am I?"
"No, Sophia. Ever since I laid my eyes on you, I wished that you were mine. Only mine."
Tomoyo winced from where she stood as pain radiated from her wrist but no one was in front of her
No one except two strangely familiar persons: one who was weeping as the other held up her wrist, grasping it painfully with his big, callused hands.
"But the moron took you away from me."
"Wasn't that moron your best friend?" The girl shouted with hatred sketched all over her face, trying her best to release her wrist from the man's strong hold.
"Shut up!"
Another slap was heard and Tomoyo touched her face.
"Shouldn't you hate him, Sophia? He started the war: the war that killed many people including some of your own kin. He is out to kill and he does not see you as someone he loved anymore because of the scandal your father and his mother caused. Marry me, Sophia. Together, our kingdoms shall defeat Clementia. We shall kill the clan that killed your father and oppressed your kingdom."
"No. You lie."
Two arms held her as she silently refused the gesture.
"You lie, Theodore."
The man hugged her some more and because of a sudden realization, she felt weak to writhe away.
"I cannot kill Eriol."
'No…' Tomoyo repeated as tears fell from her cheeks and she fell down to her knees.
"I love Eriol, Theodore. I cannot hurt him."
'I am not.'
A light was hovering above her and the two figures she had been staring at were slowly vanishing out of sight.
'I cannot be…'
'No…'
She found the lady staring at her, eyes were visibly asking help.
"Help me, Tomoyo," she whispered.
"Who are you? Why do I feel you?"
"Please help me love again."
"Why?"
"Don't hate him, Tomoyo. Love him. Change him. Help me."
"Who "him"?"
"Help me fix my past. Love him." The lady whispered, slowly vanishing.
"Wait. You haven't answered me yet. Who are you? Who must I change? Why?"
"Please Tomoyo."
"You are Sophia aren't you? Who was the man? Theodore? Who is Theodore? How did you know Eriol? How?"
"Do it for me, Tomoyo. For me and for him…"
"How did you know that I'm Tomoyo?"
"…For him."
----------------
Nights had passed and days turned into a week.
…He still remembered her.
Though how strong he may appear, he harbored a weak soul. His weakness weaved mistakes after mistakes. His weakness killed his sanity and the persons he loved.
Too much blood had been lost. Too many lives have been wasted. Too many dreams were shattered…
…in his hands.
He basically ruined his own life because of hatred and possessiveness.
'Why?'
He pondered on everything he did since childhood though dwelling on the past shall stain his resilience. He remembered being loved by the multitude, serving his fellow Clementians, playing like a careless child and being respected as one of the royalty till he grew up. And then he saw her…
"Theodore! Theodore!"
Faint footsteps were heard coming his way.
"Shh…you'll wake the guards."
"Over here, quick!"
"I can't go there silly. Hide!"
Two men had passed, not noticing the two princes hiding and ready to escape the castle to catch snails and frogs, just like what the natives do. They had been escaping to do such hobbies every week after everybody had lulled into sleep so as to enjoy being free from the grip of royalty tied to their necks. To be just like ordinary people was their dream but having been born with such fate deprived them from enjoying life outside of the castle walls.
"Are they gone?"
"Yes, they are. And if we don't get out of this place, no more snail and frog haunting for you, your highness." The boy bowed mockingly earning a chuckle from his childhood friend.
"We better get going, Eriol before they spot us." He pulled his friend towards the secret exit they had discovered when they were little, exploring the castle's vastness.
"I still couldn't believe they never saw this exit."
"Hush. Shut up. I have something to show you."
They walked down deeper into the woods, running through the gigantic trees and bushes till they reached the spot where they usually hang out during their escapades.
"What was that thing you wanted to show me?"
"There. Look over that bush." His friend pointed out.
"How could I be sure this is not one of your tricks, Theodore?"
"Gah…just look. It's not a trick. Promise."
After taking a deep breath, he parted the bush that obstructed his view.
