I got so many requests for more of this that I decided to go ahead and do some more. It's going to be more like a series of short scenes than actual chapters-- I just don't have enough time to devote to the idea for it to be an actual plot-like fic. But hey, it'll be cute. And ha! I even managed a cliffhanger of sorts! Shameless Tsuzuki/Hisoka in this chapter, when you consider that the fic is supposed to be Tatsumi/Watari.

You know, when my human works on his gender transformation potion, the reason he gives is that he wants to experience the joys of motherhood. And I can't help but think who he plans on being the father of this hypothetical child.

Gee, I wonder.

Not that this is the point. It's just a little thing that I was thinking about the other day. The point is that I'm still going out of mind, trying to deal with this obstinately lonely human of mine. You'd think that what I did last time might have done some good, but no, of course not. They've even started avoiding each other! How stupid could they possibly be?

Avoiding someone is not the way to get them to be your mate. Even earthworms are aware of that basic fact. Yet humans are stubbornly persistent when it comes to things like this. Tsuzuki and Hisoka, for example, would often go days without looking at each other, all because one of them had accidentally displayed his affection for the other.

I'm getting distracted again. Yes, despite my best efforts, Tatsumi and my human have been seeing relatively little of each other lately. And when they do see each other, they are both ultra-polite. They don't even bicker! It's extremely strange. And extremely annoying!

Being a bit restricted by the fact that I cannot, in fact, speak, I'm rather at a loss as to how to help.

I'm quickly coming to the conclusion that human courtship is ridiculous. One human expresses an interest in another, and the other then promptly begins this game which I believe is called "playing hard to get." I simply do not understand this human way of thinking. If you know someone is interested in you, and you return the interest, why would you want to risk turning them down?

Of course, I understand that humans are one of a minority of species -- they mate for life, and for pleasure as well as necessity. That cannot be said of many other animals. However, when two people are obviously compatible (as naturally my human and Tatsumi are, or I wouldn't be upset at this) and obviously interested, this game frustrates everyone who is around them.

For example, observe this conversation I overheard the other day. (My human was concocting something in the lab. Usually I stay while he does this, but not only was this dangerous -- it was smelly. I sought better company.)

Tsuzuki-san was speaking to his partner (partner in more ways than one, of course), whom my human refers to as "bon" but I believe is more commonly called Hisoka. "Don't Watari and Tatsumi just drive you nuts?"

Hisoka at this point looked up from the large pile of paperwork that I think he was attempting to make his partner do. "Are they supposed to?"

"They're so . . . so . . . stupid," Tsuzuki-san proclaimed.

Now, I do believe that Tsuzuki-san was being a bit hypocritical here, given that his own romance with Hisoka ran a rather similar pattern. (Which does make me hope for the best.) And apparently Hisoka agreed with me. "I don't really think they're stupid."

"But Watari is obviously interested, and if they don't stop staring at each other across the lunch table, I'll . . . I'll . . ." Tsuzuki-san stopped in what looked like the search for an appropriate threat and came up with: "I'll lose my appetite!"

Hisoka snorted. "Yeah, that'll almost happen."

"But you know what I meeeeeaaaannnn," Tsuzuki-san replied.

Hisoka shrugged. "They'll get together on their own time. You can't blame Tatsumi-san. He's still in love with you." There was no jealousy or suspicion in his tone; it was a matter-of-fact statement. That Hisoka can be pretty smart sometimes -- maybe even worthy to be a bird. Then he looked up and smiled at Tsuzuki-san, which startled me because offhand I don't recall ever having seen Hisoka smile before. "Not that I don't see why . . ."

This progressed to kissing, and I lost interest.

So, see what I mean? Even the most romantically inept can see the problem between Tatsumi and my human. Now, I'll forgive Hisoka for running Tsuzuki around in circles; I've heard the other humans speaking about his childhood enough to recognize trauma when I see it. And yet, even they managed to get together, though they took their sweet time about it.

Of course, I've heard things about a fear of rejection, and even read about it once. (Of course I can read. The Gushoshin can read, and they're chickens -- a species much less generally intelligent than owls. Although to give them credit, they're hardly ordinary farm-variety chickens.) But I don't understand this human propensity to wallow in uncertainty. If my human (or Tatsumi, to be fair), could just say something, their fear of rejection would be over, because they would have either been accepted or rejected.

Not that I'm personally worried about rejection. Actually, I think they must both have paper bags over their heads to not have noticed the other one's interest. Honestly!

I'm getting my feathers all ruffled. I have to remain calm about this!

Fact one: my human believes that Tatsumi is not/will never be interested in him. This is due, mostly, to his prior interest in Tsuzuki-san.

Fact two: Tatsumi is far too straight-laced to ever make any sort of advance on my human. Probably also due to his prior interest in Tsuzuki-san.

Fact three: I have no vocal chords, and thus can't do much to influence either of them. (Unless I can find a way to lock them in a room together. Hm . . . not a bad thought, that.)

Conclusion: Though my mental capacities are not small, I'm having trouble finding any sort of a solution.

I rested upon my salvation early this morning, when I was touring the office building. Tsuzuki-san, oddly enough, is a morning person. Hisoka was impeccably on time as always. They were sitting in the staff room, and Tsuzuki-san was drinking coffee. I had gone in there because there were often donuts, and I was hungry.

"Ohayo!" Tsuzuki-san, polite as always, greets me as I flitter through the door. My human has been here all night, the silly thing, working on a potion. "We were just talking about Watari," he adds to me.

I land on the table and look at him with wise owl-eyes.

"It'll never work," Hisoka says, his tone dire.

"Sure it will!" Tsuzuki-san protests. I'm still looking at him, and he explains to me. That's one of the things I've always liked about Tsuzuki-san -- he treats me like I know what's going on. Which, of course, I do. "See, we're going to try to get him and Tatsumi to date. You think it's a good idea?"

I hoot enthusiastically. Damn this lack of vocal chords.

"You don't even know how you're going to do it," Hisoka says, sounding irritable. I've noted with the two of them that the cuter Tsuzuki-san is being (by human standards, that is), the more irritable Hisoka gets. I wonder why.

"But I'll think of something!" Tsuzuki-san declares happily.

I take my fragment of donut and fly back to the lab. My human is sound asleep, sprawled out all over his desk.

The clock chimes nine. Any minute now, Tatsumi will be in here to wake him up. It's a time-honored tradition.

And oh, the possibilities . . .