***

"It's all right to make mistakes you're only human." – Dido "Slide"

***

Invader Nia stared out the porthole window, gazing down at the planet spinning beneath her. After many years of its vast presence filling her everyday, she passed off its inherent beauty with the same sort of aimless dismissal as one did a large rock. For all she cared, the Earth could have been spewing lava from countless volcanoes and it still produced the same emotional effect. Or rather the lack of one. Her mind registered its awesome vitality, held it for what it was in her knowledge and noted it as casually as ever. Earth/job to do/incredible bane of her existence. Often she wondered why she allowed herself to get saddled with such bad deals in life and time again taught her it had never been her choice to make. This was the Irken Empire. You were what you were told to be and you went where you were told to go. No questions asked. The way it was.

But thanks to those stink-beasts down there, their individualist propaganda turned civilized Irkens into freethinking morons, she thought. What good was exercising an identity if birth already dictated what you were? It made no sense.

Being stuck here in a steel can of tunnels with a questionably sane ringleader of the invasion made even less sense.

"This was never in my job description," she mumbled turning her gaze from the teal magnificence shining in her green eyes. Grumbling unintelligibly she made her way through the vessel. Damn she was bored. It seemed everyone here had a job to do, even if it was using spit and wax to clean off the Voot Cruiser. She despised that hunk of outdated scrap metal. Why Zim bothered keeping the ancient artifact for active use wasn't the best idea. Just looking at it made her fight back gales of laughter.

Passing by Zim's personal chamber, she made a mildly surprising discovery. The door was open. Peeking in she let her eyes rove over the inside. No one home. Best guess was Zim was off being "busy." Yelling at people, having a snack, taking a walk or inspecting every room in his hypochondriac manner for anything that was out of place. The usual freaky 101.

Nia checked both corridors and then stepped into the room. Placing each foot carefully before the other as not to make a sound, she approached the semi-circle of computer monitors. One big monitor sat in the middle, reserved for calling the Tallest likely, she figured.

Roving over all the buttons and switches, Nia wondered why she was in here. It wasn't like Zim possessed anything of special value and she desired nothing of his. Except perhaps for one secret. She had to admit though she cared little for the earth resident, after encountering him and then bearing witness to Zim's oddly emotional refusal to divulge his obsession's secret, it nagged at her. Intrigued her even.

But how would staring at a bunch of computer monitors tell her that? Zim wasn't the kind to record his FEELINGS via log entries. If he did he wouldn't let it be ready for public access either. Though Nia was a reasonably good computer technician, she lacked the drive to hack into the network – at least not without a real need to.

She doubted he HAD feelings anyway.

Oh well. She gave a mental shrug and stared at the monitors. For the moment, the satellite cameras were trained on the smoldering cinders of the aptly named Area 51 or its better known (and more mind boggling) moniker 'Groom Lake.' Why call it a lake? She thought scanning the screens. I see no water.

By the Tallest, the armada had done a number on it. It was the worst amount of destruction she'd seen on ANY planet. On the other hand, it came as no real shock. If there was one thing that lousy Zim was any good at, it was destroying things.

"His only saving grace," she muttered walking slowly by each monitor, making pause to regard each one. For each location on the base, for each fire there was a different scene. Humans here and there, walking around, standing in groups, Irken rebels doing much of the same. Mostly dull scenes of things being cleaned up and fires being put out. Boring. Nia made ready to leave when something caught the corner of her eye. One of the screens.

She squinted. There was a figure on the last screen moving across a field. Coming closer she touched a switch and had the camera zoom in. Her eyes went wide. "It's the Dib-human," she whispered. Spurred on by instinct she set the camera to track him. Eventually the human stopped. Stood there. If his body posture was anything to go by, the man was in complete defeat. Shoulders down, head low, eyes to the ground. It was quite a contrast to the defiant creature she'd last seen.

He suddenly turned his head skyward. Even though it was impossible for him to see the camera, his gaze into it was dead on. "Oh shit," she whispered thinking for one crazy minute he actually could see HER. Sense snapped back and she shook her head.

