LUKE

Of course Luke had secrets. He had secrets from Lorelai, from his mom, from his dad, and hopefully not in that order. He had secrets from Jess, and everyone related to him in some way. But he didn't have secrets from Kirk.

Luke held on tighter to the pot of coffee he was holding and let out a big sigh. He bit his tongue, trying to snap himself out of what he was thinking.

Kirk was not a threat to anyone. Kirk didn't always wear a belt, and sometimes his pants slipped down to reveal undies with rockets on them, and Why am I thinking about this? Luke muttered shaking his head and looking sick.

Kirk was just Kirk. Nothing else. Luke was surprised that he even had a last name. So Kirk was not the type to know things….

When Luke was younger, his mother had always pointed out how much he did this: his paranoia, his need to over-analyze every little thing; to be more than a tough-on-the-outside-soft-on-the-inside type of guy. His mother was possibly the only person who had seen his overwhelming insecurity, which could only make him more insecure. Was Lorelai like his mom? When you got married, you were supposed to find someone like your mom, but how was that even possible?

Taylor dropped his teaspoon with a loud clank.

"Oops, Luke, I'm so sorry. Didn't mean to disturb. Continue your coffee-pouring."

"Taylor! Luke shouted.

"Well, you don't have to get snippy about it. Humph." He muttered something to himself.

With Jess around now, blaring that indie new wave crap all the time, Luke didn't have very much time to concentrate. He'd stopped reading the newspaper, using all his free time to just think. Last week he'd even broken out his old turntable, going through his dad's collection of Sinatra. Every night after Jess was asleep and snoring, Luke put on headphones and lay back on his bed listening to the music, peaceful with the notes slipping over each other like beads of oil. He'd bought an electric tuner for his guitar, too…he was ready to play again.

By now the diner was almost empty except for a few folks sipping their last bits of coffee and tea. Luke rested himself against the counter and watched the door. It was eleven A.M, way past the Gilmore feeding time. They weren't exactly early-birds, but still.

Jess joined him behind the counter and assumed the same position. Luke hoped that soon he would be able to tell Jess how they were alike. Someone had to be the one to tell him. Luke didn't have anyone to tell him things about himself anymore, and to reassure that the sky was blue. It was one of those neglected things in his mind that he only thought of once he knew that the opportunity had faded. He turned to look at Jess and watched him until Jess rolled his eyes and shifted. He took up his book again and Luke grinned. This is what it was about. If this is what kids was, then it would be great one day. Really great.

"So," Luke said open-ended to Jess.

Jess looked up from his book and gave Luke that classic, I'm-waiting-for-you-to-inspire-me look.

"So what?"

"Nothin'." Luke said, turning away. "Where is everyone today?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"It was a rhetorical question."

"Since when do you ask those?"

Luke narrowed his eyes at Jess. "You're in a particularly...you mood today."

"You don't need me down here, do you?" Jess picked up his book and went toward the curtain that led upstairs. Luke followed.

"You're following me?" Jess asked.

"Yeah, I'm following you." They were in the apartment and Jess kicked aside a piece of plastic on the floor left from the renovations. He sank down on the couch. "You're a great kid, Jess."

"Are you kidding me?" he said with a fake look of sickness on his face.

"No, really. You're a great kid and I bet that no one's ever told you that before."

"Actually, you're wrong. But he wanted too much money for my 'services', so I told him to beat it."

"I don't want you to be regretful one day that you missed something."

"Missed what?"

"I don't know. Anything."

"Well, if I'm missing something, I can't do anything about it."

"Sure you can."

Jess started to move the parts in his mouth around, and he sat with his head on his fist, looking like a more serious Gary Coleman.

Luke sat beside him on the couch. "You can learn from my mistakes."

"You've made mistakes?" Jess said in a sing-song voice.

"Yeah, I've made mistakes, and I don't want you to make the same ones."

"Why do you care?"

"'Cause you're my nephew."

"Oh, that's a great reason."

"'Cause you're my nephew and you know why. So just listen, okay? Don't do anything stupid that you know is stupid to try and rebel and be tough 'cause I tried that and it didn't work."

"Whatever."