"Eriol, did you see the weird bird that I wanted to sh--"
There Eriol saw the person would completely change his life. He was mesmerized by her beauty and grace but what struck him most was her kind heart and her innocent features. She was ethereal and by the moment he witnessed her presence, his heart had life.
He went there every night by himself, not bothering to wake his friend who had also admired the nymph's charm. He just sat there and watched her tend to the injured bird yet it took a while before he gathered strength to know her. Once their eyes met, they both knew their compatibilities—as if destiny had all the events intertwined. Since that night, visits were held more often and there grew an intimate bond both kept in secrecy.
Envy.
Envy was the root of the evils that pursued from that night on. Two eyes flamed in jealousy as two persons discover new feelings and emotions. Friendships were forgotten. Dark secrets and identities were revealed. A love had been forbidden. War ensued. And the death of the person in between the feudal conflict still didn't heal the wounds that were slashed against each party.
Three years had passed…
…he still remembered.
Had his mother not betrayed his father's trust, things wouldn't be worse.
"Sophia…"
His mind averted to the lady who reminded him of his past and everything…
Every tragedy.
"She is not her. She is not her unless she has the most precious thing I gave her."
Searching for comfort, he continued to weep.
-------------
Tomoyo jerked from sleep. Everything was confusing her. Missing pieces of what she was searching for were appearing at a different chronology. There were voids waiting to be filled.
"Sophia…"
She racked her brain for possibilities that…
"No. I am not…"
Tears were threatening to spill from her violet orbs.
"I can't be. I'm Tomoyo Daidouji."
"Love him, Tomoyo."
The lady's voice kept lingering in her head.
"Don't deny the past."
"I don't know who I am."
Her voice cracked and filled the room. She stood and faced her reflection.
"Who are you?" Tomoyo screamed as her fist hit the hard glass.
"Who am I?"
She closed her eyes and tried to fight the overpowering pain. As her shoulders felt heavy, she dropped to her knees in agony. She wanted someone to hold her. Embrace her. She never wanted to live in sadness again. Never would she want to thrive in loneliness.
Enough was enough.
She doesn't want to be the Tomoyo Daidouji everybody in Tomoeda knew.
Snobby.
Mad.
Ruthless.
She doesn't want to live behind a thousand masks that covered up those nights she shed tears.
And living in the past with a question mark traced on her identity was just too much to handle.
Tomoyo opened her eyes and turned to face the moon that was high above the sky. From the corners of her eye, a familiar fabric was spotted folded neatly on top of her bed. She got a hold of it and recognized the unreturned material from the owner of the grounds she stayed. Questions once again popped out from the silence and her brows arched in deep thoughts. She clutched it tight and faced the slightly opened door, eyes marked with bravery.
---------
He faced the portrait with longing eyes and clutched in his hand was the last piece of writing that reminded him of her death.
Yes. He was mad.
Crazy.
Vengeance filled his heart.
He would conquer her.
"Destiny shall weave its threads that would lead me back to you."
Once again, he thought of the possibilities…
She could not have died after being swallowed by the earth, could she?
"You could quit staring at me and come in." His voice depicted sadness frozen within ice-cold glaziers.
She heard his voice. Jumping out behind the door, she made her way behind him, face streaked with guilt. Somehow, the incident that happened in the same room made her flush a bit as she handed the piece of material he lent her that shielded her from the cold wind of night.
His back faced her. He would once and for all erase all doubts.
She may be…
She may be not…
"Tell me…"
Tomoyo laid the fabric on the bed and flinched at his voice. She can't fathom why she felt awkward when she would hear his voice and just simply be near him. Something sparked in her that was hard to comprehend.
"Who are you? Where do you hail from?"
Following the questions was pure quietness that was interrupted by hoots of the nocturnes perched on the trees surrounding the castle.
Her brows met and heart pounded faster than its normal rate.
"I…"
"Love him, Tomoyo…"
She closed her eyes trying to make the voice in her head go away.
"I…"
"Change him…"
Clenching her fist, she tried to fight it off.