The human spread his arms in a presenting manner. "Hey! Zim!" he shouted. "I know you can see me! You getting some kind of kick out of this?!" He gestured to the distant fires. "HUH?! Well, you know what? Fuck you! You hear me? FUCK YOU!" By the time he reached the end of it, he was sobbing. "Son of a bitch," he cried more quietly. "I'm going to blow my brains out. I swear to God I'm gonna fucking kill myself."

Nia drew closer to his image. There were tears on his face and his eyes…. They scared her. Nothing scared her and yet the darkness in him rivaled the surrounding night. His head dropped down and then he brought it up again. Involuntarily she brought her hand up to the screen and touched it.

"You better come get me yourself." He spoke slowly, sadly. "I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be around for you to fuck with anymore." She heard his voice catch on the last three words. Then he left the field, each step as if he thought to take his last.

Nia realized what she was doing and where her hand was. Taking it off, she spat in disgust. Not at him but for him actually thinking screaming at the sky to a highly dubious source of sympathy would solve anything on his part. Showing that kind of weakness to Zim – not a smart move.

She grinned. "This is perfect."

Nia plunged deep into thought. There were so many weaknesses humans possessed. She of course knew and exploited many of them, especially the fear-based kind. But there had been a line many Irkens dared not cross when it came to dealing with humans. No Irken except for Zim had broken the unspoken taboo when it came to humans. She hadn't seen what he had done to that Gaz human but she'd heard it. Even all these years later, she remembered it clearly.

She'd been walking by when she'd heard sounds coming from behind a door to a room where prisoners were normally brought for interrogation or torture. Her curiosity getting the better of her, she had come close and listened.

"….stop, please…." There was a whimper of what sounded like pain. "Why are you doing this?" A scream exploded and Nia jerked back in fear. When it died way, she heard someone answer – and she was surprised to hear Zim's voice. He almost never interrogated humans. She drew close again.

"It's nothing personal. I was saving this for your brother but you will do until I capture him."

There was a sound of a strangled gasp.

"It hurts worse if you fight it, Gaz."

"Please let me go . . . "

"I will. Eventually."

There was the sound of the human gasping and moaning. "You're a bastard." It sounded like a sob.

"Names don't bother me, stink-beast." Zim's voice was coming close to the door. Realizing he was going to open it, Nia hurried and hid behind a large food cart. Zim came out and closed the door behind him. Peeking, Nia watched him. He took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck. "That wasn't much fun," he muttered. "She only screamed once." 

A voice interrupted her introspection.

"What are you doing?"

Nia gave a guilty start but by the time she turned to face him, her face was passive and her posture ramrod straight. For good measure she twitched her antenna in a half-hearted manner. It was futile to show appeasement when she knew full well he would see it for the lie that it was. However on the issues of protocol, it didn't hurt.

"Looking at the monitors."

Zim closed the door behind him. For a second he leaned his back against it, bracing it with his claws. He narrowed his eyes and came toward her, his intense suspicion a full body occupant. "I don't believe you."

Nia showed her palms. He actually took one of her wrists and made her stand still while he checked her uniform's pockets. He appeared to relax when he didn't find anything. He let her go.

"Regardless of what your motivations are, I'm glad you are here," Zim began after a second of mutual hostile silence. "I have a job for you."

Nia eyed him. "Is this the same job?"

"Sort of." Zim went to his chair and climbed on it, although he had some difficulty doing so. Nia hid a smile. Settling down, he folded his fingers together under his chin. "However we're going to go about it a little more . . . intelligently." He paused for thought. "I have been doing some thinking."

Oh no, he's not going to confide in me is he?

He took his time, debating his choice of words. "I have realized the reason for my failure at capturing the Dib-human is all previous attempts have been too . . I dunno . . . obvious.

I did not allow for unforeseen obstacles."

In other words, Nia thought, you're admitting I'm right.

"Since it seems," he continued, "that you have a better understanding of how he seems to work than I do." Pause. "That's weird." He went on. "I'm going to allow you to use your own judgement on this one."

Nia found it hard to keep from grinning. Finally. FINALLY. Zim had a brain after all.