"You could try finding a new catchphrase, too." Luke said.

Jess opened the door to the stairs and Luke followed. "Hey, we're not finished here! I've got tons of stuff to say to you, Jess, so you're not going anywhere until I'm finished—"

They stepped in time together down the staircase - Luke noticed that happened a lot - and there were Lorelai and Rory.

"I don't want to talk to Kirk," Rory said.

"Well, the last time I tried, I ended up in tears."

"It's not that bad," Rory said.

"It's not that bad! Rory!" Suddenly Lorelai turned around and saw Luke and Jess standing there.

"Hi," Lorelai said with a fake-looking smile. Luke noticed that Taylor was gone.

"Hi," Luke said. "Rory."

She looked down. A knot began to form in Luke's stomach. He saw himself somewhere on a slippery floor and he was sliding towards a big hole, and he couldn't stop…it was a pesky little image, showing up in dreams he wanted to forget.

"Coffee?" Luke offered as a stock question, but he made no move to pour any.

"You have to ask?" Lorelai sat down at the counter and Rory followed.

"Hey," Jess said to her seriously, leaning forward. Rory smiled kind of, but then looked away.

"Are you hungry, Rory?" Luke said to Rory as sincerely as he could make the words sound.

She shook her head and looked at Lorelai who had a sad, apologetic expression on her face. Rory's eyes began to water and she began breathing heavily until she was crying. Luke stood back and so did Jess as they watched Lorelai take Rory's head into her arms.

"What's wrong?" Luke said firmly.

"It's just..." Lorelai began, and she looked away.

"Is it Kirk? What did he do? He was just in here, what did he do?"

"It's complicated," Lorelai said in broken words. "I know that sounds lame, but, I don't know how to explain."

"I'll go find him right now," Luke said in a determined voice. He headed for the door.

"Luke, wait!" Lorelai cried.

Luke turned around while holding on to the doorknob. "He was just here," he repeated. "He came in and sat down right there, and he was up to something?" He didn't understand what real mayhem Kirk could cause. He didn't want that little worm of suspicion to keep snaking up his throat like it had been since Kirk had come in earlier. "It is Kirk, isn't it?"

"He didn't do anything," Lorelai said staring at the wall. "He didn't know. How could anyone know?"

"Lorelai, know what?" he said

She turned her head to where Luke gestured at Kirk's table. That's when Luke saw it. How had he not seen that sitting there? Taylor had been sitting there. Lorelai continued to stare over at the table.

"Is that it?" he asked Lorelai.

"Is that what? I don't know. Let me see it."

Luke brought the notebook to Lorelai and Rory sat up to look over her mother's shoulder while Luke stood back. He saw that Jess was still there with a blank, frustrated look on his face.

Lorelai opened the notebook and looked over the first few pages.

"I wish I could wake up," Rory said.

"Me, too, honey."

"Maybe we will."

"Yeah, maybe."

Luke could feel tingles through his numbness. "What are you talking about? What's going on?"

"I don't know," Lorelai said with a sad smile. She wiped a tear from her cheek and Luke's heart skipped a beat. "We just...oh, we really shouldn't be crying in a diner, Rory."

"Can I see what's in there?" Luke asked tentatively, looking towards the notebook Lorelai held limply in her hands.

"Sure, why not? What's left to lose? Except my dignity, my pride, my ability to ever come back in here again..." She gave the small pad to Luke. "Don't look at it until we leave, all right?"

"What's in there?"

"Oh, you know – stuff."

"Sure."

"Come on, honey," Lorelai said, and she took Rory's hand as they walked out of the diner. The door slammed and they were alone again in some quiet, piercing buzzing sound.

"What's in there?" Jess asked. He wasn't looking very tough now.

"I'm not sure that I want to know."

"Something that Kirk wrote?" Jess asked. He didn't want to believe it, and neither did Luke.

"Right there's his name: Kirk Edward Gleason. Wouldn't you know his initials spell 'keg'?"

"I'll do it." Jess said evenly. "How big a deal could it be?"

"They were crying." Luke looked him in the eye.

Jess picked up the notebook and went upstairs. Luke would wait for a sound.