"No. Go away. I do not know." She shouted. Turning back, she headed for exit. She hated being in conflict with something or someone unknown. Everything seemed to form a whirl.
'This is just a dream. Wake me up, grandma. Wake me up, mother.'
A hand grabbed her arm, proving that everything wasn't an illusion. She opened her eyes as someone pulled her close to the strong scent she familiarized herself with.
Ice blue eyes.
The moonlight coming from the room's balcony made her clearly see the stranger's pleas.
He was lonely like her.
He was also longing.
'Those eyes…it can't be those eyes…'
She could now hear her own heart speeding up and her arm slowly melt with his grip.
"Do not avoid my question. Unless you are hiding something…"
She pulled away from his grasp, trying to avoid his intent gaze. Something sparked again as she visualized the eyes that led her to the place. By all means, she kept on repeating that he wasn't him to herself. Tomoyo took one step back to lessen the tension between them and finally, after regaining much strength to face him, bravely locked eyes with the king.
"I do not get why my identity interests you much. You could have killed me anytime, in the first place."
Eriol smirked. He could sense her tension and was amused by how she seemed too natural to hide such emotions.
"Before you came, the stars revealed that whoever would be handed to me unscathed by the sword of my men must be treated humanely for whoever he or she was, she or he would play an important role in my life."
Tomoyo listened as he continued to speak.
"You came, as predicted, and I still don't know why I felt different when I saw you. Maybe it was because…"
She followed where his eyes fixed itself.
It was the lady…
"She was my first love…" Tomoyo heard him choke out his words. Silent sobs followed afterwards and she felt her knees weaken in pity.
"It was my fault. I tried to hate everyone and get revenge. I was alone. I cried alone. I had no one. I wept behind my strong profile."
Tears threatened to fall down from her eyes. She took a step towards him.
"Life is indeed cruel, isn't it?"
He wiped away the salty droplets from his face. It was his turn to listen.
"I never loved anyone except my grandmother. My mother was never with me for a whole day. I learned to hate and to get revenge from my mother's irresponsibility. I acted rude towards others. They moved away whenever I pass. They spoke ill towards me and no one became my friend."
Eriol, shocked, realized that he wasn't the lone person suffering and crying. With his back facing her, he immediately wondered how each came to bare their souls that early. He wondered how they easily understood each other after all the challenging words exchanged and the first heated meeting. He wondered how loneliness could bind persons together. He wondered why she easily made him break down.
Only one person saw him through yet she saw right through him.
"I needed someone to hold me yet no one cradled me. No one."
It was her turn to cry.
Her turn to bare.
'Twas unexpected.
She never knew that she would reveal herself to someone she barely knew…
…to someone as lonely as she was.
"Since we're both lonely…"
He faced her and whispered to her ear.
She froze.
"Hold me."
She gasped and did what her mind dictated her to do thought it was against her heart's will.
"Love him, Tomoyo…"
She hugged him and allowed her to feel his warmth.
They were strangers but he felt too familiar.
It was wrong but it felt too right.
It was too fast but she allowed things to happen since she needed comfort. She needed someone.
He hugged her back as if they knew each other all their lives.
He intended this.
He would conquer her.
He would still seek vengeance no matter how tired he was of living in the pains of the past.
He never expected this to turn out this way…
He never expected to tell her his feelings as a part of his plan.
He knew he would hurt her by making her fall for him…
But…
What if?
"Thank you, my lady. Thank you."
Tomoyo's heart sped up again and she smiled inwardly, finally letting out everything she hid for years.
"It's Tomoyo, your highness."
What if?
What if he would fall in love once again?
"Tomoyo…"
AN: Goody. Goody. I finished the chapter at last. Somehow, I hope some questions have been answered already, although there still parts which may sound confusing. Anyway, I am hoping to finish this anytime soon. I have changed the title by the way…thanks to Ate Ekai
For questions, please e-mail me or visit my journal. Both are in my profile. The reasons for the title change is in the journal.