"Employ whatever method you feel is necessary. Be sure to bring him in alive - I don't care if he's within an inch of meeting his human maker - I just want a pulse." Zim's claws dug into his chair. His eyes had blackness to their crimson depths. If Nia didn't know he could be nonchalant on a whim, it would have frightened her.

Nia ventured a question. "Why the sudden change, sir?"

The male Irken spoke in a low tone. "That earth-monkey has been beating me at my own game for far too long. He fails to amuse me with his clever stupidity. It's all one to me who he is now - I only know he's Dib. That's all I need to know." He looked Nia in the eye. "Can I trust you won't screw this up again?"

"Yes sir."

"Because don't bother coming back if you fail." Zim leaned in to her. "I would hate to have to destroy you. I don't like you enough to destroy you."

Why not? Nia wanted to challenge. But she didn't want to mess up this absolute freedom he was giving her. If he only knew how easy it was going to be . . . if he had seen what she saw.

Plus she had a plan. An amazing plan. It would take a lot of time to put together and a lot of patience but if all went well, it would be worth it.

Zim sat back in his seat and flopped a hand casually. "Eh, that's all. Run along….good luck….all that stuff. Oh and again remember don't come back if you fail."

Nia saluted and left the chamber, allowing for the wide grin she'd kept inside to stretch across her face. Zim would rue the day he appointed her. Rue it like he'd never rued before.

***

POP!

The can popped off, struck a lower branch and then clattered to the ground.

Dib slightly shifted his aim. He squeezed the trigger.

POP! The other can went skyward.

"Goes the weasel," he muttered, grinning. Checking his ammo, Dib crossed the thicket to retrieve the cans.

Four weeks after Groom Lake met its untimely end - with the hundred or so lives with it - Dib found himself on the run again. This time he made absolutely certain NO ONE would be able to find him. He made sure his next hiding spot was remote - away from other humans and Irkens. Picking an old abandoned military bunker in the Appalachian Mountain range out on the East coast (that's how far away from Groom Lake he was determined to get even though he had only a helicopter to bring him there) it took a while for Dib to adjust. Living around trees and cooler temperatures was quite a change from the sand and hotter than hell conditions. Here he was lucky if a patch of sunlight made it though the canopy.

He was also lucky the Irkens hadn't discovered this place.

Dib would have gone alone. In fact if he had really made one hell of an insistence on it, he might have gotten his wish. But Dib hated being alone - hated it. So when Gaz put her foot down against his protests she better served the cause being with the resistance (and their dad), he let her come with him. Besides it was for the better. Dib was insanely protective of her - and his own father's begging Gaz to go with him only added to it. It would have been just them but someone else heard about Dib running off and tossed his lot into the exile too. Someone he hadn't expected.

As Dib bent down to retrieve the old empty cans once containing low-fat beef stew, from upside down and between his legs he spotted an Irken in a purple uniform. Without moving, Dib waved. "Hi Spunk."

Spunk tilted his head to the side and eyed the human. "Very graceful."

Dib straightened up, blinking hard. Whoa. Head rush. He turned around and held up a can that had a dead center hole through it. "Bulls eye."

Spunk rolled his eyes and gave him a less-than-enthused applause. "You never quit it, do you?"

Dib shrugged. "Hey, what else am I supposed to do around here?" He threw the can down again. "This place is dead."

"Dead?" Spunk was scandalized. He pointed at the trees. "Are THOSE dead?" He pointed to a flower. "Is THAT dead?" He finished by pointing to a chipmunk. "Is that furry whatever-it-is-thing dead?" Spunk's eyes shone and he spread his arms to the canopy. "This place…..!" Sigh. "You humans will never learn to appreciate the beauty of your own planet. If your history has anything to say for itself, it's a rather bitter indictment."

"What about Irk?" Dib challenged not unkindly. "Instead of cleaning up the mess you made, you just left it there to rot." Dib perched on the log the cans had sat on. Spunk came and joined him. "Hate to say this Spunk but I think we humans have a one-up on you Irkens. At least on the whole staying-on-your-own-planet-and-dealing-with-it thing."

