I know these scenes are awfully short, but ah... live with it? Also, I know that I'm ignoring the fact that Shinigami can teleport, but I don't think they do it for mundane things like this. It's humor, so I feel I'm entitled to ignore little mistakes like that. ^_^
I'm fortunate in this endeavor that my human is not particularly observant, nor is he particularly careful where he leaves his things. Tatsumi, naturally, is quite observant, but as long as I'm quite he won't notice what I'm doing. I hope.
He comes in looking impeccable as always. There's no sign of hesitation in him, despite his recent practice of avoiding my human whenever possible. As always, he shuts the door behind him when he comes in. No sense in disturbing the others. My human can be loud when woken.
It's a simple matter to fly over and lock the door. Then another simple matter to grab my human's key, fly out the window, circle the building, and jam the key in the lock. Then I have to circle back, which means by the time I get there, my human should be awake.
But he isn't. In fact, Tatsumi is just standing at the edge of the desk, watching him sleep. I'm certainly not about to disturb him intentionally, but he looks up and jumps a little as I come in. He turns slightly pink -- Tatsumi, like Tsuzuki understands that I'm reasonably intelligent -- and clears his throat. Then he leans over and shakes my human by the shoulder.
My human buries his face in his arms. His hair has fallen over his face. "It's okay, I put the Bunsen burner out," he murmured.
Tatsumi gives him a look. "Wake up," he orders sternly.
"But . . . hydrochloric acid is poisonous," my human mutters into his hair.
"Watari-san. It's nine o'clock."
My human sits bolt upright, then grins, looking a little silly. "Ohayo, Tatsumi. Is it time for work already?"
Tatsumi just rolls his eyes and heads for the door. He turns the handle. It won't turn. He jiggles it, tries to unlock it, and comes to the conclusion that he's stuck. "Ano . . . Watari-san . . . have you been having trouble with your door?"
My human slides his glasses on and looks bewildered. "What? No . . . what's wrong?"
"It won't open." Tatsumi tugs on it harder, but still no luck.
My human shrugs. "Break it."
Tatsumi looks at him, aghast, and pushes his glasses up on his nose. "And waste departmental funds by having it replaced? I think not."
"Oh." My human looks like he's holding back giggles. "Guess you're stuck in here with me, then!" he says cheerfully. "That's okay, I could use some help on this experiment anyway . . ."
Tatsumi looks decidedly nervous at this statement and eyes the open window. "Maybe one of us should crawl outside and see if we can spot the problem from the hallway."
My human glances at the window. I can tell he's having a mental image of Tatsumi trying to squeeze through it. I know this because his face is rapidly turning a bright shade of red. "Ah, I'll go," he says quickly. I might mention here that though the windows are perfectly fine for me, they are a bit tight for a regular human. Hisoka would be able to fit through one, I'm fairly sure, but for Tatsumi and my human, it's a bit dubious.
Tatsumi looks relieved and shoves a table over so my human can reach. He does. He fits through his head. By angling carefully, he gets his shoulders through. And then . . . gets stuck.
"Ano . . ." his voice floats back inside. "I can't get through."
Tatsumi eyes the situation. "Try turning slightly to the right."
"Oh, easy for you to say," my human retorts, squirming around. Tatsumi's face is rapidly turning red as well. Given that my human is halfway through the window, I'm sure you can tell what Tatsumi is staring at it. "Give me a push!"
"A push?" Tatsumi asks helplessly, staring at the one part of my human available to him.
"Yes!"
"But . . ." Tatsumi's face is getting redder by the minute.
"Don't be so damn squeamish! You'd be saying the same if you were the one trapped in the window!"
"Aa . . ." Tatsumi gives up on being dignified, plants his hands firmly on my human's posterior, and gives him a shove.
He doesn't move.
"Aw, man . . ."
Tatsumi yanks his hands away as if they were burned. "Now what?"
"Pull me back in!"
Tatsumi grabs him by the feet and pulls him back in. That, at least, is successful. At first. "Ow, don't pull so fast!" my human protests, trying to angle his shoulders properly. Tatsumi stops pulling, and my human gets inside. He promptly loses his balance, goes tumbling off the table, and knocks Tatsumi over on his way down.
It's a good thing I can't laugh, or I would've split my sides open by now.
"Oof," my human says.
Tatsumi, who is flat on his back with my human sprawled out on top of him, concurs.
"Hey, guys?" The door opens and Tsuzuki walks in. "The key was stuck in the lock. How did . . . that . . . hap . . . pen . . ." Tsuzuki's voice grows more and more faint as he takes in the scene before him.
My human springs to his feet, his face the color of a ripe tomato. "Er -- I -- that is -- it's not what you -- "
Tsuzuki just blinks at them, wide-eyed.
Tatsumi, in a very dignified manner, gets to his feet and straightens himself. "We couldn't get the door open," he says, explaining in a very rational tone of voice that suggests that Tsuzuki had damn well better believe him. "I was attempting to assist Watari-san to climb out the window. He . . . slipped, and fell."
"Uh huh," Tsuzuki says, blinking at them. Then he slowly looks at me, and begins to smile. I think he's just figured out how the door was jammed.
"What's so funny?" my human grumbles, trying to regain his injured dignity.
"Nothing!" Tsuzuki says brightly. "I'll just leave you two to it, okay?" And he bounces back out of the room, and shuts the door. And yes, you guessed it -- jams the key again. He's evil sometimes. I like him.
"He didn't just . . .!" Tatsumi walks over briskly and starts banging on the door. "Tsuzuki-san! You let us out of here this instant! I . . . I'll dock your pay!"
But there's no answer. Tsuzuki is undoubtedly gone. Either that or he's eavesdropping.
"Well, guess we may as well make the best of it," my human says brightly, dropping back into his chair. He withdraws a sandwich from one of the drawers -- I don't even want to know how long that's been in there -- and starts to munch contentedly.
Tatsumi sighs. "I suppose the next person who finds us will be a little more understanding." There's an evil glint in his eye which does not speaking well for what's going to happen the next time he sees Tsuzuki. Well, that isn't my fault.
"Sure you don't want to break the door?" my human offers.
Tatsumi gives him a look. "I don't hate your company that much," he grumbles.
My human grins. "Aw, Tatsumi . . . that's so sweet."
Tatsumi turns the color of a tomato. Even though the next half hour passes in stony silence while my human goes about his business, until Hisoka figures out what his partner did and comes to let them out, I couldn't be happier with my progress.
~~~
Coming up next -- Tsuzuki puts his own personal plan into action.
