The Duchess of Hamburg was engaged to marry the Duke of Frankfurt. The wedding
preparations were quite the ordeal. However, it wasn't until the pre-ceremony reception
that things got really interesting. You see, the men of Hamburg had had their eyes on the
Duchess. However, by the time they mustard up their courage and shouted, "Lettuce be
the one for you!", they were too late to ketchup to the Hot Duke (who relished his
victory, no doubt).

During the party, one of the relatives was a musician, and all the guests bugged him to
sing them his newest song. "Well" said the boy (who's name was Dracone Hipswagger),
"It doesn't have lyrics yet." But the guests insisted. "Okay, here goes," said Dracone.
And this is how it went:

"Du, Du-du-du-du Duduuuuuuuu
Du, Du-du-du-du Duuuuuuuuuuu
Du, Du-du-du-du DuuuuuDuuuuu, Du
Du-du-du-du-Duuuu, Du-Duuuuuu"

The best man thought it was terrible, but the worst man thought it was alright, and he was
the one who was the agent for a major record label.

In the meantime, a crowd of steaming Hamburg men was meating outside. Their beef
was that the Duchess had chosen the dog of a Duke instead of one of them. Fortunately,
the guests (who had never sausage an angry crowd) alerted the soon-to-be newlyweds of
the impending pandemayonnaise, so the couple escaped through a back window and got
married in the Duke's basement. Then they went on their honeymoon to (where else?)
Kentucky.