I'm writing this in a really bad mood, so if it isn't as light-hearted and cheery as the rest, um... forgive me? This scene was inspired by the fic "The Lollipop Incident", which is an extremely funny fic that you should all go read. Right now.
You would think after that, things might get better. And yet, no. They go right back to their silly little patterns of avoiding each other constantly. I'm beginning to think I should blow something up, if only because my human would have to go talk to Tatsumi about getting money to replace it.
However, I have a feeling that I might get in trouble for that. So for now, I'm letting it go, mostly because I'm curious to see what Tsuzuki and Hisoka have planned. Because after Tsuzuki left them locked in the office, I can see that he is just as devious as I am.
My human works too much these days. It's his way of avoiding the staff room, I think. I insisted that he go have lunch in human company today. Don't ask how I insisted this -- it's a specialty I've managed to hone after years in his company. He knows when I want him to do something.
The staff room here where everyone eats lunch consists of a long, rectangular table. Tsuzuki and Hisoka are sitting at the far end of it when my human waltzes in, sitting much closer together than can really be considered proper etiquette at the work place. Tatsumi is maybe halfway down the table. No one else is here yet. Or perhaps they've already been and gone. That's more likely. My human is always late. Tatsumi takes his lunch break whenever he gets a free minute. And Tsuzuki is lazy and takes a long time, and probably has persuaded Hisoka to stay a few extra minutes.
While he eats his chocolate cake, of course.
Under normal circumstances (normal meaning a few weeks ago), my human would have taken the chair across from Tatsumi. But now, of course he can't manage that. He takes a seat a few chairs down, closer to Tsuzuki and Hisoka.
Tsuzuki nudges Hisoka, and grins. I think he has a plan afoot. Hisoka glances at him, and rolls his eyes just slightly. It's more like an eighth of a roll.
"What's up?" my human greets them, grinning excitedly.
"Not much," Tsuzuki says innocently. He reaches into his bag and pulls out a little Tupperware. "Hisoka made me chocolate cake," he adds, and gives the boy a sweet smile. Hisoka predictably turns red up to the tips of his ears and mutters a disclaimer.
"It wasn't really for you," he says.
"But you haven't eaten any of it yet," Tsuzuki says. "Which is why I brought this piece to lunch today." He takes out a fork with the flair of any showman, and gets a mouthful onto it. "Close your eyes and open your mouth."
"Tsu-zu-kiiii," Hisoka protests.
"Nani?" Tsuzuki asks, smiling.
Hisoka leans closer. My keen owl ears enable me to hear, "Not in front of everyone." My human just blinks at the two of them. Tatsumi, at his end of the table, is looking uncomfortable with the entire situation. In fact, I think he's considering leaving.
"It's just cake," Tsuzuki says innocently.
Hisoka just gives him a look. Oh, there's that eye rolling again. Then he closes his eyes and opens his mouth.
Tsuzuki slowly -- so slowly that it can only be slow on purpose -- delivers the fork in his mouth. I notice Tatsumi shifting uncomfortably again, as Hisoka's lips close on the fork and it, still slowly, slides out of his mouth.
My human is staring at them. Though, for him, he's doing it very surreptitiously indeed. Usually his eyes would just be falling out of his head, which means that he really doesn't want anyone to notice that he's watching.
"Is it good?" Tsuzuki asked, in a hushed voice. My human and Tatsumi both shift again. Must be something about the way he said it. Hisoka is still sitting there with half-lidded eyes, and he nods. "Want more?" Tsuzuki asks. It occurs to me suddenly that because some enterprising soul (probably Wakaba) has put a plastic tablecloth on the table, we cannot see anything below Hisoka and Tsuzuki's respective mid-chest. Well, that's enough to make me wonder.
Apparently it's making the others wonder as well. Tatsumi lets out an odd half-cough, and goes back to studying his lunch with great intensity. My human takes off his glasses and polishes them earnestly.
Tsuzuki feeds him another mouthful. And another. I fly around the room a little, enough to see that Tsuzuki's hand is most definitely resting on Hisoka's thigh. Honestly, it's a wonder the two of them ever get any work done.
But I really don't understand why my human and Tatsumi are so uptight about. It's a normal thing, or so I was led to understand, to mate with your partner. Tatsumi and my human must know intellectually that Tsuzuki and Hisoka would be physically affectionate with each other. Why is this display making them so uncomfortable?
Humans, really. They're so silly.
Tatsumi clears his throat when the cake is about halfway gone. Tsuzuki has been feeding Hisoka for at least a good five minutes. "You know, you two, this is the staff room. This seems a bit more . . . private . . . than you're making it."
Tsuzuki turns and gives Tatsumi an adorably clueless look. "Is it bothering you?"
"Certainly not!" Tatsumi says, so quickly that of course we all know that it's bothering him immensely. Tsuzuki has to stifle a grin. Even my human is smiling, though he wasn't faring so well under the tension either. Hisoka just looks sort of dazed. This must be some human thing I don't understand.
Now what would any sensible human do in my human's place? You're right. He would leave the room, or at least not say anything. But no, my human has to chime in with, "Are you sure about that, Tatsumi?"
Tatsumi gives him an icy glare. "It's not bothering me if it's not bothering you," he says, sounding annoyed.
My human shifts in his chair slightly. "Of course it's not bothering me," he says, doing a much better job of lying than Tatsumi had done. Honestly, you can barely tell. Of course, we have an empath in the room, but he doesn't seem to be paying much attention. Tsuzuki has gone back to feeding him cake.
"Your face is awfully red, considering that it isn't bothering you," Tatsumi retorts. Which naturally only causes my human to blush more.
"You're the one who couldn't sit still for more than three consecutive seconds," my human shoots back. This is getting interesting. I land on a chair to look on. "But of course it's not bothering you, because nothing ever bothers you. Sometimes I think you have ice water in your veins instead of blood."
"Yes, and I'm sure you notice, because you're just the most perceptive person to ever grace the Meifu," Tatsumi says, his voice practically raining sarcasm down on all of us. I resist the urge to bite his ear. Call me biased, but that was mean.
"Hey, quit it," Tsuzuki says, surprised at what his little game has wrought.
Tatsumi gives him a look. "You started it," he snarls, and marches out of the office.
"What's he mean, I started it?" Tsuzuki asks piteously.
"You started it and you damn well know it," my human retorts, and storms out himself. Wonderful, now they're both in horrible moods and angry with each other to boot. This seems to have been a step backwards.
Tsuzuki blinks at Hisoka. "You want the rest of the cake?" he asks uncertainly.
Hisoka pushes back from the table. "You need to learn that you can't fix everything the way you'd like it," he says, sounding irritated. Then he leaves the room as well. Tsuzuki is left sitting there with half a piece of cake and a fork, looking bewildered.
He turns to me. I think he understands why my human and Tatsumi were angry, but he doesn't know why he's upset his younger partner. "What'd I do?"
I ruffle my feathers at him. I certainly have no clue. Humans, who can deal with them?
