Replies:

Silindro: Of course she's going to kill him. Have patience.

distractedyoyo: He did set a guard…Whisper kinda trampled him. I guess I didn't make that clear.

Artemis-chan: Here's what Faramir did…heeheehee. God, it's fun to be evil.

AUROR198: Don't worry…you'll get your mushy reunion. Eventually. After much more angst. Ought to make that the secondary category, except this is a bit too light-hearted for angst.

Here's Faramir being stupid and Wormtongue being annoying. Enjoy!

Chapter Eight: Idiocy

Looking back on the events I now tell, I can say with absolute conviction that it was sheer idiocy that brought me to be captured. That, and the fact that my heart died a little more with every passing hour that we found no trace of Éowyn. They say that love is idiocy. It is certainly blind.

I neglected to set a watch the night of the attack. I don't know why. Perhaps I was too caught up with worrying about Éowyn, or perhaps I assumed that they would not leave outriders. Well, we all know what assuming leads to, and in this case, it led to disaster.

They came fast, with no warning until one of the men screamed. I was up instantly, my hand going to my sword. Around me, men on horseback tangled with my men. Widfara was attacking a rather large man who smelled bad, and several of the trackers huddled in a tight knot, defending themselves from a company of men who leered and taunted. No one seemed to be in any particular trouble except me, all alone, on the ground, with only my sword.

Someone came up behind me: the only warning I had was his stench drifting by my nose. If he hadn't been downwind of me I would very possibly have been killed. I whirled and met his sword with mine, fighting only to defend myself. A sound from behind me, and now I was fighting two, with no way to escape...

Something crashed upon my head and there was blackness.

When I woke, I was tied to a horse, the pommel of the saddle punching me in the stomach with every jolt and jounce of the horse's trot. I found my breath driven from my lungs, and I fought to breathe. Finally, the horse stopped, and the man riding behind me grabbed my hair, forcing my head up. "Our captive, my lord."

"Only one?" The voice was disgusting, slimy, and faintly familiar...

"Only one, but what a good one!" someone else chuckled, nastily. I concentrated on getting my breath back and wondering if they would take me to Éowyn.

Another hand grabbed my chin and yanked my face towards its owner. I recognized the face immediately and could not hide a spasm of hatred. "Wormtongue."

"Indeed," he said, his face dark for some reason. "Am I to assmue that you are here to take what I have rightfully stolen?"

"If you mean the lady Éowyn, she is not yours to steal, and not anyone's to take," I said, trying to gather my scattered wits.

"Yes, I meant her, and of course she's mine. She's a woman, chattel." I bit my lip, hard. Oh, how I wanted to kill this man. Being bound up does have its disadvantages. "It doesn't matter, anyway," Wormtongue continued. "What have you done with her?"

"Nothing," I said, gritting my teeth. "You took her."

"I did, but the stupid wench escaped!" Well. Of course. Stupid me. I should have known Éowyn wouldn't sit around and wail for rescue. She'd get herself out of there. Brilliant, Faramir, you go off to rescue a woman who doesn't need rescuing and get yourself captured.

For a brief moment, I was glad my brother wasn't alive anymore. The mere thought of his teasing on this subject was too much to bear.

Wormtongue interpreted my silence as insolence and slapped me across the face. "Tie him up. We'll hold him hostage in exchange for her." He chuckled nastily. "The king of Rohan can do without his sister...I hear he is to marry. But Gondor cannot live without her Steward."

Brilliant, Faramir. Just brilliant.