Invader Spunk shrugged and swung his legs back and forth. Dib smiled. Irkens were like children. They could be explaining a dead serious military strategy while twirling a pen around and even chewing on it. At least, that's what Spunk did.

"So…. what's my sister up to?"

"Hunting."

"Hunting?"

"You know." Spunk mimed aiming a rifle. "Boom! She said she wanted to bag a 'rabbit.'" He looked at Dib. "What's a rabbit?"

"Small furry creature. Big buck teeth, long ears, short fluffy tail and long legs. Fast suckers."

"Oh!" Spunk brightened. "Okay, I think I've seen one before. They're like mice and rats right?"

"No. They have similar features but they don't belong to the same species/class/order thing." Dib couldn't believe they were talking about this. "Anyway. How long ago she did she leave?"

"Approximately fifteen minutes." A distant gunshot echoed through the forest. It was probably no further away than sixty to seventy yards. "I believe that's her."

Dib was worried. "I hope so."

Spunk waved it off. "It was her. The Empire would not resort to using such primitive weapons. Such as it is, you're the one they're after."

It was the human's turn to roll his eyes. "Geez, no shit." He got to his feet. "Hey Spunk, I got a question for you."

Spunk jumped down. "Shoot."

Dib slipped his gun back into its holster attached to his belt. "Why'd you come with us? I've been knocking it about in my head since we've been here and I haven't been able to come up with a guess."

Spunk shrugged. "I dunno."

"Oh come on. No one just up and runs with the Universe's Most Wanted life form without a good reason!"

Spunk tilted his head and stuck his tongue out between his sharp teeth. "We-ell, hmm. You saved my life, you were the best co-pilot I've ever had and well, you're easier to talk to than most humans."

Dib shook his head. "Ah, I was just doing my job."

Spunk impaled him with a Look. "There's a fine line between the things you do for a job and the things you do because it's in your nature."

"Really?" Dib's eyebrows jumped. "That's pretty insightful, Spunk."

The Irken feigned modestly. "Oh it's not. I just read a lot of human literature." He smiled. "No, I mean this in the most truthful sense, Dib. Saying you're only doing your job is an excuse. Admit it, sometimes you think some of us Irkens are all right."

Dib cracked a smile. "You got that right." It was so hard to smile these days anymore – Michelle's death had just made it even harder. This one came as close as it ever did to being genuine. "I can see why you deserted the Empire, Spunk. You don't think like Zim."

Spunk clenched his teeth. "Because I'm NOT freakin' Zim. Oh sure, I LOOK a lot like him but trust me, we couldn't be more different." Spunk and Dib started to make their way back to the bunker. "I know it sounds ignorant to say this but I wouldn't want to be you for all the world."

"That's all right. I don't want to be me for all the world either," Dib quipped. It sent them both laughing.

They came to a split path. Spunk patted Dib on the leg. "I'm heading back inside. I want to keep an eye on that monitor. Go see if your sister's coming back this way, we don't want her wandering too far."

Dib winked. "Yes Mom."

Spunk just made a face and went running back uphill toward the tiny old structure built right into the side of the hill. Dib watched him ascend, slipping his hands into his pockets. So many things were changing all the time. Never in a million years would he have imagined he'd be right where he was now. Not on the run . . . Hehe, that seemed right from birth a given in his crazy reality. Despite his conviction four long weeks ago he had reached to such a point of no return, he would have thought death was the only way out. Yet now here . . .

"I don't know," he continued aloud. "This feels right . . . and wrong at the same time." He sighed. "It doesn't matter. If I'm happy maybe….it's not so wrong. Is it?" Dib glanced up through the sunlight glowing through the leaves. "I sure could use an answer."

Dib walked on through the forest, preoccupied with his thoughts. He didn't see the dark shadow moving in the trees above him. He didn't see spider legs lower its owner to the ground. He didn't see the weapon in its hand.

But he did hear a twig snap behind him.

***

A/N: What Zim did to Gaz is not what you think although you might think that from how it's written. It's meant to be misleading.